


No Rest for the Wicked

by Hallow17



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Death, Drinking, F/M, Fluff, Full blown smut, Ghosts, Guns, Paranormal, Possible smut, Spirits, Triggers, Violence, Weapons, Yummies!, lots of hot kissing, more seriousness, rivamika, yess, you've been warned!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:06:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 101,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2163501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hallow17/pseuds/Hallow17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa Ackerman is running away from her past. She moves to Manhattan in the hopes of escaping, running a small bookstore. There, she meets Levi, a stoic but capable man, a man with a dark past of his own. As she tried to move on, the things she sees keep trying to suck her back to a darker world but for some reason he is safe, someone who keeps the bad away. But will the past keep coming back to haunt her? Will the things she sees follow her for the rest of her life? Or will she finally be able to forget what had happened to her with the help of a mostly serious, germaphobic man. He might very well be the key that could save her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rearranging

Chapter 1: Rearranging

I had been shipped here to live in my own hollowness. I carried with me a single brown cardboard box containing some office supplies, while Eren took on the rest and Armin was in my office putting together the computer and wiring the T.V. in the living room. The elevator had just so happened to break down- or so they thought before I noticed the sad little girl keeping company there between the walls and metal door- the day before my arrival and living in a small apartment building such as this one, they had yet to have it repaired. So we trekked up and down the stairs on this cold February day, the sharp wind biting our eyes as we came in and out the building.

“Thanks, guys.” I said to them once in my apartment, shifting so that my red scarf didn’t choke me on the box. The girl had begun to cry, but no one else noticed and I was not in the mood to deal with that right now.

It wasn’t too bad inside. There was a small living room and a kitchen hung off to the right. Down a narrow hallway were the bathroom and my bedroom. And then there was what I would be using as my office, a small work space that just barely fit my old bookshelf and my desk.

“No problem, Mikasa.” Eren put his arm around my shoulder so quickly I almost lost balance of the box still perched in my hands. Almost. “Whoops.” There was no apology in that one word.

“Eren, be nice. She’s been through enough hassle, don’t you think?” Armin wiped away some sweat from his blond bangs. He put on a sweet smile while swatting Eren from me. “This isn’t so bad. I think it’s nice for a new apartment. You have very close facilities, including a supermarket, drug store and clothing store, not to mention the library… egh!” Armin shrieked as he was slapped on the back by Eren.

“Oh, enough of the boring talk, will you!” He ruffled the blonds shaggy hair, in which said blond shrunk away. “She can handle this on her own now. Are we done? Me and Armin have places to be and hardcore exercising to partake in.” Armin turned abrupty, blushing profusely at Eren’s bluntness. I smiled at the two.

“Eren!” Armin screeched.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve got the rest of this. You guys can head out.” I put on my best happy smile to let them know I would be fine. “I don’t want to hold you up here with me. Go do… whatever it is you want to.” I did not want to think about them having sex. No, no, no. The images that flashed through my mind…

“I don’t mind staying and helping at all.” Armin tried to save the situation with his kindness but I knew he would always put others before himself, no matter the cost. I waved him away, gently shoving him towards the door.

“No, it’s ok. Really. I got this.” Armin turned to look at me, looking almost dejected. Eren grabbed the blond like he leading a puppy away from its new toy.

“If she says she has it, she has it Armin.” Eren turned to me quickly. “If you need anything, we are a phone call away.” And then the two disappeared behind the doors to the stairwell. I smiled at how cute they were together. Then I closed my own door and turned the the daunting task of organizing.

 

Me moving here had not been my idea. Actually, it was Eren’s. After the whole fiasco in upstate New York, he told me that moving would be my best option, for now. He and Armin had an apartment in Manhattan, so they suggested I move there as well. All in all, I mostly assume they just wanted to keep a close eye on me for the time being. It was safer that way. Or so they thought.

See, I owned a small bookstore, Maria’s Corner, which provided enough income for now. Originally I had planned for it to be back at home, upstate, but things changed rather quickly. I had to create new plans, find a new location for it, and find a new place to call home. Fast. And here I am, shifting through boxes and trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered life, and trying oh so hard not to pay attention to the man upstairs screaming to see who could hear him when, in fact, I was the only one that could even see him.

I had been gifted- or cursed, as I thought- with the lovely ability to see the dead. Some may say this was awesome, but in fact it was constant hell. Epecially so when you lived in such a big city that knew nothing but death, cruelty, and had more than one skeleton hiding in the streets.

I took the rest of the day to rearrange all the stuff from my previous place and fill the new apartment with my own touch. That included a leather sofa and recliner, a black glass coffee table in the living room complete with a flat screen T.V. on a small entertainment center and a small bookshelf. I had a red rug on the dark wood floors and red pillows as accents on the couch. The kitchen was simple, but I continued the red theme in there as well. The tableware were red, the coffee maker red. I had a stainless steel oven, fridge, microwave and dishwasher- the appliances came with the apartment, which was a huge surprise to not only me but Eren and Armin as well.

My bedroom was painted by me and Sasha earlier, now a warm cinnamon color. It went well with the black, white and red bedroom set I had. My closet was a decent size, but if not I had enough drawer space anyway so it was all good. A nightstand lay next to the bed, and a small, dark chest at the foot of the bed, one that I promptly found myself resting on.

 _This is so much work._ I thought to myself. I hated going through this once. To have to go through it two years later was a nightmare. I had never imagined it. A flash of glass flickered across my mind, and I stood up, shaking my head of the memory. It is what it is.

As I was fixing up my bathroom, my phone rang in my pocket. I put down the towels and cleaning supplies and wiped off my hands before reaching for it. The caller ID said Sasha, so I picked it up.

“Mikasa!” She screamed at the other end. I took the phone away from my ear, waiting for it to get quiet before I put it back to my ear again. “You are finally here! Why didn’t you call me to help you! I could bring over meat!” It wasn’t a question, more like a forceful ‘you better say yes’ to the last sentence.

“I had Eren and Armin to help. Besides, aren’t you working?” I asked. In the background I could faintly hear the grumbling of Connie, who no doubt would be dragged along with Sasha’s crazy antics. “I’m just putting the place together anyway.”

“But you need a welcoming party!” She shouted again. She would use any excuse to cook, which I didn’t mind at all. Her food was quite good, seeing as how she was a chef working for an up-and-coming restaurant in Manhattan. “I could come over right now…”

“No, it’s a mess. Trust me, you don’t want to be here. I’m going to be heading off to sleep soon too. I’ve been putting stuff away since this morning.” I lied to her. I checked my phone for the time. It was only eight in the evening. Hardly time to be sleeping, especially being in the City that Never Sleeps.

“But I thought…” She started whining into the phone. I felt a little guilty.

“Maybe Saturday.” I tried to reason. She made a long sigh and then agreed, telling me that if I bailed, she would come over and make me eat some crazy concoction she’d create. I shivered, knowing quite well that she would do just that and then said goodbye for the night.

 _I’m pretty much done here._ I put the last of the stuff into the medicine cabinet and walked out of the bathroom. The last room I had to tackle was the office space. The desk and computer had already been set up, thanks to Armin, so all I had to do was put paper in the printer and put away the books I had collected over time.

I dragged box after box with me to the room, my raven black hair sometimes getting in my eyes. I blew it back and went to work filing the books by author. It wasn’t too bad seeing as how I did this on a normal basis. And I would be doing it again tomorrow, when I went to open my store for the first time, again. I sighed.

I reached the last of the boxes, the one I had been dreading the most. This one contained framed photos of old times, of me and my birth parents, then of me and my adopted family, of Eren and Armin as kids, of us growing up, going to college. The happy times.

The only things that I could now recall were the past four months of inexplicable terror and the band aids still on my legs, the paper thin scars on my hands, and the memories that lived in my nightmares.

I grabbed one and sat back on my leather computer chair. The frame was sleek and silver. Inside was a photo of me in the fall. The leaves had just been changing color and I didn’t understand yet just how peaceful life was for me. Before everything changed, before I could truly _see_. My eyes watered and the picture turned blurry in my hands, like someone took the colors and mixed them together, turning the beauty into a monstrosity. The tears pattered onto the frame, and I let them come now. They fell freely, as they had countless nights before.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic! Yay me! Please be gentle with me! I have no clue what I'm doing here. So I have a whole plan for this, I just need to know if you guys want me to continue. It might turn into a smut, I just don't know yet. Any comments, please feel free to leave them! Thanks for reading!


	2. Splintering

 Chapter 2: Splintering

 

 

The alarm clock blared in my ears and I jolted awake. My head was pounding, and I knew today was going to be long. I grumbled and smashed my hand on the off button. Time for work.

I made a cup of coffee and paired that with some regular, old fashioned cereal. Because why not? Then I got dressed in black skinny jeans and a crème colored sweater. I threw on black boots and grabbed my red button down long coat and scarf, grabbed my purse and keys and headed out, coffee still in hand. Locking the door, I headed to the lovely streets of New York, of which smelled like garbage and various foods from vendors along street corners. I should probably get used to it.

I walked along the sidewalk, my boots clacking along the paved sidewalks. It was only about four blocks a walk from here to my store’s location, not too bad. The air was cold but that was to be expected at six in the morning on a Tuesday. My scarf kept only half of my face warm and my hands were freezing by now. My hair whipped around in the wind as cars honked and sped by me. But all the noise and cold did not prepare me for the amount of spirits I saw floating about.

There had to be hundreds of them there, slithering along like the rest of the pedestrians. Some were very distorted. The only way you could tell they were human was by the color of their souls, most a fading or transparent blue or gray color, maybe even green or yellow. But then there were those that were not human, or not what they once used to be, instead deciding to go down a much darker path, one that lead to pain and destruction. What little soul they had were dark colors, blacks or browns, purples or reds. Those were the dangerous ones, as I had quickly found out.

I tried my best to dodge people on the street as well as the unexpected spirits floating about, and was shoulder checked once before reaching my store at a rapid pace. I was panting by the time I reached the door, turned the key, flew inside and slammed it. I leaned against the door for a few minutes, trying to catch my breath.

There was a noise directly in front of me. My eyes snapped open quickly to see who-or what- it was. Standing there was a man maybe a little older than me wearing what appeared to be dark jeans, a black button down dress shirt, white tie and black blazer. His hair was dark, in an undercut and parted so that his bangs lay on both sides of his head. He was shorter than me with a strong but slender build and an air about him that made him seem taller. And he was staring at me with intent, almost hostile eyes.

“Who are you?” He asked me. I stood up straight.

“That’s what I should be asking you, sir.” I took a quick look around the place and determined that it was devoid of humans and spirits alike, besides us. It was pretty small, but not as small as my last place. To my surprise the shelves had been mostly stocked up. Apparently I would not be doing much organizing and arranging today. I turned my attention back to the stranger.

“I was hired here by Eren Jaegar to look after this place for a week.” He stood his ground, staring me down like I was some insect on the bottom of his shoe. I didn’t flinch from his hard glare.

“I’m the owner of this store.” I said proudly. If he was shocked he didn’t show it whatsoever. The only thing I caught was the slight flicker in his eyes. His gaze changed somewhat, softening ever so slightly.

“Ah, so that explains it. That brat told me you were coming today.” He turned away from me abruptly, deciding that I was insignificant in whatever he was doing. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and followed him back in the store. “I’ve been stuck here for this long so why not clean the place up and do something with my boredom. It was absolutely filthy in here.” I couldn’t decide if he was grumbling or stating a simple fact.  

“That brat happens to be my brother.” He sipped behind a bookcase and I took a peek at what he was doing. Resting on one of the shelves was a crate of cleaning supplies and heavy duty gloves. So he was cleaning around. “But thanks for cleaning.” He went back to work, not even caring about my thanks.

“You guys are sibling?” He began wiping things down. I spotted a door just in front of me and walked around a few boxes to it, turning the grey knob. It opened easily and inside was a little room, probably for breaks. A dark coat lay on one of the chairs, as well as a brief case. _Probably his stuff,_ I thought as I put my mug down, unraveled my scarf and unbuttoned my coat and lay it on the chair across from his. I threw my keys in my bag and put my purse across the back of the chair and warmed my fingers up with my breath. There was a little table in between the metal chairs and counter top space, including a microwave and mini fridge. Convenient.

“That brat bought this crap.” I jumped in the air when I heard his distinct voice behind me.

“You want to give me a heart attack, don’t you?” I glared back at him. He went to the garbage and tossed some napkins and used cleaning supplies in it. He was going to take some getting used to. “Yes, we’re siblings. And I’m Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman.” I reached my hand out to him, as I did with so many people I had met before. He looked at my outstretched hands as if contemplating whether or not to take it, and I was about to put my hand down when his rough fingers slid along my palm and grabbed my hand.

“Levi Ackerman.” He pulled my hand down in a firm handshake and our eyes met.

In that one moment something shot up the length of my arm, almost like an electric shock. I pulled my hand from him quickly from his as if something had bit me and looked up at him in complete shock. Some form of emotion flitted across his face, shock, wonder, awe, before he masked it all completely. I was left questioning the entire moment, and before I could say anything, he was already walking out the door. _What the hell was that?_

“So we have the same last name. Cool.” I walked out to the front of the building and decided to do some exploring. The layout was small, but it didn’t matter. I had forgotten all about the second floor we had. “This could be cool.” I began walking up the creaky old steps.

This floor was almost completely barren. Levi had done such a thorough job of the bottom floor that he probably had no time to check this one out. Littered on the floor were labeled boxes of tons of books that needed to be put away. Up here, it was a lot colder than downstairs. I would have to get someone in to check the heating.

“I called for someone to check out the heating for upstairs. It’s way too cold in that shitty room.” I caught Levi say from downstairs. So he was one step ahead of me. I smiled a little bit and rolled up my sleeves. This was going to take all day, and my pretty sweater was going to be ruined by the end of it.

 

Six hours, a trip to Starbucks and a black coffee later and the second floor was starting to look livable. There were only a few more boxes to go through, and the day was flying by. Levi had finished the rest of the bottom floor so he came upstairs to help me, his blazer off and tie loose around his throat.

What got me was the fact that I had yet to see any spirits. From what I had seen already, this place should be prime crawling grounds for at least a few of them. A creepy, mostly gray store that had been left alone for weeks? Ya, this place should be teeming with spirits. But I had yet so see or even hear one.

“You haven’t heard anything strange around here, have you?” I asked him while he carried a box to the other side and began perching books on freshly cleaned shelves.

“Besides all the noise outside and a faint rustling in these damn pipes? No.” He gave me a quick glance and continued his work. That was so strange to me though. Should I take that as a good omen? Or some type of warning for something more? I did not believe in coincidence, but these four months have been nothing but strange to me. I decided to change the subject.

“So my brother hired you without telling me. That’s just like him.” I smiled at the thought of him carrying around the mini fridge and oven. Armin probably watched and set the break room tables and chairs up as Eren cursed about, trying to figure out where to plug everything in.

“Ya. The brat said it was in desperate need of some serious cleaning and practically got on his knees asking me to help out.” Levi grabbed another box, going to a separate shelf.

“Ya, but don’t you have somewhere else to be right now? Like, I don’t know, a job?” I switched to another box and peered over at him.

“No, not really.” Was all he gifted me with. So a man shrouded in mystery. I sighed. He was really going to take some getting used to. I grabbed a huge stack of books and went to another shelf, about to lay them on one.

“Wait, don’t…” Levi started to say, but I had already slammed the books on the shelf. The bottom fell through and came down with a crash, tipping the whole thing with it. I braced myself for the impact, the pain of having wood crash onto flesh and bone, the splintering, the crack of my head hitting the floor, but instead I was shoved backwards by something, or someone.

A solid crash came from somewhere in front of me as wood crashed and splintered off the floor. I could hear pages crumpling and smashing. And the breath of someone so close to my ear, the heat of his body radiating off of him. I opened my eyes slowly as a plume of dust rained down over us. One of his arms covered the back of his head as the other cushioned mine as I fell back. His weight pressed down on me. I held my breath. That moment seemed to be frozen in time.

He stared at me for a few more seconds before deciding to climb off. Then he stood up and dusted himself off.

“I told you not to put the books there.” He said, condescendingly. Whatever moment we had was ruined. “Now we have to clean everything over again.” And that’s when I decided he was a clean freak with some kind of OCD about being dirty. I closed my eyes and leaned against the cold floor. So much for being almost done.

 

It took another two hours of silently cleaning to get the place back to normal and another two to place the rest of the books on the shelves. The wood would have to be discarded into the break room for now before I could properly have it recycled. Levi helped me move them without saying a single word to me the whole time. Conversation did not come easy.

It was nine o’clock by the time we were completely done. It was a lot easier having him around, I had to say. He was quite handy. I bit my lip, gathering my stuff to go home. He had slipped on his coat and looked about to leave.

“Wait.” I looked down at my hands, then back at him. “You said you weren’t doing anything else right now, right?” He just looked back at me, so I took that as a yes. “Are you coming back here tomorrow then?” I searched for any affirmation in his eyes but he was so hard to read.

“Maybe.” And with that one word, he walked out the door. The little bell rang off behind him, the only indication that he was ever here. I blinked as he disappeared, then gathered my stuff, turned off the lights and locked up all the doors.

The walk home was better this time because I was prepared, but that did not stop me from walking fast. I was not about to play with fire. I entered the apartment building, feeling better to be home. Then I heard the cries and the yelling. Well, maybe I had a few things to accomplish first.

 

It wasn’t long before I had the little girl well on her way to The Brighter Place, as I liked to call it. She only wanted a toy that was trapped in the stairwell. The man, on the other hand, disappeared on me before I could try to help him reach the Brighter Place too. Maybe another day.

I crashed onto the couch with a sandwich in hand and took a bite. I needed to do some serious shopping later. During the daytime. At night, the Other Ones like to play. I shivered and flicked through the channels. A crime show popped up in which a girl was running around furiously from a man hiding in the shadows.

_My hair was dirty and matted with water and mud. My legs throbbed and ached all over. I willed myself to go on, to continue. If I stopped, I would die. I knew that._

_My ankle buckled underneath me on an uneven patch of concrete and I smashed onto the floor. Something bit into my hands, going underneath my fingernails. I screamed out, my legs being embedded with the shards of glass. Blood welled up into them but I bit the pain back and stood up, the bottoms of my feet not taking the white hot pain._

_“Mikasa!” He yelled behind me. Fear gripped my chest like a snake. I bolted forward. He was coming close. He was going to get me! I’m going to die! I willed myself to go on._

I jolted out of the memory, my mind numb from it. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I undressed. I turned the shower to scolding hot. I stepped in. It took me only seconds to realize what I was doing before I couldn’t take the heat and I turned it off. My skin burned, but it shook me out of the mind numbing feeling. I stayed under the water for some time, letting the water mix with my tears. I looked down at the scars, at the faint ghost feeling of pain from my feet, the palms of my hands, my knees. It would never go away.

*****

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is also just a teaser for what's to come. Want more? Comment! I welcome comments here! No judgement because I know I suck!


	3. Feeling

Chapter 3: Feeling

 

The clock blared in my ears. It was extra early in the morning, the first rays of sun peaked in through my window in light hues. I rolled over after turning off the clock and stood up, slipping on my slippers I had just found the night before in the closet. I was determined to get to the store early this time.  

I quickly ate breakfast with the news on, checked the weather for today, threw on some clothes and headed out the door. I made a quick stop to Dunkin Donuts before turning back to head in the direction of the store. On the way, I spotted more than one dark spirit, called for lack of a better term, the Dark Ones. They groaned and liked to cause mischief in the streets, causing people to smash into each other, or cars to almost collide together. There was no way I would be able to deal with them all. I just let it be, seeing as how it was the natural order here in the city.

I reached the bookstore and unlocked the door like normal this time, the bell going off above me. It smiled like cleaning supplies and felt like it was just starting to heat up. Levi must have set the heat on a timer for the morning. He seemed to know all the right things to do here even before I did. I sighed at my own incompetence and turned on the lights to the store, heading to the break room to drop my stuff.

There still were no sightings of anything paranormal yet, and I was super surprised by the fact that there wasn’t a single one roaming the halls. I shrugged and went to the front counters in the store where I collected paper work and binders filled with catalogs of all the items in the store. I minus well do a double check to see if everything was here while I waited. 

I started with upstairs, then walked downstairs just as the front door bell rung. Levi strolled in, this time wearing his jacket and without the briefcase I assumed was filled with cleaning supplies.

“So you did come back.” I smiled slyly as he went to the back, dumping his stuff and unbuttoning his jacket. He was wearing a white button down shirt and black vest, a black tie artfully around his neck, and jeans. “I didn’t know you were going to come back here.” I went over to another bookshelf and checked off all the items that were there. “You know,” I put the pen to my mouth, thumping it along my lips, “If you want to work here, you’re more than welcome to.”

I heard a few shuffles before something sounding like paper was laid on the front desk. “I actually do.” He stated, leaving me for upstairs. Wait, what? I never saw an application. I told him as much, which he answered easily. “Eren told me to fill one out before.” In which I grumbled.

Of course Eren would go ahead and start deciding things for me. Armin probably even agreed with it too, deciding to have someone they chose on the inside to watch me. I finished cataloging and went to the desk to pick up whatever he dropped. It was a manila folder, and inside was his application. I stared at it, only glancing at all his information. So he was employed here. I needed employees, but I thought I was going to be the one to pick and choose, seeing as how I already had a stack of them that wanted to work here.

“I need the help anyhow.” I put the folder with the other papers and went to the front, turning the sign to open. I hoped today would be a decent day for me.

 

The day went by pretty quietly. There were a few people here now, and most of them seemed to be random tourists who knew nothing of the city but instead decided to pop in for a few seconds. I smiled politely and greeted them, telling each one that if they had any questions, to feel free to ask me. By the end of the day, my cheeks were hurting.

Levi on the other hand decided to broad around. It almost felt like he was guarding the entire place, glancing from customer to customer with keen eyes when they turned away from him. I let him be, deciding to weed out the people who applied here. So far, I had three people in mind. A Marco, Bertolt, and a girl named Hitch. I would have to call them later.

“Hey.” I heard a voice from in front of me. I dragged my eyes to a pair of icy ones. “It’s pretty late and we’ve been here all day. Maybe we should close.” He suggested. I looked to the clock hanging on the wall to the left. It was ten at night already. My stomach grumbled. I didn’t have dinner yet.

“Ya, sure.” I rubbed my eyes. I was starting to get sleepy sitting there all day in the chair at the front. “Let me just do a walk around.” I got up, stretching my tired limbs.

“I already did.” Levi said. I looked to him. Of course he did.

“Well then I guess we should be going.” I walked to the back, putting on my coat and scarf and collecting my employee folder in my purse. Levi walked in front of me and waited for me to turn off the store lights and lock the door. When I turned around he was unexpectedly very close to me. I could smell the faint whiff of cologne mixed with his own scent, something between clean laundry and pine. It was good. I took an involuntary step back.

“So I’m actually going to stop by someplace to grab something to eat.” I looked around the streets quickly. I had no idea where anything was, nor had I mapped out any restaurants close to the store. This was the city though. Surely I would find something if I just walked around for a bit. I bit my lip.

“You have no idea where to go, do you?” It was less of a question and more of a statement. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t want to seem like a ditz, but the city was not a place I knew all the little stores and restaurants of comfortably yet. He turned from me quickly, and I half expected him to walk away like he didn’t care. But instead he surprised me. “Come on. I know a dinner a few blocks from here.” I stared at his fleeting back for a moment before jogging to catch his long strides.

It was an easy enough walk to the little dinner, and we grabbed booth that looked out into the rest of the city. I turned my head to the window, observing the spirits that roamed around the people and the lights that bounced through them easily instead of looking into Levi’s hard eyes and calculating expression. He was very serious all the time. I wondered what made him like that.

“So what brought you to the city?” I took my eyes away from the twinkling city lights to Levi, who was talking a sip from a glass water. I toyed with the napkin on the table.

“I needed a change of scenery. I lived upstate before in a small town surrounded by mountains.” He put the cup down as I tore little rips in the soft paper.

“Those big ass trees drove you away, huh.” I tried not to laugh at his comment, but my face betrayed me, my smile wide.

“You could say that.” The waitress came by, asking for out orders. I promptly asked for a plate of strawberry and banana pancakes and a hot chocolate. Levi ordered French toast and tea. When she left, I turned back to him. “You order breakfast for dinner too.” I noted. So he wasn’t as uptight as I thought.

“Sure. What’s the point of going to a dinner at night if you don’t?” His eyes seemed to soften in the smallest of ways. His shoulders relaxed against the plastic seating and he leaned forward. I studied his face for a few moments when he turned to look outside. He had a sharp nose and eyebrows. His mouth was not to plump or thin, fitting his face rather nicely. His grey eyes looked out to be searching for something in the distance, and I got the feeling that this man here before me carried a similar type of pain to my own. I couldn’t hold back the question any longer.

“So what did you do before all of this? I mean, before the bookstore.” I asked politely, trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He didn’t move for a while, just continued staring outside. For a few seconds, I thought he didn’t hear me, but then he turned, folding his hands underneath his chin and resting his head on top.

“I was part of the Federal Bureau of Investigation a while back.” He looked for a reaction in my eyes, and when he didn’t find one I guess he decided to continue. “I was working on a case with some serious drug dealers. They found out who I was and where I lived and shot my fiancé. I left shortly after. And here I am now.” My eyes widened a bit at that information. That was probably the feeling that I had earlier, when I knew he was carrying some heavy stuff around with him.

“That sucks.” Just then the waitress came over with our food, and I quickly focused on the buttermilk pancakes in front of me. They were much safer. I drowned them in syrup.

Twenty minutes later and I had the food polished off. We never said anything while we ate, but the silence wasn’t completely uncomfortable. I took a long gulp of the hot chocolate, now lukewarm.

“What was her name?” I asked softly. His eyes flickered to me before he swallowed his food down and grabbed the tea cup.

“Petra.” He looked at the thick, dark liquid in the cup. His eyes hardened again, going from relaxed to tense in seconds. I decided to leave the rest of my questions for a later time. I had prodded enough.

“Trust me, I know how you feel.” I drank the rest of my hot chocolate and then proceeded to hunt down my wallet.

“No. It’s on me.” Levi had produced a few crisp bills and laid them on the table, proceeding to stand and slipping on his coat. I followed suit. We walked out together into the cold night air. The city was filled with so many noises, but it also contained so much pain hidden in every corner, every wall, every breath someone took. The spirits swirled about in huge masses.

“Thank you for that.” I took a lock of hair and tucked it behind my ear. Dinner had been nice tonight. And if you ignored the heavy feelings still hanging around us, it almost felt like a date. I tried to bite back the flush from creeping up my face, pulling my scarf further up my cold-bitten cheeks.

“Anytime.” Levi turned from me, heading in whatever direction his home would be in. “Get home safe.” He put his hand up and tipped two fingers to the right of him as if waving goodbye. I watched him walk away before deciding to do the same.


	4. Raging

Chapter 4: Raging

When I stepped into the apartment complex I heard the similar screaming of a man. I knew I would have to take care of it some time or another. At least he wasn’t a Dark One. I followed the yelling to the end of a hallway. The light was out, of course. Its energy was probably being sucked up and used by the frantic man. I spotted his angry form slouching in the laundry room tenants were allowed to use. His face was buried in his hands as he sobbed. I did a quick glance around before determining we were alone at the moment, then I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

The room was colder than the hallway. That usually was the case for these kinds of things. He never looked up at me so I took the initiative to speak.

“Hey there.” I started. His head snapped up, and he turned to look behind himself before looking back at me in complete disbelief.

“Y-you can see me?” His grey eyes stared back at me in awe. I gave a quick nod. He had to be in his fifties, in a plain white t-shirt and sweats. There were no signs of how he died on him, so I assumed it wasn’t too violent. “Oh, thank god!” He rushed to me and tried to grab for my hands. I recoiled back but it was too late. When his hands touched mine, his energy flowed into me in the form of feelings. They drove themselves in a tidal wave into my unprepared head. I stepped away from him and my eyes snapped closed, the contact gone just like that.

“Don’t do that.” My voice was hard, a little too harsh sounding. To my defense, I know had a raging migraine. It felt like a piece of me was taken. I leaned against the machine and opened my eyes again. “When spirits do that, all sorts of things come rushing into my head. It makes me weak.” I tried to reason. He didn’t try to touch me again but he still looked frantic, like he didn’t really care about me.

“Listen, I need you to do something for me.” These were the words I heard most often from spirits. “I need you to get a message to my late wife. I left something for her. Something important. I hid it in the basement wall, behind some bricks. It will give her some money to pay for the kids and the house. I need you to tell her to find it and to sell it. Please!” He almost reached out for me again but thought better of it and instead went to the floor in a begging position. I was taken aback by the gesture.

“Sure, no problem. I just need to know where she lives. And you can stand up. It’s really not necessary to…” I was cut off quickly.

“550 H Grand Street, Apartment 5. Please, get it to her quick!” He stood up abruptly as if waiting for me to run out and do just that. I took my hand off the washer machine and stood up straight.

“I promise you, I will. But you have to go.” Behind him, I felt a similar warmth I had felt so many times before. A similar warmth I had once felt with my own spirit, four months ago. He looked at me like I was crazy.

“But I have to make sure…” His eyes were persistent but I cut him off.

“Trust me, I swear I will get that to your wife. But you need to go.” I pointed behind him to where the warmth was radiating from. He turned for a second and froze, standing there, staring into what I could only assume to be the afterlife, the Brighter Place.

“My god, it’s beautiful.” He took a step toward it, but stopped short and turned to me with a worried expression. “Can I really trust you to give her that message?” He asked sincerely. I gave him a soft nod, smiling and waving my hands for him to go along. He turned away from me again to walk into the warmth, and like that he was gone in the blink of an eye.

I was left standing there for a few moments, reminiscing about the warmth of that very light. Whatever it was, it sure was something else. A place I almost found myself visiting.

My phone decided to blare in my pocket and I was thrown out of my thoughts, grabbing it and walking out of the room to the stairwell. It was Eren.

“Just the person I wanted to talk to. What makes you think that you can just…”

“I’m sorry, Mikasa! I knew you would find out and I was supposed to call you but I forgot to tell you on Sunday!” Eren sounded distressed. He knew that when I got mad, it usually ended up with him being knocked on the floor. I put my hand to my temple, rubbing it in slow circles.

“Right, so you just so happened to hire someone who I don’t even _know_ to start _working_ in my store. How am I supposed to handle that?” I yelled into the receiver. I could see him now, flinching away from the phone.

“I swear he’s a good guy! He used to be a lot more likeable a year ago, I swear!” Eren tried to convince me. I found the door out of the stairwell to my floor and opened it, letting it slam behind me. Then I fished out my keys to unlock my apartment door.

“That’s not even the point, Eren. You hired him to watch me, didn’t you? You think I’m going to do something stupid so you hired an ex FBI officer to watch me! I know you did!” I slammed my apartment door closed in anger, throwing my stuff on my couch in the living room.

“No, I didn’t…” He began to say but I could hear the truth in his voice.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” I hung up on him and threw my phone on the couch as well. It went off a second later, but there was no way I was going to pick it up now. The last of any energy I had left me in my rage and my mind was spinning. That spirit took a lot out of me, more than I had originally thought.

I grabbed the folder of potential employees from my purse and went to my office, sitting down on the comfy black chair. Before I could do anything I had to write that letter before I forgot the details of what the spirit man wanted me to write. I jotted down everything he said onto a brown and white card I had lying around and tucked the letter neatly into its matching envelope. I scribbled the address and took it with me to my room.

I could only undress out of my clothes before I collapsed onto my bed. So much for showering. When my head hit the pillow, it was lights out for me.

*****

“You look cheery today.” Levi noted when I stepped into the store. I was late due to the fact that I needed to shower and I slept through the alarm clock blaring in my ear. Maybe I should invest in multiple ones. My hair was windblown and probably a mess, and my scarf was dangling half a second away from falling off my shoulders.

“Shut up.” I dragged my feet along to the break room. I didn’t get to stop somewhere for my morning coffee. I was going to be acting like one of the dead all day. Ugh.

“You have something in your hair.” Levi walked up to me, stepping close to inspect whatever it was on my head. I froze ad his lithe fingers gingerly touched my hair, grabbing whatever it was out. They lingered there for a few seconds, trailing down towards my face before he stepped back. My face went hot, a red flush creeping into my cheeks. He held a single string in between his fingers.

“T-thanks.” I looked down before he stepped away to throw it in the trash.

“No problem.” He called out to me. I went behind the counter as he flipped the sign to open, the envelope of employees in my hand. During my lunch break I would make some calls. I leaned against the counter, waiting for the bell to go off, signaling a new customer.

 

“Nope, it sounds good to me. When can you start?” I asked Marco on my cell phone. I had run out during my lunch break to grab coffee before I started my calls. I already spoke to Hitch, who said she could be here whenever- she was pretty flexible. Bertolt never picked up the phone call, so I left him a message to call me back sometime about the part-time job. Marco was on the line now, his kind awkwardness making him a bit weary of my fast paced job offer.

“Are you sure you don’t want to interview me? I mean, I could be some psycho.” He asked. In the background I heard someone laugh out loud. Marco hushed them.

“It’s for that exact reason I know you aren’t.” I reassured him. He proceeded to tell me that afternoons were better for him any that he couldn’t do Saturday’s or Tuesday’s on account of some volunteer work he was taking part in, and that tomorrow was ok to start. He asked me again if it was ok not to do an interview and I told him for the hundredth time that it was. If he was a psychopath I could fire him anyway.

We ended the call on a happy note and I was excited to see just who I would be working with in the future. I was so excited, in fact, that I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I stepped right into the line of fire with a Dark One. One touch and a thousand awful moments, feelings, memories, snapped before my eyes. I was almost thrown backwards on the street.

I was again not prepared for that. I cursed at my own clumsiness as I gripped for something to hold onto as the feelings washed over me, gripping at my heart and racing through my mind like an explosion. It was painful. With these guys, it always was. But I wasn’t the only one that felt something.

“You.” Came a garbled voice. It was so distorted I almost couldn’t make out the words. I turned to the broken spirit in front of me. Its back was slouched and humped at one side, one arm missing and a leg broken at an unnatural angle. My heart raced. This one was particularly dark. The color of what little soul it had left was almost all black, with a smidge of red swirling in the center. I stepped away from it, pushing the dark feelings it had passed onto me aside for the moment.

“You. I want you.” It came towards me. My eyes widened in cold fear. One did not want to mess with these kinds of spirits. I looked around first before deciding to run for it. I didn’t even look back as I ran back to the store. I heard it call out for me again as I slammed into a random person on the street, yelling out a quick apology before I saw my store. Then I smashed into the door and slammed it behind me, bending over to breath.

“Mikasa?” Levi was coming towards me, looking at me with something that looked like worry on his face. I could care less how he felt. I fell to the floor, panting, trying to push down the shared feelings of fear, of utter, inexplicable pain and sorrow. I could hear Levi talking to me, but at the same time I didn’t. I was locked in my own mind, forcing it to go away.

“Mikasa, are you ok.” Levi now had both sides of my face cupped in his hands and he turned me to look at him. I stared into his eyes, my focus now on him, at the grey flecks that sparked in there, ready for anything. I calmed my breathing and snapped out of it. His hands were warm on my skin, his breath mixing with my own as he knelt before me. “Is someone out there trying to hurt you?” He was all seriousness. I shook my head quickly, swallowing the terror.

“No, no. It’s just that- I thought someone was following me and I freaked out. I overreacted. I’m ok.” I lied. I tried not to bite my lip as he searched my eyes for the truth. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell anyone.

He let his hands fall away from me and like that the connection was broken. He took a look outside as if daring anyone to come in, and then he held out a hand for me. I graciously took it, and in that one gesture everything felt ok. Everything felt alright when I was around him, like he could keep away all the terrible things I saw.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized to him again. He nodded towards me before turning around. I stood in the front of the store for a few moments, trying to calm my nerves. Luckily, there was nobody in here right now besides the two of us. Behind me, the bell rang for a new customer. I threw on a mask, forcing my face into a warm-hearted smile, and turned to the customer.

“Welcome!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am still going to go on! I actually want to see just how far these characters are willing to bend to my will. They are weaving this story for me, and it's pretty interesting to see this development. Thought it was good? Thought it was bad? Leave a comment!


	5. Turning

Chapter 5: Turning

I turned the sign on the door to closed, my keys jingling in my hand. Levi stood behind me, turning off the lights as we stepped outside into the night air.

“The heating company should be coming over Friday to check the second floor vents.” Levi said as he stepped onto the sidewalk. “It’s way too cold up there.” He stopped close to me.

“Ya, thanks for calling them.” My voice came out a bit strained and depressed. The remnants of pain and sorrow were finally beginning to leave my sore head. The mask I was wearing all day crumbled away as soon as the last customer left the store, and I drudged along the rest of the time closing the place. Levi had just looked on, not saying anything to me. I was glad.

“Listen, are you sure you’re ok?” Well, I guess I couldn’t expect that much from him. He was only trying to be kind, but I was too drained to even put much thought into his attention to my crappy mood.

“Yup. I just need to get some sleep.” I pulled my scarf tighter on me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And then I turned from him. I didn’t want to stand there and have to explain anything more to him. Right now, I was just glad that the spirits weren’t close to me at the moment.

It was actually weird. They would always roam around the place like normal, and yet whenever I was around Levi, they seemed to stay clear of us- or maybe him. I had never had that happen. Maybe, just maybe, he was some type of human warding agent. I could only dream of something like that. To not have to deal with the paranormal would be a blessing. But I would never be normal again.

I paid extra attention to weaving through the spirits as well as the people on the street this time. Under no circumstance was I to touch another spirit. I would probably pass out cold on the street if it happened again. The two from before already took that much out of me. Another one would be catastrophic.

I was only one block from my building when my phone rang. I picked it up, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

“Yup.” Wow, my voice was so cold, even to my own ears.

“Hey, Mikasa.” It was Armin’s calm voice on the other end. I opened the door to the building and found my way to the staircase, not even bothering anymore with checking to see if the elevator was working. “I heard what happened with Eren.” Of course he did. “Listen, he was only worried about you. He really didn’t think it was that bad of an idea.”

“I know Armin. And I’m sorry for freaking out on him like that.” Armin was always trying to be the referee between arguments. He was the middle man, capable of calming down a wild gorilla if need be with logic and big words. I unlocked my door and let it close behind me. Then I proceeded to the couch at a sluggish pace, falling into the soft cushions.

“We know you have a lot on your plate right now and all but we just want to make sure your ok. Plus, it seemed like the most logical thing to hire someone to help you out at the store. It’s not like it’s the smallest place in the world, and it was really dirty, so Eren asked Levi, and strange enough the guy showed up the next morning.” Armin went on to explain. “We were actually surprised.”

“Ya, I heard. So he was ex FBI, huh? And his poor fiancé.” I put my arm over my eyes. “That’s just awful. I couldn’t imagine…” But I could. I could feel the suffering of such a loss now. I could understand it completely.

“We were trying to help him and help you. We got the store decently cleaned up and told him that it was really helpful to have him around, him and his cleaning OCD.” Armin giggled nervously. “And then he just started showing up on his own, putting stuff together and arranging the bookshelves that arrived early. It was strange, but it looked like he was putting his heart into the work.” My eyes snapped open.

“Wait, so, what, you called him up to help a little bit, and then he went all gun-ho and started building and organizing everything?” I sat up. “Just how long were you guys planning on him to do all that?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“W-well, Eren told me he gave him enough money to work for three days. We didn’t want to overdo it, but we knew he was really good at cleaning and fixing up places. The next thing we knew, Levi had filled out a job application and told us he was going to be working there from now on.” My jaw dropped. What an arrogant bastard! To assume he could just come in there and think he had the job just like that.

“And you didn’t think to tell me you did all this?” I directed my glare into the TV, seeing as how the object of my anger wasn’t standing in front of me at the moment, all 5’9” of him. “Not even a text, Armin?”

“I thought Eren had taken care of it, I swear! He told me on multiple occasions that it was covered, not to worry, Armin. I didn’t know.” He sounded sorry for what had happened, all sincerity in his words. I sighed in exasperation.

“It’s not your fault either, Armin. I’m sorry if I’m being a bitch. I had a really long day.” With spirits trying to suck the life force out of me, and then the emotional whiplash Levi gave me. “If he did all that, then I don’t even mind him working there. He’s helped me out a lot anyway.” Armin sighed into the receiver like he was alleviated of stress.

“That’s not surprising. Eren told me that he was really good at his job, back when they worked together on a case.”  In my own stupid mind, I forgot to even put two and two together. That’s how he knew Eren! They worked in the FBI together once upon a time! “And that it was absolutely awful what happened to his fiancé back then.” I couldn’t care less for what Armin was saying now.

“So Eren knows the whole story then!” Of course he did. Something like that would travel quite fast in that field of work. “Can you share some of it with me?” It took a little convincing on Armin’s end for him to agree to ask Eren for me. Armin thought I was being nosy, but I had other things in mind.

We said goodbye, and I tucked my phone in my pocket, heading to the fridge. I forgot to do groceries again, I noted, as I took in the mostly empty fridge. I pouted, instead opting for an apple. What the hell, I wouldn’t die.

I took a fast shower and went off into my room. A tragedy is what put that look on Levi’s face. He had everything ripped away from him by the act of some criminals. I turned on my bed, trying to push down a snippet of my past.

_It all happened to fast. I ran for all I was worth, ignoring the feeling of blood traveling down the open wounds and drying on my skin in the night air. My eyes stung from the sweat mixed with dirt dripping into them. I dared not stop to fix it. I just continued on._

_I found myself in a wooded clearing with nowhere else to go. I had no clue where I was, but my captor must have taken me to an abandoned warehouse. That would explain the empty field devoid of any kind of civilization. I did not stop for a single second. I pressed forward, losing myself in the clearing._

I could depict the exact moment where something in me snapped. In those very woods I ran into, or fell into, I left a part of myself behind. In a situation like that, it was necessary. I couldn’t think about happiness, or my friends. The bookstore I was planning to open and its new ok for launch disappeared completely. My survival was all that mattered back then. Run, run, run. Run away from the bad man. Keep on running. Ignore my burning muscles or my tear-stained face. Ignore the grit. Ignore the cold, tearing flesh. Run.

I closed my eyes tightly, reliving that moment as I did a thousand times before. I needed to sleep. I could only find relief in the empty blackness when my conscious disappeared completely and I was left in a state of nothingness. It took a while, but I finally found that relief.

*****

I woke up before my alarm went off, tossing and turning because of a nightmare. It took a few seconds to realize where I was before I turned to look at the clock. It was five in the morning. I grumbled as I got up. Minus well do something with the morning.

I threw on a pair of black sweatpants, a black sports bra and cami and decided that this morning I would go for a little jog. I was actually not too far from a nice park that had a long stretch of pavement dedicated to joggers, as I was told by Armin. I grabbed my iPod and ear buds and left the house, putting my key to the apartment on a lanyard.

Once outside, I noticed that the sky was grey, threatening to rain. I was already outside anyway. I needed to take my mind off of a few things right now.

I walked to the park, my music blearing. It was a nice change of pace, the birds chirping, the people heading off to work of the nearest convenient store. The spirits walked about carelessly. I specifically averted my gaze, making sure none of them would flag me down.

When I hit the part, I started off on a fast walk after doing a couple of stretches. My body got used to this quickly, knowing that I could take on more. I worked up to a steady jog, looking ahead of me.

This place was nice, and I could imagine the seagulls cawing in the air and the water from the river sloshing dirty water onto the path people ran on. I stuck to the far side, not wanting my shoes to get ruined.

I worked myself up to a run, feeling the familiar burn of my lungs as it took in oxygen, the rushing of my pulse as my blood pumped faster, my leg muscles working on overdrive.

I ran for everything I was worth now, forgetting about the spirits that walked by or the past that hurled itself into me over and over like a flood. I wanted to forget it all, to let it run off of me like the sweat that ran down my forehead and to the middle of my chest down my breasts.

Why did everything have to change? Why did it have to be me that ran into the man on the side of the road? That had to get kidnapped and thrown in the back of the trunk? That woke up duck taped and covered in scrapes and bruises, my clothes torn and frayed?

I forgot the world around me and was thrown back when I collided into another runner. My hands shot out to find something, anything to stop me from tumbling face first into the ground. They met steely arms. The person grabbed my forearms, balancing me and keeping me upright. I looked up to apologize.

And was met with the same grey eyes I had memorized days ago.

“Why do I keep meeting you at the worst of times?” I asked more to myself then to him. His eyebrow went up.

“What do you mean?” He looked me up and down for a second before deciding I wasn’t going to tumble to the floor and let my arms go. I was breathing heavily.

“Oh,” pant, “never mind. It doesn’t matter.” I stood up a little straighter. “What are you doing here so early?” I took in his Nike shorts and t-shirt before coming to the conclusion myself.

“I could ask you the same thing? I was running. It’s what I do every morning.” That’s what I thought anyway. “What are you doing running like that? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He glanced behind me, a flash of protectiveness in his eyes before it vanished. I swallowed.

“Just that. I was running.” I paused my music so I could hear a little better. There was a dull ringing in my ears, signaling I probably had turned it up too much. “I’m actually going to be heading out soon. I need to stop by the store to pick up a few things.” And I smelled like sweat, which was not attractive at all.

Scratch that. In Levi’s case, it was very attractive, as I could see that well now.

“Ok. See you at the store, then.” We said goodbye, a confused look still on his face as I watched him jog along. I needed to come up with some better excuses, and fast. I don’t know how long I was going to be able to stand this city and the spirit pollution here.

I stopped by the nearest grocery store, grabbing some necessary food items, before leaving. My hands were full, four bags tucked easily on each. The weight wasn’t too bad. I worked out often when I was upstate so I had a nice layer of muscle on me.

I reached my apartment and put everything in its respective spots, then head off to shower the layer of grime off.  I came out smelling like lavender and headed to my room to put on brown slacks, a ruffled cream colored shirt and a brown suit jacket. I threw on my black wedged ankle boots and grabbed my cream trench coat and grabbed for my purse and keys before heading out.

On the way to the store I grabbed a coffee like usual, watching a spirit much around behind the counters. When I entered my store, Levi was already leaning against the front desk.

 “You look better than before, at least. He commented as I went to the break room, sipping my coffee. I heard him follow me. “Someone named Bertolt called the store asking if the job was still open. I told him it was, and the heating guy confirmed our appointment for tomorrow.” He told me as I unwrapped my scarf and unbuttoned my coat.

I went to leave the break room, but Levi stood in my way. I put my hands on my hips, expecting him to move, to no avail. He instead leaned against the door frame.

“So you gonna tell me what’s going on or are you going to leave me guessing.” He put it out there bluntly, not caring one bit if I was uncomfortable. My eyes widened a fraction at the probing question.

I knew I couldn’t expect an ex FBI agent to completely take my lies without question. He’s probably heard every excuse in the book. I bit on my lower lip, not knowing what to say. His eyes sharpened on me as if looking at a cornered animal.

“I know something’s up because of your face. You look around at things that aren’t even there. You bust into the room as if you were running for your life and looked just about ready to pass out. Your eyes were practically glazed over this morning when you crashed into me. Now I sure as hell know there’s something wrong with this situation.” He finished talking. I looked away from the floor into his eyes. Hidden behind his hard gaze was concern and it was directed towards me.

“Why does it even matter? You barely know me.” I countered pathetically.

“Because if you’re in some kind of trouble, it’s better to tell someone and contact the authorities…” he tried to explain but I just scoffed, pushing past him. He grabbed at my hand instantly, and I was forced to turn and look at him, my black hair whipping at the sides of my face. My heart quickened. We stood like that for a few seconds before he decided to speak.

“You need to learn to trust people sooner or later, Mikasa.” My name rolled off of his tongue. I stared at his lips, then back at his eyes, which were soft, holding none of their previous sharpness. I took my arm back forcefully, turning from his look.

It almost broke my heart.

The door rang, and standing there was a nervous looking boy in jeans and a red stripped zip-up sweater who was much taller than I. He had dark hair and freckles peppered his cheeks and nose. He rubbed at his head, looking around the store, then at me.

“Is this a bad time?” He asked. I put aside my roiling feelings Levi gave me and went to the boy.

“Nope, it’s fine. What can I do for you?” I asked politely. Behind him, another boy shorter than the first strolled in wearing ripped jeans, a long sleeved shirt and jean jacket. He took his time to observe everything. He had an undercut, the top part was a dirty blond that faded to a dark color on the bottom. His hands were in his pockets.

“So this is where you’re going to be working, Marco? It looks like a hel… shit!” The freckled boy, Marco, shoved his shoulder into him abruptly, causing him to almost fall into one of the bookshelves. Behind me I could feel Levi’s foreboding presence.

“Jean, shut up.” Marco scolded him. Then he turned back to me. “I’m sorry, this is my boyfriend and he was just _leaving_.” He turned his gaze back to Jean and they shared a secret message in their eyes before Jean grumbled out loud.

“Fine, fine. I can see where I’m not wanted.” He turned to leave, but not before he made one thing clear. “Hurt him and I’ll beat both your asses to the ground.” He threatened. Marco’s face flushed and went to go punch the pompous boy, but he dodged it effortlessly and escaped out the door, a mischievous smile on his face.

“I’m really sorry!” Marco bent forward to apologize but I waved my hands.

“No, it’s ok. I think it’s sweet.” I smiled. “Plus, I’m pretty sure Levi here could wipe the floor with him anyway.” I joked, pointing to the ominous man behind me. Marco laughed awkwardly. “I’m actually really glad you’re here.”

I showed him the ropes, telling him that his job would be a combination of stocking the shelves and helping the customers look for stuff. We talked about work hours for him, and since he had college, his hours would have to work around that. It was no problem for me, but he felt bad for already asking for stuff.

“No problem.” I said, handing the kind boy his nametag. He looked to be my age, but for some reason he had an innocent look about him that reminded me of a kid, hence me calling him ‘boy’. “Just go with the flow. I’m pretty laid back. As long as you don’t steal anything, we should be good.” I commented. He smiled in earnest. I swear, the kid could be a saint, he just had that kind of look on him.

“Alright.” He went along to tour around a bit and get used to where everything was, heading upstairs. A brooding Levi was staring directly at me. I directed my gaze away from him when I noticed, then took a peak again. He was still staring.

“What?” I threw my hands up, exasperated. “What did I do now?” Which only earned me an annoyed face from him.

“You are way too lax with the employees. You’re going to let them walk over you.” A customer came in, but I ignored them.

“The kid couldn’t hurt a fly even if he tried.” I stood up for myself and him.

“You don’t know that.” He countered. I puffed out my cheeks, then let the air out in one big rush.

“I’m a good judge of character. Most of the time.” The last bit was added in hastily. I went back to the catalogs in my hands, and the various bills that were beginning to pile up. Here we go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! This one is extra long. For reasons unknown I couldn't stop myself from continuing this chapter. It was so much fun to write! Well, if you liked it, you know what to do. R&R! I love comments!


	6. Explaining

Chapter 6: Explaining

Marco left by five, meeting his boyfriend Jean outside. Jean grabbed him in a headlock outside the shop doors, with Marco haphazardly trying to get out of it. I smiled at them. How cute. Levi proceeded to tell me that if I stared at them the way I was, they would think I was stalking them. I proceeded to tell him that he was being a dick.

There were a few people in the store right now. It was close to nine already. My stomach was starting to bother me a bit. I looked over to find Levi, who was never too far from the desk.

“I’ll be right back.” I told him as I left the front desk to go to the back. I had thrown some pop tarts in my purse before I left the house, and right now those would be really good.

Once I was pretty much at the back of the store I felt a distinct chill crawl up my back, the very same one I felt dozens of times before. I stopped in my track and followed the direction it was coming from. No, oh, please no.

A customer stood there, a frown on his face. He wore dark clothes and was hunched over a book, half his face covered by a shadow. Behind him was the object of my worries.

Standing hunched over him was a Dark One with a purple soul. It had its hand gripping on the kid’s shoulders, whispering cruel, negative words into his ear. I swallowed back the fear. One of them got in here. I knew it was a matter of time.

I looked to see if there were any other customers hanging around before I went over to him. I threw on my best smiling face, looking from the boy to the spirit cackling behind him.

“And how are you today, sir? Did you find everything alright?” I asked politely. He didn’t look up at me immediately, but then he noticed that I was, in fact, talking to him and he almost dropped the book, being startled by my presence.

“Y-yes.” He answered shakily.

“That’s good.” There was no other way to do this nicely. I prepared my mind and its mental walls before I did the unthinkable.

I reached out to touch the boys’ shoulders and grabbed at the dark spirit that had latched itself onto it. I was immediately granted the gift of seeing every horrible act this thing had done before. It was not pretty.

“W-well, y-ou… have a lov-lovely day.” I stuttered from behind my gritting teeth. I turned away from the kid, who seemed seriously confused, and walked away hurriedly into the break room. As soon as the door slammed, I threw the spirit towards the mini fridge.

The hurt gripped at my heart, making me bend forward. The fragments of past events flashed before my closed eyes. A kid jumping off a roof. A man shooting his wife and then himself. A drug addict gunning down a convenience store owner. I swallowed back bile, bringing my hand to my mouth and coughing.

Someone was knocking on the back door. I ignored it.

“You.” It cackled. I opened my eyes. It was staring at me, its eyes long gone and replaced with black, hollowed out holes. “You are special.” I barely caught the distorted words. I stared it down.

“Ya, I get that a lot.” I reached for my bag, producing a small pouch of salt, a vial of rosemary and a small silver coin. I carried these things around just for this. The knocking became more insistent now. I could hear Levi calling my name.

I grabbed a handful of the salt, throwing it at the spirit. It screeched something awful, its mouth agape in an unnatural way. I ignored it, throwing the rosemary as well and grabbing the coin. Now Levi was banging on the door, trying hard to turn the knob, calling for me to open the door.

“I banish you back to where you came from, you bitch!” I yelled as I ran forward, placing the coin atop its black forehead. It screamed even louder than before, a horrible force, almost like wind, trying to throw me back. I wanted desperately to throw my hands out and cover my ears, but I just stayed in my position, fighting back.

“Go back to where you came from already!” I yelled. Like that, it imploded on itself, then shot out in all directions. I was thrown back just as the door was kicked down. I collided into Levi, and we both went tumbling into the ground.

“Oomph.” His hands secured me to him before I fell. I was on top of him now, my eyes closed. That was an awful experience for me, and I let the negative feelings quell inside my mind before I opened my eyes again.

His eyes were wide, like he had seen a ghost. My heart froze for a second. He couldn’t see them. He had no idea what I was doing in that room. There was no way.

“I-I can explain…” I started but he just shook his head.

“Why did you come flying out of that room? How is that even _possible_?” He looked at me to answer. I visibly shrunk in relief. He didn’t see it. That was good.

I put my hands on his chest to roll off of him. He let me. Then I looked up. There were a few customers in the store, and a couple of them were looking at us on the ground. I flushed in embarrassment, coming up with an excuse.

“Seems like that door is broken, right, Levi?” I smiled warily. “We are going to have to call someone to fix it later.” I looked to the ground as I walked by, going back to the counter, all previous hunger forgotten. I looked to the customer in front of me. “Now, will that be all?”

 

Levi didn’t say a single word to me after that. He ghosted around the store for the longest, lost in his own thoughts. I had no idea how to explain any of this to him. By the time it was closing time, the uncomfortable silence was about to crush me. I decided to speak first.

“We had a lot more customers than yesterday.” I noted, trying to seem cheery. “Maybe my store if finally getting some circulation around here.” I organized the front desk and collected all the bills to pay and letters to send off. “Or maybe Saint Marco brought them here.” I joked.

Levi didn’t say anything. Instead he went off to the back, probably to collect his jacket and leave. Something inside me shriveled up. I sighed, then went in after him. I threw my coat on and grabbed my bag and keys, and not looking back, I left the room.

Levi exited the store first, but to my surprise he waited on the sidewalk. His eyes were roiling with some emotion I could not determine. I locked up the store.

“I’ll see you around.” I had only just turned around before he grabbed my wrist and shoved me against the wall. He boxed me in with his arms at either side of my face and he was so close that our breath mixed together. My heart was in my throat as I looked at his eyes, all primal instinct and frustration.

“You’re going to start explaining.” He growled. I just stared at him like a deer in headlights. I knew I couldn’t lie myself out of this one, he would never believe a single word of it even if I tried. I swallowed hard.

“I-I can’t.” I looked away from his eyes to the floor. How could I even try to explain anything to him? To anyone? They would think I was insane. That I needed to be institutionalized.

His warm fingers slipped under my chin and turned my head towards him. The frustration was still there but it had softened some. “You need to try.” He whispered to me. He backed up, giving me air to breathe again. I contemplated my choices for a fraction of a second.

Not tell him. Look like a suicidal women. Have him hate me. Tell him. Look like a psycho. Have him hate me anyway.

What the hell was the point? I grabbed at my hair, cursing at myself, my purse dangling in my hands.

“Fine. But you have to come home with me then.” I stood, determined, before him. He nodded, and he grabbed his briefcase before I led the way to my place.

 

“You want something to drink? Coffee? Tea?” I asked him. He sat at the dining table, briefcase chucked by the door. Ignoring the extreme awkwardness of having him in my apartment, I tried to be the most hospitable as possible.

“Tea is fine.” He said from behind me. I got to work, grabbing my only tea pot and filling it with water before I put it on the stove. Then I set the tea cups on the counter next to the boiling pot. Fear was gnawing at my thoughts.

“It’s your lucky day. You get to choose between chamomile, chai, or peach.” I waited for his answer.

“Chamomile is fine.” Well, at least he had good taste. I took one out for both him and me and placed them in the cup. Then I slowly went to the table and sat down, avoiding his gaze.

“So, what exactly do you want to know?” That was the easiest question for me to ask. He folded his arms, searching for his own.

“What were you running from a few days ago?” He leaned back, waiting for my answer. I bit my lip. Truth, remember. You wanted to tell _the truth_. I sucked in a deep breath.

“It was a ghost. A Dark One.” I let the words tumble from my lips, and then I looked at his steady gaze. He did not show any hesitation.

“A Dark One?”

“Yes. Those are the types of spirits that like to drain a soul or use it for nefarious means. They generally do bad things and cause accidents. They used to be human-most of them, at least- before their pain turns them to something else, something dark and cruel.” I looked down to my finger nails, trying not to have an anxiety attack.

“And the other type is…?” He trailed off, waiting for me to continue.

“The Bright Ones. They are human- most of the time. They mostly just want a message to be sent to a loved one.” I thought back to the man in the laundry room. I hoped the letter got to his wife. He didn’t ask about the other times, when they weren’t human.

“And how about in the park?” He leaned forward now, closer to me, his eyes drinking in every word I said, every move I made. Behind me, the tea pot went off, scaring the shit out of me. I jumped up to get it, turning the burner off. Then I poured the water into the cups and brought them over.

“That was…” I looked at the contents in the cup. “I was running from my past.” Toying with the string dangling precariously on the tea bag, I glanced over at Levi. I could almost see all the questions he had, they were well hidden behind his calculated gaze.

“Listen, I have had to deal with a lot. A shit ton, in fact. I had to change from one city to the other. I had to move my store, move my life. And I’ve had to deal with the dead.” I stormed on. “How do I know you aren’t just going to think I’m some crazy whack job that’s schizophrenic or something?” I turned my own steely eyes on him, measuring his gaze with my own. He took a sip from his still steaming cup.

“Because I believe you.” He set the cup down.

“Because I’m not, you know… wait, what?” I stopped rambling. Did I just hear what I think I heard?

“I believe you.” He repeated calmly. “Who am I to judge what’s out there and what’s not?” My mouth fell open. “In my line of work, I’ve seen some crazy shit. Some of it just can’t be explained by conventional means. So what’s not to say there aren’t, what, spirits roaming around and causing disasters?” He paused. My mouth was still hanging open in disbelief. Someone believed me! Actually believed me!

 He then moved on to the next question. “When did you start noticing them?”

My elation at being believed ended right then and there. That one question was loaded, my mind instantly snapping back to four months ago. I shivered, closing my eyes for a few seconds. _Stop, please stop_ , I remembered my voice crying out. And the pain, the agonizing pain. The fear, the terror, all of it came flooding back.

A warm hand pulled me back to reality. Levi had nudged me a bit and was looking at me sincerely for the first time. I mean, he was truly looking at me.

“Hey, I understand. You don’t have to…” But I shook my head softly.

“No it’s ok. That question is just really loaded.” I smiled softly up at him. And then I proceeded with my tale, the tale of a girl who died.

_It was early November. The trees were almost complexly devoid of leaves at this time, lying in haphazard piles on the side of the road. I was walking around for a bit as I always did. Eren was off in New York City at this time with Armin, so I was off on my own._

_I saw a car in the middle of the road, and a man frantically trying to get something from the back seat. It looked a bit odd now, if I looked back, but at the time I was stupid. I was_ kind _._

_I went over to him. “Sir, do you need help with something?” I asked. His head snapped to me and I flinched. His eyes were beady, his hair a mess. He was sweating, his clothes mucked up in something brown-reddish. I stepped back._

_But it was too late. He had grabbed me already, and before I could scream he grabbed something from the passenger seat- a metal bar, I was told later- and hit me over the head with it, knocking me clean out._

_I woke up a few times before that, only getting a few snippets of my surroundings before falling out again._

_When I really came to, I was thrown in complete darkness and was jostled about. I tried to scream, but my mouth was duck taped. I cried and cried, the fear gripping me, making me panic._

_I was kidnapped. I was kidnapped in my own neighborhood, in a place I trusted for years. I would never see Eren again, never see Armin go to MIT or Eren solve some case he was hell-bent on closing._

_The car stopped. I screamed and thrashed about, the rope tying my wrists burning my skin. The trunk opened and the man grabbed me by my hair and threw me out. I crashed onto the gravely floor._

_“You stupid bitch.” He spat. He kicked me in the ribs. “I was going to leave. I was going to be done with everything and you just,” kick, “had to,” stomp, “come up to me!” he slammed down on my chest and the wind was knocked out of me. I curled in on myself on the floor, the dirt coming up into my eyes and stinging the wounds I already had on my head and wrists._

_He turned me over and cut my legs free, but when I thrashed, he slapped me in the face hard._

_“Stop moving, you bitch!” All I could see was stars now. I was so dizzy. My shoes were pulled roughly off my feet and I heard the ripping of fabric before realizing what was happening._

_His tongue came up and licked at the hollow of my throat hungrily. It was disgusting, the feeling absolutely repulsed me. I wanted to throw up, but all I could to was turn my head away from him and shriek, the tears already hot on my face._

_“I like it when they squirm,” He laughed in his deep voice, turning my face so I looked directly into his psychotic eyes. I screamed a little louder, but when his hand came up again, I flinched away. He laughed. “See, you learn quick!” He reached behind me to undo my hands next._

_In that moment I did the only thing I could think of. In a matter of seconds I had my leg positioned to hit him hard in the groin. I slammed up with as much force as I could, then I brought my fisted hands to slam into the back of his skull. He lurched forward. This was my only chance!_

_I threw him away from me as quick as I could and rolled away from him into a puddle before he could grab at me. He was still a cursing mess behind me as he pissed himself, but I didn’t care to see more. I ran for all I was worth into the darkness, ripping at the tape on my mouth._

_“Somebody help me!” I screamed desperately into the night air. My own voice echoed back to me, hoarse. I was alone here. Alone to die._

_My hair was dirty and matted with water and mud. My legs throbbed and ached all over. I willed myself to go on, to continue. If I stopped, I would die. I knew that._

_My ankle buckled underneath me on an uneven patch of concrete and I smashed onto the floor. Something bit into my hands, going underneath my fingernails. I screamed out, my legs being embedded with the shards of glass. Blood welled up into them but I bit the pain back and stood up, the bottoms of my feet not taking the white hot pain._

_I scrambled forward to what looked like an abandoned warehouse in front of me, my feet stepping hard onto the glass. I shrieked out in pain, the broken shards digging further into my palms and my legs, scraping my thighs. I looked down and tried not to faint._

_A large piece had lodged itself into my right thigh. The world started to spin, but I pushed it away._

_“Mikasa!” He yelled behind me. He knew my name._ He knew my name _. Fear gripped my chest like a snake. I bolted forward. He was coming close. He was going to get me! I’m going to die! I willed myself to go on._

_“Stop, please stop.” I whispered in defeat. Then I screamed a bit louder. “Stop!”_

_I ran passed the building and came across a patch of woods, wasting no time to figure out if I should go in or try to find some other path. I could hear him getting closer now._

_Trees lashed out at me but I didn’t care. One thing, one thing. Survival. I must survive this. I couldn’t die here, not now._

_I seemed to go on forever, running, tripping, stumbling in the darkness. I lost the sound of him following me but I couldn’t trust if. I zig-zagged onwards until I couldn’t run anymore, until I slammed to the ground, the tears and dried blood mixing together on my face._

_I looked to the glass causing searing pain. I grabbed at it and cried some more, pulling it out and screaming. I threw it away from my body. It shattered against a tree into a million pieces._

_I lay there, crying, until I could no longer feel anything anymore. A piece of me was torn apart, ripped free of my own soul and left in that woods that day._

_“Mik…” My eyes peeled open, but what I saw was hazy. “Mikasa, I got you. I got you.” The person sounded so far away from me. I directed my eyes to someone that looked a lot like Eren. He looked to me and that one gaze could shrivel a tree. He was so concerned, so sick with worry. His face was haggard and he looked defeated, like he had failed at something. “Shit… shit!” He cursed at himself._

_I was cold. So cold. And then I was dragged under._

“The doctors said I was pronounced clinically dead for a minute. But for some reason I came back. I don’t know why. I don’t know how.” I put my tea to my lips before realizing there was nothing in it. I finally looked up to Levi after telling the story.

His hair was a mess and his eyes were blank. I couldn’t tell if that was from the story or if he was thinking of something else.

“When I came to, it was a week later. Eren had been there the entire time and apparently punched a doctor in the face when they told him he couldn’t come into the operating room that day.” I smiled bitterly. “Armin came to the hospital as fast as he could, and I heard Sasha, Connie, Krista and even Ymir visited me in the E.R.” I bit my bottom lip again hard enough to draw blood. It was hard to concentrate.

“But they caught the guy.” Levi said as more of a statement. It was the first words he had spoken in a while.

“Ya, actually, they did. Eren threatened every police officer in the county. But he didn’t need to. The guy was admitted into the hospital with a case of a severely injured nut sack.” The cops put two and two together and arrested the man. He was forty three and it turned out he had a record of sexual harassment and drugs.

“You can bet your ass that Eren got to him quickly. He nearly beat the guy to death. Thank God they had a huge guy to hold him back.” I held back the sad laughter that threatened to bubble up.

“Good. I couldn’t even imagine the things I would do to someone like that.” And he was serious. His eyes boiled with a contained rage, a craze I could only determine as bloodthirsty.

“It took me three and a half months, four blood transfusions, and a crap load of some strong pain killers to fully recover.” I didn’t want to remember the sucky ass cast on my sprained ankle or the various bandages making me look lumpy in the clothes I wore.

Levi leaned back in the chair. I looked back on my story, remembering that I forgot a key part.

“And that’s when I started seeing them. At first I thought it was a trick of the eye or the lighting. But then I noticed they were saying words, that they cried or laughed. And when I touched one…” I shivered in my seat. “I would feel their past being thrown into me, or being shared with me. All the misery, all the hate, all the pain. I could see, and feel, it all.” Levi shifted in his seat.

“But I also found out that I could help them move on. And that’s what I do. For the Bright Ones. The Dark Ones are a totally different matter completely.” I stood up, grabbing at the cups. Levi sat there, taking in my story while I went to the sink and began cleaning them.

I couldn’t decide if he thought I was insane. He just looked at me. He listened. And he just sat there.

A chair was pushed back behind me, and I heard him come up behind me. He leaned against the cabinet near the stove with his arms crossed, staring at the ceiling.

“So a near death experience is the trigger.” He was putting the pieces together. “And there are two types of spirits. The Bright Ones and the Dark Ones?” He turned to me to validate it, and I gave a small nod. Then I reached over him to grab the tea pot. He has a hard core, leading me to believe that underneath his shirt was some well-defined abs. I tried not to drool.

“Those are simple enough names. What do the Dark Ones want?” That was a question I had been asking myself for a long time. I finished off the pot and tried my hands, mocking Levi’s stance.

“Beats me. The only thing they seem to want is to harass me and cause misery.” Although, in recent cases they have been calling out for me. He nodded rhythmically. We stood there for a few minutes and I listened to the sounds of the city for a while. Someone upstairs was banging around and outside I heard the wailing of an ambulance.

“So was that what was going on earlier today? You were, what, dealing with a Dark One?”

“Yup. I banished it. It was clinging to someone in the store so I had to get rid of it.” I thought back to its distorted figure and its choice few words before I banished its ass to wherever it came from. “And when you opened the door, you actually might have saved my life because I would have gone flying head first into the door instead of, well, you.” I looked over to him. He looked at me almost mischievously, and I could have sworn he did not have that sly smile on his lips.

“So I saved Miss Supernatural Psychic, huh.” He joked. “I always dreamed of doing that.” I smashed into his shoulder and stepped away from him. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, ignoring that I had a missed call from Eren ,to read the time.

“It’s twelve o’clock already.” I said unenthusiastically. Then I put my hand on my hip. “Now are you going to leave or do you want to turn this into a sleepover?” I questioned him sarcastically.

He pushed off of the counter and sauntered up to me. His eyes were smoky as he slowly looked me over from head to toe. He stopped just before me, bending down to me in the slightest.

“Do you want to make it a sleepover?” He asked huskily. I held my breath, my heart thumping loudly. Then I noticed that he was just playing around, and I pushed him away. He laughed, and it was the first time I heard him do such a thing. It was beautiful. “I’ll leave.” He managed to get out.

“So you can laugh. I’m so surprised. After working with you for, what, four day now, I thought you just had a permanent scowl on your face.” He went on collecting his stuff, slipping on his coat. I looked at his briefcase. “What’s in that thing, anyway?” I asked casually. I mean, I had to spill my beans. It was only fair he gave me something in return.

He looked down at it. “It’s the case I had been working on that got my fiancé killed. These are all the files and paperwork. I have a photo of her in here too, of the day she was shot and a day we were in Central Park together. There’s also a picture of the murderer.” When he looked up at me all traces of our previous conversation were gone. His eyes went back to being steely. “And a gun.” He added objectively.

Well, at least I wasn’t the only one with some serious baggage to carry. I sighed.

“Well that’s not depressing.” I lead him to the front door, opening it and watching him step out. “Word of advice, stop carrying that around with you. That’s some serious dark stuff there.” I said earnestly.

“Word of advice, stop scaring the people in your store. People are going to start thinking it’s haunted.” He waved to me before disappearing into the stairwell.

“It’s not my fault!” I shouted before the door closed. I wonder if he heard me. I closed my door and went to sleep, not bothering to shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel awful! I actually was going to post this chappie yesterday, but as I was nearing it's end the power went out in my neighborhood! I hate my street! Anyway, here you go! This may- or may not- clear up some stuff for the story. If you liked it, leave a comment! Thank you for continuing to read this fic!


	7. Beginning

Chapter 7: Beginning

 

I went for a run again early in the morning. Instead of cloudy weather, it was sunny, although still a bit chilly. Yesterday’s feelings of running from my past were gone now, replaced with a quiet pleasantness.

I finally spilled the beans. I told someone everything, what I saw, what happened to me. And they didn’t think I was crazy- or was just good at hiding it. I ran at a regular pace this time, enjoying the crisp air and the view. It felt like a new beginning.

When I got home, I was a mess, and I promptly took a shower. Then, wrapped in only a towel, I headed to the kitchen to make myself an omelet. When it was complete, cheesy goodness and all, and I was putting a forkful of it in my mouth my phone went off. I frowned, mumbling to myself as I grabbed my towel and hunted the blaring thing down.

“What now?” I asked angrily. “I was just eating breakfast.” I walked back over to the kitchen.

“I’m coming over today.” It was Eren, and he sounded quite serious right now. In the background I heard the faint sound of a telephone ringing and people talking. He must be at work right now.

“And who says you are?” I raised an eyebrow incredulously. “I never invited you.”

“Who says I need to be invited?” He countered. Someone yelled at him to get off the phone and he hung up abruptly on me. I took the phone away from my ear and stared at it before hanging up too.

I finished off the omelet and went to my room, this time taking care to blow dry my hair. It was naturally straight, and my hair was pretty short anyway, coming just below my chin. I styled my bangs the way I liked them, with a few pieces coming down between my eyes. Then I ghosted some eyeliner under my grey eyes to make them pop. I hadn’t done that in a long time, I noted morosely.

I threw on black skinny jeans, a random band t-shirt- courtesy of Ymir one Christmas- and my black leather jacket I hadn’t touched for months. I grabbed my black studded boots and my black Coach shoulder bag and stuffed my keys in my bag before leaving. I felt like dressing up a bit differently anyway.

An older lady with messy grey hair was coming out of the elevator, and I smiled politely. “Guess they got that fixed now.” I commented, waving at her.

“It’s about time, deary. Those stairs were just killing me.” She motioned to her back, a paper bag in her other arm. “Have a nice day, child.” She called after me.

“You too!” I said before I took the stairwell. I had been doing it this long, anyway. Why not keep on. It was good exercise.

I took two at a time, having to go down six flights. When I neared the corner for the third one, I felt the familiar cold spot. _Not again_ , I thought. But it was not the conventional spirit this time.

Remember when I said Bright Ones were _mostly_ human? Well, there were cases when they weren’t, and I just so happened to run into such a case.

Roaming around, bumping into the walls and rubbing against the corner was a ghost cat. It had an orange soul, bright and pretty cheery. It was of medium size and looked to once be black furred with an almost oriental appearance. I knelt before it and it went right up to my hand.

“Hey there, little kitty.” I pet its fur gently. Why did I let the cat touch me when I knew negative feeling would no doubt be shared between us? Well, when I dealt with animals in the past, their memories were so fragmented that my mind processed them in a completely different way than when it did with human memories and feelings. I liked dealing with animals a lot better because of it.

I only caught flickers of their feelings from before they died- hunger, sickness, an accident, old age- instead of the emotional roller coaster humans put me on. I could only assume that because their brains were not like humans that those feeling did not naturally stay with them in the afterlife.

This cat in particular just wanted to be scratched behind the ears. I gave it just that, noticing it had a collar.

“So you have a name.” I reached over to read the script on the once-red collar that had a bell attached. It read ‘Jasper’ in clear letters but otherwise had no other tags, or an address. The cat mewled.

“So you’re a boy, little kitty.” It nudged at my hand, forcing me to pet it. I smiled softly. “You should probably cross over. I hear there’s a lot of catnip on the other side.” I joked around. It walked away from me, disappearing behind a wall. Looks like he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. I stood up, heading outside.

I opened up the door to a cool breeze. The wind was picking up, leading me to believe that some type of storm was approaching. I turned myself to start the walk to my store when I noticed a man leaning against the wall, his hands in his pants, taking a drag from a cigarette. He wore dark blue jeans and a long black jacket, a scarf tucked effortlessly around him.

It was Levi.

“What are you _doing_ here?” I stared at him wide-eyed. He looked at me, took one more drag, and flicked the cigarette to the floor, stomping it out underneath black Timberland’s. His eyes trailed down my body, drinking in my outfit, my hair, my face. I didn’t know what to do but stand there, a blush creeping in my cheeks at his thorough gaze.

“I’ve decided to escort you around.” He sauntered over to me casually. I blinked up at him. “It’s a safety precaution of course. Ready to go?” He asked, gazing into my eyes. I stared up at him, at a loss for words for a few seconds.

“Y-ya, sure.” I stuttered, taken aback by the gesture. One thing was missing, of course. “But aren’t you missing the briefcase?” His hands were no longer carrying around the black object. Instead he had on a pair of grey knitted gloves. His lips curled up in the slightest of smiles.

“Funny how that works, huh?” He looked at me quickly. I punched him lightly.

“So you took my advice!” I joked around. “Wow, aren’t you adorable.” I meant that as a joke, but when he turned to me, his face held something serious in it. I looked away quickly, changing the subject. “So the heating guy is coming today, right?” We stopped at a red no-crossing sign, watching the cars zip by.

“Ya, around three if I’m not mistaken.” He answered. We began walking again, the crowd zipping past the two of us. “We can finally get that crappy room heated.” We reached the store.

“That’s my crappy room, you know.” I reminded him. “And you hurt its feelings.” Levi produced his own key- gifted to him by Eren, I was told- and unlocked the door, flicking the lights on. It was warm and familiar and smelled of old pages and ink. I loved it. Levi looked at me, smiling sinisterly.

“You know, maybe we should get an air freshener and get the stink out of here.” He moved out of the way of me trying to shove him with a laugh, heading to the back room. I pouted, turning the sign to ‘Open’. The day was just beginning.

*****

The morning went by pretty slowly. I let Levi leave to grab his lunch before me, manning the place on my own. When no customers showed up for a bit, I decided to call Bertolt back about the job and explained to him the same things I told Marco.

“No, it’s really ok. You don’t need an interview.” I repeated to him. He was worse than Marco, all nervousness on the phone.

“O-ok. I-I guess that’s fine.” He spoke into the phone. “So when can I start?”

“Whenever you want. I don’t really care about that either.” I told him the hours the store opened and closed, and that Sunday’s we were going to close early. The hours were open for him to come in whenever pretty much. And the pay was minimum wage, but he didn’t really care.

“So I-I guess I-I’ll come in tomorrow?” It was a question. I nodded, but then remembered he couldn’t see me.

“Sure, sure. That sounds good to me. See you then!” We said goodbye and I hung up. I don’t know how he was going to be able to handle customers, but I sure hoped it was going to work out. Was I really too laid back with this process? I shoved the thought aside.

I leaned over the front desk, grabbing a pen and messing around with the countertop, tracing random designs, lost in thought. I had never imagined myself in the city. I always thought I was going to be a country girl. But my, how things change. I blew out a puff of air.

A book slammed to the ground, startling me. I dropped the pen and looked up, unaware that we had a customer, but when I looked around, nothing was there. I bit my lip, deciding to investigate.

“Um, hello?” I called out to no one. I looked behind the shelf, and standing there was Bright One.

“You can see me?” It asked, eyes wide. I sighed, relieved that that was all it was.

“Ya, I can-“ I froze mid-sentence. Behind him, more of them popped up, multiplying in a way I had never seen before.

“You can see.” One of them whispered.

“You can see us!” A woman shrieked.

“Please help.” They stepped closer to me.

“Help us!” I took a step back.

“Help us now!” They swarmed me, surrounding me in seconds, hands ready to touch me.

“No, no, don’t!” I shouted back, having nowhere to go.

“Mikasa.” Steely hands touched my shoulder and I jolted away. Levi stood behind me, looking out at the sea of them, clearly confused. I turned back in fear, but they were gone. I was breathing heavily. “What? What did you see?” He asked as I turned to him, calming myself down.

“I don’t know. I’ve never had that happen before.” I told him honestly. He searched my eyes for a second before gently pulling me to move with him, away from the shelves that were once teeming with spirits.

“Why don’t you take a break and grab something to eat. I’ll stay here and watch the place.” He offered. I nodded slowly before collecting my things and heading out for fresh air.

 

The heating guy, named Reiner Braun, showed up a little late, explaining that he had wrestled some pretty wicked pipes moments before. I didn’t mind, and he immediately got to work. He was blond with a thick, well-muscled build, and tall.

“It’s actually pretty funny.” He explained to me while I showed him to the old heating room and boiler through the break room. “My boyfriend told me today that he got a job here.” He put his tools down and started examining everything.

“Bertolt?” I asked, my eyebrows raised. He looked at me for a quick second.

“Yup, that’s the one. A tall bucket of nervousness and heart-warming sincerity.” He tapped on something connected to the boiler, then started crawling behind it. I shivered. That was a gross job.

“Ya, I gave him the job. But I hope he warms up soon. He was so panicky on the phone.” I recalled. Reiner was struggling with something, so I decided that was my cue to leave. “Just call if you need anything.” I stepped away. He gave me a grunt in response, fighting with something. I went back to the front.

 

Marco showed up around five, letting me take an hour break for a bit. Reiner was now checking on things and making sure everything was working properly upstairs. I met up with Levi in the break room nearing the end of his break. He was sipping on what I assumed to be tea.

“You really like that stuff.” I pulled out a chair a slumped into it, resting my head on my arms and enjoying the darkness I created.

“Maybe you need a cup too.” He put the cup down. “Still bugged about what happened?” He asked me. I looked up at him lazily.

“Is it that noticeable?” I groaned, resting my chin on my open palm. “It’s just that I’ve never had that happen before. Ever. And I’m new to this stuff, don’t get me wrong, but that was just… weird.” My mind went back to the spirits.

I had never seen spirits multiply like the way they did. They all wanted me to help them, and I would have, but in their persistence they got hasty and tried to grab for me. If that had been allowed to happen I don’t know what would have happened to me. That many memories and emotions flooding into me could have killed me. Or I could have become a vegetable, forever caught in their raging misery and regret.

“For some reason they hadn’t been coming to this store often. The only one that slipped in was a Dark One, and I’m almost positive it had something to do with the fact that it was so latched onto that kid.” I pursed my lips, thinking.

“What’s been keeping them away from the store this long?” I could see he was trying to put the pieces together, just like he did when I talked to him before. I shook my head before I realized one key factor I had forgotten.

When I first came into the store, he had been in here cleaning and there were no spirits floating around that time.

When we had dinner together, they stayed clear of us. Although they didn’t completely repel from us, they just walked further away than usual.

And just today, when he came back from his lunch break and touched my arm, they vanished like they were never there.

So was I right originally? Was he the one keeping them away? Could he really be some kind of spirit warder? I looked down at my hands, recalling everything over again.

“Mikasa, what are you thinking.” I knew he could see that I was coming up with a conclusion, but I didn’t know if I was even remotely correct in assuming he was the cause of the spirits not being in the store.

“Nothing really. Just thinking about the spirits that swarmed me.” I lied. I felt like he caught my fib, but then he didn’t call me out on it, instead getting up and pushing the chair in.

“Let me go help the kid.” He said before turning and leaving. I frowned, angry at myself for lying to a good friend- at least that’s how I saw it. I smashed my head down on the table, ignoring the dull thud. The door opened and I looked up, hoping it was Levi. But it wasn’t.

“Looks like I fixed everything.” He was cleaning his hands off on a dirty rag. His eyes went to my forehead for a quick second but he decided not to comment. “But man, this place had some serious piping. Almost everything in here is copper.” He told me. I stared at him. Was that a good thing? “That stuff is pretty expensive nowadays.” He answered my unasked question.

“Ah. So what’s the verdict?” I grabbed my wallet, producing the neatly tucked away bills. He put his hand on his head, scratching his hair.

“Actually, I’m gonna give you a discount, seeing as how Bertolt is going to be working here.” I raised my eyebrows at him but didn’t question it, deciding that luck just might be on my side today. The price was relatively low for two and a half hours of work, and I made sure to tip him good even though he tried to turn me down. He left with a gracious “Thanks,” and I stayed in the break room, moping to myself.

 

“I’m going to head out.” Marco pointed to the door where his boyfriend was waiting for him.

“Is he going to pick you up every day?” I asked curiously, not trying to pry at all. He put on a disarming smile.

“No, he’s just doing this until the end of the week, actually. He should stop by Monday.” He sent a quick wave to Jean outside, who sent him a look that said ‘Get out here, already, it’s fucking cold!’ as Marco started turning to leave. “See you Sunday.” I looked behind me quickly. Levi was off somewhere else for the moment.

I grabbed Marco’s hands to stop him hurriedly. He turned to me, surprised that I reached out for him.

“Listen, I was wondering something really stupid.” I said in a hushed tone, trying my hardest not to be heard by anyone else. “Can you just tell me the worst place around here that’s seen the most dead bodies or death?” I rushed on, hoping that he didn’t think I was completely nuts.

He looked at me, shocked at my abnormal question. “I know it’s stupid but I really need to know.” I looked outside to his boyfriend, who was now shooting me daggers. I let go of Marco, putting my hands up in a disarming gesture. He calmed down outside, but Marco just stared at me, thinking a bit. His eyes lit up as if finding the answer.

“You could try a hospital.” He put a finger to his mouth, thinking. “But any other place might be really dangerous, especially at night. I don’t think it would be good for you to go there.” He looked at me, a little worried now. “What are you…?” I cut him off.

“Thank you so much!” Now I was shooing him away, my hand on his back. He moved to the door. “I really appreciate it. See you tomorrow!” I smiled, opening the door for him. He stepped out awkwardly.

“Wait, but I-” I slammed the door closed, turning around so I didn’t have to look at his adorable face- or his angry boyfriend’s.

I felt incredibly stupid for not thinking of a hospital. That would be a very logical place to start, and I needed a swarm of them to help me prove my theory. I walked away from the door to the break room.

“What did you do to the newbie?” Levi came out of nowhere from the back, a thick book with dark brown binding poised in his arms. I jumped, putting my hand to my heart.

“Why do you have to keep popping out of nowhere like that?!” I shot him daggers, continuing to the break room. He followed close behind me. “I didn’t do anything. I was just telling him how good of a job he’s been doing. What are you doing with that book?” I kept my eyes away from his probing gaze, feigning curiousness in the book he held.

“I’m borrowing them.” He put the books down and grabbed for his coat as well. I zipped mine up and threw my purse over my shoulder, grabbing my keys.

“Really now.” I crossed my arms. “And who gave you permission to take my books without purchasing them? This isn’t a library.” I scolded him. He shrugged it off.

“I’ll return them here perfectly clean, the way I took them.” He promised. I didn’t doubt it. If anything, they would come back even cleaner than before.

I took a quick glance to see if he was ready to leave with me before exiting. I switched the lights off and locked the doors.

“Listen, there’s something I want to try.” I busted out nervously when I turned to him.

“It’s about time you start talking. I was waiting for you to crack.” He grabbed something from his pocket- a pack of Marlboro’s and a lighter. He lit the cigarette, taking a drag. I bunched my nose.

“Since when did you start smoking?” I fanned the smoke away from me. “That’s a nasty habit.”

“One to talk. You have a few nasty habits of your own.” Point taken. “Keep talking.” I frowned at him.

“There’s this theory I want to try,” he looked as if he wanted to ask me what theory, “but I’m not going to tell you just yet.” I managed to say before he started talking. He took another drag, letting it out in frustration. He used his other hand to comb through his hair.

“So what, I’m just expected to tag along like a good little puppy?” I flinched at the harshness in his voice. He took in my reaction. “Wait, no, I’m sorry…”

“No, no, it’s ok.” I tried to force a smile. “I totally get it. You really don’t have to do anything. You don’t owe me anything either.” My voice sounded small, even to my own ears. I turned around, away from his pained expression. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I moved to walk away from him.

I heard him curse behind me and stomp something out- the cigarette, probably- and then he grabbed for me, forcing me to stop.

“Will you just wait a second, woman?” He sounded exasperated. “Listen, I’d rather accompany you on some crazy mission of yours then wind up finding out you got yourself killed.” He put his hands in his pockets. “So what do you want to do exactly?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my! I've reached more than 100 hits! I'm so surprised! I've been working really hard to let this story go on, and it is just going with a mind of it's own. Thank you, all of you, so much for reading this and sticking along with it! Liked this chapter? Leave me a comment!


	8. Trying

Chapter 8: Trying

 

Levi insisted on walking me home even after I explained my very confusing plan to him. The whole way through, I repeated that he didn’t have to, but he insisted, saying that nothing I said would make him change his mind.

When I stepped into my apartment, Eren was sitting on the floor. His striking green eyes looked right at me as I walked over. He stood, and I noticed two things. One, he had a plastic bag in his hands. And two, the black cat was rubbing against him. My eyes widened automatically, but I dragged them away from the ghost kitty.

“Where were you? On a date?” He asked, meeting me halfway in the hall. I shoved him a little into the wall.

“No, I wasn’t on a date.” I grumbled, looking at the cat that was waiting by my door. “What’s with the bag?” I asked, unlocking the apartment. The cat went right in, even though in all honesty it didn’t even have to wait for me to open the door.

“Shit!” I tried to make a lunge for it, but forgot that Eren was there, and immediately made it look like I was falling over the foyer.

“Are you ok?” He looked at me like I was insane and not normal. I giggled nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

“Ya, ya. I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.” I tried to wave it off, glaring at the cat for a second. It just meowed and perched itself on my couch, and I could have sworn it was enjoying this.

“So…” He trailed off. “This is Pocky, by the way.” I immediately stopped walking to my kitchen. I turned back, grabbed the bag, and practically ripped it open, grabbing a pack of the delicious chocolate and strawberry dessert. “Ya, and I even found the banana flavored one. It took me a whole day and many angry Asian people before I got a hold on it.”

I gave him a big hug, ignoring his awful commentary and popped open the box, munching on one of them. I needed these so bad right now.

“Why did you want to come here so bad?” I threw myself sideways on the couch unoccupied by the cat, letting my legs dangle off the side while I grabbed another Pocky stick. Eren looked like he was going to sit next to me. “Don’t sit there.” I said in all seriousness. He glared at me but listened, choosing the recliner instead.

No way was I in the mood to watch a cat poking out of my brother’s crotch. Ugh….

“I should ask you that. You’re the one that wanted to know about Levi.” He immediately grabbed the controller, flicking through channels and pushing the recliner back. “I don’t know why though. The guy is pretty to himself. There isn’t much I can tell you.” I ignored him and leaned forward a little.

“Ok, so you just let him work in my shop without my permission and expect me not to give you the third degree?” His eyes only flicked to me for a second before feigning interest on the screen again. I chose to flick a pillow at his head instead.

“Shit, fine, fine, I’m sorry!” He put his hands up just as I was about to throw the other one. “Do you know just how hard you throw those things? You’re gonna take my head off!” He rubbed his head where I hit him the first time.

“Good, now we can get somewhere. Spill the beans. About Levi, of course.” I put the pillow down and noticed the cat was no longer on the sofa. It had jumped onto my coffee table now, rubbing the corners.

“I don’t know, Mikasa! Back when he still worked for us, he was really good at his job. Like, unnaturally so. He took down more criminals than I could file in a day, and he made sure they stayed down. He didn’t talk much about his personal life, but he did say he had a fiancé, and that was the only time he showed emotion, unless he was beating me up in the training room. That guy had a pretty nice uppercut.” He seemed to remember the pain and his hand instinctively went to his jaw.

“Ok, so here is a tougher question. What case was he working on that got his wife killed?” No use in trying to skim around it. This was the question I was most concerned with. Eren tried to gouge out the reason behind my question, but finding nothing, he just sighed.

“Why don’t you just ask him yourself? You’ve been working with the guy for a week now.” He inquired. He made it seem like that was so long.

“You owe me this much, Eren.” I crossed my arms over my chest. He took one look at me and knew he wasn’t getting out of this.

“If you tell anyone I told you this, I will deny everything.” He sighed. “It was a stupid case. We had no idea that…” He stopped looking at the TV and turned to me. “We got a hit on a Drug Lord in the area. It was definitely top priority for the city. He took the case and started off small, finding and bringing the street sellers in first, then the dealers. He was trying to cut off the bastard’s resources.

“One of the guys, he was a real smooth talker.” Eren’s eyes flashed with repressed anger. “He got out of going to jail. We couldn’t hold him. He must have informed the big guys because the next thing we knew, we were rushing over to Levi’s house, and there was so much blood.” His eyes looked far away for a second before snapping back. “And the look on his eyes. He was defeated. That was his fiancé, Mikasa.

“When that happened, he became colder, harder. He was hell-bent on finding the Drug Lord. He wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t eat. It affected his work. The Chief, Erwin told him to take it easy, and then one day Levi quit. No one except Erwin’s heard from him, and even then it wasn’t frequent. It was hard for him.” Eren finished explaining to me.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stayed quiet. Deep down I knew it would have been better to ask Levi myself about all this stuff but I was afraid that he would give me half-truths and skit around it. Knowing the truth doesn’t change its cruel reality though, or the fact that he had everything taken from him.

I put the Pocky down on the table. The cat seemed to detect something in me and came up to me, head butting me and jumping onto the couch again beside me. He curled up by my side and mewled.

“I didn’t know…” I looked down at my hands.

“Ya, probably because you weren’t supposed to.” Eren grumbled, returning back to the TV. I felt really guilty right about now. Was it wrong of me to ask Eren about what happened? Should I really just have gone to Levi and asked directly? I bit my lip.

“Thank you.” I said solemnly, heading to the kitchen. Maybe food would make me think a little better. I grabbed the chicken I had defrosting in there and took out the fryer, taking my time to bread it before throwing it in the fryer.

“Are you making fried food?” Eren walked into the kitchen, eyes ecstatic. “Fried food!” He fist pumped in the air. I smiled and went back to cooking. After the chicken was done, I threw it on a plate, grabbed some hot sauce and let him at it.

“If you don’t save me any, I’ll beat you into next week.” I called over my shoulder while I made the fries. They didn’t take long, and after they were done Eren and I enjoyed the food on the table, talking about random things- his new case, my new employees.

“So you know,” he licked his fingers of ketchup, “your birthday is coming up, right?” I froze mid-fry and turned to him. I had completely forgotten. “Ya, it’s next week. Tuesday.”

“Oh.”

“See, it’s just like you to forget something that important.” He stood up, throwing his plates in the sink. Then he stretched. “I should probably get going anyway. It’s pretty late and Armin is by himself.” He started walking towards the door. I stood up to walk him out. He turned to me quickly before closing the door.

“Listen. Try to be nice to the guy. He’s been through a lot. Like you.” He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more but stopped himself. “Be careful, alright.” He went to the elevator, hoping on.

“I’ll try.” I closed my door.

When I went back in, the cat was nowhere to be found. I assumed it had run off to someplace else and shrugged, turning off the TV and the lights. Then I went to my room, grabbed my fluffy pajamas and crawled into the bed. Tomorrow was going to be rough as it was.

 

After hitting the gym a couple of blocks away, I went home, showered, got dressed and left to work. I was glad Levi wasn’t there this time, but curious as to why he didn’t come. Sasha had called, saying that she needed to take a rain check on our plans for tonight. Connie was sick or something. I text her back, saying that that was fine. I needed the night to test something out anyway.

On the walk to the store after I came out of Starbucks- I needed my coffee! - I came across a few more spirits than what were there before. I gazed around carefully. Then I thought for a second. Things like this happen on only a few occasions. One was Halloween. They just loved the day. It was almost like a calling for them to get riled up and cause mischief.

The only other possible scenario was a full moon. I peeked curiously at the sky, although I knew I wouldn’t see it. Of course I was right. The only things there were airplanes and skyscrapers. I sighed. I could check it out later.

I entered my store. Levi was already there apparently because the lights were on and the door was closed, but he was nowhere to be found. _He must be in the back,_ I told myself, unraveling my scarf as I walked there. When I entered the break room he was elbow deep in some papers with the book he took yesterday opened halfway. I raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he was doing. He didn’t even look up at me.

“I’m surprised you weren’t at my apartment building this morning.” I said with a smile. He still didn’t look up at me. “What are you doing with all that stuff?” I asked with a laugh, putting my jacket up and collecting more paperwork from my purse. He grunted as his only response, so I decided to just leave him there. Before I could leave the room, he called out to me.

“Wait, what do you use to repel the Dark Ones?” He asked in all seriousness, like a college student asking a Professor a question. I squinted my eyes in confusion and turned around.

“What?” I walked over to the papers he had scribbled on, leaning over trying to read it. He was taking notes on the paranormal, seeming to study up on facts and myths. I widened my eyes at him, completely surprised that he had even decided to attempt to study up on the topic, yet take notes. He just looked at me as I read, occasionally glancing down at his notes.

“I’ve been looking into the topic a bit.” He tried to justify. I leaned away from him, my hand on the table.

“You really don’t have to, you know. This stuff is crazy enough as it is. I’m surprised you even believed me.” I told him honestly, no hint of a joke in my voice whatsoever. He just looked into my eyes, seeming to pick out just how much this meant to me.

“It’s something I want to do though.” He confided. I could have sworn I sensed a double meaning, but I pushed it aside. I bit my lip. If he was trying this hard then I minus well give the man what he wanted.

“Well, I generally like to stick to salt. Salt is the most important. They had that stuff.” He scribbled something down as I talked, and I felt almost weird that I was sharing this information with him. “I also use silver, rosemary, and occasionally iron.” I puffed out my cheeks, thinking.

He glanced up at me while I thought, and I guess my face must have looked weird because he cracked a smile. I let the air blow out quickly, embarrassed.

“Um,” I shrugged, my thoughts turning into a fluster at his gaze. “That’s all I can think off. Besides running.” I added quickly.

“Thanks.” He got up, closing the book and arranging the papers in a pile. “It’s always better to get the facts from the actual source.” He smiled and I was taken aback by the beauty. I could hear my pulse rushing in my ears. He was gorgeous.

I turned away from him, needing to cut the pure feelings that were rising. “Y-ya. Anytime.” I said, leaving the break room. I went to the front, turning the sign, letting my heart return to a normal pace.

 

“So if you have any questions, I’m here and so is Levi, ok?” I told Bertolt quickly. The store was starting to get crowded. It was early afternoon and the sun was just starting to heat up the air outside as well as inside.

Bertolt looked around nervously. I felt a little bad, seeing as how he was nervous, but I couldn’t take the time to ease him into it. The front desk was starting to get backed up. Marco would have been better at showing him the ropes. The two sweethearts would have probably hit it off.

He ran off to the other side of the room, where a desk filled with catalogs and a computer was lying. He would be manning that station for a while, helping people find things. It might be a little tough at first but I was confident he’d get the hang of things.

Levi decided to work the register next to me, and hearing him act politely was hilarious. I had to stop myself from cracking up and keeling over when a little lady expressed how hot he was. He tried to ignore it, but she kept on, all the while he grinned and beard it.

“Hello, how are you today…” I trailed off after taking a book from a female customer. All the hairs on my arms stood up on my arms. I could almost feel a cold breath on my face.

I could not immediately see anything, but I knew something was there. I knew it. I let my eyes trail her body quickly, looking for any signs of a spirit that latched onto here but got nothing. She shot daggers at me.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, rolling her eyes. I flinched back. There was something wrong with her. But I couldn’t see it. Then she leaned closer to me, too close. Her mouth contorted into a sneer, and her eyes were no longer human. “You know, we’ve been watching you for a while.” She whispered coldly. Terror seized my mind. Her voice was grotesque, ancient. That was not human.

She leaned back just as quickly, her face returning to normal. I blinked, knowing that what just happened was real.

“Um, can I buy this or not.” She glared at me again, looking at the book on the counter. She looked normal now, and as far as I could tell whatever was there was gone. No cold spot, no hair on ends. It disappeared completely. I swallowed.

“Sure.”

 

Bertolt left by seven promptly. I couldn’t tell if his first day went ok or not. It was pretty rough, even for me. Now it was closing time. I put my back to the desk, leaning backwards with a long sigh. Levi was busy clearing up one of the bookshelves that happened to get messy.

“Do you need any help?” I asked unenthusiastically, my eyes closed. I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep right now. Today was making me edgy as it was.

Turns out that today was a full moon. I was not too happy to find that out. It was bad enough I was going to try out my theory with Levi tonight, but now we had a full moon. That was going to make things a lot worse.

“No, it’s fine. I got it.” He called, his voice a little muffled. I was a little relieved, but I still felt a bit guilty for making him work so hard. He made it look so easy.

“So about tonight…” I spoke a little louder than normal so he could hear me. “I found a good place to go and I was thinking we could walk it. Buses or taxis might not be good tonight.” I shivered at the thought that I would have to stay in a car, trapped with a ghost.

“Where do you plan to drag me?” His voice was coming closer, telling me that he was done with whatever he was doing. I opened my eyes. He was holding a rag in his hands to wipe them off. I stretched a little bit.

“We are going to head to the hospital tonight.” I said quickly. He didn’t look remotely surprised. He just nodded solemnly.

“Cool.” We shared an awkward silence, him staring at me and me staring at him.

“You don’t even really care, do you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“No, not really. I told you, I would rather protect you from the creepy crap.” He put the rag down on the table gently. I don’t think he realized just how romantic he made that sound, but my heart swooned a bit. _It was unintentional, it was unintentional._

“Okay then. We minus well get started.” I walked past him, heading to the break room. He followed me, collecting his stuff and following me out the door.

I stuttered for a second, taking in everything around me. It was almost too much for me to handle. I knew I didn’t like the city. And this was the exact reason why.

The spirits were most definitely out to play tonight. They were roaming around, passing humans and walking through walls. Beautiful colors sparked and swirled in the center of their ghostly bodies. They were Bright Ones. But what scared me the most were the amount of Dark Ones. I tightened my grip on my purse.

“What?” Levi looked down on me, probably noticing my hesitation. I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s nothing.” I ignored the spirits and looked at the path I had mapped out this morning while walking to the gym. It wasn’t that bad of a walk and the night air was nice, if a bit cold. Levi walked closer beside me than before, his hands in his pockets.

“So what exactly do you have planned for us tonight, Miss Psychic?” He called me by my nickname. I scoffed.

“Nothing real big. Just a simple test.” I didn’t want to divulge any information yet. I didn’t know exactly how this was going to go down because, well, I’ve never tried to do what I was going to attempt tonight. A breeze blew through, shifting through my hair.

Tonight was going to be exciting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for making you wait so long guys! I know i promised to post chapters often but these past two days have been really hectic! Gomenasai! Anyway, here is the new chappie! I posted it without going through the typos, and i will fix it later tomorrow- or well, today. Have a question? Comment! I won't bite! I love to hear from you guys!


	9. Pulling

Chapter 9: Pulling

 

The moon was currently being hidden behind a cloud, but I knew that it was there, causing this whole mess. Everywhere I looked, some spirit was doing something, whether they were yelling or screaming or kicking things in the road or causing breezes to throw papers around. It was exhausting just to watch, but to be able to hear it all was excruciating. I ground my teeth and shrunk back.

“That’s not a good sign.” Levi pointed out, taking in my face. He walked a little closer to me and out of the blue he looped my arm with his. I turned to him, thoroughly surprised by the gentlemanly gesture. He didn’t say anything, so I decided to leave it, enjoying his warmth and the proximity.

The different smells invaded my noise. The pavement, the food stands, the honey-roasted peanuts at a street corner, the car exhausts. It was like sensory overload, and it didn’t help when you added in the crowds- both spirits and humans alike. Everything pulsated against my head until I had to give up trying to find where we were walking.

“You know the city right?” I asked Levi. He turned to me and nodded, weaving us around a particularly clingy couple making out in front of us. “I’m trying to get to that hospital near here.” Minus well let him lead. I was losing my mind. “Just take us there.” I told him. I didn’t want to worry him but all of this was too much for me to handle right now.

“Sure.” He didn’t ask me why, sparing me from having to explain that I was incapable of figuring out street signs and corners on my own right now. He started walking at a slightly faster pace.

I tried to block out everything around me, opting for an even stronger mental wall. I pushed it further in my head, trying to block out not only the spirits but all the noise. I forgot where I was going and where I even was. I just focused solely on breathing and staying upright.

When I realized we stopped moving, I snapped back to reality. Levi was peering at me, concern written all over his face. I took a deep breath and let it out, taking in the sterile but messy hospital.

“No, that wasn’t ok. And yes, I’ll be fine in a few seconds.” I answered his unasked questions before he could ask them, taking a few more breaths. He just watched me, his arms crossed.

“Maybe we shouldn’t…” He started.

“Oh, come on.” I grabbed his arm and dragged him with me to the nearest elevator. The place was bustling around us so no one asked who we were or where we were going. I took advantage of it and hopped into the metal box, pressing the lowest floor.

“So we’re going to the basement.” Levi made like he was going to grab a cigarette, but thought better of it. “I already don’t like this.” He stated flatly, watching the screen signaling the floors we passed. When it hit the last one, the doors slid open. I could feel the electricity pumping in the air, and the cold slapped me in the face. I bit back my panic. This was the only way I could really determine if Levi was the one keeping the spirits at bay, if a little reckless on my part.

If it’s one thing I learned, it’s that spirits loved basements. Not only did they have the creepy factor, they usually bread perfect conditions for them. They could roam down there and yell and scream all they wanted, drowning the walls in their sorrows. That stuff was gross and often very tricky to deal with.

We walked into a bright hallway. The walls were a faded grey, in need of some serious scrubbing. Levi scoffed, making sure not to touch or brush up on anything. I didn’t want to go too far, but I had to get into a clear zone.

The hallway ended up going into a door, and I opened it hesitantly. It was clear, but the lighting was poor. Of course. I stepped in, Levi close on my heels, and went into the center. Then I turned to him.

“Stay there, ok?” He froze when I held my hand out to stop him from moving further towards me. The door closed automatically. I took in the room for a few seconds.

Once again, I had no idea where I was going. I knew that I needed to go to some sort of basement here but I was surprised there was no people down here working or something. There were no windows, which I expected as much. Some corners of the room seemed to be peeling and the air smelled stale. The floor was covered in dust.

“Did you even know that this room existed?” Levi asked somewhere off in the distance. I didn’t answer. I was already tuning everything out.

“Listen, I’m going to try something probably really dangerous.” I told him truthfully. “You won’t see anything but you might feel some… stuff.” I literally had no clue what was going to happen and one might think that was very stupid of me but I needed to see this, to be able to know for sure just what was going on.

“And when things get crazy, I need you to put your hand on my shoulder.” I instructed, closing my eyes.

I felt the cold air around me and focused in on that, almost as if I was drawing something out. Hospitals and cemeteries most definitely had a lot of spirits roaming around, so it wasn’t that hard to find a collective surge of untapped energy, especially with the full moon out.

I imagined pulling on it, bringing it to this room. The air went cold, much colder than before. I held on to what I saw in my head, pulling them even closer.

“Mikasa.” It was Levi, but I couldn’t look at him. If I moved now, everything would snap back to normal. I opted for ignoring him.

When I felt that I had summoned enough of them, I did the very last thing I ever wanted to do. I let all the energy flow into the room and I broke down the walls I had set up in my head to block them.

A flood of emotions just from their proximity caused me to lurch backwards. I wobbled for a second before regaining my balance again. I opened my eyes and stared into the ring of them before me, my back still to Levi.

“Why…?”

“Why did you call us all here?”

“I was busy!” They all talked over each other, both angry and confused alike. I put my hands in front of me in a calming gesture.

“I know, I’m terribly sorry but I needed to do something.” I told them. “I know it’s terribly selfish…”

“You called us for what?”

“You’re going to help me right?”

“You need to take something to Emily for me!” They shouted over each other and I instinctively took a few steps backwards, away from them.

“Please, just wait, I can explain.” They only got closer, their words garbled over one another. It was hard to make out what they were saying, and all the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. But it wasn’t from them.

“Get back please.” Came an angelic voice from behind them. They stopped moving towards me and turned around slowly, facing whatever it was that commanded them. They parted, leaving room for the new spirit to step forward.

It was a woman much shorter than me with a smile, her hands clasped together. In her past life she seemed to have strawberry blonde hair. She was smiling. I looked at her soul.

It must have been the purest color I have ever seen so far. It was a swirling mass of white and bright yellow, almost too bright for my eyes. I had to look away.

“Hello, Mikasa.” She said, looking straight at me. The spirits around her started disappearing one by one, vanishing into thin air like they were never there to begin with. “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.” She went on to say.

“Ahh… and what exactly are you?” I couldn’t help but ask. She was most definitely something I had never seen before, and the warmth radiating from her was very familiar. She stepped a little closer to me.

“I’ve been sent from up there.” She pointed to the sky. My eyes widened. There was no way. I had never had an encounter with someone from the Bright Place. When the spirits went up, they never came back down. So was she… an angel? “I have something I need you to do for me, and it concerns that man behind you as well.” She leaned over to look at Levi. I turned around to see for myself.

He was slouched on the floor, his eyes closed and his head leaning against the wall. My heart stopped.

“Levi!” I screamed, running to him and slipping on the disgusting floor before falling beside him. I grabbed his head and pressed my ear to his chest. He was breathing still. “Levi, oh God. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I cried, hot tears burning in my eyes and coming down my face. He didn’t move, didn’t make a sound.

“Please, relax. He’s fine. I just put him to sleep for a few minutes. He will be a little groggy but he’ll wake up just fine.” She stayed where she was. I furiously wiped my tears away and turned a hateful gaze to her.

“What the fuck do you mean?” I nearly spat. This was not acceptable.

“I mean that I came down here solely to talk to you, Mikasa. Right now we don’t need listeners.” Her smile was gone and she looked more serious than a few seconds ago. “And he will not return to normal until I finish what I have to say.” She threatened, looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. I just fumed, looking at Levi on the floor. This was not fair to him. I shouldn’t have brought him here.

“Ok, good.” She nodded but I interrupted her.

“Why did you decide to do this now? Why couldn’t you have done this some other time, when I was alone?!” I shouted, all my anger being thrown at her. She didn’t even seem to register my feelings, or if she did she sure as hell didn’t show it.

“Because you have never once tried to throw all of the walls down before, or summon so many spirits on your own. That was quite reckless you know. If all of them had touched you you could have died.” She answered, still not moving.

“What does that even matter?”

“It matters,” she begun patiently, “because when you threw down the veil and called the spirits, I could finally pinpoint you. It was almost like a little beacon that went off. And I immediately came down to see you. What I have to say is important not just for you but for Levi.” She gestured a finger to him and walked a little closer to us. I moved back, but the wall blocked me from going any further. I spared a glance at the sleeping Levi.

“Don’t touch us.” I hissed at her. She bent down to our level on the floor, but made no other movements to come any closer.

“I don’t think you realize just how special you are, young one. And just how dangerous what you do is.” She looked me in the eyes. “You are a Cleaner. What you do is very important for both sides of the spectrum. You take what hasn’t been taken already and send it off to the appropriate places. That is a very special gift.

“But what you don’t realize is that slowly, the other side is starting to catch wind of you. They know what you’re doing and it’s only a matter of time before they find you.” She said gravely. I continued to glare at her, but I took everything she said in, not wanting to admit that this was interesting, if worrisome.

“So by both sides, you mean the Brighter Place and what, Hell?” It was a stupid question to ask since I already knew the answer but I had to ask. She nodded curtly.

“Yes. They are currently trying to find you. What you do upsets the balance for them. You ship good spirits to the Bright Place, but you also destroy dark ones. They are not going to be happy with you.

“So they will find you and they will kill you.” Her angelic face did not stop the cold sweat forming on my hairline. “I was sent here to tell you this and to help you.” Now she directed her hand to Levi. Her eyes warmed, and she reached a hand out to brush back his hair. I couldn’t tell her to stop, it felt wrong.

“He is the key, Mikasa. You might have been on to something before, and whatever dangerous acts you were about to pull would have proven that to you. I just couldn’t take the chance in losing you. You are very valuable.” She put her hand back in her lap and gave me her undivided attention. I sniffed, my eyes still wet.

“I’m just a small town girl from some stupid city Upstate.” I protested. “There are a million different people that could have been so much better at this.” I wasn’t special.

“And yet you are the one stuck with it.” She moved her arm in a sweeping motion around the room. She stood up, then smiled down at not just me, but at Levi. “Tell him that it’s ok to move on. Burn the briefcase and the pictures of my death. They have kept him back for so long. He doesn’t deserve it.” She backed up slowly, floating to the middle of the room. “I’ll be in touch.”

A bright, blinding white light burned through the room. I turned away from her and the light, wrapping my arms around Levi and myself, my head tucked close to his. When enough time passed, I looked back to where she had stood.

Lying in the middle of the room where she once stood was a small gold object. It flashed in the little light that came from the harsh florescent lights. I took my eyes off of it to Levi.

I knew I heard correctly, but I didn’t want to believe that. That spirit- angel?- was his deceased wife. The one that made him turn away from life. Of course I didn’t blame her for that, but I didn’t know what to think anymore. She came down here as such a divine being, something more than a spirit could ever be. She had the warmth of the Bright Place. She was warning me. She was telling me to tell Levi move on. All of this swirled in my head.

Levi stirred in my arms and I thought I was going to die from relief. “Levi.” I called out to him, moving his hair away from his eyes. It was soft. “Levi, I’m so sorry.” The tears were stinging my eyes again. I let them fall freely. “I’m so, so sorry for bringing you into this.” I felt horribly guilty. I could have risked his life here, and my own. I knew it was going to be dangerous but I never expected something like this to happen.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked around for a second before his eyes focuses on me. The tears were dripping down my face, landing on my thighs. I didn’t know what else to say. All I could do was apologize to him. I never should have done this.

His hand reached up to my face and my heart jumped into my throat. He gingerly wiped away the tears that ran down my eyes, his fingers electrifying the skin he brushed.

“So you want to explain to me what happened?” He inquired. Was that the question of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another chapter! The plot thickens! Just what is going on now? Is Levi really that important? Is Mikasa stuck in a war between Heaven and Hell? Who knows! Questions? Comments? Please do so in leaving them! I'll try to get back to everyone. Thank you for sticking with me again! I promise you will get some answers soon(ish XD). Until then!


	10. Pushing

Chapter 10: Pushing

 

We were long gone from the hospital. I didn’t quite feel like going home, so Levi took me to a park nearby and I stood leaning against a cold metal fence, the breeze from the river blowing my hair to and fro. He leaned over the railing, a cigarette in his mouth and his hands dangling in the air. He looked positively frazzled, his eyes cold and dark. I left him alone to think.

I told him everything. I told him about the spirits that gathered in the room and the fact that when this, this being entered they parted ways and vanished immediately, probably per her request. I told him that this angel or whatever was looking for me specifically, which is why he was knocked out. He wasn’t too happy.

The hardest part I had to tell him was that it was his fiancé, Petra. Sure, one might think that was a good thing, that she was in a much better place but I knew that it wasn’t. To have something like that taunted in your face was an awful feeling. He had had to live with the fact that he might very well have killed her and now she doesn’t even say hello. Or that she’s ok. That wasn’t going to make him feel any better.

I told him that according to her, I was being hunted down by people not from the Bright Place. Maybe they were Dark Ones, or maybe they were something else entirely. I didn’t know for sure, but the fact of the matter is that that wasn’t enticing at all. Being stuck in the middle of two sides that could demolish me in a second was no laughing matter.

I also told him that she looked ok, and that she said to burn the briefcase and the files and to stop holding it against himself. She would have wanted him to move on, according to her. He didn’t even look at me.

What I didn’t tell him is that according to Petra, Levi played some key role in all of this. I think I gave him enough to think about for one day. I mean, he didn’t even know all of this existed a week ago. I didn’t want to overload him. I felt guilty enough throwing this much at him.

The waves crashed below me, sea spray dotting across my boots. I pushed some of my hair behind my ear and felt inside my pocket for the hundredth time. The precious metal pressed against my fingers and I felt around every ridge, every bump, trying to memorize its feel.

The circular object lying on the ground from before was a compass with beautiful script letters, a single gold chain hanging gingerly from a gold loop on the front. Attached to the chain was a single gold pair of wings with lines disjointing them, framed in an upside down pentagon. It was as light as a feather, leading me to believe that it was not actually made of gold but of something else entirely. I had to admit it was gorgeous, but I had no clue what its purpose was.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I really, truly am.” I repeated again as he stomped out his finished cigarette. My heart was crushed along with it. “I’m sorry I did something so reckless.” I stopped myself from continuing. I could go on a rant for days for the crap I pulled on him. But it wouldn’t make a difference.

Levi blew a breath into the air, a fog puffing with it. It was pretty cold tonight and it leaked into my coat pretty quickly. I tried to pull my scarf closer around my face but that could only help so much.

“I’m not going to say it’s ok.” Levi admitted slowly. It felt like a nail was driven into my heart. “But I don’t know,” he looked at me now, his eyes wild, “I understand? I kinda get it? I just… This is a hell of a lot to take in right now.” He confided, staring deadpan at me. I blinked in response.

Sure, this wasn’t so bad. What could be worse was him not even bothering to talk to me at all. _I could handle this_ , I convinced myself.

“I don’t know. I need some time to think.” He looked back out to the river, the opaque body of water moving and flowing. Right there, he looked like a burning angel, one that had no doubt gone through hell and back. His eyes caught the moonlight perfectly, and I could see all the sorrow and all the pain finally coming through. It was breath taking as well as heart breaking.

“Ok.” I took a step away. If he needed time, that was fine. I couldn’t help him by being here because I was the one who turned his whole word upside down. I collected my belongings and I walked away.

I ignored all the spirits roaming on the sidewalks and finally let myself feel. I let the waves of emotion break free of the box I had thrown them in and I cried. The tears sprang free almost immediately, hot and rolling down my face. I was so afraid, so scared. I had no clue what I was doing or what was happening anymore. I hurt a close friend and brought them into this mess. I was a monster.

Bleary eyed and sniffling, I eventually found my apartment. I threw myself onto my couch, burying my face in the cushions and cried. I hated crying. I felt weak. But I couldn’t stop it. The sadness washed over me, taking over everything. Eventually, I must have fallen asleep.

*****

I woke up with a wicked pain in my neck the next morning. For a second I had no clue where I was and I rolled over abruptly, landing on the floor hard with a thud.

“Ow.” I rubbed my bruised butt and sat up, looking around. The sun poured through the windows. I raised an eyebrow. What time was it? I glanced at the clock and had a heart attack. It was one o’clock! Why was it so late?!

I took a shower in record time, throwing on the first things I saw in my room and not caring. I ran out the door and took the stairs two at a time, running outside and in the direction of my store, my coat flying open. In my haste I forgot my purse, but I didn’t care.

I almost got run over at least twice but I made it to the store, panting. I threw open the door. Levi was at the front desk taking care of a customer and Bertolt was just climbing up the stairs. When they looked at me I had no clue what to say, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

“You guys suck for not calling me.” I mumbled, directing it mostly to Levi. He looked awful, probably even more so then I. His eyes were dark and hollow. He looked to have not slept the entire night, and I didn’t blame him. I found the ground very interesting as I walked to the back.

I dropped my stuff on the table and took a deep breath before going back out again, my mask firmly in place. Then I headed to the front desk, pushing Levi aside when he was done with the customer.

“I got this.” I assured him bitterly. He chose not to say anything, instead opting for a scowl. I deserved much more anyway, so it was nothing.

“And how can I help you today?” I asked the new customer.

 

The day was slow, and I was happy for that. We closed at seven. Bertolt was just starting to get the hang of things around here and was warming up to the job which I was glad about. He was the sweetest thing, just like Marco. He left, leaving me and Levi to ourselves.

I didn’t know whether it was ok to talk or not so I chose the latter. It was safer not to say anything. I collected my keys and threw on my coat, this time taking care to button it all the way. Apparently there was a snow storm approaching and it had already started, peppering the ground in slush. I really wished I had at least taken my gloves.

I walked out and Levi trailed behind me. When he exited, I avoided looking at him, instead focused on locking the door. Then I turned, fully prepared to walk home when a heavy hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned my head to look at Levi.

“Wanna grab something to eat?” He asked me, but I knew there was something else he wanted to say. If he was talking to me, that was a good sign, right? I would go along for it.

“Sure.” I shrugged. He let me go with a quick “Good” and we walked to the same dinner we went a few days ago. The snow was starting to come down a little harder and I hoped it would be ok when I went home.

We took a seat at the same booth and we ordered the same things- he got French toast and tea, I got strawberry banana pancakes and hot chocolate. It was awkward, neither of us talking. I looked down at my hands beneath the booth wondering why he had asked for me to come here in the first place.

By the time the food came, I was getting antsy. I took it out on the food, stabbing the banana pieces too hard and ripping the pancakes to pieces. I scarfed the thing down. I was a stress eater, something I would never admit to Eren.

We finished and I pulled out whatever bills I had in my coat but Levi stopped me, insisting he would pay again. It was the first words he had said this whole time. I let him, walking out quickly, fuming. I stormed out the door, walking away from everything, so incredibly frustrated.

“Wait.” Levi called from somewhere behind me. I kept on going, ignoring him. So now he wasn’t going to keep me in the dark? Well, too late.

“I said wait, Mikasa.” He grabbed my hand so fast I was practically whipped backwards. I lost my footing in the slush and stumbled into him, grabbing onto the front of his coat. He instinctively put his hands on my waist to steady me. We were so close, just a breath away from each other. But I didn’t let that stop my anger.

“You didn’t talk to me that entire time and you expect me to just wait for you?” I shoved myself off him angrily. “I have no reason to wait anymore.” I went to turn from him but he stopped me again.

“You’re cute when you’re mad.” He commented. I was taken so off guard that I didn’t know what to say. He used it to his advantage. “I was waiting for the right time.” He justified, like that was an ok excuse to give me the silent treatment. I crossed my arms in front of me, blinking back the snow that fell into my eyes.

“And so now you decide to say something?” My voice came out a little squeakier than I would have liked but I didn’t care.

“No. Yes. That’s not the point.” He sounded both exasperated and tired. “The point is that I thought it over. And that I’m still going to tag along with you. You need someone to help you, that much I already know. And seeing as how you told me about mostly everything, it’s the most logical decision that it’s me that should help you.” He reasoned. “You’re going to wind up getting yourself killed from the sounds of it and we need to prevent that at all costs.”

When he finished, I was left wide eyed and astounded. It had only taken him one night to figure all this out? To accept everything and _still_ be willing to stick his neck out for a girl he barely knew? I didn’t know whether to be thankful or think he was suicidal.

“You really don’t have to.” I claimed. Although it was nice of him, I couldn’t force someone to tag along with me like that. It made me feel even worse. He had no reason to do what he was doing- although Petra might have said otherwise.

“I insist.” He declared strongly, leaving no room for argument. “It’s not like you can force me not to.” He challenged. I frowned at him. He started coming closer to me and I stood where I was defiantly. I thought he was going to mock me or something but instead, he reached into my pocket and stole my phone. “And I’ve yet to get your number.” He started fiddling around with it, taking his own phone out.

“And you never thought to ask me, you jerk?!” I went for it but he easily blocked me. He held it up in the air, still touching the screen to find what he was looking for. I tried to reach up for it again.

“Ah, here we are.” He turned to look at his phone and I took my chance. I jumped for it, accidently pressing to close to him. He leaned against the wall and I fell into him, my chest pressed against his, my hands outstretched, frozen where I was trying to grab for my phone.

I looked at him and our eyes locked. He was looking at me with such intensity, like he could feel exactly what I was feeling. We were caught up like that for what seemed like forever, my body pressed into him, electricity crackling between us. He swallowed and my face flushed. Then he smiled wickedly.

“If you keep on doing that, I can’t guarantee your safety.” I pulled away from him immediately, punching him hard.

“Ya, sure. Now give me my phone back.” I held out my hand, mortified.  After a few more button clicking he placed it in the middle of my palm. I closed my hand around it and held it to my chest. I felt like he had invaded my privacy and seen things I didn’t want him or anybody to see. “I’m going home.” I turned from him.

My place was a little far from here, and the snow was picking up already. My hair was wet and freezing, sticking to the sides of my face and my fingers felt like they were going to fall off. It was a freaking blizzard out here.

“Oh come on. My place is a hell of a lot closer. You’re gonna freeze out here.” Levi’s words stopped me from going any further. I stood there, my arms balled up in fists at my sides. Go to his place, where it was warm, or head to mine in a blizzard. Be embarrassed, or be safe. I bit my lip.

“Fine, but if you try anything I’ll kick your ass.” I followed him. He smiled, knowing that he won and led me along. The spirits weren’t too bad today and they stayed away from me which I was glad for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh! This chapter took so much time and then i wound up breaking it into a cliff hanger type thing because it was becoming way too long! I'm so sorry for the wait! I had it all planned out to go the same day and then i got really into it and I don't even know. The next one might be a little spicier though everyone! I'm sorry for any typos! Leave a comment, if you wish! I love them!  
> P.S. Thank you for everyone that had read this/ kept up with this. I love you guys!  
> P.P.S. Yes, the wings are the Wings of Freedom (the Survey Corps emblem). If you noticed that, you are amazing!


	11. Melting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys you've been warned. This is gonna get really hot, really fast. If you do not like sexy-time, skip over it. To those of you that do, this is my first smut! Please be gentle with me, for I am a novice!

Chapter 11: Melting

 

His apartment building was apparently only two blocks from the diner which explained why he went there a lot. It was a huge sky scraper, grey and filled with shinning windows. Some people still had their Christmas lights up, which was pretty sad. I stopped myself from laughing.

My shoes squeaked along the white marble floors. I was starting to shiver from the cold. I just really needed a hot shower and a fluffy blanket right about now. I cursed at myself for having such a weak will. I should have just walked to my place.

Levi led the way to the elevator and we rode it in silence. I kicked at the floor, my arms crossed in front of me trying to hold in as much heat as possible, bringing my hands to my lips to unthaw them with my breath. I hated walking around in wet clothes. It made me feel heavy and gross.

Levi left the elevator when we hit the 21st floor and I followed suit. He unlocked a door a little ways down a hallway and stepped inside, holding the door open for me. I entered and the door closed behind me making me feel like I was being locked inside a jail cell. He turned on the lights and I got a good look at his apartment.

His place was gorgeous, most definitely not _looking_ a prison. It looked like something you’d see in those magazines housewives buy. I thought of the best title for this place. _Dream Homes for Your Family_ , maybe.

He had an open floor plan so that in the kitchen- complete with granite countertops, updated utilities and a mosaic backsplash in warm browns and greys- you could see into the living room. He had a huge plasma screen TV mounted into the wall, equipped with surround sound speakers, a leather love seat and sofa. There was a brown carpet underneath it and the walls here were painted a cool grey. Off to the side was a dark-wood dining table. He had a hallway that no doubt led to his bedroom and the bathroom, but there was no way I was going there.

“Wow. Isn’t this something else.” I stepped inside, kicking off my boots and my soaked through socks and sparing a glance at him. “You didn’t tell me you were rich.” I quipped, putting my socks to rest on my boots.  It was warm in here, which was greatly needed. A drop of water from my hair rolled down my back and I jerked forward. Damn, that was cold!

“Here, let me grab you a towel. Take off that coat, you’re tracking water all over my floors.” He ran off somewhere down the hall. I pouted, first taking off my scarf and then the drenched coat slowly. My fingers fumbled over the buttons, still frozen. Levi returned and caught me fighting with it. I saw the look in his eyes.

“Oh, no. Leave me alone…” He didn’t listen, instead brushing my hands away.

“It’ll be a lot faster if I just do it.” He worked on the buttons, getting it open before grabbing the zipper and pulling it down. Then he grabbed it from my shoulders and handed me the towel. “I have a dryer, you know.” He stated sarcastically. I snatched the dark towel from his hands.

“Of course you do. What else do you have, a soda fountain?” I joked, wringing my hair out with the towel, but he looked at me seriously. “Oh, god. You do? You actually have one of those?” I couldn’t believe it. He really was loaded.

“Anything else you want me to throw in the dryer?” He asked instead, giving me a once over. I looked down at my wet shirt. It clung to my body, pointing out every curve. My eyes widened.

“Oh, not this too.” I grumbled.

“Take it off.” He insisted, holding out his hand expectantly. I sighed. Could this get any worse?

“Fine, but turn around you jerk.” I mumbled. He smiled but did as told. I grabbed the cold and clingy fabric and brought it over my head. The only thing I had underneath was a red bra but I minus well not have had anything on. I wrapped the towel around me, slapping the wet shirt in his hands hard. He walked to the hallway again without a word and I turned to his living room.

The warmth was coming from somewhere and I just had to find it. The goosebumps on my flesh compelled me. I searched near the ground to see if I could find a vent that provided his heat. Gripping the towel tight in my palms, I walked around the room to no avail. Of course this rich guy wouldn’t have old school heating. Then I immediately looked above. He had central heating- in an apartment. I sighed and decided what the hell. I sat directly below it on the floor cross legged.

Levi walked in and took one look at me, eyebrows raised, before he probably decided I was crazy.

“Why are you…?” He started but I pointed up, to the lovely thing producing heat. “Ok…” He said slowly, leaving me where I was and walking to the kitchen. I heard a few pots banging around and the sound of him filling water into one.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, not wanting to get up from where I sat. The heat was just way too good right now.

“I’m making food. Ever heard of it?” He said sarcastically. I scowled at the kitchen, not being able to see him from where I sat on the floor.

“You really don’t have to. I’ll be gone soon anyway.” I called without actually knowing if that was true. I grabbed for my phone in my pocket, now running on low battery to check the time. It was almost nine now. I’d have to walk home in the dark in a blizzard. Lovely. “Plus, we just had food.”

“Ya but this is mostly to warm you up. There’s no point in making you come here if you get sick, now is there?” He was cutting up something and adding it to the water, that much I could tell just by listening. I checked the weather and sighed. The storm wasn’t even at its worse yet. It was apparently expected to dump at least a foot of snow overnight. I cried on the inside.

Levi came back into the living room and stared down at me awkwardly before proceeding to his couch where he sat down, crossing his leg over the other and throwing his hands behind it. He looked like a king, and this was his kingdom.

“You’re really going to sit there.” His eyes looked me over and I tightened the towel around me, a shiver running up my back. “On the floor, just like that.”  He looked down and a shadow cast over his eyes making him look more dangerous than usual.  

“Ya, I’m really just going to sit over here, just like this, on the floor where it’s warm.” I assured him. I refused to move from the lovely heat blowing down on me. “Have any other bright ideas?” I raised an eyebrow at him. A ghost of a smile flitted across his lips.

“Ideas, hm.” His voice was low, enticing. It made my blood run cold. Something started to boil in the kitchen and Levi stood up, his eyes sliding away from me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and decided to get up, relaxing my furiously beating heart as I walked to his black curtained window. Now, if I could just figure out how to open these things.

I pushed aside the black masses of billowing, soft fabric and found a string that would more than likely open the blinds. Saying what the hell, I tugged at them and the breath was knocked right out of me.

The city looked like a winter wonderland! The snow came down and swirled so elegantly over each and every one of the buildings. In the distance I could make out the Empire State Building with its brilliant blue and gold lights. The Freedom Tower stood over everything, tall and proud. All the lights in the city shone down, bouncing off all the other buildings and the snow until it was a wonderful arrangement of soft golds, whites and yellows, even reds and blues. It was simply breath taking.

“And now you’ve migrated to the window.” I turned to Levi, my smile still plastered on my face. He stopped moving, a bowl of something steaming and liquidy in his hands.

“You didn’t tell me you had such a view!” I said excitedly, turning back to the window in awe. I felt like a five year old on Christmas day. Levi didn’t say anything for a few seconds.

“The only view I’m catching is you.” His voice was hushed. I turned to him but he changed the subject. “I’m so used to the city. It’s long since lost its beauty.” He put the bowl down and stood beside me, our shoulders just barely touching. The air was heavy around us. We stood like that, in a comfortable silence until I remembered the food he brought out and went to find it.

“Soup.” I rested the warm bowl in my hands. “Thanks.” It was simple, frothy and hearty. There were carrots and potatoes inside along with little noodles that reminded me of ramen. I ate while he paid attention to the outside. The hot liquid warmed me up from the inside out, but I knew that wasn’t the only thing that was making me hot.

“Sure.” He whispered. It was pretty silent, the room now filled with our steady breathing and the clangs of the spoon on the green ceramic bowl in my hands. When I was done, I walked to his kitchen and put it in the sink, my sock-less feet pattering on the hardwood floors. They were warm= maybe heated too?

I looked at him from the kitchen and noticed he was leaning into the window, now open and blowing some cool air through his hair. The light caught him perfectly and I so badly just wanted to go over and run my hands through his hair. Instead I left him there and made a mad dash for his hallway. I wanted to see what else he had going on here, or at least find a bathroom to look at myself in a mirror.

I opened the first door I saw. Inside was an assortment of exercise equipment, a thin but sturdy grey carpet covering the floor. So that’s why he felt so hard underneath that coat. I blushed, wiping the times I’ve fallen into him away. I closed the door.

I went to the next room, which was a decent sized study. A whole wall was dedicated to books, lines of them strewn atop bookshelves and littering his desk. I walked up to it quickly and recognized the books; they were the ones I had looked into when I thought I was going crazy and seeing things. They explained the paranormal and ghosts and stuff, except some of it was completely wrong- I know from experience, trial and error. I smiled. So he really did care like that.

I left that room and entered another one. This time I was successful in finding a bathroom. It was gorgeous just like the rest of the house, which was to be expected. I closed the door and turned on the overhead lights. The tiling in here was most certainly professional, or if not, really freaking well done. All the colors were shades and hues of greys and blues with accents of black and green.

I looked myself over in the mirror. My nose was a little red and my cheeks a little flush but I looked ok. My hair needed a good brushing though and I felt embarrassed once I saw the state of my clothes. Walking around in a towel was not ok, especially when you could see my bra straps. I closed my eyes and breathed. Too late already, he’s seen it so what the hell.

I looked through his drawers and eventually found a comb. I ran it through my hair quickly and then threw my hands under some warm water. It felt really nice. I ran some hot water in my face too, just because. Then I used the towel I had grabbed to wipe off my hands and my face. I secured the towel over my shoulders and decided to inspect the other side of the stone wall behind me- his bathroom was that big.

I peeked over the wall and my hand flew to my mouth. In his bathtub it looked like a bonfire was created, or an explosion. It was charred and black with soot and what were once papers. In the center was a mountain of crispified photos but underneath I could just make out his briefcase, the one he used to carry around all the time.

I felt so guilty then. It hit me so hard, like a punch in the stomach, all the hate and the fear over what happened yesterday came back. He actually did what Petra said, and sure that might be good of him to let go but it felt wrong, like I had somehow rushed the process or created things that shouldn’t have happened. That I… that I meddled between a relationship? I don’t even know but I felt awful.

I left the bathroom, my heart as heavy as the solid door I closed lightly. I walked back into the living room, my knuckles white from holding the towel too tight. Levi was leaning against the wall opposite the kitchen looking towards the hallway.

“I was wondering when you were going to appear. What, did you get lost?” He sneered. I was looking down at the floor, not in the mood for joking around.

“Listen, I’m truly sorry for everything.” I looked back up at Levi and he stared at me, confused. “I really am. I didn’t want to get in between you and your fiancé.” He opened his mouth to say something but I didn’t let him. “I’m sorry she knocked you out and that you didn’t even get to talk to her. I’m sorry for the whole thing. If it never happened you wouldn’t have done what you did in the bathtub.” I said somberly. His eyebrows went up, no doubt from my observation of the tub but I ignored it. The words wouldn’t stop.

“If you never met me, you wouldn’t have known about any of this. Not spirits or the afterlife or hell. Nor Dark Ones and the chaos they bring. You wouldn’t be wasting your time trying to find out about it to save my life, a person you don’t even know. You wouldn’t be hurting or thinking about the past or burning everything you have in your bathroom. None of it.” I stopped to catch a breath. Everything came out at once, and now that I said it I felt the stinging in my eyes. I caused all of this to such a kind person. I caused him pain and brought him into this supernatural world.

“Mikasa, it’s really fine.” Those words were not what I wanted to hear.

“No, it’s not fine!” All my emotions were spilling out, and although I knew I was misdirecting them I didn’t care. “It’s never going to be fine again! Ever! I brought you into all of this without a second thought. Just being around me is dangerous! Just standing here is…” I didn’t get to finish the rest. Levi had walked up to me and grabbed my arms tightly, forcing me into silence.

“Mikasa, Petra is dead. She’s _dead._ ” I searched his eyes and knew that those words hurt him to say but he was determined to say them. “She’s been dead for a while. I was so afraid to let it go, I kept the case with me for a year. I kept that hurt with me _for a year_ , Mikasa.” His voice was hard but somehow raw with emotion. “And without you, I would have been like that for a lot longer. Without you, I would have been…” His cool grey eyes seemed to pierce through me, like he was looking into my soul. It was so personal. His eyes were on fire, melting me where I stood.

The only place I could look at was his mouth. They drew me in so perfectly, like I was no match at all, like I belonged on them. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, but my heart beat so fast. He leaned forward and I leaned forward and when our lips met the world shifted away like watercolors blurring until it was him and me.

He let go of my arms and wrapped his hands around my body while I pushed closer to him, closing my eyes, needing the feel of his lips on mine. They were rough but soft at the same time, hungry, devouring. I couldn’t get enough of it, his hot breath on my face, my mouth moving in sync with his own. I pushed closer to him and he turned me around in seconds, pushing me against the wall hard. I was trapped between the wall and his arms by my head. The towel fell from my hands and I didn’t care if I was in front of him in my bra.

He broke the kiss and looked at me, his eyes ablaze, smoky with lust as they trailed down my body and hooded by his dark eyelashes. The skin connection was gone but I knew our connection went farther than that.

“If you don’t want this to continue, now’s your last chance.” There was an edge to his voice, a dangerous intonation to his words. I wanted to see just how dangerous this man could be. I stood before him, silent, not making a single move to retreat. He gave me a half smile and his lips were on mine again, the electricity and heat being relit.

I was lost in the feeling. His hands traveled down my sides slowly, his palms igniting the skin he touched, sending shock waves down my stomach and to my most intimate parts. Goosebumps of sheer pleasure rose on my skin. I sighed into his mouth and his tongue darted forward exploring every nook, grazing over my teeth before finding my tongue. They continued in a kind of dance where I got to taste him. He tasted clean and almost like tea. It was both dangerous and safe.

I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him closer, hungry for a deeper connection. I ground my hips into his and he groaned against my mouth. His thumbs made small circles on my hips while he broke the kiss to move to my jaw. I tilted my head to the side, lost in the feeling. He sucked the sensitive flesh there and bit down, not enough to hurt but enough to make me shriek in ecstasy.

He went lower and I captured his hair in my hands, grabbing onto it. It was soft, as soft as I had imagined it being. He looked up at me, his eyes roiling with primal desire and heat. He peppered kisses down my neck and collar bone, his leg parting mines open so he could press further into me. His hands went back up to the small of my back, where he grabbed me and pulled me closer.

“We’re going to need a bed.” He gave me a sinful half smile and stood up straighter, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the hallway. We were only half through before he turned around and started kissing me again. I kissed him back, a little confused.

“What about…” I breathed, trying to see where he was backing up.

“Ya, we’ll get to that,” His fingers dipped into the waistband of my jeans and all thoughts of his room were lost. He pulled me along with him, fumbling for the doorknob in between wet kisses. I pushed him into the door, my hands on his hips. I licked at the bottom of his lips asking for entrance and he opened his mouth welcomingly. He growled seductively, leading me to believe I was doing something right. I did some exploring of my own, rolling around his tongue and getting lost in the feel of him. Shock waves of pleasure pulsed through my body. I wanted him, I needed him.

“Shit.” We stumbled into the room and he kicked the door closed expertly. We were turning again, his hands moving me so that now I was the one with my back to the dark room. I brought my hands to the front of his chest, making sure to take my time feeling every hard muscle that rippled beneath his shirt. I found the top button, undoing it easily, then working my way to the next one.

I crashed into something hard and wood-like, tumbling backwards, bringing him crashing with me. I fell onto his bed, soft blankets shifting underneath me. It was comfortable. I leaned forward, balancing my weight on my elbows to peer at where I landed and holy crap was this bed huge! A line of fluffy pillows rested at the headboard. I looked back at Levi, who was staring right back at me.

“You really are rich, aren’t you?” I teased in between raspy breaths. He gave me a dark look before grabbing one of the pillows and throwing at me. I knocked it out of the way in time to see him lean forward and grab my chin with his thumb and forefinger, tipping my head back slightly.

“Shut up.” He commanded before taking my mouth in his again. Any spiteful remark vanished from my lips, now commanded by his passionate and fierce ones. “Move back a little more.” He instructed me in between harsh kisses. I did as I was told, only breaking our contact for a moment. He slid up with me, taking a hold of my leg and wrapping it around his back, his two arms caging me in easily, holding his own weight.

My hands found the opening in his shirt and grazed over the skin underneath, warm and deserving some attention. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling before opening them back up, keenly observing every move I made, every rise and fall of my chest. I trailed my nails along them, finding the top of the shirt and sliding it off. Now we were even.

His hands went to my stomach, his thumb swaying up and down by my navel. I mewled underneath him, needing to get closer. He moved to my neck and the kisses traveled to my chest right on an ample amount of cleavage. I was hot, so hot right now but I was also nervous and embarrassed at the same time. Levi sensed this and pulled up.

“Relax, Mikasa. Just relax.” His voice lulled me into a sense of safety. He looked up at me as he kissed me on my breast, over my bra. I sighed deeply, grabbing a fistful of his sheets and gripping them tightly. Then he bit down over my right nipple, his one hand holding him up. The other hand was grazing over my bra and to my back, where he unhooked it.

I wiggled beneath him, grinding into his hips. Something hard pressed against me through his pants- his arousal. I did it again experimentally and he moaned, his eyes going dark again. I liked that I could do that to him. He ripped the bra off of me violently in retaliation for grinding into him. My pink nipples were hard and exposed to the cold air. Levi just stared at my newly revealed and naked chest, his eyes drinking in each mound in. I squirmed under his gaze.

“Stop moving.” He demanded. I did as I was told. He brought his face down to one slowly, bringing a nipple in between his teeth and nipping it.

“Levi!” I cried out, biting back my shrieks. He breathed contently and worked on the other one with his palm, tweaking it and rolling it around while he sucked on the other one. He was sending me over the edge, and quickly.

I took matters into my own hands then, not about to let him enjoy this. I found the button to his pants and undid it, pulling them down. He rose from me enough so that I could pull them down further before he took them off all the way and threw them off to the side. His erection was pitching a tent in his boxers and looked to be in desperate need of relief. I smiled wickedly.

When Levi crawled back on top of me I turned the tables on him, literally. I grabbed him and pinned him down hard, his back now on the bed. I straddled his thighs and looked down on him with lustful eyes.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” He asked, wondering where I was going with this. I didn’t answer, instead choosing to find his member. I gripped it in my hands firmly and he hissed. “Fuck, Mikasa.” He groaned beneath me, his eyes glazing over for a quick second. I pumped him once, twice, three times, building my on rhythm. He jerked beneath me and I enjoyed every minute of it, stroking the head and moving to the base. I could see he didn’t want me to see just how crazy I was making him. He was breathing heavily beneath me. _Let’s see just how far I can go._

I bent forward, my breasts bouncing in front of me before I licked the head. Levi closed his eyes now, a pained look on his face. I took him in my mouth as far as I could, coating him completely before continuing where I had left off, pumping him with my hand and mouth. I could taste the pre-cum, both bitter and sweet. I swallowed. He grabbed onto my hair now, moving me any way he wanted. “S-shit, you feel so good.” I looked at him and he looked back at me. He was almost there, I could feel it. But before he got his sweet relief, he stopped me.

“Wait.” He commanded and I froze and leaned back up. He was sweating and his musk sent a shiver through me. He grabbed me in one fluid motion and was resting on top of me again. “I’ll be the one dominating here.” He insisted. He grabbed for my jeans, popping the button open and flinging them in the air to land wherever. I laughed. “You’re so wet.” He grabbed my panties and rolled them down.  I lifted my feet and he got them off easily.

His hand went down my thigh, sending a fiery wave straight to my groin. He was on me again, his mouth catching mine. I shuddered, groaning into his mouth and our tongues found each other. Meanwhile his hands parted my folds, slicking themselves before finding my sweet spot. He rubbed against it and I was lost for a second.

“Levi, please.” I begged him. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just wanted him to put out the fire in me. He moved to my ear, nipping it playfully.

“Please, what?” He asked, mocking me. I sighed against him, wrapping my legs around him. Every move he made, every lick or bite he gave me set my nerves on fire. I wanted him so bad. He bites me harder making me focus on him again.

“I want you. I need you.” I pleaded. He moved his hand from my pearl and inserted a digit into me, curling his finger before pulling it out and doing it all over again. I whimpered, my hands finding his back, my nails scratching and grabbing at flesh, trying to pull him closer. He didn’t budge.

“What do you need?” A shadow crossed over his face. He was having way too much fun with this but I let that fact fly over me. I would give him anything if it meant sweet relief. He put another finger into me, toying with me. My body quaked.  

“I want- I need you inside of me! Now!” I demanded. He gave me that evil crocked smile before he pulled his fingers out of me and leaned over to the nightstand, grabbing a condom from his drawer. I pulled his boxers down around his thighs before he removed them. He ripped the condom wrapper with his teeth and spit the plastic out of his mouth. He went to put it on but I grabbed it nimbly, plucking it from the wrapper and rolling it onto his erect penis myself. He was hot, pulsating under my hands.

He positioned himself in front of me and I moved in a bit closer, my hands around his shoulders. He kissed me then, pushing himself into me in one fluid motion, all of him filling me to the brim, stretching me. I screamed out, my moans muffled by his mouth. He grabbed my ass, squeezing it before pulling out and thrusting himself back in me with a wet slap.

Our bodies moved together. I moved to meet his thrusts, he moved to sheath himself deeper in my walls. I was tight around him, trying to milk his seed, our bodies repeatedly melding together in bliss.

“Shit.” Levi moaned, his forehead resting on mine as our panting increased. He went faster and we climbed higher together, needing the release. Our sweat mixed together, our bodies sliding in the same rhythm. “You feel so good.” He was able to get out before I found his mouth and trapped him beneath my lips, my tongue darting forward to meet his. He thrust harder, his hand reaching to rub my sweet spot. The heat was pooling between my legs, threatening to explode. I arched my back into him.

“Levi.” I cried out. “Levi, Levi, Levi!” His mouth smashed into mine as I came hard, lights bursting before my eyes. I was lost in pure ecstasy, riding out the orgasm. Levi continued, pumping fast and hard before he found a release of his own. He came hard, collapsing onto my body with a loud groan.

We lay like that for a few moments, his head in the crook of my neck, trying to catch our breath before he rolled off me. I could see him taking off the condom in my periphery before throwing it into what I hoped was a garbage but I was too overtaken by sleepiness to care.

Levi pulled one of the blankets over our bodies and I nestled into him, exhausted but utterly sated. He pulled me closer to him, my hands resting on the bare expanse of his chest and I fell asleep to his calming heartbeat.

“I love you.” He whispered so softly that I could have confused it for a wonderful dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the photo that inspired how Levi sits in a chair- or couch in this case :P- http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/010/b/8/shingeki_no_kyojin___levi_rivaille_render_by_lraskie-d71p3mz.png  
> All credits go to the artist! It's not mine!
> 
> Anyway this smut took me a full day to write and now I'm pretty much beat. I love RivaMika way too much not to add that in there but now it's going to be a free-for-all. Sigh. Anyway, this has almost reached the 300 mark! Yay! Thank you for continuing to put up with me and read this! I love all of you!


	12. Wanting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More yummies in this. Skip over if you don't like sexy-time guys!

Chapter 12: Wanting

 

I woke up slowly to the sounds of the city. I so did not want to open my eyes, I was sore all over. I gently rubbed sleep from my eyes and blinked. A smile came to my face as I felt something warm behind me. I moved closer instinctively, trying to cuddle up to the new source of heat. The same warmth was wrapped around my midsection and nestling up to me as well.

And then I remembered where I was. My eyes snapped open. I was staring at a brown wall, a cool grey blanket over my naked body. Pale light filtered in through a window off in front of me. I swallowed hard and turned my head ever so slowly. I was met with a sleeping Levi.

He looked so much different when he slept, all peaceful, his face not frowning or stoic, his eyes brows not scrunched up or eyes not in slits due to frustration over something. His breath came slowly, evenly, moving my bangs to the side each time. I smiled, my fear quelled in his expression. I turned to face him completely.

His hands wrapped tighter over me and pulled me closer to him. I held back my laughter. That was done on instinct on his part. It was kind of funny to me; I would have never thought him to be the snuggling type. Well, minus well take advantage of this, right?

I took my hands and gently dragged them along his strong arms, feeling at the warm skin that sent electricity down my body. Then I reached his shoulders, pressing them softly as if I was massaging him a little bit. I took a peek at Levi, to see if he was up but his eyes were still closed. I went back to my assault on his body.

My hands traveled down his pecks, my thumbs making small tracks of their own against his skin, enjoying the feeling of him beneath me, of his steady breaths. My palms went over his nipples and climbed further down, heading to his well-toned abs. These were the work of years of some serious exercise and I relished every one of them pressed against my hands as he breathed.

I stopped right at his hips and took a look at his face. This time I was met with a very much awake Levi, his eyes looking directly into mine, just staring at me like that. I blinked back at him, not saying anything in return.

“You are trying to tempt me, aren’t you?” He said, a serious expression on his face now, replacing the calm, peaceful one I liked. I raised a single eye brow and squeezed his hip a little.

“Hm.” I looked at his lips, then back at his eyes. “Am I?” I drew my hands a little further down, now dangerously below his stomach using my pointer finger to make very small circle right underneath his belly button, my nails delicately scratching along the way. Something dark passed over his eyes and he grabbed my hands as quick as a snake, snatching them up under the blanket and pulling me closer.

“You don’t know who you’re messing with.” He threatened, his eyes all predatory now as he took in my face, a hand sliding under my chin bringing my face up roughly to meet his gaze. I drew a sharp inward breath and immediately regretted letting him know what he did to me. His thumb trailed my bottom lip carefully, pulling it down ever so slightly. My heartbeat quickened. I wanted to be kissed so badly and he knew it.

He brought my face to his and I closed my eyes, ready for the feel of his lips on mine, drinking me in, parting to draw my tongue in but it never came. Instead his lips pressed into my forehead tenderly. I opened my eyes and looked back up at him again, drawing back. His eyes were normal again, teasing now. I pouted and grabbed for my pillow, throwing it at his face hard.

“You jerk.” I mumbled, pulling away from him and turning around so I could climb out of the bed. I needed to shower anyway.

Before my foot hit his floor my arm was grabbed and I was pulled backwards, crashing back onto the bed. Levi positioned himself to rest above me, leaning in on my right, caging my hands over my head. I was naked underneath him, my breaths coming in soft pants. He looked down on me, all desire again. He leaned closer, pressing his body into me but for some reason this wasn’t funny anymore.

“Am I not the one you screamed for yesterday?” He whispered hotly in my ear. My face turned beat red and if I could have gone on fire I would have right then and there. He nipped at my ear and I turned my head away.

“Levi…” I said softly.

“Am I not the one that sated that desire in you yesterday?” His tongue trailed hotly across my cheekbones heading for my mouth. I squeezed my eyes shut in fear, anxiety ruining any mood I had now. _Please, don’t._ My shallow voice came up in my head. Oh, god.

“Wait, Levi.” My voice was so small. _Please, stop it._

“Am I not the one that sets you on fire? That makes your blood run hot and your words disappear?” The only thing I was feeling was cold. The memories were starting to come back, each one starting to flash before my eyes. The grabbing, the ripping, the pulling. His grotesque tongue licking up my face.

Levi grabbed my hands a little tighter above me. I knew he didn’t know what was going on but in my reality he was him. He was trying to get at me again. He was trying to force me, to hurt me again. I started to shake and my eyes snapped open, my eyes widening in terror.

“Please stop!” I screamed out. I yanked at my hands violently, trying to pry them away from his grasp. I was there again, in the woods, on the floor in the cold of the night. No, not this again, Oh, god please. Please! I brought my hands up and pushed away Levi, in my own head, the memories swallowing any reality that stood before me.

Levi snapped out of it just as quickly and let me go. He must have realized what was going on because he brought his hands up instead in a surrendering position in front of him. I flailed about, trying to tear the memories from me head, screaming.

 _This isn’t real. This isn’t real! Stop it, just stop it!_ I scratched at my face, trying to claw it away. Levi reacted immediately.

“Mikasa. It’s not real. It’s me, **Levi**.” He rushed urgently. He grabbed for my hands to restrain me and brought my flailing body in a hug, trapping me close to him. “It’s me. It’s just me.” He said calmly, his hands finding themselves in my hair and pulling me closer.

He was so incredibly warm against me, soothing and comforting and just there. I focused in on that, using him as a solid point. I closed my eyes and just breathed in the scent of him, letting his musk that was so masculine and the faint smell of tea invade my senses.

My head rested along his chest and his arm was wrapped around my back just holding me there while I calmed down. My body lulled back to normal, my breathing shallow but no longer fast. I kept my eyes closed, letting everything I saw fade away slowly. _This was Levi. This was not him, the man that tried to hurt me._ I repeated that in my head over and over, trying to return back to reality.

It was a while before I took a deep breath and very gingerly moved myself away from Levi. I didn’t want to look at him for fear that he would think I was insane. The past just wouldn’t stay the past, and it will always haunt me just like this until every last fiber of my being is spent and I’d give up. That’s what I believed.

“I-I’m…” I took another deep breath. “I’m sorry. I should go.” I looked down at my hands as I said it, completely mortified. I was so damaged. No one wanted to deal with this, not even me. I bit back the tears of frustration. How could I be so stupid!

Levi did not let me go though. Instead he moved to get a better look at me. I wouldn’t meet his eyes for anything, so he sighed in irritation and brought his hand up catching my chin and bringing my face up to meet his. I closed my eyes. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t survive being broken again.

“Mikasa, look at me.” He demanded. I opened only one eye slowly and when I saw his face both of my eyes opened in shock.

He wasn’t mad and in those eyes I could tell he didn’t think I was crazy. No, instead he looked pained, worried, frightened not _of_ me but _for_ me. They were dark but so clear, a protectiveness different from the one my brother showed me.  He didn’t let me go.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t know- didn’t understand.” His gaze shifted between my grey eyes. “But I would never let that happen to you again. Ever.” He said it so seriously and there was absolutely no room for debate in those words. He completely meant what he said. “You don’t have to be afraid like that again. And if you are, share it with me. You don’t have to take that on by yourself anymore. I’m here and I’m not leaving.” He promised, his voice soft. I looked into those eyes, wanting so badly to believe those words. “You can trust me.” He looked determined and right there I knew that he was serious, that he meant every word he said right now.

No words would come to me. I was so unimaginably grateful and the feelings of being cared for, of actually being loved, that all speech was gone. Tears sprang to my eyes. Instead of speaking, I decided to show him in another way.

I brought Levi down to me and I kissed him, all my love and adoration for this one man thrown into that kiss. It was different from the others. This was slow, sweet, just _feeling_ each other and our lips moving together, his hair and all of its fluffiness and the way he grabbed my hair and pulled me into his lap. Or the way I straddled his hips and how perfectly my body molded to his like we were made for each other.

Things started to heat up again as I pressed myself into him harder, feeling his low growling in my own chest. I sighed into his mouth, grinding into his hips, wanting him inside me again. His tongue darted forward, twining and twirling on mine. I grabbed at his back and clawed down eliciting a growl. I could feel his erection now needing to find release.

I pushed my forehead against his to catch a breath. “Why is it that we do this right after having some emotional turmoil or something?” Levi let out a puff of air in a sort-of-laugh.

“Because I like it when you’re angry.” His hand snaked behind my head and he kissed me roughly, taking the breath right out of me. My hand snaked down his stomach and landed on what I most desired, his raging hard-on.

I grabbed it in my hand and felt it twitch against me. Levi kissed me harder, then slipped his tongue out of my mouth and decided to bite my bottom lip. I smiled against him, rubbing the head of his cock. He let out a small groan, almost hissing.

His hand snaked up to my breast, giving it a firm squeeze and pinching the pink nub or sensitive flesh. I sighed, my body flushing a pink color. I thumbed the head of his cock, liking the feel of it against me, of rubbing it until it started to leak pre-come. It gave me a sense of power over this one man.

Levi had moved his head, kissing my cheek and my ear tenderly, sweetly. He went down the side of my neck, licking and sucking the skin there. I giggled, tilting my head slightly.

“Uhm. That tickles!” I said breathily. Levi just looked up at me darkly, continuing his assault on my throat. I drew in a sharp breath when he bit at the spot where my neck met my shoulder and I bit my lip to stop from moaning loudly. Levi kissed my collar bone, going further down where he kissed my chest and then the place before my cleavage, still palming at my other breast. He went further still until his breath tickles my perky nipple, my skin prickling at the sensation. I writhed beneath him, grinding further on top of him, my hands still pumping his cock.

He licked at my nipple as if tasting it. Just the feel of his tongue on me made me shiver with want, my eyes half closing to relish the feeling, a sigh escaping my lips. I was so hot and he was not helping me at all here. He sucked in my nipple between his teeth and gently rolled it and my breath hitches in my throat. He put enough pressure to make me feel the bitter bite of pain but it was not harsh. Instead it was the opposite and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I cried out in ecstasy, feeling my body quake, my back arching against him, my legs not being able to hold me up anymore and I leaned into Levi, my forehead pressed into his shoulder, my sweat mixing with his and creating a wonderful medley of our scents. All of the sounds, the sucking, the panting, the ruffling of sheets was sending me over the edge.

“I-I can’t.” I panted. Levi sucking my nipple into his mouth, sucking it hard. His other hand left my aching breast and trailed down my side before making its way to my torso, moving calloused fingers against my ribs and palming my abs, going lower. I kissed his shoulder, anticipating where he was going with this, teasing him with my tongue. I sucked at the smooth skin there, tasting him, his sweat, the aroma that was so _him_ taking over my senses. I stopped pumping him, instead tracing my hands on his hard stomach, tracing the lines and planes of his body with my own fingers. His body was perfectly sculpted, reminding me of a Greek statue.

He paused right at the front of me, his hands so dangerously close to my clit. I whimpered, wanting him to go there with me, my need pushing me closer to his hand hovering at the front of me.

He looked at me then, his eyes silently asking for permission, all the passion radiating towards me like sun waves, heating me up, embracing me in his warmth. My knees grew weak against him and I leaned more into him for support and I just nodded at him, inviting him to do with me what he will.

His lips were on mine again in seconds, his mouth sucking in my lips and teasing my mouth open. Our tongues tangled in each other and I sighed into him, grazing my tongue on his teeth. At the same time, he used his fingers to part my folds and when his fingers brushed against my clit a moaned into his mouth in pleasure, kissing him that much harder.

It felt so good, to be touched, to be wanted like this. It felt like he had the power to wipe away all the bad in my past, to make me forget about the terrible curse I had been condemned to. Like he could make all the spirits go away with the snap of his fingers, wash all the pain and all the hurt I had ever felt, all the negativity that was thrown at me from the first time I could see those hellish spirits.

My hands went to his back and I could feel his rippling muscles underneath. I dug my nails into his back, gripping at him tightly, pressing myself more closely into him. I moved my lips along his jawline, making sure to reach every part of him that I could and he rubbed at me again, sending a wave of heat and desire to my most intimate parts. I bit my lip to stop from sighing. I will not do it. I will _not_ moan again. I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing what he does to me.

Yet I involuntarily rocked my hips against him. Fuck.

I would not meet his eyes, instead choosing to nip at his earlobe, bringing it between my teeth and biting down. This earned me a slap on my ass, which I retaliated with more scratching down his back.

“You wanna play like that, then?” Levi said in a husky voice. I could tell he was restraining himself, but I could also tell that he was going to do something awful- and by awful I meant amazing and kinky.

Levi had shifted himself now in mere seconds so that I landed back first into the bed, my hair splayed down before him and my legs still wrapped around him. I stared up at him as he took in the sight of me, my swollen lips and reddened skin and the way I moved my knees together, needing him inside me.

“Wha- mmph” He wrapped one hand around my hip and the other more towards my upper torso and just like that I was flipped around, my face meeting the bed sheets and my question cut off completely into a muffled phrase. I didn’t stay like that for long. He grabbed both of my hips firmly and pulled me back against him and I could feel his heat again. I used my hands to support myself, now on all fours, breathing heavily and confused.

“Open your legs.” He commanded and I looked back at him. His eyes took on that ‘no questions’ kind of look, as much dark and dangerous as they were primal and hungry and I just so happened to be his meal. I bit my lip, deciding to be obstinate and fight him.

“No.” I looked back at him hard, challenging. I wanted to see where he was going with this and just what he had in that sinfully sexy head of his.

He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was going to say, as if he anticipated just that. I gripped hard at the sheets, balling them up in my fist. He moved his arms, his hands starting at my ankle and then moving up my leg so slowly yet so comfortingly. It sent hot waves of desire up my body and I already knew I was wet. It was starting to do down my thighs. I bit my lip hard again, trembling in front of my captor against my will.

He leaned into me ever so slightly and I could feel the hit his member was giving off. His body was like a flame to me, and I was the sad moth that had been enraptured by it. His hands found the bottom part of my thighs and he gripped them tightly. I threw my head into the sheets refusing to meet his cruel eyes. He was still toying with me.

“Still not going to listen?” He asked in a deep voice, his thumbs making small circles over the back of my thighs, taunting me, willing me to listen to his every command. Well, two can play at this.

“N-no.” Fuck, my voice betrayed me. I winced at my own stupid mistake, knowing that he would take advantage of my slip-up. I turned my head quickly to the left to see if I would catch a glimpse of him. What I was not expecting to see was the sultry smile or the flick of his tongue across his lips, and by the gods I wanted to break, the listen to his every command right then and there. He was excruciatingly sexy and every touch of his expert fingertips, the feel of his heat, his scent mixing with my own, the look in his eyes threatened to send me over the edge, but I did not give into it.

He moved away from me then, leaning to the right and I could hear a drawer opening quickly before closing again. I heard the low pop sound of a plastic bottle opening and then closing. Levi moved again behind me, something wet in his hands, the bed moving a little as he worked whatever new substance he had obtained. And then his hands were on my back and I could feel it.

“Jeez!” I tried to move away from him, startled by the cold of the lotion-like substance on my back but he made sure to hold me still, moving his hands deftly over me, working into my back and kneading the flesh there. What started as cold and bothersome quickly turned into something utterly relaxing. He had magic fingers and he knew what he was doing and I was rapidly turning into putty in his hands.

I turned my face away from the sheets needing the air to breathe, panting at the feel of his warm hands working my back, moving expertly to massage me from my shoulder blades and going lower, the pressure perfect and sending me off to a different world. It was bliss.

“Uhn, w-what are you doing?” I asked, slurring some of that together, my eyes closed. I didn’t want this to end. He was amazing in every way possible.

“Seeing just how far I can drive you into the ground.” He answered me, and then I noticed how low on my back he was. His hands had found my ass and he gave it a firm squeeze. I sighed, and he moved one of his hands to my hips as another one went somewhere different, somewhere a bit warmer and wet.

He used two fingers to part my already slick folds and found my clit, rubbing it roughly. My eyes widened and I arched my back, throwing my head back into the sheets. It was such a sudden change that I was not expecting him at all although my body was one step ahead of me.

“How. About. Now.” He alliterated every word with a rub to my sex bud making me lose his words with the feverish heat he was sending through my body. I moaned each time, my voice muffled by his sheets hopefully enough that he couldn’t hear me. What he could see is the way I pulled at his sheets in my hands, using them to take some of my reaction energy.

I shook my head side to side wildly, not giving up but deep down I knew it was only a matter of time before I gave in to him. He most definitely was not going to stop there.

The hand that held my hip left its place and then I felt something enter me. It was a finger and he sunk it deep in my heat at the same time he rubbed my clit and light burst before my eyes.

“Holy shit.” I cried out as my head snapped backwards. I just stopped myself from screaming but I could not stop the cry of joy before leaning back down. Levi leaned in closer to me, enough so that I could feel his erection at my ass.

“Still no?” He asked, his finger creating a welcomed rhythm inside me, pulling out and going in, pulling out and going in. I ground my teeth together and instead opted for a quick shake of my head, not trusting my voice to speak anymore. He plunged another finger into me, leaning in closer, going that much faster. I could hear the sighs vibrating in my throat but I did not open my mouth to let them out.

He rubbed my clit in a slow circle and combined with his fingers I was riding up an orgasm, climbing higher and higher as my body rocked against him, no longer listening to me. He went faster and added more pressure on my clit and his fingers moved against my walls, my body pulsating around his thrusting digits. I dug my nails into the bed, my breasts bobbing slightly at our movements.

“And now?” He taunted me, his fingers pushed deeper to hit that sweet spot just right and I lost it. My body came around him and I cried out in ecstasy as he kept his fingers still working inside of me, letting my ride it out and tremble beneath him in a heap of sweat and hot flesh. My brain was utterly clouded.

His fingers started to pull out of me just I was regaining my mind. I whimpered at the loss but was still too dizzy to tell him not to do such a thing. At the back of my mind I knew I could hear the ripping of a wrapper and Levi moving around a second before his hands wrapped around my hips, pulling me back into him again.

“I think now you’ll listen to me.” He declared and I could hear the smirk in his husky voice. I didn’t deny it. I loved where this was heading and I still felt I needed him. I nodded ever so slightly, praying he would just give me what I wanted without a fuss. Of course he wouldn’t. “What was that, Ackerman?” He jeered, his fingers squeezing my hips a little too tightly. Fuck.

“Yes.” I turned to him and glared straight into his face and although my head was still a bit foggy I made sure to hold his hungry eyes. He gave me a once over before his eyes met mine once again and in that one look I could see his claim over me. I was his, plain and simple and he was not going to let me off the hook so easily.

He buried his erection into me in a swift thrust, sinking into my heat with a low groan. I rasped out a ‘Fuck,’ my back arching as he took me, adjusting to his size for only a second before he pulled out of me and plunged himself back in, our bodies making wet slapping noises.

Levi gripped my hips firmly, moving me with him and I gladly let him. I did not want to readily accept his dominance but at the moment I did not particularly care. He moved so perfectly inside of me, pivoting his hips in a way as to reach the furthest in me, hitting that sweet spot over and over with reckless abandon. I was left to sigh and moan, my hair moving with me and I my bottom slapped repeatedly into Levi.

He moved languidly inside of me and he leaned over me, his lips finding a sensitive spot on my back, his tongue licking over it before his lips were on me. I could feel his hot breath spread over my back and the drip of sweat that fell from him to me. Our pants and groans rung in my ears, our pounding bodies the only noise I paid attention to.

“Oh my god, Levi.” I cried out, my voice an octave higher. His response was a low groan that vibrated back against me as he leaned back up to angle himself better in my. I closed my eyes, knowing that I was oh so close to another orgasm, my body squeezing him inside me to get him to come with me.

I licked my lips and pressed my forehead into the sheets, still bobbing with Levi. One of his hands moved over the front of me and found my clit, rubbing it as he thrust into me, our bodies colliding into each other.

“A-h, Levi. Levi. Levi.” I rolled my hips against him and he growled against me, thrusting harder. I was reaching my breaking point and by the sounds of it, he was too. He had only given me a few more thrusts before I lost it again.

“Levi!” I whimpered shakily, my muscled tensing to steady me against the orgasm. My body clenched around Levi as he thrust inside of me, my body shaking against the bliss that rolled through me. I clenched around him, my body trying to get him to reach his breaking point. It wasn’t that long before he gave one last moan and released his seed, his member twitching inside of me as he collapsed on me.

We fell to the bed in a heap of tired bodies and panting heavily. Levi was still inside of me, his body weight pressed into me lightly, our sweat rolling off into the bed sheets below. I didn’t mind the pressure of him on top of me, his heat combining with my own as we tried to regain ourselves from that hot and heavy moment.

It was a few moments before Levi rolled off to the side of me with a groan and I gave a little sigh when he pulled out of me. I turned myself to look at him, his eyes closed, a few strands of his dark hair clinging to his forehead as a thin sheen of sweat glistened in the late morning light. I moved to press myself into his arm, wrapping my arm around his torso, my fingers scraping down his abs. He was breathing evenly, his chest rising and falling steadily. I peppered a few kisses to his cheek, his cheekbone, the side of his mouth.

He opened his eyes to look at me, turning his head to face mine and moving it towards me. He kissed me hard, lovingly, passionately, our tongues once again finding each other, our breaths mixing as I sighed into his mouth. We pulled apart and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me until my head rested on his chest and his head lay on the top of mine. He gave my hair a kiss.

“You know,” He started, his finger tracing my back, “I think we might have a bookstore to run.”

 

 

“What the hell?” I was able to get out breathily, my hair disheveled and my jacket only on by one sleeve. I looked like a mess but I had run all the way here so that was to be expected. What I didn’t expect when I stormed into the shop was to see Eren and Armin at the front desk ringing people out and organizing books like good little workers. Bertolt was there too, looking nervously at me with a stack of books in his hands as if he did something wrong.

Eren shot a look towards me and his sales-like professional face went away, instead replaced with a scowl. He looked behind me just as Levi walked into the store and his eyes flickered between the two of us. I could almost see him putting two and two together, whatever assumption he had swimming in that pointed look as he sharpened his eyes on Levi. I swallowed and instinctively grabbed at my scarf, a slight blush coming over my cheeks. I moved inside choosing to focus on Armin.

“How did you two get in my store?” I asked him pointedly knowing that he would break under my third-degree glare as I fixed my coat, putting it on appropriately and closing all the buttons. He looked from Eren to Levi to me, seeming to gauge just how dangerous it was to release that information. I crossed my arms in front of me expectantly. He sighed.

“We had a key… But for good reasons!” He added in haste. My eyes widened in disbelief.

“What?!” I shouted and a few customers looked at me. I fumed but decided to lower my voice a bit. They already probably thought I was crazy by now, what with all the other stuff that happened. “How the hell did you get a key to _my_ store?” I huffed out between my teeth. Armin looked at the floor, a book held tightly in his hand. I kinda felt bad for yelling at him, but Eren would be getting a lot worse than this later.

“U-uhm… Eren got the number to the locksmith you went to to get the locks and he had them make him a copy.” He kicked at the floor, not meeting my eyes. I frowned and flicked my harsh eyes to Eren. Of course he did. He was a fucking FBI agent for Christ’s sake. He could pretty much get whatever information he wanted.

Well, he was going to get punched in the face today.

What that didn’t explain was the fact that he knew I wasn’t going to be here this morning in the first place. I turned to see Levi walk in the direction of the store computer, not bothering to ask any questions. That was very unlike him.

And then it clicked. He must have told him! When I was too busy freaking out in his house and showering, yelling about the time and my poor little store that was just getting off the ground, he must have sent Eren a text to open it for me. Or something like that. His concern was adorable and made my heart flutter a little, but it did not change the fact that my brother had went behind my back, gotten a key made for the store and is basically able to do whatever he wanted with it. It also did not change the fact that I was royally pissed the hell off.

“Ok.” I said simply, my voice low and dangerous. “Seeing as how all of you have this covered,” I gestured to the store, loud enough so that Eren and Levi turned to me, “I’m not really needed. Have a lovely time.” I turned on my heel and stormed to the door, swinging it open loudly, the bell erupting in harsh, sharp noises.

“W-wait!” Armin called out behind me but I slammed the door closed behind me, almost bumping into a poor pedestrian but not caring either way. I was too upset. I walked in whatever direction my feet were taking me. It didn’t really matter, I thought as I shoved my hands into my coat pocket.

I let the brutal wind attack my face as it zipped between buildings and dragged garbage along the streets, pulling my scarf up around my face a bit more. My eyes watered and my hair was thrown about but it didn’t really affect me too much. I tried to stay clear of the city spirit dwellers, not needing the extra attention from them, and the large snow piles. I did not need to fall in the snow right now.

Cars honked by and bicyclist weaved through the crowd expertly. The smells of different types of food- Italian, Spanish, Chinese- mixed into the air to create a simply decadent aroma and I decided a little food would probably be nice.

After stopping by a coffee shop and a random Japanese food store my hands were warmed by the coffee cup and the rest of the meat bun I was close to finishing. I chewed on the little piece of heaven, the spices tantalizing my tongue. It was almost hot enough to burn my mouth but that didn’t matter. The dough was crispy on the outside and perfectly chewy on the inside. It was amazing.

I polished off the food as I wound up at a crossroad. I could either turn into a park or walk more along the sidewalk. I chose to go to the small park. It was nice, the snow blanketing almost all of the floor in white. There were a few footstep impressions and a couple that were birds but it was otherwise still mostly untouched.

As soon as I got close to the swing set I noticed a small gray area, something giving off the tiniest of light in the corner of the slide. I knew immediately that it was a spirit. I sighed and gave the area a glance around before deciding to head over there. It must be a child stuck here.

I put my hand on the side of the slide and bent down towards the small figure. Their spirit was the color of a lilac flower, bright and calm, flowing in a swirling pattern in the middle of their torso. It was a small boy no older than ten in what appeared to be clothes from the early 1800’s, a dark coat wrapped around his shoulder and loose brown pants hanging on his waist. He was curled up on the floor, his knees drawn in looking down on the glittering snow.

“Hey,” I started softly. His eyes flicked to me, startled that anyone could see him. I smiled. “What’s up, kid? Are you lost?” I asked, kneeling down to his level. He moved away from me in the slightest, his hands going behind him as if he was going to fall over. “Wait, no, I’m not going to hurt you.” I put my hands up in surrender hoping he would understand. “I’m actually here to help you. What’s wrong?” I asked him calmly, patiently. He swallowed and looked me over as if trying to see the truth in my eyes. Then, as if deciding I was ok, he moved back into a sitting position.

“I-I don’t know what happened. I was climbing up a tree for my brother, trying to help him get down, and I heard something snap and I remember the air around me and then nothing.” He looked down on the ground and he stretched his hand out, using his finger to manipulate the snow and draw a pattern. I watched him work.

Stories like these always tug on my heart. It’s why I hated seeing what I did, having to deal with all the sorrow of being lost in this world, of not being able to move on from others that were not able to communicate with the living. It was an awful fate, filled with loneliness and fear and I despised it. But I also knew that I liked helping them fulfill their reason for being here, to have them cross over. This gift was one born out of death, but it was one that could also help save lives.

“Ok. I understand.” I looked back into his pale, once-brown eyes. He looked so sad and afraid, his heart closed off to everyone and everything. I hoped to change that. “Can I ask you something though?” I inquired with a small smile. He nodded. “Is there anything you want to do now? I know most people probably can’t see you or hear you, and that you’ve been sad for a very long time here by yourself but you must have something you want to do, right? Something fun maybe?” I looked back to his drawing- he had created a single bunny. I put my own finger into the snow, replicating his design but making it bigger. A momma bunny was born and I drew a heart around the two. Then I took my frozen finger in my hand to warm the stinging digit from the cold. He smiled at the picture and turned to me a warm expression on his once sad face.

“A-actually, there might be one thing…” Fiddling with the bottom of his frayed coat nervously, his eyes flickered from me back to the coat. I stood up with a smile and beamed down at him, holding my hand out to him kindly.

“Ok. Anything.” I promised him sincerely. He looked a bit shocked, like he had not seen this kind of kindness in so long, which he probably hadn’t. He slowly brought his hand to meet mine and when he gingerly placed his in mine I had to stop myself from flinching.

_“Mom, I got him!” He called out. It was a warm Fall day and his brother was dangling on the tree, too scared to come down. A few of his friends stood at the bottom of it, cheering him on._

_“Get down here this instant you two!” Screamed a panicked lady below him but he ignored it. He focused on climbing higher, needing to get his brother._

_“Don’t worry, Timmy.” He called out bravely, his hands touching a thin branch. He moved unsteadily on it. “I got you.” His eyes were on his crying little brother. He didn’t notice that he had thrown his weight entirely onto a particularly fragile part of it. It happened in a second._

_The tree snapped._

_He fell._

_And it was lights out._

“Miss?” He held my hand tightly and I snapped my eyes open, thrown back into the real world. I was breathing heavily. I took a deep breath to calm myself, needing to assure him that everything was going to be ok, that I was not crazy or scary.

“So what would you like to do today?”

 

“Did you have fun?” I turned us into a secluded part of the museum behind a plant expo, needing to talk to him personally without looking like a crazy person talking to herself. It was already close to eight by now- not that I had a phone to check, sigh- and we had spent the whole day just looking at every inch of the American Museum of Natural History. He wanted me to read every little thing to him and then I had to explain to him all the new things he saw- which included almost everything he laid his eyes on seeing as he was from the late 1870’s and it was almost 200 years passed that time. It was all very tiring and I got so many nasty looks at me that I couldn’t even count them anymore.

“Yes! That was so much fun!” He ran around in a circle, his eyes lit up with life and his spirit shining an even brighter purple color. He ran to me and gave me a hug, his little arms wrapped around my torso. A snap of emotions flitted into my head- joy, happiness, fun replacing the earlier feelings of isolation and fear. I bent down to him and gave him a proper hug, my heart warm and bubbly.

“I’m glad.” I told him, petting his hair and closing my eyes. We stood like that for a few more seconds before I felt the warmth that came from behind him. It was time for him to do now.

I stood up taller and looked in the direction of the warmth, again not seeing anything but knowing what was there and what had to happen next. It was a sad moment for me. This kid was so adorable and friendly and his life had been so short. He could have done so much, been anything and it was all ended in the blink of an eye. I held back my sorrow, feeling my eyes grow warm with unshed tears. I would not let him see me cry.

“What’s that?” He asked me, turning to look in the direction the warmth radiated from. I put a hand down on his shoulder.

“That’s where you need to go now. It’s a safe place for children just like you.” I explained hoping he couldn’t hear the sadness in my voice. “It’s time for you to go on to somewhere better, Bobby.” I had found out his name earlier, remembering his toothy smile when we played the guessing game for it. He turned back to the light.

“Are you sure?” He asked me, fear tinged in his voice. I gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Absolutely. It’s perfectly safe there. Now go on.” I patted him forward on the tush, making sure he walked towards that warmth. When he got close, he stopped and I thought he was going to run away. But then he turned to me with one of the happiest smiles I had seen in a long time, waved frantically, turned and disappeared into the light.

The warmth was gone in an instant and I was left standing there by myself as people hustled and bustled around me. I let the tears free fall down my face, a sense of pride flitting in my stomach. I don’t know why but that kid had seriously touched me and I was honestly sad to see him go.

I stifled a sob and wiped the tears away with my sleeve. No more crying. I needed to get back to the shop anyway. I straightened my coat and tied my jacket around me more tightly, ready to go back outside and into the real world.

_Bye, Bobby._

 I stepped outside into the cold and a few flurries blew past me and into the museum. I squinted at the cold but walked ahead anyway, knowing that I had a kind of long walk ahead of me. I tugged my scarf up to cover my nose and half my face.

New York City was something else at night, I noted as I walked along the sidewalk, watching for patches of ice. Store signs lit up and spilled light onto the streets. People of all kinds walked in and out of stores with bags in their hands doing some shopping in the City that Never Sleeps. And not once did they notice the spirits that walked alongside them, the spirits that they literally walked through on a daily basis. It looked so easy to be normal and I could remember it so clearly. I took for granted such a simple life of not seeing, of not knowing what was really out there. I missed all of it dearly.

I turned into a bustling street, dodging a young couple and an old lady who did not meet my pace. The street was darker than the rest but I could still see everything in front of me. Some of the stores here were not open which I was surprised about. Maybe this street didn’t get a lot of business at night.

For some reason I could feel a pair of eyes on the back of my head. I slowed down a little to look behind me but all I saw were crowds of people walking around normally, calling taxis of heading into stores. I turned back ahead, quickening my steps a little.

I turned off of the road, heading in the direction I thought I had come from earlier this afternoon. Again, I was not a city dweller so I pretty much had no clue where I was going. I was walking on gut instinct and memory, trying to recall the streets I had turned onto to get to the museum. This road was almost devoid of people, a few stragglers walking around hurriedly in whatever direction they needed to go along with the occasional spirit. I pinched the bridge of my nose, cursing myself for not having charged my phone.

I heard the sound of rustling to the right of me and I stopped in my tracks as a loud crash came from the direction. I jumped and turned towards a dark alley, the only light coming from apartment building windows but not enough to see exactly what was there. A large, dark shape stood at the far corner, not moving. I was frozen in fear, looking to see if there was a spirit to accompany it, a color that would give me it’s type- a Dark One or Bright One.

I reached to my arm to produce my salt, just in case. My hands felt at the empty air and I glanced down. Well, shit. I didn’t have my purse, I remembered. I had left in at my place yesterday along with my protective objects to ward off, repel, and vanquish evil spirits. I gulped and looked back to the dark figure.

It had moved and grown, swallowing the entire alley in black. I stared in horror as it came towards me, willing myself to move. A harsh, garbled voice echoed from back there.

“You. You are the one we have been searching for.” It screeched out. That voice snapped me out of my frozen state and I turned to sprint away as fast as I could, hot fear electrifying my body to move, to get as far away from it as possible.

That was not a spirit. There was no soul to accompany that, no previous marking that it had once been a human-turned-Dark One. That was something else entirely and I the face of that woman at my store came back to me, her sneer, her distorted voice. If not a Dark One, then the only option was… was a demon.

I ran for as long as I could, smashing into people left and right and not uttering an apology. I was vaguely aware of where I was going, deciding that at that moment it really didn’t matter. All I needed was to get away. To get far away from the thing that I was certain was going to harm me. My scarf fell down my face as I ran, the wind chaffing my skin.

When I knew my lungs wouldn’t be able to stand it anymore, I slowed down, opting for a fast walk as I brought my hand to my chest and flat out huffed and puffed. I glanced behind me and was met with a woman who was talking on the phone, a Macy’s bag in her hand. Her eyes met mine and she glared at me. I turned back to looking straight ahead, slipping on a chunk of ice of the floor but holding my balance.

After somewhat catching my breath and calming my frazzled nerves I went off to the side to figure out just where I was. To be honest, I pretty much had no idea. I bit my lip, panic starting to rise. My eyes landed on a pay phone and I couldn’t help but be thankful that those things were still around. I walked past a group of meandering teenagers and headed to it, recalling the only number in my head that I could remember clearly. I inserted my money, waited for the dial tone and called the number.

“Hellooooo?” Came a weary voice.

“Hey, Sasha. I seem to be lost. Wanna come find me?” I sighed into the phone, not liking being helpless and stranded. She was utterly surprised, going into a rant about how the city was dangerous and that I was crazy to not have my cellphone charged and I listened patiently. Then she told me she would be there in five minutes- which I didn’t doubt- and I gave her all the information I could as the where I was. We hung up and she made me promise I wouldn’t do anything stupid for the time being.

Like I wanted to do this in the first place.

I went off to a bricked over wall and leaned against it, pressing the heel of my foot to it and pulling my scarf back up under my nose to cover my lips from the cold. I prayed I wouldn’t get sick.

I noticed that the teenagers were looking at me and laughing about something and I ignored their banter. They could say whatever they wanted at this point. I was way too scared and tired to care about it all that much.

It was only a little while before I heard the telltale shouting of my best friend as she came barreling down the road, dodging people and grabbing random strangers shoulders to hop up and down and call out my name.

“Mikasa! Yoohooooo!” She shouted. I face palmed myself in embarrassment. She was going to get us shot. Really.

“Hey, Sasha.” I waved to her, leaning away from the wall to meet her. The kids laughed again off somewhere behind me.

“Dumbass.” I heard from their direction.

“What a fucking loser. What is she, a fucking baby?” They erupted in laughter. I bit my lip, deciding not to get into a fight with kids ten years younger than me. But that did not mean my friend wouldn’t.

Apparently she had been close enough to hear that, and her eyes gleamed with anger. I could have sworn they went red and she gave out a battle cry, turning her attention away from me and towards the teenagers.

“What did you say?!” She shouted. She ran past me and the wind from her sprint smacked me in the face before I turned around in time to see her clothing line a kid.

“W-wait-” I tried to reach out to stop her to no avail.

“You little butt-munchers have no idea who you’re messing with!” She roared. The kids all scrambled away in shouts of fear and Sasha kicked one in the back enough to propel one forward into the other. They regained themselves as she ran after them, then stopped to shout at them. “Tell that to your mothers!” She shouted, waving a fist into the air. She generated enough stares to concern me by now and someone looked like they were on the phone with the cops. Shit.

“Come on. We have to go.” I walked up to her, grabbed her hands and proceeded in a different direction. She was adjusting the sleeve of her jacket with a crazed smile on her face, her eyes lit up from the mediocre fight.

“Like I was going to let them rag on my friend. I knew you would have let them go.” She accused. I glared at her.

“Ya, that’s because I’m an _adult_ and they are _kids_. That’s what they do. Beating them up is not what _adults_ do to random children on the street.” I chastised her, although I did think she was hilarious. My smile was hidden under my scarf.

“Ya but…” I cut her off.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” We stopped at a red crossing sign and I let go of her hand. We were a good distance away from the previous commotion already. I don’t think the cops would find us now, or, well, I hoped they wouldn’t. “Just get me close to my bookstore. I want to close it up and I haven’t been there all day.” I explained. The light went green and we crossed the road, walking along the sidewalk again.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re coming with me.” She pointed to herself with her thumbs, grabbed my hand with a vice-like grip and dragged me down a different road. I tried to pull out of her hold but she was stronger than a lot of people gave her credit for. That was not going to work. I gave up.

“Jeez, really.” I said in a hushed tone.

“Yes, really. We haven’t talked for a while and I canceled on you. Now you are going to come to my place whether you like it or not. I’ll make you something yummy!” She said in a sing-song voice, skipping along. Her brown ponytail swung around with her bouncing and her sneakers skid along the pavement.

“Ya, ya.” I followed her, looking down at our clasped hands. Although this was not what I expected- which was pretty much becoming the norm for me- I was grateful for her. She was warm and real to me. She was a dose of cheery Sasha that I really needed, a close friend I trusted dearly. After that dark experience, I really needed this. I squeezed my hand lightly, happy to be where I was right now. If she felt it, she knew not to ask about it.

We reached a shotty looking place where a group of twenty year olds stood at the front, mingling. I raised an eyebrow but did not question it. She kicked the door open and I caught it before it closed in my face. She let go of my hand to jam a finger into the elevator button, then she clasped her hands together in front of her rocking back and forth on her heels and whistling a random tune.

“So is Connie feeling any better?” I asked when the door opened and a group of people sardined in there pooled out. We entered shortly after and Sasha pressed the close button repeatedly, then her floor.

“Ya. It was a stupid cold and he had me slaving for him and cooking and cleaning but he promised to pay me back in full.” She pounded a fist into her open hand, a dark gleam in her eyes. “And I have a lot planned for him.” She almost cackled. I reminded myself not to get on her bad side, like ever.

I nodded and we waited for the elevator to stop and open. I followed her out and to her door and she unlocked it, holding it open for me. I stepped into the warm place and was almost immediately knocked over by a huge dog.

“Oh, Hunter, sit! Don’t attack my friend!” She waved around frantically, grabbing for the dogs collar. I brought my hands to his shoulders to hold him back but by the way his tail wagged and his tongue lolled out he wasn’t going to hurt me. He was just excited.

I bent down to pet him, scratching behind his ears. He was a brown and black German Shepard with a medium-large build and plenty of muscle. He sat down at my feet and rolled over trying to get me to pet his stomach. I obliged, giving him a good tummy rub.

“Since when did you have a dog?” I turned my attention back to my frantically moving friend. She was trying to clear a path to what looked like her kitchen. This place was pretty much a mess, papers and clothes strewn on the floor and a broom lying in the middle of her living room by a haphazard stack of magazines.

“Ah, actually I found him wandering around a few days ago so I took him.” She said over the banging of pots and pans.

“So you stole him.” I stood up and waited for the dog to stand too so I could move to where my crazy friend was.

“No! He looked hungry and I know that feeling and it’s just _awful_!” She groaned the word. She was being completely honest here. I smiled, unwrapping my scarf a bit and unbuttoning my coat to place it on her chair. “So I took him.” She added noodles to a pot and set it to boil, grabbing a small pack of meat and seasoning it carefully but expertly. I knew she could cook but seeing her work right now was almost mesmerizing. Her hands were exact working to stab and cut into the flesh perfectly and with the least movement she could manage. She chopped up some vegetables in perfect time and added them to another pan, throwing something of a light brownish- a glaze maybe- on top to sizzle and stirring it.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you could cook.” I pointed to her work. She turned to me and smiled stupidly.

“Ya. I’m pretty ok I guess.” She rinsed her hands and grabbed something from the fridge, a glass bowl filled with dough, grabbing a huge handful of it and messing around with it in her hands, molding it to the shape she wanted. She arranged it onto a non-stick pan, put a few thin slices on the top of it, turned on the oven and set it in there, slamming the oven closed.

“I’m going to find your charger.” I told her, moving from the kitchen to the living room and searching for anything that looked to be the type of USB or charger would take. I stepped over strewn pillows and Xbox wires still plugged into the system and lying there ready to get stepped on. I sighed at my friends’ messiness.

“It’s by the lamp and the table thingy!” She yelled from the kitchen. There was an increase in sizzling coming from over there so I could guess she probably added the meat to another pan. “Woohoo!” She shouted in excitement over the loud noise. I stifled a laugh.

“Thanks.” I called back to her, finally finding what I was looking for. I grabbed my phone from deep in my pocket and plugged it in, placing it on the table to charge. The dog came up behind me and licked at my hand and I gave him a few quick once over pets before going back to the kitchen.

Sasha was bouncing about and multitasking like a maniac, stirring this or adding that. I stayed away from the tazmanian devil, opting to grab a glass from her dishwasher and pour myself something to drink. Something with a little kick to it like, say, the Vodka and cranberry juice lying around in her fridge. I mixed the two and chugged it down like a champ. When I looked back up she was staring at me with a sly smile.

“Sorry. I needed that.” I shrugged at her. She turned back to the food.

“What happened to you? You don’t usually drink.” She inquired, flipping the contents of one of her pans high into the air. It landed right back onto the pan, a steady fire burning underneath. The house filled with warmth and the aroma of decadent food and my stomach gave a gurgle in protest. I hadn’t eaten much all day. I poured myself another drink. Maybe it would suffice with that for now.

“Just some shit… people.” I mumbled and walked to the table with the bottle and juice. I sipped on the drink and frowned. “Eren’s being an ass. Apparently he used his badge to get a copy of the key to my store.” I told her, recalling the earlier conversation I had with him. It was still bugging me but that wasn’t the real reason why I was so messed up right now. I couldn’t tell her the real reason though. She might reject me…

“Maybe he’s just looking out for you. Woah!” I looked over to her just as she threw the contents of one of the pans onto a cream colored plate, just getting it on there by mere inches. She moved to another plate. The smell of fresh bread wafted into the room then and I inhaled deeply, loving it.

“Ya but there’s a difference between looking out for me and being an ass. He was being an ass. And that reminds me, I need to punch him.” I took a hearty swig of the drink and slammed it down on the table. Sasha was busy pouring her noodles into a strainer so I went back to my thoughts for a little, watching her work.

“Of course he’s gonna keep an eye on you like that. I mean after what happened before…” She paused for effect, her voice going small. The she shook her head. “Why don’t you just tell him to stop being so uptight about you. You’ve taken care of yourself just fine for years. Things crap happen to the best of us. I’m not saying he has to stop caring. Just tell him to lay off!” She boomed as she added the creamy sauce filled with various vegetables to the pasta. Then she pulled on some oven mittens and threw open the oven to grab at the bread. Her mouth was open and her eyes glazed over when she looked at it. I was afraid she was going to just swallow the whole thing there but she was able to hold herself back.

“I love bread!” She hopped up and down, a knife in her hand.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be jumping when, you know, you have a knife in your hand.” I warned her. She stopped and proceeded to cut the freshly baked dough. It was steaming in her hands, little puffs of smoke billowing out and getting lost in the air. She cut a small piece for me and took the rest for herself. I breathed out a laugh expecting such a thing from her. She spun around with the plates in her hand and two forks between her fingers. I stood up to grab her a glass too.

“You want the same thing as me?” I asked her as I opened her fridge to see what else she had.

“Sure, why not.” She was already sitting down and devouring the food in front of her. I added some ice to her cup and took my seat as well. “This is soooo good!” She muffled out between bites of meat and pasta. I don’t know how she didn’t choke with all that food in her mouth.

“If you choke, I don’t know CPR.” I handed her the glass of redish purple liquid. She swallowed everything that was in her mouth in a second flat and gulped down the drink, sighing in content.

“Ya! This is goooood!” She cried out. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought she was actually getting off on eating but I did know her. I grabbed my fork and knife and dug in, shoveling a fork full of pasta and meat into my mouth. It was surprisingly really fucking good and I know I shouldn’t have been surprised but damn. She really could cook. My eyes widened in shock and I looked at her.

“Don’t be so surprised! I told you I liked making food! I mostly like to eat it though.” She added as she lightly wacked at my shoulder. I smiled at her, going back to eating the food. A added a piece of bread here and there, my fork scraping against the plate.

“So anything else happen?” She raised an eyebrow at me expectantly. I thought for a second and Levi’s face flashed into my head, along with flashes of what we had done hours before. I couldn’t contain the blush that rose to me cheeks and I wound up coughing on the bread I had tried to swallow. “So there is! Tell me, tell me!” She bobbed up and down on the chair as I swallowed more of my drink, the liquid leaving a slight sting as it warmed up my throat and stomach. I could feel the buzz now.

“It’s nothing really.” I went back to eating so that I didn’t have to look at her demanding gaze. She was not going to take that lie.

“Oh, come on! You never blush! Ever! Tell me.” She placed her face on the table so that her cheek was flush against it staring me down with a huge, goofy smile. I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Ok, ok.” I gave up. I put the fork down on the plate and swirled the drink in my hand, staring at the sloshing liquid. “I think I told you about the guy Eren had hired without my knowledge, right?” She nodded frantically, her head still on the table. I continued. “Well I guess I’ve been kinda sort of seeing him…?” I raised an eyebrow at my drink. Can you call two times at a shotty dinner and some wild sex dating? I wasn’t so sure. But Sasha was.

“Oh my god! You finally have a boyfriend?! It’s a miracle!” She shot up from the table and put her fist out in triumph. I glared at her. “You were always so worried about Eren all the time that I thought you had a brother complex!” I gasped, my face turning a furious shade of red and she screamed, dodging the fork I had thrown at her. “What, I’m sorry, I’m sorry but I’m serious! I know you had a boyfriend before a while back but you didn’t tell me much other than the fact that you lost your virginity and you guys split ways. I was seriously worried about you and your sad sex life!” I grabbed for the bottle and she ran behind the wall as quick as a fleeing rabbit. I stared daggers at her.

“My sex life has nothing to do with you!” I shouted back at her, looking around for more things to throw at her. A knife would be ok, right? She howled in laughter.

“Ahhhahahahaaa! I’m just messing with you, jeez Miks. Don’t kill me!” She ducked in time to just miss getting a magazine thrown at her face. It instead smacker her arm and she shrieked. I was grabbing for a book when I heard her apartment door open. The dog barked and I heard the skidding of its nails on the floor before the shout of a fearful Connie. Something crashed off to the side.

“Sasha, get this dog!” He shouted angrily and something else fell over in the hallway. Sasha erupted into laughter and I couldn’t help my laughter either. It bubbled out of me and I closed my eyes and just let it come, let the happiness flow out in that moment. Sasha was bent over, wiping at her eyes and waving around.

“Hunter, come here!” She called, finally walking over to the hallway and disappearing behind the other wall. I heard Connie yell again and the dog came running over to me. I looked at my plate and grabbed him a piece of the juicy meat, tossing it to him. He chomped happily on it and returned to the living room.

“Hi Connie.” I called out, making sure he knew I was here. There was a hushed couple of whispers before he popped his bald head out of the corner. I waved at him, toying again with my scarf.

“Hey, Mikasa. What brings you here?” He threw his jacket on the floor which earned him a slap from my friend. Maybe this mess was not caused by Sasha after all.

“I was dragged here.” I informed him. “Do you want a drink?” I got up to grab another cup.

“Sure, I’ll take one.” He walked over to the pots and pans and inspected the contents. “You left me no bread, Sasha! Fuck!” He stared angrily at my whistling friend who ignored him. I decided not to interfere in their conversation and went to making the easy drink.

When I finished it Connie was sitting at the table and Sasha was leaning behind him, eyeing the plate. She flicker her hand out and stole a piece of meat and before he could even protest she had swallowed it. I stopped from laughing at her and handed Connie the drink.

“Thanks.” He grumbled, probably still angry. I grabbed my drink and sipped at it again.

“So Mikasa here was just telling me…” I punched Sasha hard in the arm before she continued her sentence, knowing just where she was going with it. “Ouch!” She rubbed at the sore spot. Connie knew not to get in the middle of us. He had learned the hard way when we both almost kicked his ass into the ground a few years back. “That Eren was being an ass to her.” She pouted at me but I just crossed my arms and took another sip of the alcohol. My head was starting to pulsate a little and I felt light and bubbly. _I should probably stop drinking this_ , I thought somewhere far off in the back of my mind. I made myself another drink.

“Actually, do you guys happen to know a Jean? Or a Marco Bodt?” I tipped my head slightly to the side. Sasha, who was pouring herself another drink, almost dropped the glass. Connie stopped mid-chew to look at me like a deer in headlights. “Um, is there something on my face?”

“Wait, how do you know those two?” Sasha said in a high pitched voice. Connie went back to chewing.

“Marco works at the store and Jean sassed me almost a week ago. I hired him a little while ago and I’m just curious.”

“Well, ya we know them! We went to school with them, didn’t we Connie?” Sasha elbowed him excitedly. He jerked forward and shot her a dark look before nodding.

“Ya, ya we did. I actually shared a dorm with them.” He polished the food off and downed the drink in one go. Then he poured himself another. We were running out of alcohol by now.

“Cool. He’s still in college now though. I wonder what he’s majoring in.” I grabbed at my scarf and tipped the cup to my lips before noticing it was bone dry. I put it down and my eyes fell to the clock on the stove. “Oh god.” I stood up abruptly and put my hand on the table to steady my dizzying head. Wait, did Connie have two heads? I blinked it away.

“What?” Sasha looked at me, then at the clock.

“I actually have to go now.” I walked- and stumbled- to their living room where I grabbed for my phone and turned it on. The dog got up, probably edgy because of my own emotions. I had left them alone for this long without a phone call of a single message. I felt guilty, the harsh pang echoing in my stomach. No, no, he did this. It was Eren and Levi’s fault.

“Ok. Here.” Sasha gave me my coat and I thanked her, heading back to the hallway where I had entered to throw on my boots. I gave her a quick hug. My phone went off multiple times in my pocket. I wasn’t surprised at all that they had tried to contact me. I wrapped my hand around it as Sasha opened the door. “Come back soon, Miks! Don’t be a stranger! I make good food you know!” She shouted into the hallway, her voice echoing off the walls. Loud music came from behind one of the doors and I heard a baby cry out.

“Ya ok. Bye, Sasha.” I gave her a single wave before entering the open elevator door, ignoring my reeling headache and the spirit sitting in the corner mulling to itself. The door closed and I leaned into the cool metal of the wall.

Ya, I had too many drinks.

I burst out of the door to her apartment building at looked around for a street I knew. I produced my phone at the same time to look at the messages. I had twelve texts and five voicemails, not too bad. When I saw who they were from I grumbled.

**From: Eren**

**Stop being melodramatic.**

Awesome.

**From: Eren**

**We were just watching the store for you. We**

**know you like it and not having it open is bad.**

**From: Eren**

**Can u come back now? if I look at one more**

**book I’ll puke**

**From: Eren**

**You suck**

I stopped looking at the messages. He said a few more stupid things but that was about the extent of his concern. Armin on the other hand was completely apologetic. He explained that although Eren was being a jerk that he actually did care. He called out just to open the store this morning and he force Armin into it too, saying that Armin was a lot better with people than he was. On top of that he apparently was non-stop asking about me and wondering where I had run off too. Then even Armin was starting to sound a little worried by the end of one of his messages. I sighed, continuing in the direction of the store.

My head was pounding but I eventually found the road that would take me to the store. I stumbled a little on the freshly covered sidewalk. The flurries had turned into a layer of slush on the cement and being tipsy did not really help me right now.

I clicked on the voicemails instead. The first one was from Armin.

“Mikasa we really didn’t mean to overstep our boundaries. I promise. Eren will give you the key back if you want it. We’re just a little worried, since, you know, what happened…” He trailed off but found himself again. “Anyway, call me back.” It ended and went to the next one.

“Oy, Mikasa. Pick up your phone.” It ended with a harsh grumble from Eren. So he didn’t only complain via text. I frowned as the next message popped up. It was from some stupid telemarketer. I deleted it and waited for the next one.

“Mikasa, pick up the phone! What the hell!” Eren ended it just like that again and for some reason his impatience was making me laugh. The anger melted away and a giggle escaped my lips. I covered my mouth, giving a little hiccup. The next one followed after that.

“Hey, Mikasa.” I knew exactly who it was now. Levi’s voice made my heart do a little flutter. I smiled like a ditzy girl, waiting by a red crossing sign and kicking at the snow like a love-struck teenager. “I know you might not want to hear this but I did message the brat earlier to open the store. He told me he had kept a spare key from before so it was fine.” He sounded like he was moving around. The distant sound of the stores bells rung and I smiled. “Anyway, stay safe.” He hung up and I brought the phone away from my ear to click END on the call.

I didn’t think I would worry everyone like that. How adorable! They cared for me! I giggled all the way to the store, surprised to find that the lights were still turned on. Well, at least one of them. I grabbed at the door, swinging myself around and hiccupping again. The bell went off.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called into the empty room. If anyone was here, they didn’t make a noise. “Hellloooo!” I called again. A slow song came on over the speakers and I couldn’t help spinning around, getting lost in the rhythm. I felt like dancing all night now.

I stumbled to my right and caught myself on one of the bookshelves. One of the books came tumbling down and I jumped at the sound.

“Ooohh nooo. I dropped it!” I bent down to grab it, needing to swing my arms a few times before my fingertips finally touched it. “Here we go.” I said happily, the book lazily placed back on the shelf. When I turned back to the break room door I found a dark figure standing there. Levi looked at me, taking in my posture and face.

“Mikasa?” He asked as if he didn’t know who I was. I hiccupped and waved at him.

“H-hi Leeeviii.” I said slowly as I walked towards him, tripping over my one two feet. I would have gone flying to the floor had it not been for him. He grabbed onto my waist and my hands shot out to his black jacket, my fingers wrapping around the soft fabric. I looked up at his face that seemed to be vibrating and stifled my laughter with my hand. “Whoops.” I said childishly. I tried to get off of him but he didn’t let me go. Instead he held me tighter and leaned down to get a whiff of me. “Hey!” I turned from his scowling face, pushing him away from me.

“Are you drunk?” He raised a weary eyebrow at me and I blushed. His eyes were so pretty and we were so close right now. I stared at his lips.

“Nooo.” I closed my eyes and leaned up to him, kissing him softly. I could feel him go ridged underneath me, as if contemplating letting this happen and stopping it. He sighed and pulled me away by my shoulders.

“You most clearly are.” He looked defeated, stomping out his own desires and instead worrying about my own well-being. “We minus well get you home.” He grabbed my hand and led me to the break room where he gathered his stuff and pulled on his gloves. I sat on top of the table, sad.

“I don’t want to go home. I want to stay with you.” I whined and rubbed at my eyes. Levi grabbed my hand again and pulled me off the table and towards the door. We stepped outside and he turned to me.

“You’re not going to give me the keys, are you?” He looked at me, expressionless. Then he brought his hands to pat both sides of me and try to find them himself. I wriggled away from him but he wasn’t letting me get away. When he heard what he was looking for he went into my pocket and pulled out the keys. Not asking me which one was the stores he tried the first one he held.

“It’s the green one.” I told him as I turned away from him and skipped down the sidewalk. There was a spirit hanging around the side of the road. I went to him and waved. “Hey little dude? Why so blue?” I made a joke, referring to his swirling blue soul. He stared at me with wide eyes and I could see a flash of anger.

“Shit.” Levi came up behind me and grabbed my hand again, forcing me to turn and walk away from the spirit. I clawed at his hand.

“Wait, that guy needs help!” I tried to pull myself free but he wasn’t having any of it.

“Right now I really don’t think you should be doing any of that… spirit stuff.” We turned onto another road, getting that much closer to my apartment. I huffed and let him drag me along.

“I could have helped him.” I grumbled as we came closer to my place. Levi didn’t look at me once. I looked to the floor and stumbled more times than I could have counted. Eventually, after almost slipping down the sidewalk Levi stopped abruptly and I smashed into his back.

“Get on my back. You’re useless when you can’t walk straight.” He knelt down with his hands at his sides in a loop-like pattern. I stared at him for a second with a frown. He turned to me with a cold, hard glare. “Now.” He commanded. I let out a loud moan in protest and hopped on. He adjusted to my added weight and stood up, his hands wrapped around my legs and my hands around his throat, trying not to squeeze the life out of him.

“You’re an awful drunk, you know that.” He stated factually. I rested my head on his shoulder and just listened to his breathing as he carried me along. He was warm and comfortable against me. I was safe here, he would make sure of that.

We came to my building and he let me climb down. I leaned against the wall, half dozing off. “It’s the gold key.” I yawned, covering my mouth. He unlocked the front door and grabbed my hand. We entered the building and waited for the elevator door. When we climbed in I almost fell against the metal walls of the old elevator, my eyes closing.

“Come on, Mikasa.” Levi pulled at me, forcing me awake in an instant. He already knew with door was mine; he had been here once before anyway. He wiggled the keys in my face and I picked out the grayish one. He unlocked the door and we both went inside. “There. Now go to sleep. I’ll be back in the morning.” He turned to leave but I grabbed onto his arm, forcing him to stop.

“No, wait.” I held on tighter. The alcohol was clouding my brain but I knew I didn’t want him to leave me. I didn’t want to be alone. “I…” I swallowed hard, trying to will the words to come out. Fuck this alcohol. “I don’t want you to leave.” I looked up to him. He turned and waged a war with himself, whether he should stay or go. He closed my door in defeat and grabbed my hand.

“Ok.” He told me. He pulled me to my room, taking a few tried before he found it. He undid my jacket and sat me on the bed to unzip my shoes. Then he pulled off his coat and lined his shoes at the foot of the bed with mine. I held my arms up, trying to show him what I wanted. He took the clue and grabbed at the hem of my shirt, pulling it up slowly. I could tell he was desperately trying to control himself right now but I didn’t care. I pulled at his shirt and he let me bring it up over his head, his abs splayed before me as he breathed evenly.

The room was growing warmer by this point. I undid my pants button and had trouble trying to pull the awful things off. Levi grabbed at them and had them off in a moment. Then he undid his pants and folded them, placing them on my dresser. He turned to me in his boxers and I looked at him hungrily.

“Lay back.” He commanded. I listened to his every word, turning around to crawl onto my bed. I collapsed onto my pillows and waited for him. He walked around the bed and got in on my right, pulling the blankets over himself and then tucking me in. I moved closer to him, my hands finding his body and working my fingers over his abs. He was so warm and every touch lit a fire in me. He closed his eyes for a moment and I leaned in closer, about to kiss him when I felt his hands around my wrist, stopping me.

“Mikasa,” He said and I could hear the misery in his voice, as much as he tried to hide it. He opened his eyes up again and his steel ones were set hard, determined not to give into me. “You don’t know how hard it is to do this right now. But we really _can’t_.” He said in a low tone. I pouted, knowing what I wanted. He was like a candy I couldn’t eat right now and it was killing me. I dropped my hands down, relinquishing myself to what he wanted.

“Ok.” I whispered back sadly. I tucked myself closer into him and at first he stayed rigid, ready to stop me again but when I made no further moves to attack him he relaxed, wrapping his arms around me and ensnaring me to him. I snuggled into his chest, his breath moving my hair ever so slightly. He pressed a soft kiss into my hair and I found myself dozing off just like that, him holding me tightly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this took me a long time to work up the courage to write. I don't know what happened to me. I was ding so well in the beginning and i just had this moment of insane writters block in the middle of a hot and steamy part in the beginning n it was awful. So here you guys are, an extra long chapter for sucking with updates! More to come soon! I actually finished this in two straight days of just sitting down and writing but i don't think it's good to be up til 12am on a school night so here you go! If there are any typos i'm really sorry but i'm too tired to go over it right now and fix it. Thank you for reading this fic! I know i'm awful at updating and i'm really sorry! Leave a comment though anyway, i love them!


	13. Breaking

Chapter 13: Breaking

 

“What the hell?” I looked around at the completely white room that seemed to give off its own light from who know where. I was alone here, except for one last thing- an angel.

“Hello, Mikasa.” She stood a little ways in front of me, her white dress billowing down below her and seeming to disappear completely against the floor making her look like she was floating. Her hair was arranged perfectly and she looked at me with warm yet cautious eyes. I scowled.

“Where the hell am I?” I looked around at the endlessly white room, spinning in a circle until I came to meet her eyes again.

“This is simply just a place I constructed in a deep recess of your mind. I promise it is not harmful in any way. I just need to talk to you.” She nodded softly as if that would make me feel better.

“And that’s supposed to make this ok? I don’t want you making anything in my mind.” I threw my hands up in exasperation, annoyed.

“Well I would have done it by easier means had you been carrying the compass with you yesterday. But I couldn’t contact you so I had to do this.” She gestured around the room then clasped her hands together in front of her. “That’s not what’s important right now. We only have a little bit of time to talk so let me just get right to it.” She took a step forward and I crossed my arms in front of me. Not like I had a choice in the matter.

“Why not.” I grumbled and shrugged.

“They are getting much closer to you. The demons.” She jumped right into it. I held back a flinch at her new tone of voice, all serious, somewhat fearful. “They may have found you already even. You need to hurry up and find a way to dispel them or they will kill you.” Her eyes widened a fraction and my breath hitched in my throat.

“And how am I supposed to do that? Are you forgetting that I haven’t had this ‘gift’ for long? I don’t know how to work this thing.” My hands fell to my sides and I could almost feel the fear rising in my chest. She shook her head, a smile replacing her straight face.

“Remember what I told you?” She said sincerely a soft lilt to her voice. The ground started to shake beneath me just then and I waved my arms frantically for a second, my eyes going wide.

“What do you mean?!” I yelled over to her, horribly confused. The space started crumbling, dark light spilling into the pure room. I fell on the floor but still looked up to her.

“He’s important. He holds the key to figuring this out. He’s the one th…” Her mouth still moved but I could no longer hear her. She began to fade out, turning transparent before me. The darkness was breaking through the room, beams shattering the walls to this space.

“Wait!” My hand shot out at the exact moment the floor fell away beneath me. I screamed.

The alarm clock went off and my eyes snapped open. At first I thought I was still in that room, that everything was pure white and the darkness was going to swallow me again. But then I realized that I wasn’t, that I was in my own bed. I blinked a few times and pushed the image away. The alarm stopped and I noticed I had someone in my bed.

Levi’s eyes looked at me blankly as if observing me. Wait, why was he in my bed? And why was I gripping him so tightly my nails dug into the skin of his arms? I shoved myself off of him as soon as I could and almost rolled off the bed had it not been for his other hand that was still wrapped under me. He raised an eyebrow at me as if to say what’s wrong with me.

“What- when did you get here?” I almost screeched. “How did you get into my house?” I grabbed for the blanket and tucked in close to my body as if it would hide my mortification. Levi’s eyes sharpened down on me.

“You don’t remember yesterday at all, do you?” He asked me in return. I looked down at my half naked body and desperately tried to remember anything about last night. I remembered the boy. And Sasha and… Connie? The dog… what was its name? Harbor? I remembered making drinks… I shook my head. And then I thought about Levi and how he was in my bed.

Sleeping with me.

Half naked too.

A terrible blush covered my face and I instantly hid myself behind the blanket. “Oh, please don’t tell me we…” I said, fearful for the answer. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words I dreaded to hear. I would remember something like that, surely. I peeked my head out to see Levi with a dark look in his eyes.

“Tch. Like I would take advantage of someone who was shit-faced.” I felt his hand pull at the blanket in my hands and I cried out when he ripped it away. “You have little faith in me.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. I tried to look away and cover my red face with my hands, still embarrassed over my own stupidity. His fingers wrapped around my wrist and he brought my hand slowly away from my face. I looked away from him but he was having none of that. “Tch.” He put his hand under my chin and made me face him, made me actually look at him.

All of the love I had felt for him came swarming back when I looked into his cool, even eyes. I knew he was telling me the truth but it was so hard to accept it myself. Even before I was… kidnapped, I was closed off to almost everyone but Armin and Eren. Sasha had found a way into my heart slowly but that had taken years of her constantly working at it. To feel love so easily, to be loved back so freely, it was all new to me. These feelings were different from my familial protectiveness of my brother and Armin or my friendship with Sasha. This was warm, safe, content, bliss. This was different from the pain and harshness I got on a regular basis from the things that haunted me daily.

“Stop hiding your face. It’s annoying.” He ordered. Then his hands went to my hair and he ran his fingers through it, pushing it back. He ghosted a single kiss on my forehead before looking back at me, his eyes searching mine. “You were drunk yesterday so I took you home. You didn’t want me to leave so I stayed. That’s it.” He leaned into me to press a kiss to my lips and I closed my eyes to enjoy the feel of our lips moving together. He stopped it before things got too heated. “Although you were plenty tempting enough as it was.” He smiled sarcastically.

“You ass.” I took my pillow and smashed it down on his face. He threw it off and rolled on top of me, trapping my legs in his and holding himself by his strong arms on either side of my face. His hair cascaded into his eyes for effect and he stared down at me, my breath quickening.

“You doubt my patience though.” He brought his face down slowly, so slowly I thought I was going to explode underneath him in a ball of fire. He kissed the edge of my jaw, going up slowly. I sighed into him and wiggled around.

“We- god.” I rubbed my legs together, trying to stifle my own want right now and the heat that pressed into my chest. “We h-have work.” Ya, that’s what I wanted to say. The store- he kissed me on the corner of my mouth and I lost the thought again, my eyes rolling back into my head. Shit, this was going to get dangerous.

“And…” He drawled, looking back at me with heated eyes. I bit my lip, knowing what I should do and wanting to do just the opposite. One of his hands found my side and trailed up it and I arched my back slightly, loving the feeling, my skin igniting with every touch he gave me.

“We need to go.” I managed not to stutter. Levi stopped moving and I almost sighed in relief. Finally I was able to clear my head for a second. I used my free hand to gently shove Levi a little bit, making sure he got the memo. He growled, not happy at all, but he slid off of me. I closed my eyes and thanked whatever was up there for giving me a break. Had that continued any longer I would have said fuck it, and the store would not have been open all day.

“Shit.” He grumbled, standing up. He looked down at me, his anger still flaring in his eyes. I leaned up and shoved the blankets away, quickly grabbing for my towel.

“The shower’s mine first!” I yelled and ran all the way there, slamming the door and locking it before an even angrier Levi could enter. I would have let him in had it not been for the fact that that also would have turned horribly sexy and again and the store would have not been opened. I huffed, not liking not having time with Levi. This was a life of a business owner.

 

We made two speedy stops on our way to the store, one of which was to pick up clean clothes for Levi at his place. He refused to walk around in day old clothes, saying that it was not normal or something about germs and dirt or whatever. Then we went to Starbucks to grab our coffee before we reached the store.

I made sure not to forget my purse this time. I wrestled with the thought of leaving the damn compass behind and taking it with me, twirling it in my hands multiple times, memorizing each facet it had and watching the emblem of wings sway about. I had cursed at myself and stuffed it into the pocket of my black coat.

And here we are now, the store warm and inviting, the books lining the shelved ready to be read or purchased. I inhaled the scent of old books and paper pages and walked to the break room to drop off my stuff. Levi did the same, making sure to hang up his coat properly before turning to me.

“Give me that.” He pointed to the coat in my hands. I shrugged and handed it to him. When his fingers wrapped around the coat, my hand still on it, a high pitched sound went off and a light coming from one of my pockets flashed brilliantly, blinding the both of us. I turned away, covering my eyes and letting go.

“What the…?” Levi said. I turned to see that it was lying on the floor, back to normal, just a heap of black coat. I looked at Levi’s inquisitive gaze, guessing that he had both seen _and_ heard the same thing I did. He bent down to grab the coat again.

“Wait-” I tried to warn him but his hands had wrapped around the cloth and he brought it up to look at it more closely. Nothing happened this time. He looked to me as if I had the answers.

“I seriously don’t know what that was about. I swear.” I shrugged and tried to assure him I was not in on some plot to kill him or something. His eyes found the coat again and he inspected it before deciding to give up.

“Sure.” He hung it up warily and looked at me one last time before leaving the room. I walked up to my coat and dug into my pocket to produce the compass. As soon as I touched it I pulled back.

“Shit!” I hissed, bringing my burnt fingers to my mouth. The thing was so hot I was afraid it was going to burn a hole into my favorite coat. I looked up towards the ceiling with a scowl. “Burn my coat and you can go fuck yourself, you…” I stopped from cursing any further. I looked pretty stupid there staring at the ceiling. I left the room, slamming the door.

“I hate everything.” I mumbled under my breath as I half- stomped to the door and flipped the sign to OPEN. Levi didn’t comment, instead leaving me to my own mood. I leaned against the desk grumpily just when a customer entered the store. I did not smile at him cheerily of say “Welcome!” in the bright way I usually do. _Whatever_ , I thought. If he had a problem he could leave.

 

The morning was pretty much run by Levi and I like old times. It was Tuesday, so Marco wasn’t going to come in- he had volunteering today. My fingers were not happy at me whatsoever and retaliated against every rub against a book or the counter. I winced, cursing at myself under my breath. Levi eventually took notice of it by the afternoon and asked me what had happened.

“Oh, you know, just the usual.” I gave him that vague answer and went back to work collecting papers. We had switched our roles a bit today. I let him deal with the customers as I went to stock and categorize the store. He would be better off dealing with the masses anyway. I was in a foul mood.

I riffled through a few of them, checking them off on the list I had in front of me, tapping the pen to my lips in thought. My eyes fell on a light blue colored spine that said _Angels- The Truth Behind the Mystery_. I almost burst out in laughter but it had certainly gotten my attention. I grabbed for it and laid in on top of my clipboard, opening it up to take a look at the pages. It was mostly a picture book that seemed to give the basic facts about angels, where they originated from and the meaning behind them. Ad I leafed through a little more I came across a more defined section of the book that broke things down in different categories.

I skimmed the sections, catching a few phrases and logging some of the information to use for later. Then I tucked the book underneath my arm and decided just to bring it home with me and give it a more thorough examination.

I walked out of that area of bookshelves and to the break room to drop of the book by my purse. Then I turned to my coat and peered at it with an eyebrow raised. I walked to it slowly and took a deep breath before putting my hand in my pocket. I was able to pluck the compass out this time. The chain gave off a beautiful ring as it moved in the air. I pressed the button on the top to release the cover on the compass and get a good look at it. The pointer did not move in the slightest. It stood there as steady as ever on the ‘N’. I turned in a different direction, just to see. The pointer turned to the ‘E’ but went back to the ‘N’ as soon as I stopped. I sighed and put it back into my pocket. The thing was just normal.

When I came out we were starting to get a good crowd of people. I took myself and went behind the counter, opening up another register to start helping Levi. I forced the scowl off my face and replaced it with something a bit friendlier and addressed each customer as kindly as possible. Work was going to be the death of me.

 

Bertolt was busy arranging some things in the back, the lights casting his long shadow on one of the bookshelves. He had come in at around four thirty, saying that he wanted to work today. I didn’t question it. The kid was more than helpful, his tall stature and strength more than welcomed. When it came close to closing time and a lot of the customers had left he lugged the heavy stuff to the top floor and Levi helped him organize it, showing him where to put things. They worked well together, mostly because Bert- a new nickname for him- was able to take his grumpy nature and power though it expertly. I would have thrown a book at Levi’s face by now.

I was shoving another letter into an envelope to mail out when my ear began to ring. It was different from the normal one you get when there is no sound around you; you know, that ring to fill the void of an empty room? This one was high pitched and familiar. I leaned across the counter to the slightly open break room. It seemed to be originating from there.

“Crap.” I looked up to the balcony. Levi was still busy up there, a stack of books in his hands and Bertolt was somewhere behind one of the shelves. He didn’t hear it. I walked behind the counter and walked fast-paced to the room, closing the door behind me. The noise was loudest in here. It wasn’t bad enough that I had to cover my ears but it was annoying enough to have me curse under my breath.

I dug into my pocket and grabbed the compass. It was slightly vibrating in my hand. When I pressed the button to pop it open the noise stopped mid-ring. The pointer was not on the ‘N’ anymore. It was instead on a smaller ‘NW,’ meaning that something was close, or close enough that this thing was going off. I bit my lip and looked up in the direction as if I could see through the walls at the ominous being. Petra’s warning came back to me. _“They are getting much closer to you.”_ Great.

I pulled my scarf to my lips and stumbled back a little until I was leaning on the table. There was no way I was ready to see one of those things again. The last time I did I just barely was able to get away. I don’t know what would have happened if I fought one head on. I had no weapons, no warders or banishing items to bring them down and if I did I wouldn’t even begin to know how to use them. I was weak.

The door opened in front of me and I hastily shoved the compass behind me, trying to hide the thing. It was Bertolt. I threw on a fake smile so that he wouldn’t see the panic or dread on my face.

“Hey. So how was it today? You seem to get a lot better at talking to people now.” I stepped aside as he went to grab for his things. He smiled shyly at me, slipping on his coat.

“Actually, I think you’re right. Talking to people is a bit hard for me, you know, but this experience has been good for me.” He smiled to me and for some reason that sweet expression was like a light to my dark emotions. I smiled back.

“So same time tomorrow?” I asked, walking him out the door. I just managed to slip the compass back in my pocket as I walked by. I opened the front door for him and he stepped out into the night.

“Yup, same time, Mikasa.” He stumbled over my name a little bit as if he thought it too informal to call me by that but I just gave him a reassuring smile.

“Have a wonderful night.” I waved to him and he waved back, putting his hands in his coat and turning to walk down the street. I closed the door, my warm smile still on my face before I locked it again and put the key in my pocket.

A hand shot out in the darkness and grabbed me and I was shoved into the wall, my breath almost knocked out from me. Before I could scream out cool lips had taken my own and hands had ensnared mine so that I could not shove my assailant away. But I knew the feel of these hungry lips and the scent of this person, tea and cleaning supplies and fresh laundry mixing with my own.

I opened my eyes and Levi pulled back, a shadow over his eyes. I tried to get my breath back, knowing that he would kiss me again soon with the same brutal force.

“Levi, you do know there are cameras in here, right?” I chastised him, trying to push him aside a little bit. “And there is no way I’m having sex with a camera on us.” I managed to break free of his hold on me, straightening my shirt out. He caught onto my mood and stepped away from me as if I had dumped a bucket of cold water on him. He ate up my stance, the way I didn’t look him in the eyes and the way my voice came across and he knew something was up. Maybe I needed to take a class on acting. But even then for some reason I knew he would still be able to tell when I wasn’t ok.

“What happened?” He asked me, clearly worried. I stepped away from his proximity and walked to the break room, coming up with a good excuse.

“I think I could be getting a cold. I actually haven’t been feeling too good today, anyway.” I lied. It wasn’t too hard to believe. I had been sulking around the store the whole day and leaving Levi and Bert to handle most of the customers, a permanent frown deep set on my lips.

The most important reason I did lie to him was the fact that eventually, and probably today, I was going to run into a demon with no way to escape and fight it off. If that happened, I wanted him as far away as possible from me. There was a chance that I could get away somehow, some way with the knowledge I know now and the ‘gift’ as Petra likes to call it but Levi was most definitely human. I would not take him down with me. I swallowed the guilt as I tugged on my coat.

“That’s bullshit.” He was putting on his own jacket now, wrapping a grey scarf around his neck. He turned to me, now clearly upset that I had lied. “There’s something you’re not telling me, Mikasa.”

“No, actually, there isn’t.” I retorted back, grabbing my purse and meeting his gaze head on with my own determined one. He stared at me harder as if the answers would just pop up on my forehead. “Why do you always assume I’m keeping something from you?” I asked angrily. His eyes seemed to grow darker.

“Because that’s what I would do. I would try to protect the person I thought would wind up in a mess with me.” He said simply, as if he could read what I had in my mind perfectly. I widened my eyes scared that right there he knew what I was doing exactly, that he had figured it out.

_Back when he still worked for us, he was really good at his job. Like, unnaturally so._

Eren’s words popped up in my mind. So this was what he meant. Levi was so good that he could in fact tell any kind of BS someone tried to feed him, including my own. That wasn’t very helpful for me.

“Really, I’m just tired.” I made it a case to show that in my voice with a breathy sigh. I turned from him again as I grabbed my key and walked out of the room and to the door. Levi followed close behind me. I turned off the lights and made sure the security system was all good before I stepped onto the sidewalk and waited for Levi to do the same. I locked the door with an easy turn of my key and stuffed it back into my purse.

“Oh, and you don’t have to walk me to my place anymore. I think I’m ok to walk home tonight.” I tried to assure him, tucking my face in my scarf so he wouldn’t see my face. I looked up to see what he was thinking. Something in his eyes, like a flash of hurt, flickered for a second across them and I felt like I had been slapped in the face. It hurt to see that, even for a moment but I couldn’t bring him down with me. The vibrating compass in my pocket told me that there was trouble not too far away and I couldn’t risk putting his life in danger.

“You know this is stupid.” He said, the anger clearly evident in the way he said those words. “Why can’t you just-” I cut him off before he could finish.

“Goodnight Levi.” I turned from him, walking in the direction of my place. I didn’t want to look at him anymore. He was going to destroy my resolve and then I would have to be responsible for whatever happened after.

I didn’t look back to see if he had moved from that spot. Instead I made it appear like I was walking in the direction of my place. I disappeared behind one of the corners and pulled out the compass that had been going off the entire time.

“Well, you bastard, you have my attention.” The malice dripped from my words. I was determined to make the first move on the damn thing, regardless if I had a way to escape or not. If he had the jump on me there was an even smaller chance I would make it out alive. I grabbed the silver coin from my purse and held it in my hand as if it could protect me from anything and followed the direction the compass was leading me to.

I walked a good ways away from the main shopping center into a place that looked residential. It smelt awful, like rotting garbage and I wrinkled my nose. This place had a few glowing orange lights to light up the street corner but other than that it was dark. _Of course they dwelled within dark places. They just loved to scare the shit out of everyone that way._

The compass seemed to be vibrating a lot harder when I got closer to the direction of a particularly shady looking corner behind a building and a deserted playground. There was a fence stopping me from going further and although I did not like the idea of climbing one I knew I had no choice. So, gripping the compass tightly and throwing my purse over my shoulders I started the climb, making sure to have my feet properly placed before taking my next step.

When I got to the top I just hopped down, the balls of my feet taking the brunt of my force smoothly. I stood up from a crouching position and looked around for a second.

This park looked more like a hazard than a place of recreation. The swing set was completely rusted over and the metal for the slide and ladder were dented and crushed. There was graffiti painted across the floor and every clear spot on the mangled thing. Some of it didn’t look to bad.

The compass made one last pang and then it stopped moving completely. I brought it to eye level and cursed at it, shaking it to see if that would help. It didn’t even move anymore. I shoved it in my pocket, deciding that it was otherwise useless right now.

I went into my purse to produce my phone and see what was hanging around here. Its soft light illuminated the area only in a five-foot radius. I made a mental note to get myself an actual flashlight eventually.

My foot made soft crunching noises against the asphalt. I stepped on some broken glass and winced, ducking underneath a piece of metal. My human eyes were not too good at seeing in the dark so I didn’t think I would find much.

Then my eyes fell on something that looked a lot like a seriously black shadow in one area behind a slightly moving swing. I froze mid-step. At first it was small, about the size of a medium dog but it grew rapidly, expanding in the shadows to human sized. It filled out and painted the picture of a woman. She stepped out with a content sigh.

“So, you came to me. How unexpected.” Her voice rang out darkly into the night. “The name’s Hitch.” She turned her face to me. “This body was most decadent to eat up and slip into, don’t you agree?” She licked her lips. I stared at her with wide eyes. Hitch? The girl that was going to work for me? I had forgotten all about her! I felt a pang of pain in my stomach. It was too late for me to do anything for her now.

I grabbed onto the silver coin I had been holding earlier, not giving her and answer, willing myself to move. I took a step forward, closer to the dark being. Then I got a clear look at her.

She had wavy, light brown hair that went down to her chin and amber eyes that seemed to be slits. She licked something scarlet from her fingers and I had to swallow my own bile. I looked at her feet, where a something small and furry lay. A squirrel, maybe. She stepped on it hard, the crunching of bones and terrible squish of flesh making me cringe.

“Sure, you can think that.” I swallowed my fear and stood tall. I walked to the right of her and she walked opposite me, to the left. “Or this could just be my own strategy. Get the jump on the demon first. Destroy it. Get on with my day.” I stared her down, not once stumbling on the floor. We danced in a circle like that until I was almost by the squirrel. I stopped, mostly because I wanted to be nowhere near the deceased thing.

She licker her lips and gave a breathy laugh. “What strong words for someone who seems to be pissing in their pants!” She bent over, howling into the night. I looked around, half expecting to have drawn a crowd by now. No one was there, much to my dismay. “You’re _hilarious_!” She spat the word and stood up unnaturally, her back arching as if about to pounce. I slipped my hand in my purse and grabbed at the vial of holy water I had just replenished a few days ago.

“So I’ve been told.” I glared at her, preparing myself for the worst. She jumped into the air and I ran in the opposite direction away from her, angling so that I would be behind her. My purse fell away from me and I cursed at myself.

She expected that and flipped herself around so that she collided into the asphalt with a hard thud, rocks flying in all directions. She had created a large scare where I had once stood moments before and I prayed I would get through this.

“Tricky, tricky.” She purred, standing up again. “But now I know how fast you are.” In a flash she ran up to me and I only had enough time to block her hit before her hand shot out full force blowing me to the side like paper. I collided with the ground, the wind getting knocked out of me. I looked back, wincing against the pain in my side. My pants had ripped and I had a gash going down my leg spilling my blood onto the floor.

“You smell so good!” She cackled, taking her time to walk up to me, a harsh smile pulled across her face so that it looked too big, the skin pulling back in a grotesque way. “I had only heard what happens to people when they drink the blood of a Cleaner. I heard that it’s tasty, but _this_ ,” She sniffed into the air and her eyes flashed to me again, hungry, cold, fearsome, “This is just a piece of heaven!”

She bent down to me and I instinctively tried to crawl backwards, away from her. Her hand shot out onto my calf and pushed it down painfully. I screamed out in pain and she began to laugh.

“I want to taste you!” Her other hand went to the wound and she dragged her finger on it. I hissed at the pain, disgusted that my blood would be going into that fowl demon. She brought the bloody finger to her mouth and lapped it up, her eyes closing as if to relish the taste. Then something in her changed. She became more ravenous and a dark gleam came about her eyes.

“More. I want more!” She screamed and went to pounce on me, razor sharp nails ready to pierce my throat. Like hell!

I kicked her square in the face and she tumbled back with an angry cry. I got to my feet and turned to look at her. She wiped at her face and looked down, then looked at me with eyes that could shrivel any normal person. Thankfully, I was not normal.

“You stupid bitch! You scratched my fucking face, skank!” She shrieked and I cringed at the harshness in her voice. She stood and walked menacingly to me. I moved backward.

“That’s what you get!” I shouted back. My hand was aching from the fall and I could tell I had hit it in an awkward angle but thankfully the think I most wanted was still held fast and safe in my palm. I brought it to my mouth and popped the cap with my teeth. “Why don’t you try this for size!” I threw the contents of the bottle at her and there was a horrible searing sound as it hit her. She brought her hands to her face and howled up to the moon, her scream turning to a gurgle. But she wasn’t done yet.

“HA!” She shouted condescendingly but I could tell she was in pain. “You thought that was going to get me?” She moved again, too fast for me to see. My body moved on its own accord, going into a crouch right as I felt the wind whip by the top of my head. I had just missed getting decapitated.

Instead, I poised the coin, ready to strike her when her hand clasped around my fist. Fuck. She hauled me up and I dangled ruthlessly in front of her, dropping the coin and shoving with all I was worth to pull away from the terrible creature.

“I was going to make it _easy_ for you. I was going to make it _fast_.” She spat in my face, her foul breath making me turn away from her. “Well, mostly fast.” She threw me to the side and I smacked onto a metal poll, stomach first. The wind was knocked out of me as I flipped forward, my head crashing to the ground. I turned in on myself, coughing and spitting up blood, my head swirling. I could hear her stomping up to me again.

“But you just _had_ to make it difficult, didn’t you.” Her hands wrapped around a handful of my hair and she yanked me up. I screamed in agony, having all my weight pressed down on that one point. Shit, shit, shit. “ _Happy Birthday_.” I ignored her statement, forgetting that it was my birthday completely.

I made a last ditch effort to claw at her eyes but she dodged every single swing I made with unnatural speed. She laughed at my pathetic effort and her hand let go of my hair, instead going to my throat and cutting off my air supply. She turned me around and slammed me onto the slide. I kicked at her, trying to get free, a gasp escaping my lips as I fought for oxygen.

“See, much harder, right?” She licked up my face and I whipped my head side to side violently. She looked at me with clouded, primal desire in them, now as black as night. “Shhhh. It will end soon.” She whispered into my face. I grabbed at her hands pushing down on my throat and tried to shove her off but she was like steel, not even budging once. My vision started to blur and I knew then that it was over. It was then that I noticed something dangling in the air above her head. It fell down hard, smashing into her skull with a loud ‘CRACK’ and she let go of me, dropping to the floor and rolling around as she held her head.

“Ouuuch!” She hissed and cried. I coughed, my body wanting to take in as much oxygen as possible. Warm hands grabbed my own and I almost ripped myself away until I saw who it was. Levi was looking down at me and I could see the panic in his eyes, although his movements hid it well.

“Get up, Mikasa.” He pulled me towards him and I stumbled on my feet, trying to regain my balance, still horribly dizzy. “We need to go!” He pulled me along, turning away from the demon on the floor. My head was spinning but I knew that wouldn’t work I was proven right when a hand grabbed at my legs and I was ripped from Levi and crashed to the floor.

“Like I’d let you get away!” She pushed her fingers through my pant legs and into my skin and I cried out against it in agony, the white hot pain making me tremble a little. Levi cursed and quickly had a hand on mine, trying to pull me away from her.

“Levi, go away!” I screamed, trying to tear myself from his hold. He looked at me like I had gone crazy. The demon botch had a hold on the fabric of my jacket by my stomach and she pulled herself up me. Pieces of her face seemed to be melting off and sizzling from the holy water and a steady stream of black blood oozed from somewhere on top of her head. She looked even worse for wear but it made her look scarier, like a real monster. “NOW!” I shouted with all my might.

Because if there was one thing I would not do tonight it was getting Levi killed with me. I couldn’t get him killed with me and the way I was now, badly beaten and injured, running wasn’t an option. He had to go on without me whether he liked it or not. Tears streamed down my face and I blinked hard, willing them to go away right now.

“Like hell I’ll leave you here!” He cursed down at me and I saw the fire lit in his eyes, something dangerous and deadly. It scared me but it also lit something in me, a fire that made me want to fight and live too.

Levi grabbed my coat and as soon as his fingers touched it all hell broke loss. The same light that went off earlier went off again ins front of us, although this time it was times ten. I was looking at Levi at the time but even then I had to close my eyes, the lights washing over all of us and shooting out.

The worst screech I had heard went off and I felt Hitch pull herself away from me, her claws releasing from me. Levi, who had been pulling me with all his might fell backwards and I was pulled with him.

There was something that exploded close to my feet as I smashed into Levi with the force. He wrapped his hands around me in and instant and flipped us around so that he was on top of me, protecting me from the blast with his arm and pressing himself down on me. Rocks rained down on us. We waited like that for a few moments, my breathing uneven, listening to the garbled moans and dying screams.

When the screeching had died down I felt Levi lift himself off of me in the slightest. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me, a pained expression on his face. I looked down to the flickering light at my feet.

There was a heap of bones and cloth in a pile slowly going out, red and black flames licking at the rest of the searing ashes. Ash fell to the floor and one piece floated down to my cheek, gingerly resting itself there. I could see what looked like ribs and part of a skinless hand sticking out of the pile and I felt like I was going to be sick. I turned away from it and closed my eyes, the image burned into my head.

“Mikasa.” Levi’s hand brushed across my cheek and pulled me back to him. I opened my eyes and a tear fell down, a tear I had not noticed growing behind my closed eyelids. Levi looked at me as if he was broken, his cool expression replace with downcast eyes and a hollowed, sad expression that only lingered in his eyes. “Are you ok?” It was the only question he could ask, although he knew the answer to it already. I gave him a small smile, shaking my head no.

“I don’t really think so.” My voice was weak, hoarse. I swallowed, trying to clear it. Levi rolled off of me and looked to his feet at the burnt demon, the light dancing on his face and in his eyes. I tried to get up on my elbows and failed miserably, my body aching pretty much everywhere.

“Don’t.” Levi held me down until I stopped trying. “You’re seriously hurt.” His eyes trailed over my body and he winced, inspecting every inch of me. I felt a pang in my chest.

I could feel the night air coming through my pants where they had been ripped. My head was still spinning but the worst of it was probably the lacerations to my leg. I could feel the blood coming down it in a slow trickle but if left like that it could get bad.

Levi gave me his hand and pulled me up slowly, attentive to the wound I harbored on my leg. I leaned off of it, wincing at the pain that shot up my leg. He wrapped my arm over his head and took me by my waist.

“We should probably go. The cops might be coming soon.” He made to leave but I forced him to stop.

“Wait.” I looked to the burning carcass lying there and forced him to follow me. He sighed, then took hold of me properly and we found ourselves standing before the dead body. I could feel something trying to pull me away at the back of my conscious but I didn’t follow it. “Can you grab my purse over there? Please?” I pointed to where my purse lay on the floor. He looked to it, then back at me, contemplating on whether or not it was a good idea to let me go. I pulled my arm away from him, holding back the wince of pain and pushed him in the direction. He gave a huff.

“Fine, but whatever you’re going to do, make it fast.” He looked to my leg for a split second, then began walking to my bag. I sunk to the floor before the burning corpse and let my hands hover over it.

This poor person had died because of this- this thing. This demon. And I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t help this person before the demon got to her. This person that would have been working in my store, who I talked to on the phone. My eyes were beginning to sting with unshed tears. I wiped at my eyes before Levi came back.

“Here.” He handed me the bag. I took it and let it fall to the floor, quickly riffling through it to find what I needed. I grabbed the dried bundle of anemones, chrysanthemums, a lily and a single rose. I also grabbed a bottle of rose water, the tears now blurring my vision.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” I said with a shaky breath. I laid the flowers in the steaming pile and opened the bottle, sprinkling some into the burning body. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered. The pile of broken and burnt bones caved in on itself, sending a flurry of ashes into the air in a swirl, the wind picking them up and carrying it off.

I stared off into the distance for a while, feeling my head grow heavy. Shit. Levi tugged on my arm gently.

“We need to go.” He said and I noticed the police sirens finally. They were probably coming this way. I made to get up but I fell back, now much less able to stand and walk around. I brought my hand to my pulsating head and decided to just be frank with him.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna pass out.” I could feel myself being dragged down in a tidal wave of pain and exhaustion. Levi scrambled to me in an instant, shaking me.

“Mikasa? Wait, Mikasa…” And I swayed forward, not being able to hold myself up anymore. I felt strong hands wrap around me, cursing into the night but I could no longer move or speak, my body shutting down. He positioned me to grab me bridal style, his hand slipping under my knees and on my back and he lifted me up. Then I was completely swept away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here goes another long chapter! I'm really trying to make up for my horrible absence here by the way. So this was created! More pieces are coming together but what else in in store for these guys?! You will find out soon(ish) minnaaa!!!  
> Liked what you read, leave me a review! I'm sad because i'm not getting so many, although i have almost 500 readers, which is wonderful in and of itself. I never expected that many to be honest.  
> Well, thanks for reading guys!  
> P.S. If there r typos i'm terribly sorry!


	14. Suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize to everyone who has read this fic. I'm sorry for being away for so long. Life had kind of been catching up with me and that's not an excuse so I'm sorry i haven't updated in so long! *bows profusely* If you have been waiting then wait no longer, here is another chapter! And thank you so much for bearing with me for I am an awful writer. Thank you!!!

 

“Mikasa, you have to wake up now.” I could faintly hear someone calling for me. Everything was so dark where I was. I didn’t want to wake up. My body felt so heavy. “Mikasa, come back.”

I started to regain consciousness but the moment I did I regretted it. I closed my eyes tighter, feeling the heavy pounding in the back of my eyes originating from my head. My muscles ached all over and I so did not want to move. I groaned, peeling my eyes open.

Levi was staring down at me, his jacket nowhere to be seen. He was holding my shoulder and my arm, something in his eyes- dread maybe- at what he was going to do made me look more clearly at everything around me.

“Your arm is dislocated. We have to set it back.” He said calmly, pulling my arm up a little more. I had only seen this done in movies so I already dreaded the pain that was going to accompany it. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, giving him a curt nod to continue. He did just that, jerking my arm away from my body with enough force to pull me forward a little bit. I heard the terrible pop and then I was crying out, my back arching and falling back to where I lay. “There we go.” He put my arm down gently and I shot daggers at him.

“Y-ya, sure. It’s ok to almost rip someone’s arm off.” I hissed, cradling my poor arm in my hand. He didn’t much care for my snippy attitude and instead shot me a glare and reached over to grab a clear bottle from the table.

“I thought you would want this.” He shook the bottle in front of my face, taking a swig of his own then placing it directly in my line of sight. I knew what it was immediately and I grabbed for the bottle, taking a couple of huge gulps before it was snatched from me. “A little goes a long way and I don’t think you should be getting drunk right now with a possible concussion.” He put the bottle of Vodka back on the table, my hands still reaching for it. I tried to turn but my ribs stopped me in my tracks and I doubled over. I began coughing and I brought my hands down to cover my mouth, feeling something spray onto them. When I pulled it back, there was blood. A rush of anxiety came over me but I pushed it down, not about to let Levi know that I was in such a serious condition.

But that didn’t mean I wasn’t confused. Because looking as bad as I did I probably should have been in a hospital. I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “I’m surprised I’m not waking up in a hospital right now.” I said in a small voice. Levi looked me up and down quickly.

“I wanted to take you there but I didn’t know what to say to them. ‘She got attacked by a demon’ wouldn’t really be the most hospital-friendly thing to tell them.” He said. Which was true. I sighed. “So I brought you here instead.” He finished as I tried to hide the blood in my hands by casually wiping them against my blood soaked jeans. There, it would blend in.

“I think getting you in a bath might be a good idea though. You’re filthy and you need to be cleaned.” He stood up from the sofa and walked away from me, not waiting for my answer, leaving me frowning at his harshness. Levi disappeared down the hall.

“Yeah, I was just attacked by a demon bitch, thank you.” I retorted back. I was left there feeling like an incompetent child. I sort of was, but that didn’t change the fact that I hated being useless. I peered around the room to make sure I knew where I was.

I was in Levi’s house again. My leg had been bandaged slightly but I knew I would need another one soon. Blood soaked through it almost entirely. My pants had been cut almost up to my knees as well and there were a few spots where he had probably cleaned some of the wounds. He was awfully considerate about this right now.

I used my arm that had not been dislocated to feel across my ribs, wincing as I pressed down on them. I didn’t think any of them were broken, just badly bruised and tender. I sighed angrily, bringing my arm to cover my eyes.

So this is how my birthday was going to go. Having been thrown around by a demon wasn’t bad enough, now was going to have to deal with a week’s worth of pain and suffering. How wonderful for me.

I stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like forever and decided to hell with this. I began to wiggle around, trying to get my body up and moving. It took a little bit and some very bad twinges of pain but I managed to get into a sitting position. Every bone in my body creaked with the amount of force that it took just to do that one thing. I dug my nails into the couch, ready for the next step.

“Ok now. One. Two. Three!” I rocked myself forward and backward to get enough momentum so that I could throw myself off of the sofa. It worked, although I almost tumbled to the floor. I waved my hands in the air frantically, trying to get my balance back. After standing like that for a few moments, I decided to start moving my legs forward. It took a lot of time but I made my way to his other couch where I saw my jacket lying. The object of my desire was lying right in there.

I had just been reaching over to my coat when Levi walked in, startling me. I fell forward, landing unladylike onto the couch, my face pressing into the coat. I slid down the couch and grunted when my body yelled at me for smashing it, even if it was just a couch.

“What are you doing?” Levi took long strides towards me. I ignored him, grabbing for my coat and bringing it down to me. I could taste the blood in my mouth but I didn’t care. Levi had reached me and put a hand on my shoulder when I had reached into my coat pocket to produce the compass. And then the bright light returned instantaneously, blinding me. I dropped it, cringing into Levi behind me and the white light disappeared.

“Fuck!” Levi cursed, his arm around my shoulder protectively as if he would throw me backwards if anything decided to pop out. We both looked back at the compass, not knowing what to do or what happened. “Why does that thing keep doing that?” He stared the gold metal down as if it would melt under his gaze.

“I don’t know but I don’t mind it when it’s saving my life.” I wanted to grab for it again but Levi held me back, away from it.

“Oh no you don’t. Bath. Now.” He wrapped both his arms around my waist and hauled me to a standing position. Then he took my hand and put it behind his head and swept me off my feet. I gave a shriek, not knowing he was going to do that and tucked myself in tighter to him, afraid of falling backwards. He scoffed at me, carrying me in the direction of his bathroom.

“Again, you have little faith in me.” He gave me a sideways smile noting the way I clung to him and I wanted to slap him upside the head just then but I couldn’t, not without almost falling out of his hands.

He kicked the bathroom door open and then kicked it closed, still moving forward. I could hear the trickle of water still running in the background and I raised an eyebrow up at him.

“You left it running?”

“Sure. It turns off automatically.” He didn’t look at me, instead intent on he was walking. I blew a strand of hair out of my face with a frown, mumbling a quick ‘rich kid’ under my breath. His eyes flicked to me for a split second, hearing my quip. “What was that?” He stared hard at me and I turned my head away willing myself not to laugh.

We reached the huge grey and black stoned Jacuzzi deemed bathtub that could fit at least three people. The water was slapping against the walls in little waves and bubbling, little swirls of steam rising, and I almost drooled looking at it. That would feel so good right now…

“Hop down.” Levi leaned me a little closer to the ground and I swung my legs off of him, immediately wincing at the pain that shot up my leg. “You need to clean yourself up. Not only are you filthy,” he eyes scrunched a little at the corners and I could tell he really disliked dirt and anything to do with it but his eyes changed to something more somber as he looked me over, “but those wounds are bad enough as it is.” He went to grab for me and I took a step back.

“Sure. Get out and I’ll hop in.” I said in all seriousness crossing my hands in front of my chest. I don’t know why but I did not want him to see my like this, cut up and bruised and bleeding. It made me feel ugly, like I was worthless compared to being in mint condition in front of him. He pursed his lips and looked at me like I was a child.

“I think I’ve seen you naked before.” He went to grab for me again but I moved to the side.

“Ya but that was different. I wasn’t beaten the shit out of.” I glowered at him, not giving up. He threw his hands up in the air.

“Are you always going to be this difficult?” He lunged for me and before I could get away- I couldn’t move as fast as before on account of a mangled body- he had his arms around my waist, my back pressed up against him.

“Let me go!” I kicked myself off the ground but his grip on me was steely. He was not going to let me win. “I don’t want you to see me like this!” I was growing flustered, breathing heavily out of anger. I turned to him feeling the tears stinging my eyes but refusing to let them out. Instead of seeing the usual scowling, chastising face he put on when I was being difficult, he had this warm stillness to him. I stopped trying to pry myself away from him.

“What, do you think you look any different to me like this?” His breath ghosted over my face and we stayed locked like that, looking into each other’s eyes. “You could be missing an arm and that wouldn’t matter to me.” He loosened his grip on me and I turned a little bit so I could face him. “As long as you are safe, that’s what matters. If you are alive, it matters so much more than a few scrapes.”

His eyes were patient, loving, and I let what he said sink in for a couple of seconds. He brought his hand to my face, using his thumb to trace the outline of my jaw, my cheekbone, sliding down the tip of my nose and landing over my lips. I put light pressure on it, gently kissing his finger, the warmth now surrounding us.

“I don’t think you know how much I hated seeing you like that. Injured like that. Pinned down like that. She really would have killed you, Mikasa.” He dropped his hand to his side, his eyes drawn back. Levi was a man of few emotions but right now I could read him like a book, this intimate space leaving little room for him to hide. I could see all the pain, the fear of almost having me die right in front of him ignited like a spark in the usual cool grey eyes of his.

“But I’m alive.” I whispered, placing my hand on his chest as if to prove I was still here, tangible before him. “Because of you, I’m alive.” As hard as it was for me to admit, he had saved my life. I had wanted to keep him away so badly that I forgot he was one of the best FBI agents in the city. And being the best most definitely came with its own set of skills, even though it wasn’t quite a thug he had taken down.

He had saved my life and because of my own stupidity I didn’t trust him to be there for me. I left him out of everything, thinking he would get himself killed when in fact it was me who almost wound up dying.

Levi blinked long and hard and when his eyes opened the pain was gone or hidden so that I could no longer see it. He grabbed at the end of my torn shirt.

“Good, now let’s get you showered up.” His hands found the waistband of my jeans and he trailed along it until he had the button in his hands, about to undo it.

“Wait, that still doesn’t mean…”

“Shut up.” He popped it open and leaned into me, his eyes locking onto mine as if to say I was being utterly ridiculous. “If you go unconscious in the tub and drowned, don’t you think that would be a pathetic waste of saving your life in the first place?” I frowned at him.

“Not really…” I mumbled. Even though I didn’t believe that at all- I actually _wanted_ to live now, guys!- I just wanted to defy him. He scoffed at me and continued to strip me down. I slapped his hands away from my pants, trying so hard not to blush at how childish this made me feel. He glared at me but let me do what I wanted. I pulled them down and stepped out of them. Then I tried to pull my shirt off but my shoulder was not having any of that.

“Stubborn…” Levi mumbled and took my dirty, stained with blood shirt in his hands. “Put your arms up.” He instructed darkly and I did what he said, my shoulder being a loss less nasty to me but not liking the position at all. I winced and he had it off in seconds flat. He tossed it to the side and looked me straight in the eyes, his eyes never once drifting. “Now turn around.” He half-whispered. I gave him a straight face but again did as I was told.

I turned around and waited patiently. I felt his warm, capable fingers slide down my back as he hooked them behind my bra and undid it. He slid those same rough but incredibly spine chilling fingers up my back and to my shoulders where he brought pushed my bra strap down. I let it fall to the ground and instinctively went to cover my chest. I don’t know what it was but I just couldn’t get over the feeling of being self-conscious in this too intimate moment.

“Turn around.” He demanded but his voice was softer somehow. I bit my bottom lip and turned, still covering my body and looking to the ground. There was a tight feeling in the pit of my stomach and my eyes were a little more wide than normal. I hated myself right then. I was being so stupid but I just really couldn’t get over it.

I felt his hand under my chin as he pushed it to look forward, into his calm, controlled eyes. “Mikasa. You can trust me.” He looked into my eyes, waiting for me to accept his words for myself. I swallowed and lowered my hands to the side slowly, my heart in my throat. I could hear every breath I made, every sound of the water. And then it turned off and it was only the sound of my blood running through my veins and my pounding heart and both of our breaths mixing together. His eyes never left my own though as he stepped closer and grabbed my underwear and pulled it down slowly. I was grateful that he kept eye contact with me, so grateful for it. Then he stood back up and began helping me undress.

My fingers seemed to fumble at first with the button of my pants but he let his hands fall down and gently pushed aside my own so he could do it instead. His hands were even paced as he unzipped them and I helped by pulling my pants all the way down and stepping out of them, taking a deep breath to control my nervousness, finding that my body could calm down enough to do the simple task. Then he grabbed my shirt and pulled it up, revealing my bruised abdomen and bloody ribs with minor cuts. Or at least they were minor to me. Some of them looked pretty bad though...

He let his eyes wander my body for a mere moment before his eyes were back on mine, watching my every movement and telling me this was ok, that I was safe with him and he would take care of me. He found the waistband of my underwear and started rolling them down, leaning down a bit to take them off. Once they were down to my mid-thigh he let them go and they fell to the floor. I stepping out of those too and tossed them to the side with my toes. Then it was just him and me looking at each other. His gaze never wavered for an instant.

“Now go in the bathtub.” He nodded his head to the huge thing. I took a deep breath and turned towards it. Well, we had gotten this far. I was craving that hot water right about now.

I walked up to it and dipped my hand in first, feeling the perfect temperature. Then I dipped my leg in. Then my other one. Then my torso and finally I was in to my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed, letting the water take me away to another place entirely. It felt lovely against my tired and sore muscles and I just floated there ignoring everything around me. I didn’t even notice when Levi moved to sit close to my head on the edge of the tub. My eyes shot open.

“See, this is what would have happened if I let you in here by yourself.” He chastised. Yup, he was right. I had just been about to fall asleep. I could feel my calming heartbeat and breath. I had to rub at my eyes and go into a sitting position but even then I was exhausted.

“Hmm…” I sighed as I ran my hand over my soaking hair. I looked down to see the streams off blood pooling around me. My breath quickened but I knew freaking out now was stupid. The bathtub was draining it and filling the tub with freshwater anyway. It looked like a lot because water seemed to make blood look worse but I don’t think it was that bad. At least I hoped it wasn’t. Then I remembered coughing up blood. Well…

Levi had grabbed a bottle of sweet pea body wash and lathered it up on his hands. “Here.” He motioned for me to lean over, closer to him, and I did. He then proceeded to rub his hands over my body. He started at my shoulders, massaging the base of my neck and my shoulder blades with his perfect fingers. I moaned in content, loving every little amount of pressure he put there. Then he moved to my arms and rubbed up and down them good. I turned myself around so my back faced him more completely that way he could get better access to me- I admit, I was being greedy.

“Wow. You didn’t tell me you knew how to massage people.” I sighed, looking back at him with surprised, content eyes. He was making me hot as well as incredibly relaxed with the way his fingers moved perfectly against me.

“I don’t. I just know a few things here or there to help someone recuperate from getting their ass handed to them.” He said with a cruel smirk, joking about the situation we were both in an hour ago. He worked his way to my sides. I frowned, crossing my arms up under my exposed chest.

“Of course you do.” I said under my breath, tipping my head to the side as he rubbed his hands over my sides and got closer to me, his hands trailing to my stomach and going higher. I didn’t really care where his hands were going at the moment. He was way too good with them. That is, until he rubbed against a tender spot near one of my ribs and I winced, instinctively jerking away from his hands. He moved his hands away from my skin and I almost wished I hadn’t flinched. Opening my eyes, I turned to look at him, his concerned face looking right back at me.

 “If you’re in pain you don’t have to hide it.” He assured me, examining my expression, his eyes falling to my battered body from the fight with that demon wench. He could so easily tell when something bothered me it was almost scary. I shook my head.

“No, I’m fine.” I turned around and reached for the same bottle of sweet pea body wash he used to massage me, lathered my hands with it and rubbed them over my legs to show him that I was ok enough to at least wash myself. He let me do whatever I wanted after that. I took the shampoo next to the body wash and massaged it into my scalp and slid down enough to dunk my hair into the pinkish water, rinsing it off and finally being done.

He got up first so he could lend a hand to me. I was pretty tired by that point and honestly I felt a bit dizzy. My mind flashed to blood loss but that was too scary of an option at the moment, too real so I ignored it. I’d be just fine. Right? He grabbed a towel for me and I toweled myself semi-dry before wrapping it securely around me and trying to walk normally out towards the door.

Wobbly on my feet and noticing the room was now spinning I tried to find my way to Levi’s room but apparently I was going in the wrong direction. He grabbed my shoulders and steered me down the hallway until we got to his room.

“Ya, you look perfectly fine.” He said sarcastically as we entered the room. I immediately went to his bed, ripped off the towel and started climbing on the fluffy mattress completely ready for sleep. He grabbed my leg out from under me and pulled me to him.

“What?” I fell to my face, the blankets threatening to suffocate me.

“We are covering those wounds again.” He came at me with a first aid kit and a bunch of bandages and rubbing alcohol. I rolled my eyes but honestly was scared. That shot was going to hurt really badly. I closed my eyes as he cleaned everything up and bandaged them, wincing and turning my head to the side as I tried to stifle my pain by gritting my teeth. I didn’t know when he was done until he kissed me. I opened my eyes.

“You can’t very well stay exposed like that.” His arms were on either side of my body, trapping me there. He had on grey sweatpants meanwhile I was completely naked here. In his hand I saw a shirt, probably one he had grabbed for himself but I didn’t quite care. I snatched it from him, shoving him away a little so that I could lean up and throw it on. It was baggy but not incredibly so, going down to the tops of my thighs.

“Have another pair of boxers?” I yawned. He looked me up and down lazily before heading to a drawer and finding what I had requested. He handed one to me and I leaned on my back, throwing my hips forward to slide them on. Then I rolled onto my stomach and began to crawl back to my beloved spot on his bed before remembering the little gold compass I had left in the living room. I sighed. “Hold on.” I rolled on my side and threw my legs off the edge of his bed, hauling myself up onto my feet as he went to the other side to get in.

“Wait, what-” He began as I exited the room, my eyes half closed and clutching my side. I could feel something heavy in my chest and as soon as I left the room and got far enough I coughed violently, curling forward a bit as my hand went to my mouth. When I pulled it back I looked down. Well, shit. There was more blood this time. It dripped down my fingers and threatened to get on his floor. I ran to the kitchen and washed it away, scrubbing my hands good before taking a deep breath and pushing back my hair. I must have been really good at hiding it because Levi hasn’t dragged me to the hospital yet.

My feet pattered against his floor as I fought my way in the dark to find the compass. When I accidently hit it, the gold jingling softly, I grabbed it and held it to my chest. For some reason I felt better having it on me than away from me. I went back into Levi’s room and crawled into bed, tucking myself in the blanket and letting out a shaky breath.

Levi moved himself behind me and circled his arms around my waist spooning me. I pushed myself closer to his warmth glad that he was holding me right now. He didn’t question what I did or why I had that compass clutched to me. He just left me be, the only sound being our slowing breaths and the near silent heating system. It took me a little to find my own peace because of the heavy feeling in my chest and the sharp pains across my body but eventually I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 

I started dreaming of bright lights and angel wings in the beginning. All I could see was soft light radiating down on me, enveloping me in the warm glow. I smiled, lifting my hand up to meet it, following it, laughing and dancing in the center of the glow. It seemed to wrap solely around me, seemed to be made only for me. It was lovely.

But things turned ugly real quick. The light vanished and replacing it was black blood. The anxiety I had felt when getting attacked came back and I started breathing hard, turning away from it. I could see a pair of amber eyes that looked like snake eyes. And then I saw the claws reaching out for me, going for my throat.

I jerked up, the room dark around me. I was lying on my back breathing fast. I looked over and noticed Levi wasn’t there. Where did he go? I picked myself up on my elbows and looked around for a clock and my jaw dropped. It was five thirty! The store, my books, everything ran through my head and my heart stopped in fear. I had no clue why I slept so long in the first place.

I threw the blankets off of me and ran to the window, pushing back the curtains. The city was already dark, the only remnants of the afternoon visible in a sliver of cerulean blue at the horizon. I held onto the curtain looking down at the city and watching the people that looked like ants move around and the cars zip by, honking and speeding down the road. Where had the day gone?

I looked towards Levi’s bed and noticed something gold gleaming from up under the blanket. Walking over to it with my hand on the hem of the shirt I crawled back into his bed and got in a sitting position, reaching over to grasp the gold object. It was the compass, the one given to me by Petra. My fingers wrapped around the smooth metal, warm to the touch. I brought it closer to me, thinking about everything that had happened last night. I closed my eyes from the influx of memories.

Last night. Levi. The shadows. Hitch. Her demon claws. Her teeth bearing down at my neck. Trying to rip me apart. Trying to kill me. Then being saved. And the flash of light. The ashes. The blood. The pain. Passing out.

My eyes flew open and I immediately went back to looking at my body, in complete shock. No way. With the injuries I sustained yesterday I shouldn’t even be able to walk. Not without feeling every last part of me ache. Yet I felt nothing. And I had absolutely no remnants of pain, not even a little. I started pulling apart the bandages to see if it was possible and sure enough I got my answer. On the bandages was old blood probably from last night but other than that nothing. I had no wounds on my skin, no scars even to prove that I was ever injured. I touched over the spots that should have been sore and bleeding with my fingers in pure disbelief.

There was only one explanation that I could possibly come up with. The compass. My eyes went back to it, now resting on my leg. I picked it back up and examined it. It was just a normal looking compass really but I knew what it actually was. It was something else, something dangerous and exciting, helpful and warm. It could warn me of impending doom by locating demons but it was also some sort of- some kind of weapon. It was able to burn Hitch in the blink of an eye. And it was also able to heal me completely.

I bit my bottom lip and gathered all the dirty bandages, putting the compass around my neck by the gold chain. I kinda didn’t want to leave it out of my sight. Bandages in hand, I walked out of Levi’s room to his kitchen where I found a styrofoam box and a little note scrawled in his loopy, cursive handwriting. I smiled and threw the bandages away before grabbing the note.

_You were sleeping pretty peacefully so I couldn’t wake you. I got you something for breakfast so make sure you eat. And don’t worry about the store. I can handle it. –Levi_

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face at how incredibly sweet Levi sounded. He went out of his way to get me breakfast and open the store for me. It was almost too much for me to handle. I put the note down and went to take a peek at the food he got me and as soon as I saw what it was a warm feeling washed over me, my heart fluttering. It was French toast. The same French toast I had ordered back when we went to that dinner practically a week ago, when we had barely known each other and I thought he hated me. But nope. He remembered.

I put the food on a plate and microwaved it for a minute and in a flash I was eating it. Actually I pretty much scarfed the thing down I was so hungry. Hmmm. Maybe it had something to do with the insane healing I apparently went through last night.

After I was done I washed the plate I used and plopped myself down on Levi’s couch. My phone was actually on his table but it wasn’t on. And it was also pretty dirty with gravel and what looked to be soot. _The ashes from Hitch_. A shiver went down my spine and I quickly cleaned it off with a tissue on Levi’s coffee table, not really wanting to remember seeing her crispified body. Then I turned it on. It took a few seconds and the screen had a few cracks but it was up and running and blaring with unread messages and calls. Oh, crap.

I went through my notifications and shrunk back from them. Oh, god. Eren. And Armin. And Sasha. Even Ymir and Krista and Connie. They had all either called or text me about my birthday yesterday, wanting to meet up or something to celebrate. And when I never responded they kind of got worried. Eren was a whole other story when it came to worrying though.

He and Armin had apparently been waiting at my apartment and when I did a no-show they freaked out. I bit my bottom lip and stood up. Eren was going to swing by my apartment after work at seven and if I didn’t show up he’d go full-blown crazy and flip shit. Literally. So I stood up and decided I best be there.

I grabbed whatever clothes I could scrounge up and made the best of it. A lot of Levi’s clothes were short but honestly I had no choice. His shirts fit fine so that was a plus. I threw on my dirty shoes and looked for my coat and scarf. They were hanging pristine and cleaned by the door. Of course he would, I thought with a smile as I slipped them on. Then I was out the door and in the elevator, out Levi’s apartment.

The cold air hit me but it was very much welcomed. I don’t know why but I stood there for a second just looking at everything, just listening to everything around me. I was alive and I was ok. And this was the real world around me right now. Even with the ghosts floating about, that didn’t matter. Because I was ok.

I stayed away from as many ghosts as possible as I walked to my apartment, thinking about yesterday and the battle. I forgot my purse at Levi’s house which had whatever protective stuff I had left from yesterday. I would have to go out and get more supplies later anyway seeing as how I used up a lot of it with Hitch.

I reached my apartment building, my fingers wrapped tightly around my keys to the front door. Taking a deep breath I finally went up to it and unlocked the door, stepping into the building and going right to the escalator. Then I went inside and hit the button for my floor.

It felt like forever before the door opened and I stepped out, staring at my watch. I still had a half hour before he showed up. I took a deep breath and let it out, looking up finally. But I froze instantly at who was already at my door. Eren.

As soon as he saw me he stood up, throwing his hands deep in his pockets and taking on a slouching stance and it was then I knew something was up. His eyebrows were furrowed on top of his head clearly indicating he was thinking about something. I could read Eren like a book. I swallowed, continuing to walk to my door as if everything was ok, moving my scarf up close to my mouth.

“Hey, Eren.” I said casually as I produced my keys and got it into the door. Eren watched me, frowning.

“You weren’t home yesterday even when we called you a bunch of times.” He said flat out, his tone factual with a slight angry undertone. I flicked my eyes to him and saw there was something he wanted to say in those teal eyes of his. I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Yeah, I had to do something last night and my phone kind of died on me.” I lied as I opened the door, stepping into my apartment. I turned the lights on so I could see where I was going and stepped out of my shoes. Eren followed behind me but didn’t exactly make himself comfortable. He kept all his stuff on. That wasn’t a good sign.

“And you didn’t think to look at your phone when you got home?” He asked. I flinched just a little at his harsher tone now, not enough for him to see. Why did he care so much what I did last night? I mean sure, it was my birthday and he and Armin had showed up here waiting for me like expressed in the millions of texts and calls that flooded my phone when I turned it on but still.

“I forgot.” I tried to justify it casually but it sounded like I was trying to make myself believe it too. I sighed, a little tired at how annoying all this was. But Eren didn’t seem to be buying any of that and I didn’t blame him. I got defensive. “Why do you keep questioning me? I’m home now so it’s fine.” I tried to defuse the situation but that only charged him more. Well, I tried.

He narrowed his eyes at me and moved to position himself in front of me so I couldn’t keep moving around. I caught his eyes for a moment before I downcast my eyes. “Move, I have to- I have to get something from the living room.” I stumbled over my words a little. Any excuse not to look at him right now would suffice to me.

“You won’t even look me in the eyes and you expect me to believe you? Seriously?” He pointed out in a chastising voice. I still didn’t turn my head towards him. He sighed angrily, annoyed with me. “Mikasa, seriously, what were you doing yesterday night?” He came right out with it. So I had though correct. He wanted to know about last night. But why did he care so much?

“I wasn’t doing anything. I went to a few stores and kinda got hooked on a book I was reading at the library.” I finally met his eyes, daring him to test me. There, that was definitely more believable. But Eren just crossed his arms in front of himself, incredulous.

“What was the name of the library?” He looked at me for the answer and I swear he already knew he had me. My eyes widened a little. That was it. I had no clue what to say, my mouth opening to reply but no words came out. Because he knew I didn’t go to a library and that I wouldn’t even know the name of any close ones around here. Even though I probably really should have. And I was finally caught in the lie. I winced.

“See? You’re lying! It’s as plain as day, Mikasa!” He shouted. He turned around and I shrunk back. Then he turned back to me. “I don’t get it! Why would you lie to me? We’re _family_.” He said as if I had actually stabbed him or something. The look on his face was kind of like a slap to mine. I raised a worried eyebrow at him, confused but wondering what he was talking about.

“What do you mean? Why are you getting so mad about this?” I wondered, keeping my voice steady. Because I really didn’t understand what he was talking about. He stared at me like I had asked the stupidest question ever.

Eren looked down for a second as he reached into his pocket and he pulled his hand out to produce a shiny silver coin. I took a second to stare the thing down before looking back at him. “What does that have to do with- ”

“I seem to recall this belonging to you.” He grabbed my hand and shoved the coin in it. I shook my head a little at him. What the hell? But he only raised both his eyebrows at me, staring hard at the coin and then back at me. “Look at it.” He demanded. I glared at him for the faintest of moments before I sighed and gave in.

I brought the coin eye level and examined it. And upon closer inspection I finally understood. My earlier angry expression melted away completely as I felt the cool silver in my hands, turning it over between my fingers ever so slowly. I recognized every ridge, every indent in that coin because I held it many times before this. The very coin I had dropped last night in the fight for my life against something inhuman.

“What are you doing Mikasa?” My eyes snapped up to look at Eren, hearing the new tone in his voice, something softer, something more vulnerable about it. His eyes searched mines as if he would get the answers just from looking at me. “Why was the coin I gave you after… after the accident in the middle of a crime scene, with your prints?” He almost whispered now.

I blinked a few times, the silence between us deafening. Eren stood up a little straighter again, his eyes changing just as quickly.

“And why did Levi tell me to destroy the evidence when I asked about it?” He said a bit harder this time. Wait, how did Levi get involved? Eren looked right at me as if reading the question even before I spoke it. “I went to your store to ask you and he was there. So when I told him about your prints on the coin he looked at me hard before practically shoving me into the back room and demanding I destroy all of it, everything. And he wouldn’t let me leave until I swore I would.” He rushed out, the anger flaring once again. His brows furrowed atop his head. I knew I should probably speak now.

“I…” It wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell him. I had always wanted to tell Eren, Armin, hell, even Sasha about everything. They were the closest thing I had to a family now. It killed me to hide such a scary thing from them. But I had to deal with it all by myself because I didn’t want to get them involved in all that shit. I couldn’t get them hurt for my own selfish desires. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

“I can’t Eren.” I met his eyes, trying desperately to force him to understand. But from the way he looked at me he wasn’t going to do that. He balled his hands up into fists at his sides.

“What do you mean, you can’t?” There was a sharpness to his voice. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. But I couldn’t exactly tell him that I almost died because a demon practically ripped me to shreds last night.

“I _can’t_.” I insisted. He couldn’t know about it, about the things I see or the monsters coming to attack me. He had to stay innocent, stay ignorant for his own good.

“But I’m your brother!” He sounded agitated but also hurt. “We’re family! You can share whatever with me.” He shouted back, getting himself worked up over it. When Eren cared he got mad at things and that was to be expected. But I also had to get through to him.

“No, you don’t get it. _I can’t_.” I repeated in the hopes that he would finally realize to leave it. My voice was hard, persistent. I would be adamant about this. Eren could never know what I saw every single day of my life, the horrors I had to go through to live like this. He could _never_ know what it was like to live every day afraid to leave your own apartment, to get the influx of horrible, frightening memories of human souls or the terror of being hunted for a gift you never even asked for to begin with.

Eren looked at me long and hard and at first I thought he was going to fight back and insist I tell him everything again right here and now. I felt stupid then, so stupid that I couldn’t tell one of the people I held dearest the truth. I could feel the frustration in myself, the very frustration that now caused a familiar warmth in the back of my eyes. No way would I cry right now.

But his outrage seemed to also be a thin, taunt line between caring so much he wanted to protect me and caring too much that he wanted to know absolutely everything that went on in my life. And I didn’t blame him for that. When I was kidnapped and almost killed something in Eren changed. He wasn’t awful, he was just more concerned for me more than ever, especially after I wouldn’t talk for almost two months.

Eren took a deep breath filled with fury and let it out in a roar. Then he ran a hand through his hair. “Fine. Don’t tell me what the hell’s going on.” He said before he moved, this time around me. I whipped around and looked at his back as he continued to stomp around my apartment to my front door. He turned the lock harder than necessary and flung open the door. But before he left he stopped and not turning around he spoke. “If you think you can keep going on like this Mikasa, you’re wrong. You’re living in your own lies and one day that’s going to get the best of you.” And with those foreboding words he left my apartment, slamming the door closed behind him.

I stood there, my eyes wide open looking at the shut door. I didn’t know how long I stared at it before my eyes stung and I had to blink, my eyes watering from the lack of doing so. I looked down at my hands, a single tear forming at the corner of my eye, at the silver coin. The silver coin that was useless to me last night. And Eren knew it was mine. And he knew something was up now more than ever. And I couldn’t tell him anything. I couldn’t tell him a single thing.

I let out a sigh, knowing I couldn’t just stand there all day. I looked down at the floor and turned on my heels, feeling wretched for the things that transpired in less than ten minutes. Here Eren was genuinely concerned for me and I was being impossible- with good reason, of course. I threw my keys on the kitchen table before heading to my room, stripping out of Levi’s clothes as I walked.

I actually wanted to take a shower, so that’s what I was going to do. Think about things and wash myself down. And I’d be able to give myself a good look in the shower too because the fact that I was standing here still ok and walking was too mind-blowing even for me. So off to the bathroom I went, my thoughts a jumbled mess.

What exactly was happening to my life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, the long awaited 14th chapter minna! Thank you so much for reading this fic or for keeping up with it when I basically went AWOL. Again, I apologize for disappearing. Life is really something, yeah? Anyway... If you liked it, leave a comment. I won't bite, I promise.


	15. Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so again, I apologize for the long wait. But I promise this fic will actually be complete one day! Here you go guys! The -maybe- long awaited chapter 15!

I collapsed on the couch in matching red flannel pajamas, my hair still soaking wet from my shower, and yelled in frustration into the throw pillow my face oh so elegantly fell into. The shower had definitely given me enough thinking time. Way too much, if you ask me. So now I was left completely frazzled.

Because if I told you the truth I could have predicted something like this was bound to happen from the start. Petra warned me that demons were after me. She warned me _and_ I had felt something was coming for a long time now, something darker than just a regular old Dark One.

And it was also a matter of time before Eren or Armin or both of them figured something was up with me. There was only so much I could hide and lie about to my family. They were my family. While I was worried about the fact that Eren was more suspicious of me now it kind of came as a relief. Maybe I didn’t have to hide everything from them after all. Maybe I could trust them like I trusted Levi.

I turned over so that I wouldn’t suffocate in the pillow and winced at the florescent lights, hiding my eyes in the crook of my elbow. One thought didn’t quite make sense to me. Well, besides the fact that I had no wounds anywhere on my body. Because hell if I knew how that could happen to humans except if they maybe got a little help from some other higher being, like say, a freaking angel perhaps.

Why did I trust Levi, of all people, with my truth? Why did I tell him everything when I barely knew him? I didn’t know how that even happened. It was all just… just something I could trust him with. That was the only reason I could come up with. I didn’t trust anyone else because I was too afraid to get them caught up in my mess, to have them worry over me, to be scared for me, to be ashamed of me.

I sunk deeper into the couch. There was no way I would be able to handle it if they were ashamed of me for something I couldn’t control. But here I was trusting this random guy. Not my family, not my friends. Nope, Levi, a guy who basically _told_ me he was going to work in my bookstore. A guy I really only knew for a week. A guy I even _slept_ with. Twice!

My face was engulfed in flames and I took the pillow out from behind my head and covered it quickly, letting out a groan. Oh, god, what have I done? I never acted like this! Sasha had joked about the fact that I’ve never had one night stands and Ymir told me that getting laid was something a woman needed to do multiple times in order to live a full life- that is, before she found Krista- but I never even contemplated that. And here I was, sleeping with Levi when I didn’t know anything about him really.

Actually that was a lie. I knew some stuff about him. Some of which I found out snooping around and using Eren for. But still, that did not excuse the fact that I was- I don’t even know. Sleeping around? Is that what you called this?

I felt a pang in my chest, a feeling that I didn’t really like as I came to that conclusion. Were we really only sleeping together? I hugged the pillow to my chest now, frowning.

“Meow!” Came a little sound off to the left of me.  I was jarred out of my thoughts, looking over to where the sound originated from to find the culprit. I found just what I was looking for in the form of the lovely neighborhood black ghost cat. He was sitting ever so elegantly on the floor in front of the couch staring at me, not once blinking. For some reason I felt as if he was giving me a chastising adult face, like he knew what I was worrying about and calling me stupid. I puckered my lips out but just sighed.

“What’s up little kitty?” I asked aloud although I knew he couldn’t exactly speak to me. I turned on my side and laid my hand out so that maybe he could come to me and I could pet him. But he never moved forward. “No, you don’t want to be pet? Alright.” I shrugged. I stared at him for a little bit before I went back to my own thoughts again.

I might as well let all my friends know I’m not dead or something at least. I looked at the clock. Explaining that to them was going to take up a lot of time though…

 

An extra cheese pizza and two hours later and I was finally finished calming Sasha down. She had been the most difficult to reason with. She was totally expecting to hang out with me on my birthday and when I didn’t even text back she got super worried and swung by the apartment. When I never answered she called Armin and Eren and that caused everyone basically to freak out. Which was awesome because, you know, I was only twenty two years old and all. But apparently that was not enough for them, me being a grown ass adult.

I polished off my third slice and swung my legs out from the chair effortlessly. I didn’t want to admit it but I understood where the worry came from. The last time I pulled a no show like that was when I was kidnapped. I guess that really did leave a heavy scar on my friends, almost as bad as the one it left on me.

I reminded all of them to chill out though and promised I would do something with all of them on Friday, as a big belated birthday party kind of thing. Birthdays weren’t really a big deal for me. Scratch that, my own birthday wasn’t a big deal for me. When it was Armin’s or Eren’s or any of my friend’s birthdays I always celebrated them. But I never really cared for my own too much.

I put my phone down and got up off my chair, taking a last sip of water from my glass before licking my fingers of the dough residue and going to find zip-lock bags for the leftover slices I didn’t finish. After I properly stored them I went and grabbed that book lying there on my kitchen table. You know, the one about the angels. Yup, I was determined to read it.

I headed to my office and sat down on the comfy chair there, getting all nice and cozy for a good read. There was a lot I myself didn’t know about the things going on with me. When I had first realized I could see spirits I did a lot of research on it. Most of it was useless because it wasn’t all fact based but more opinionated. Which I understood seeing as how what I had was probably one of a kind in and of itself. I would have never believed it was possible to see spirits in a millions years. But here I was living every day seeing hundreds of them a day. It was exhausting.

But I never once thought of the day where I would see an angel. Not once. But now that I knew they were real, well, I didn’t just want to go in blind. Except, like before, I couldn’t exactly trust what I read. It was better than nothing though. So I read for an hour or so taking in all the information I could by my window, letting the late February sunlight filter through the room and blanket me in whatever warmth it could give. I only noticed I had been sitting there reading for so long when I started squinting to read the words, the room getting darker.

Eventually I just couldn’t read anymore so I had to stop. I let my head roll back and tipped the chair back as well, angling it so I could look more clearly at the ceiling, letting out a breath. This book wasn’t giving me anything to go on to be quite honest. Or at least I didn’t believe it was giving me _enough_ information. So a lot of it I didn’t think would be useful for describing what Petra was all about.

I put the book down on my desk and stood up. Any more of sitting here doing nothing and I was going to go insane. So off to my room I went, changing into jeans, a red button down shirt with black tank top underneath and simple black ankle boots. I grabbed my red coat this time and was about to head out the door before something in me shouted “compass!” I froze in my hallway, a thousand thoughts going through my mind in an instant. Do I leave it? Would that even be a wise decision seeing as it had saved my life? But was it dangerous? Honestly, I didn’t know. But something told me it was better to keep it with me so I grabbed it, stuffed the thing into my messenger bag, threw it over my shoulders and left my apartment to the elevator.

I waited patiently for the elevator doors to open and when they did I was glad, about to board it. That’s when I heard crying, the soft, slightly static-y cry of someone who has long since passed on from this world. I recognized that cry immediately from the first day I had moved into my new apartment. The girl who was keeping company on the elevator. Guess it was time I finally did something about that.

There was only one problem. There was another person currently on the elevator. I smiled at him, the crying of the girl in the corner of the elevator echoing through the enclosed space. But only I could hear it. So I contemplated what to do as it went lower, my thumbs in my pants pockets. It seemed like forever and I felt really awful for leaving the ghost girl sitting there on the floor crying but I couldn’t exactly start talking to her unless I wanted to look like a complete psycho now.

Eventually the doors opened and the guy got off to the main lobby. No one else was boarding the thing so I waited for the doors to close again and then I clicked the emergency stop button on the inside to bar it from opening and going anywhere. Then I turned to her, her face hidden behind long faded brown hair, head buried in her lap. What I did notice is her pink spirit swirling right in the middle of her chest. I felt bad as I knelt there in front of her. What a pretty spirit she had, yet here she was, not able to move on to the Bright Place.

“Hey there. Do you need some help?” I asked in a low, calming voice. She was startled by me and hiccupped, looking up abruptly and flinching toward the cold surface of the metal walls in the elevator. I put my hands up, looking into her brown eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” I tried to assure her, meaning it. “I’m only here to help you.” She couldn’t have been more than twelve. She was wearing a long nightgown, tattered and frayed at the edges.

She stared at me, looking me up and down, her eyes reminding me or a wary deer. Her mouth opened and a small noise escaped her lips. Then she tried again. “H… How can you see me?” Her voice was fragile and breaking but I didn’t mind. I smiled.

“One day I woke up and I could just see people who usually aren’t seen.” I said, most definitely simplifying my little gift for her own sake. I rubbed my hands up and down my knees. “Why are you crying?” I asked her, trying to find out any information, to get her to tell me her story so I could help her move on. She just stared at me again.

“I… I don’t remember. Mommy, she was always with me. But I don’t know where she went. Mommy’s gone and I can’t find her!” She wailed and I could see the tears forming in her eyes, spilling down her tear-streaked face. I frowned. Dealing with children always seemed to affect me more than when I dealt with adults. It hurt more when I saw those small faces lost and filled with sorrow, not knowing what happened to them or not fully understanding it. I had to think on my toes.

“Hey, it’s ok little girl. Your mommy is waiting for you I bet. It’s ok. You will find her.” I promised, although I didn’t really know if that was true. It would have been easier if I could tell what decade she was from but in these clothes it was hard to tell. “Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” I asked, again trying to make her talk. I was on a thin wire here. That button wouldn’t hold off if someone from the building used the main controls for it.

She let out a few gasps of air, trying to catch her breath before looking back up at me, her little brows furrowed in thought now. She took her hand and wiped under her noise, sniffling a few times before she started talking. “I was sick and Mommy was trying to take care of me. She left…” Her brows furrowed again and she looked down, trying to think. “She left to go to work. We didn’t have a father, so she had to work a lot and we didn’t get to see her, me and my brother,” her story was becoming a little harder to piece together but I tried to stay on it. So she had a brother then.

“And what happened? Do you remember anything else?” I asked her slowly, with a gentle, clear voice. Again, I just wanted information. She looked up at me again, brown hair moving over her shoulders.

“When she left I got really tired. And I remembered I was wheezing. And I started coughing. And then I got really sleepy and I was shivering. I was really, really cold.” She kept up with the story, as if she had gone over it a thousand times before in her head. Her brown eyes seemed to be looking past me somehow though. “My brother hopped into my bed even when I yelled at him not to but he didn’t listen.” A ghost of a smile spread over her lips. “And he was trying to warm me up but it didn’t work. And when I told him I was sleepy he got really annoying and kept poking me. That was so annoying, he kept poking my arms and my cheeks and I hit his hands away.” She pouted her lips like a child who was mad but then it turned into a solemn happiness. “But I got real sleepy and I finally closed my eyes. And when I… When I opened t-them.” Her eyes started watering and I could tell exactly where she was going with this.

“Shhh, shhh.” I cooed, bending towards her, hand outstretched but I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing. Maybe, just maybe… I reached out to her anyway, ignoring what would surely happen to me and touched the top of her head. As soon as my hand came into contact with her ghostly body I was taken by the flood of her emotions as if a moving picture was going on in my mind. Her in her bed, her dark little apartment. Her coughs, scratchy and filled with the sound of fluid. Her brother poking her. The cold sweat on her skin, her tattered clothing. The way she felt cold, the way she felt so sleepy. I could see the entire scene of her death, all because of one touch.

I clenched my eyes shut, letting my body take on the sick feelings from the memory and realize they were not my own. After taking a deep breath and gritting my teeth I finally relaxed and opened my eyes, focusing on what was in front of me. A little girl who needed help moving on. That’s why I was here, that’s why I was given this “gift” to see spirits. To help them.

I continued to pet down her hair and tell her everything was ok. But my time was running out now. “Listen, do you, I don’t know. Do you want to see if you can come with me?” I asked on a whim. I couldn’t quite do anything here anymore. The elevator was going to start working any minute now and I still had to help her. She looked up at me again, a little nervous. “I promise I won’t do anything bad to you. Maybe you can have a little fun there while you’re at it.” I smiled kindly, trying to remain open.

“Aaa.. But I don’t know you.” She said warily, twirling some hair with her small little fingers.

“It’s ok. Maybe we can get to know each other.” I stood up and held my hand down to her. Someone was coming on over the speakers telling me what was wrong and that the elevator would be working in just a few moments but I ignored them. “Come on. You might even like it where I’m going.” I told her. I loved going to bookstores when I was a kid so who knows, maybe the kid would like it too.

She sat there for a few moments before finally getting up. When she finally placed her hand in mine I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, a feeling of pride sweeping through me. This is what I liked to do and it was hard to admit but it was true. I liked helping people. The elevator started moving then and I turned around, the little girls hand in mine. I looked down at her and thought of a very important question. “So can I ask what your name is, pretty?” I tipped to my side and smiled at her. She looked up at me shyly.

“Hazel.” She said in a small voice. Hazel. That was a pretty name. I told her as much as we climbed to the lobby floor. And then I was walking out of the apartment with a little ghost girl tagging along for the ride.

 

I finally arrived to the bookstore, still awkwardly trying to hold on to Hazel’s hand. Because, you know, it didn’t look strange at all walking the streets of Manhattan like you were holding onto someone or telling them not to touch stuff or run into traffic or, god forbid, ask that random stranger what he was doing with snakes in his ears (they were actually earbuds…). It was very tiring. But we got there. I took a deep breath and told her that she had to make sure to be on her best behavior once she entered, moving my hair around my face so that it didn’t look windblown. And then I entered my store.

“Ooo, it’s so big!” Hazel exclaimed, letting go of my hand. I opened my mouth to say something to her like to be polite and not bother the other readers but then thought better. No one else could hear her anyway and I would rather not look any more like a crazy person than I already do. Instead my eyes had locked onto three things. Well, more like three people.

Berthold was moving around on the second floor because I could see him by the railings as clear as day, he was so tall. Marco was politely helping someone locate a book, all smiles and cuteness per usual. And Levi. Ya, he was staring right at me as if he had seen a ghost. That’s the only way I can describe it. Because he was literally staring at me, shocked, eyes wide and frozen in a position where he was about to hand someone their book.

It seemed like an eternity passed before I swallowed the lump in my throat and finally decided to move along. “H-hey, Marco, Bertholdt.” I called to them, giving the two a little wave. I didn’t even address Levi yet. That was going to be a lot harder to do, seeing as how he probably thought I was going to be comatose for a while in his house after what went down the other day.

Marco turned to me and gave a little wave. “Hey, Mikasa! We heard you were sick today. What are you doing here?” He looked at me a little worried. So that was the tory Levi had given them. I smiled as politely as possible.

“Looks like I got all better.” I shrugged, undoing the buttons on my coat as I walked to the break room. I could hear Levi had resumed his bagging at the front counter but I couldn’t bear to look at him again. I just had no clue what I was going to say to him. ‘Hey, I’m actually not dead!’ didn’t seem very appropriate.

Bertholdt had said hello from where he was and I said hi back, yelling so he could hear me better. Hazel was busying herself running amuck now, looking at the shelves and the people. She seemed to really like things like stoplights and computers, all the technology she wasn’t familiar to, but I made sure to tell her not to touch anything beforehand. If she short-circuited my computer in the store I would be screwed.

“Well, that’s good!” Marco said before being tapped on the shoulder and his attention went to the guy in need. I smiled. He was such a good soul. I reached the break room and got myself situated, putting my purse down and hanging my coat up on one of the pegs beside Levi’s coat. Then I straightened out my shirt and walked right on out of there, my thoughts falling on the store, the compass, what I would say to Levi and the little Hazel I was babysitting for the time being.

“It feels a lot better in here since we got the heating fixed.” I said to make small talk to the others, I was desperately trying to avoid Levi’s stare because I could feel, even from fifteen feet away, his eyes boring a hole in the back of my head. Bertholdt looked over the railing to me, smiling.

“I’m happy Reiner could help then. H-he told me that he had worked in here to repair the heating so, so I mean, I’m glad he could help.” He said politely, a kind smile on his face. I nodded my head.

“Well tell him thank you again for me. He did a good job.” I said back, finding my way behind the counter, still trying not to look at Levi. But it was getting excruciatingly hard. We were only five feet apart now and it was almost as if I could just feel him emotions rolling off him now: shock, confusion, frustration maybe even. I just got to work clicking away at the computer and doing the work the owner should be doing. Like a proper owner. Maybe I could avoid Levi’s stare for a few more hours.

“Mikasa.” And there went any shred of hope I had left of avoiding his questions. I shrunk down in my chair at the way Levi’s voice sounded, both commanding but confused. I pretended not to hear it at first but I knew I wouldn’t get away with that for long. I could hear footsteps behind me and then they stopped inches away from the back of my chair. “Mikasa.” It was Levi again, but his voice was softer, making me close my eyes and feel really awful for ignoring him the first time. I slowly turned my chair around, dreading the talk.

“Levi, I can explain-“ I didn’t even get another word out of my mouth before Levi had me trapped, both of his arms on the side of my chair, and his lips pressed into mines just as quickly. My eyes widened from the sudden contact, not at all expecting him to do that clear as day in public but I was wrong and here he was kissing me. I was tense into the kiss but I relaxed and closed my eyes. When he finally pulled back I opened my eyes, still a little dazed from that and just blinked up at him, taking in his expression.

See, the thing is with Levi he was very much like me. He didn’t outwardly show his emotions for anything. Instead he kept them bottled in and did what he thought was right not just for his sake but for those around him. Except like me he showed his emotions in his eyes. Just from looking into those grey eyes of his I could tell he had been not only worried but afraid and that hurt. I should have been more honest with him. I should have text him to tell him I was ok. But here I was ignoring him.

“We can talk later.” He beat me to any comment I was going to make on the abrupt kiss and stood up, walking away from me. All I could do was sit there looking at him go back to the register before I forced myself to stop staring and actually formed words to speak.

“Um, yeah. Ok.” I bit my bottom lip, unsure of where to go from there. So just left it for now. If anyone else had seen that I didn’t really care because I was suffering from random Levi-kiss syndrome at the moment, my brain foggy and unfocused. And that’s basically how I was going to be for a while.

 

The day had gone along well enough. Actually, if I had to notice something different it was that there were more customers today than any other day. I chalked it up to a growing business, possibly more familiarity as a new business in the area. Hopefully it would stay like this because she needed the money to be honest. These bills wouldn’t pay themselves.

In between my only break and walking around helping customers I had gotten in a few words to Hazel, showing her around as casually as I could as if talking to customers when really I was explaining to my little ghost friend where certain books were. Hazel had lost herself to the kids’ books about fairytales and before I knew it I was saying goodbye to Bertholdt and then Marco.

“You guys be safe getting home, alright?” I told them, opening the front door for them. “Have a nice night.” I bid them. They wished me a good night too while I flipped the sign to ‘Closed’ and left for the night. When I turned around Levi was looking at me from his place in one of the bookshelves.

“Mikasa,” He began but this time I was the one to cut him off. I was waiting all day for this moment, preparing what I was going to say.

“Listen,” I ran a hand through my hair, “I can’t really tell you what happened. I’m sorry. But all I know is that I have a hunch it has something to do with the angel.” I looked from my hands to Levi. For some reason I couldn’t say Petra’s name out loud. I don’t really know if it was for my sake or for Levi’s but I just couldn’t. “And that compass. Which I still don’t know what its purpose is exactly but I do know it saved my- our lives.” I fixed myself because in reality yesterday we both could have been seriously in trouble there. As in we both could have ended up dead by the hands of an evil demon.

Levi just looked at me, his eyes scanning my body as if he was trying to read me. He had done that a few times today actually but I had ignored it, assuming that was the natural reaction to seeing someone being healed from possible- and probably- serious injuries that could have killed.

“You looked like you were going to die yesterday.” He said truthfully, his voice never wavering. In that moment I finally understood what he was thinking all along, what he was probably dreading all day. I furrowed my eyebrows at the thought.

Levi had seen me cut up and bleeding, injured from top to bottom by a demon that very much wanted my life and could have had it in seconds had he not shown up. I would have been dead if not for his involvement, because I do think he had something to do with it in the end. But I had come out of it pretty beaten to the point where it was life or death there. I knew I could have died because of the way I coughed and how I hacked up blood. Of course Levi too had known how serious it was but for some reason he trusted me enough not to bring me to a hospital and I don’t know why he did but he had seriously put his faith in me.

I bit my bottom lip before talking again. “I know. But I didn’t.” I said slowly, walking to where he was by the set of bookshelves. I stopped right in front of him and grabbed his hand, bringing it up and pressing my palm to his own, looking right into his eyes. “I’m ok. Really. I’m ok.” I repeated, pressing my hand into his warm one. He didn’t even look at our hands, he just looked at me, at my eyes, trying to figure things out in his own head. I could almost guarantee he was coming to the same conclusions for himself as I did before. That was fine.

It only took a moment before he finally understood that in the end everything was ok. That I was really here standing in front of him ok and very much alive. I could see the change in his demeanor, a lighter air about himself, different from the darker one he had all day. He knew I was ok and that’s what mattered in the end.

“Ok.” That was all he said about it. I let out a few breaths, taking a more relaxed stance myself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about yesterday. You knew I was keeping something from you. But I really didn’t want to involve you in anything that would risk your life.” I looked at him seriously now. “This is something that was given to _me_. I shouldn’t be dragging you into this too.” I felt desperate in that moment, every word out of my mouth the truth. I couldn’t risk an innocent person’s life in my own madness. Levi certainly didn’t need any of this anyway. Now he was glaring at me like that was the last thing he wanted to hear.

“Mikasa, you almost got yourself killed. Do you even realize what could have happened out there?” He didn’t even wait for me to answer either. “You were reckless, your movements were slow and you _could have died_.” His tone was harsh, calling me out on all the stupid things I did that night. I flinched from having it thrown in my face like that. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “If you plan on being reckless like that than I have no choice but to follow you around and make sure you don’t get yourself killed.” And there goes that commanding air about him. He was not about to budge on this.

“Levi, I can’t…” I was about to say I couldn’t risk his life too but something else caught my attention behind him. Hazel was standing as far away from Levi as possible looking at us from that distance. My mouth slammed shut and I looked nervously back and forth from Hazel to Levi. “Uh, now this may or may not seem weird but there’s a ghost behind you. And I’m just gonna, yeah. I’ll be just a second.” Might as well just come out with it seeing as how he already knows I talk to ghosts and all. I weaved my way past him and went over to Hazel, a little unsure as to why she was standing so far away.

“What’s wrong Hazel? Why are you so far away from me?” I asked, stooping down so I was closer to eye level with her. She looked at Levi for a few seconds and then turned her beady eyes to me.

“I can’t get any closer.” She was very clear in what she said, not even hesitating. Yet her statement made no sense to me.

“What do you mean you can’t get any closer?” I asked. She shrugged and pointed to Levi.

“He won’t let me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just left this baby on a nice little cliffhanger. I wanted to spice things up a bit but it's a little shorter than I thought teehee. What answers lie in store for Mikasa now? Will this be the final piece of the puzzle she needs or will this only lead to more questions? Lets see how this will play out in the future! Like what you read? Leave a comment! Didn't like it? Leave a comment anyway! I love hearing from you guys. And as always thank you for keeping up with my craziness! Until next time!


	16. Veering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is late, that much I know. Sorry guys, I'm awful. But this story will have an end eventually. I'm just having too much fun writing it to reach that point yet. And again, sorry for the late update minna!

I completely froze, sitting there looking at her. For me it seemed like time had stopped, like I was thinking too fast and everything else had to catch up around me. She was pointing to Levi. Yet all he was doing was standing there probably clueless and just as confused as before. He wasn’t doing anything special, he was just standing there.

But at the same time it seemed to just explain so much now. If I really thought about it then it made sense even if I didn’t understand exactly why. When I first came to the store there hadn’t been many spirits lurking about, if any, and the one that did was attached to a human.

Then there was the time I walked with Levi to the restaurant. I had noticed that they stayed away from us for some reason completely unexplained but I left it alone. I mean, if you looked at them separately they could be two unrelated events yet they both involved Levi. In both cases he had been present when the spirits left me alone. I always had some sort of inkling he was somehow involved but those were just passing thoughts, ones I never took seriously. And now, right here was my proof in the form of a ghost child with a magenta swirling soul in the middle of her chest.

Everything came back into regular speed and I noticed how she was backing up, veering off to the side. I stood up and looked over my shoulder to see Levi coming up behind me.

“You know their name?” He inquired. Hazel was pressing herself into the glass and I could tell anymore and she’d wind up going right through it. I turned to face Levi and I grabbed his shoulders and started pushing him backward.

“You’re scaring her. Back up a little.” I lied, moving him a safe distance away. He stared me down, not liking being manhandled but just leaving it for now. I turned back to Hazel, who stayed right where she was by the window. The poor thing. I went to her and tried to put on my kid-friendly smile. She was still pretty much plastered to the glass, glass that was actually shaking now that I got a closer look at it. She could very well break it if her emotions were high enough and I could tell she was a little more than scared at the moment.

“I don’t like him very much. He… he pushed me away.” Her bottom lip quivered and she brought her hands to hold close to her chest. I could see she was trying not to cry. The glass began vibrating now, her energy pushing on it, making it move more.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He doesn’t know that he can do that to cute little girls.” I didn’t say ghosts because that might freak her out even more. I looked behind me for a quick second to see Levi with a questioning look in his eyes, his eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

Hazel swallowed and looked at Levi, shrinking back. He wasn’t helping anything. I sighed. “Levi, can you handle the desk for a little bit? So we can go.” I said that with a little more power behind my voice so he would get what I was saying. At first he didn’t look like he was going to budge. Then he turned and started walking away just like that, not even questioning it for now. I looked back at Hazel. “There, feel a little better?” I looked again at the window and could tell there was a thin layer of frost ebbing around her and raying out with her being the center. The glass wouldn’t hold up much longer if she didn’t control her feelings. I had to think on my toes. I pulled out my cell phone and showed it to her. I typed my password and pulled up an easy game, one that I knew would draw her attention.

“Hey, do you think you can help me solve this level? You have to swipe your finger across this screen,” I tapped on the screen to show her what to do, “and try to cut as many fruits as you can in a certain amount of time.” I told her, holding the phone out to her. She wouldn’t be able to grab it, not with her corporeal body, but she would be able to move it if I gave her my phone pen, something light enough that she could hold. I handed the pen to her, instructing her on how to use it.

Her eyes brightened as soon as she saw the screen and she stepped forward a little more. The glass stopped vibrating and it shook slowly before completely stopping. I sighed. Yes, crisis averted. She began playing the round, giggling again, still unsure at first but getting more comfortable as time went on. I waited for her to complete it and when she was done she was almost back to her cute little cheerful self.

“That was so much fun!” She laughed and started prancing around.

“I’m glad. See, it’s not so bad here.” I told her. I had been collecting my stuff and putting my phone in my pocket when I looked over to her. She stopped all of a sudden and was looking at something behind her, her eyes shocked. It was different from before though. She was almost entranced by whatever it is that was there, something I couldn’t see. And then I felt that very familiar warmth radiating and I knew exactly what it was. It was time for her to go. She looked at me, a little afraid but curious this time.

“What is that?” She asked me, not moving a single step from where she was. She was probably debating whether to run away or go to it. I tipped my head to the side, clasping my hands together.

“You don’t have to be afraid of that Hazel. It’s there to guide you. You can move on now, you can finally go on and find your family, find your mom, your brother.” I told her. Again, I wasn’t quite sure but I liked to believe her family was waiting for her. Her eyes widened but her facial features became softer, more vulnerable.

“My… My mommy?” She seemed so small, so desperate for that one shred of hope now lying right in front of her. In reality I really had no clue where I was leading her too. All I could do was go off of the feelings I had and my heart told me that whatever was producing such pure warmth and energy was good. So I nodded to her and went towards her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze, getting flickers of her last feelings. She was ready.

“Yup. You will be happy there.” I told her. She looked at me and squeezed my hand back. Then she was stepping forwards towards the light. I watched her take slow steps at first which gradually became normal until I knew she had stepped in the light I myself couldn’t see. She disappeared in seconds and the warmth went with her. Then it was just me standing there by myself letting my body settle to the saddening yet heartwarming feelings she had shared with me.

She was happy, actually happy. She had been stuck in that elevator for so long crying yet I was a beacon of hope, someone who showed her kindness and let her have fun. And for that she was grateful. I really had helped her.

“So what happened?” Levi said from behind me. His voice didn’t startle me. I opened my eyes, forcing myself not to tear up and turned to him.

“I just helped a little girl move on is all.” I downplayed it. Now there was the little case of Levi repelling spirits. I walked past him, thinking for a few moments to myself. “The only thing is she couldn’t get close to me because of you.” I told him, pressing a finger to my lips. “Apparently you have some natural barrier or something.” I said matter of fact about it. I was walking to the break room to collect my things.

“Wait, what? What do I have to do with any of this?” Levi asked following me. I shrugged.

“Honestly, I don’t really know. All I know is that even when I first met you I was kind of curious as to why there were no ghosts hanging around here in the store. Or when we went out to that dinner a week ago the ghosts didn’t attack me or anything. They just kind of stayed away.” I told him. I reached the break room and opened the door so the two of us could enter it. “When I thought about it the only difference was that you were always around when spirits stayed away. But I never really considered it a possibility that you were seriously the cause of it.” I stopped myself from grabbing my coat and turned to Levi, arms crossed. “Yet it makes perfect sense. And Hazel just kind of confirmed it.” I realized a lot of this was probably crazy to Levi yet here I was making light of it. But how else could I say it?

Levi was staring off at some point past me, more than likely thinking about all the information I had just told him. Then he picked his head up and looked right at me as if a lightbulb had gone off. He smirked. “Then that means I should be more involved with the stuff you’re doing. Because I actually can protect you, seeing as how you’re not doing a very good job of it yourself.” He looked at me as if chastising me. My mouth opened up in something like shock at how he could be like this.

“Seriously? Is that all you care about here?” It was mind blowing how Levi could still be worried about something like this. Why is it that he cared so much about just… just protecting me? Me, someone he didn’t know for even two weeks? My earlier thoughts from today came back, on how we had gotten together really fast. I couldn’t deny that there had been a connection between us. I could tell that from the moment I saw him, the second I looked into those pained eyes he had. We were very similar and I had been drawn to that. Yet I didn’t know why _he_ was with _me_.

“If it means I can stop them from attacking you then yes, I want to protect you.” He grabbed his coat and threw it on, not bothering with the buttons right now. He was being completely serious. “I’m not saying you aren’t strong. Because hell, you are and someone would be stupid not to see that. But you need to watch yourself more. You need to realize that you can’t take on all of this by yourself all the time.” He looked right into my eyes and kept me locked on his. “If what you’re saying is true and I act as some kind of ward or barrier to them then that has to mean something Mikasa.” He finished, looking at me as if expecting me to get what he was talking about.

I didn’t say anything after that. This was all a little too much for me to handle in one go. I just didn’t think I’d ever have someone say those things to me, ever. I never once thought I would tell someone about my ability to see spirits and even then I never thought someone would believe me enough to offer help. It was so surreal to me. I pushed back some of my hair and honestly thought of some of the things Levi was saying.

I couldn’t stand his look so I had to break our eye contact and grabbed my coat instead, the silence between us thick. It’s not like I didn’t like what he said. I was completely and utterly floored by it. It made me feel loved, it made me feel like I mattered. And I knew all of these things before but you know those moments when I just kind of smacks you in the face that people truly care about you? Yeah, I was having one of those moments.

I got my coat on and grabbed for my purse, swinging it over my shoulders. Levi had gone over to the fridge and produced a single brown paper bag with the name of a bakery on it. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to read the name but I wasn’t at all familiar with it and I was more than a little curious as to why Levi would be carrying something around like that.

“What’s that about? I didn’t really peg you for the sweets-loving type.” I said as I opened the door to exit the room. Levi followed me out as I went to the front desk and made sure everything was in order there, picking up a manila folder I had laid out with bills and numbers. I would have to do a bunch of shop-keeping stuff when I got home. Sigh…

“It’s not for me.” He said as he went to the door and waited there for me. I frowned. That wasn’t exactly an answer but from the sound of it Levi wanted to be all mysterious about it so I didn’t press it.

“Sure, sure.” I said, a ghost of a smile gracing my lips as I went to the front door. He opened it for me and I stepped out. He followed soon after and closed it behind himself, locking up. “If you don’t want to admit you had a craving I’m cool with it.” I said with a joking smile. Levi and sweets cravings probably never happened. He seemed to strike me as a guy who just doesn’t like sweet anything let alone something from a bakery but for all I knew there was bread in there. He turned around to look and rolled his eyes.

Levi didn’t say anything so I guess that was it. I let out a breath into the chilly night air, my breath a thick white cloud that vanished into the air. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I told him with a straight face, holding my purse tighter, the manila folder in my hands.

“You don’t have to do that yet. I’m walking you home.” He decided on his own sounding all valiant and cool. I narrowed my eyes at him though.

“Oh, are you now?” I challenged. So he was really serious about this. Even more so then before now that he got the new information, information that proved he was helpful in all this spirit stuff. He pursed his lips.

“Yes, Ackerman. So start walking.” He said in finality, again not budging on this. I didn’t even have the energy to argue. If he wanted to walk me home then where was the harm in that? It didn’t matter either way because as much as he liked he would never truly stop the spirits from coming to me all the time. Well, unless we were joined at the hip. Wait, not in that way! A blush came over my cheeks as my mind accidently pictured us having sex and I shrunk down into my jacket, tightening my hold on the folder this time. Levi saw that I was tensed up and raised an eyebrow. I swallowed and immediately turned around before he noticed my expression.

“Fine, you can walk me home then.” I said, heading in the direction of my apartment. He caught up to me easily and walked close by my side, his steps sure along the slushy sidewalk. I put my other hand in my pocket to protect it from the cold and looked up to watch where I was going.

“See, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Levi said after we got a few feet away from the store. I looked at him sideways and shot him a few daggers with my look.

“Don’t patronize me.” I warned him. “I could have stopped you though.” I said under my breath, low enough that he couldn’t hear me. I flicked my eyes to him and saw that he was most definitely trying to catch what I was saying but it was clear he didn’t from the frustrated look in his own steel eyes. Too bad so sad, I thought, smiling to myself.

“You always tend to mumble when you don’t want to be heard.” He said, appearing to give up. Good. I shrugged and didn’t reply to that. We got a little ways before I decided to talk again, making a turn that wasn’t leading me to the way home, much to a confused Levi’s dismay.

“Where are you going? Your apartment is the other way. Or did you forget?” He had that irksome smirk as if laughing at me, his tone condescending but not mean.

“Shut up. You decided to come with me so now you have to follow me wherever.” I rolled my eyes. He still kept up with me so it wasn’t really an issue. “I depleted my protective… charms,” I didn’t exactly want to say stuff, but potions wasn’t a good word for the ghost stuff I used to banish them or protect myself. “So I mapped out a store that pretty much sells all the stuff I need.” I explained to him. I raised my arm so that it was mere inches from my face to read the scribbled directions I had written on the back of my hand in the dark lighting. Squinting, I tried to get my bearings of the area. “Only thing is I kinda don’t know where I’m going.” I confessed indignantly.

Levi came close to my shoulder and peered over to look at what I was looking at. Then he turned to me, giving me a disapproving look. “That’s because you scribbled the damn thing on the back of your hand. Gimme that.” He took my hand even before I had a chance to hand it over and stopped me long enough to read it himself. His thumb moved across my hand as if trying to be soothing and I looked from our clasped hands to his face as he read the directions. He had no idea his fingers were even moving across my skin but I was so acutely aware in that moment that all I could do was stare. It was only a few seconds and then he let my hand go and looked at me.

“S-so, what’s the verdict?” I asked, taking a mini step back to give us some space. Well, it was more like to catch a breather because I was sure my face was turning a little red from his unknowing tenderness. Levi turned to look at what street we were on and then looked down the other one as if mapping everything out in his head.

“It’s actually not far from here.” He told me, turning to look at me once again. He gave me another one of those snarky half smiles. “But of course you wouldn’t know that. You aren’t native to the city.” I put my hand up in a fist and went to punch him on the shoulder which he dodged. Instead I glared at him. “Come on, just follow me.” He turned on the wet sidewalk and started walking, this time faster. I sighed and decided it was better just to follow along.

“Fine. But only this one time.” I made sure to make that one clear to him. I wasn’t used to accepting help from people because I could usually do everything on my own. Relinquishing control was hard for me but I trusted Levi. “I would have found it eventually though.” I said to my defense. Levi didn’t say anything but I caught his eyes for a split second. He was again looking at me as if I was naïve or something. That guy… Sometimes he knew exactly how to get under my skin.

We pretty much walked in silence for the rest of it. The thing was, with us, we didn’t really need to talk all that much. I had a feeling Levi wasn’t much of a talker himself unless it was to tell people what to do or make some crass joke- or irritate the hell out of someone by telling them the hard truth. I myself preferred silence over chastising so I kept to myself, instead watching where I was going so I could get a better feel for the city. All these streets and turns were still foreign for me but if I could learn them it would make my life a lot easier.

Eventually we reached the store and Levi stopped before I reached where he was, having fallen behind him after looking at some weird store that sold knitted clothing and accessories. They had a red scarf that interested me but I knew I had to catch up with Levi so I didn’t go in. Levi pointed at the sign. “Looks like we finally made it.” He announced. He went up to the door and opened it so I could walk in first. I swallowed and took a step forward into the store.

The sign itself wasn’t very interesting, nor did it leave the impression that the store was spiritual in nature but just from the smells I knew I would find what I was looking for. My eyes fell on the older brown shelves, on daggers and different blades in glass cases. I walked slowly, hearing Levi step in as well and close the door behind himself. My attention was on the store though.

My eyes scanned the place, going from gems to amulets to goblets. A whole section was dedicated to sage and different rituals for it. Another one to incense and other scents. But what I was looking for was a little different. I needed salt. And not that cheap, regular table salt. I also needed dried flowers, like rosemary. And maybe some others that could keep things away and be useful. Hmm….

“Why, you two must be new here.” Came a voice up ahead an isle away. I peeled my eyes away from an expensive vial to look at who was speaking. It was a woman, her hair tied into a ponytail that spiked down and her bangs frilled on her forehead. She wore a yellow button down shirt and dark jeans. Her eyes were big and brown and she wore glasses. “It’s nice to see new blood in the store. Keeps things lively.” She smiled as she stepped a little closer.

She looked passed me for a moment and her eyes changed, almost like she was laughing. She brought her hand up to her chin, biting her bottom lip to stop herself from bursting out. Wait, what? Was something funny? I turned around to maybe see what she was laughing at and I was met with a very shocked, wide eyed Levi frozen holding one of the daggers I had passed a minute ago. I looked back at the woman right when she keeled over and burst out laughing.

“Ahahaaa! I can’t! I can’t keep this up when you’re looking at me like that! Ahaaa!” She belted out, wiping at her eyes and she caught herself on her knees, still laughing like a mad scientist or something. I looked back at Levi, so confused. He had went from shocked to cool faced and hard to read in a matter of seconds. I noticed he was holding the dagger like he was about to throw it at her.

“Hanji, what the hell are you doing in this store?” He said calmly, the words like ice shards. Wait, so he knew her? Were they friends or something? I opened my mouth to say something but the woman, Hanji, beat me to it.

“I- I own, haha, I own this place.” She laughed in between her words, trying to catch her breath. Levi only blinked at her and we watched as she stood up straight again and licked her lips. “But I never, EVER expected you to enter my store. Ever.” She said, emphasizing her words. “You were the last person I ever thought would believe in spiritual things. So I take it she,” she finally realized I was standing there, pointing at me, “must have convinced you somehow. Great job!” She came up to me and gave my back a few hard pats. I tried not to fall over at first but got used to the weight faced and just took it.

“Aaaa-“ My voice was cracking. I honestly had no clue what to even say to that. I looked at Levi again.

“My name is Hanji.” She said to me, a crazed but friendly smile on her lips now. “And you must be pretty good to convince Levi to come into here so I already like you.” She stepped away from me and gave me some room to collect myself. I tried to fix myself from horribly confused to polite, although it was hard. Her eyes were fixed on me then, probing me and looking at me all over. I felt almost as if she was looking at me like a new toy or specimen. “Now, let’s see… You look to be in search of something. Come here.” She took my hand and was turning me.

“Wait, what are you-!” I didn’t have a single idea why she was touching me let alone why she needed to see my back. She let me go just as soon as she had grabbed me though and went to grab my face.

“Hanji, really, is that necessary?” Levi asked but his tone sounded like not even he could stop her. She stopped right before her hands were on my face anyway, her eyes shining with a new light, and she turned to Levi, pouting.

“You never let me have any fun, Levi. Yeesh, fine.” She backed up and I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. She was terrifying but not in an awful way, more in a scary, mad way. Yet even then I didn’t find her to be too bad.

“Can someone explain what is going on here because I am horribly confused.” I didn’t exactly yell it but I was most definitely frustrated. Hanji was moving by then, looking through the store. Levi walked so that he was next to me now, staring after Hanji, his arms crossed in front of him.

“Hanji is someone the FBI consults with.” He began. He looked at me, his grey eyes a little impatient looking. His demeanor told me he didn’t exactly want to tell this story. “Only we all pretty much think she’s some kind of mad woman of the occult.” He said, not batting a single eyelash. That explained how they knew each other but not why Levi had such a negative opinion about the stuff she does. This just showed me even more that there was a lot I still didn’t know about Levi. And yet I had sex with him.

Nope, stop right there. I closed my eyes and erased those thoughts right out of my head. I did not need that on top of everything else right now.

“I mean, well, if she can help then I don’t mind.” I sort of whispered it. Again I personally didn’t know her nor did I expect her to go through such lengths for me but I wasn’t about to turn her down. I honestly could use all the help I needed in this. Hanji had disappeared for a while, although I could hear clanking. She was gathering stuff or moving something around throughout the store. What, I had no clue.

“Oh, I can do more than help!” She called out. Something crashed and I was startled by the sharp noise against the hardwood of the floors. Hanji swore. “Ah, come on! I only just put that thing…” Her voice started lowering until she was angrily mumbling, not audible for us to hear her. Levi started moving forward to the ruckus.

“Hanji, what the hell are you even doing?” He must have spotted her because he turned his disapproving look to her now, his eyes on the floor. He scowled, then moved out of sight too. “Move, you made a mess.” He said. I could hear heavy foot movements and something scraping, shattering even more. “Don’t step in it you imbecile!” Levi yelled.

“I didn’t mean to!” Hanji said in return. I listened to the two scuffle around, choosing not to go over there and join the fray. They sounded like fighting siblings or something. I was not about to get into the middle of that. A few moments more and the footsteps increased in pace, coming right for me. Hanji popped out of the corner, hands full with different thing.

“Ahh…” I started.

“Here! I got all the things you might be looking for.” She dumped them on the glass next to me. I turned to look at some of the stuff. Gems? Dried flowers? She had pulled all of this for me. My eyes flicked to her smiling, triumphant face. She moved her glasses up on her face. In the background I hear what sounded like a broom or something sweeping across the floor, glass tinkling as they were moved together. Levi must have been sweeping the mess Hanji had made.

“See, I can just tell what you are as soon as you walked in. You can see things. Things normal people can’t see.” Her smile became wider on her face, more prodding and knowing. I stopped myself from shrinking back under her gaze but her words caught me by surprise. I opened my mouth in shock.

“What do you mean, you know who I am? I have no clue what you are talking about.” I tried to deny it but by the looks of it that was futile. She knew as much and just moved her glasses up on her nose. Levi began moving around again, further away so that he wasn’t in earshot anymore. That didn’t make me feel very safe. Hanji looked back to see where he was and then turned to me, bending forward so that she was closer.

“You can see spirits. I can see it in your eyes, in just the way that you walk. You have seen things that you probably want to unsee.” She whispered, her brown eyes serious. That seriousness in her eyes startled me probably more than it should have and for reasons I didn’t even know. There was no smile on her face this time. No, she was telling me something I myself didn’t want to hear aloud from a stranger and she knew it would make me uncomfortable. I swallowed, eyes wider than before. I felt fragile in front of her, like she could tell exactly who I was and what I’ve been through in that moment.

“I cleaned it up, stupid glasses.” Levi came up to us again, clasping his hands together at having finished his work. “Next time be more careful.” He reprimanded Hanji. Hanji moved quickly back into her normal standing position. Her eyes snapped back to her regular slightly crazed ones and her lips pulled back into a smile. I myself couldn’t find it in me to do the same. I was kind of stunned by the turn of events. I knew Levi would notice but I just kept my look anywhere but on him. He would only make me feel more vulnerable.

“Ok, so let’s start with the stones. Or gems, whatever you want to call them.” She began, grabbing for one of them. It was rounded and a deep purple in color. “This is amethyst and it protects against dark spirits or energy. I picked it out because I can feel something nasty radiating off of you.” I looked up at her face and saw that she was just stating it as a fact. She picked up the next one while I still stood there, stuck in my own thoughts. “Garnet is good for general protection type stuff so it’s nice to just have around. And rhodonite is good. I like rhodonite.” She let go of the red garnet and held the next one, black and pink this time, close to her chest swooning over the thing. If I didn’t know any better I would swear she was drooling. “This is good to stop from physical attacks. Well, that is, from the normal stuff. It can’t really do much good against the real bad stuff. And it can also stop negativity from reaching you because that can be a real killer.” She finished, setting all the stones aside next to a soft brown pouch.

I tried to find my own words again and succeeded. I could tell Levi was starting to get that something was wrong because I could feel his eyes on me, reading me. I really needed to shake off my earlier befuddlement at this whole situation and I knew just the way to do it- by asking questions.

“Hold on just a second.” I put my hands up to show her that I was 1, horribly confused still and 2, yeah, horribly confused. “Can you just maybe explain how you know all of this? Like, how you can tell I need,” I looked at the stones, “garnet or rhodonite. How do you even know me?” I turned my eyes to her, looking into both her eyes, searching for some possibly way of fishing out those answers myself. I mean, I know she didn’t know me specifically on a personal level but she knew what I was here for just by looking at me and that made me nervous. It was scary to think about what else people could see from just looking at me although I was pretty sure she  She blinked at me like I had asked a weird question.

“Um, do you not know who _I_ am?” She asked right back to me. I cocked my head back at the question. That smile came right back to her lips and her hands shot out to grab mine, clutching them and practically hopping up and down. “You don’t do you? Oh, this is so exciting! Ok, we will save that for another time though.” She moved on from the subject just like that. That. Was. Not. An. Explanation. This time my mouth did drop open. I was suffering from emotional whiplash by this point. I should have just kept my mouth shut. This woman wasn’t going to answer me for anything.

“Hanji,” Now Levi was trying to step in but she would have none of that. She grabbed two bags of salt.

“Now this one is sea salt and the other is rock salt. Both are really good for the type of stuff you are doing with them.” She shot me a wink and put the bags down. Again, she grabbed for the dried flowers. “We also have mullein, agrimony and cacao.” She pointed at each and explained what they all did. Mullein was good for protective stuff, agrimony was a defensive herb and cacao was good with calming spirits. I bit my bottom lip, filing all the information away in my head. When I got home I could look all this stuff up anyway but it was nice to have everything explained.

“So I’m… yeah.” I took a deep breath. Just go with it, I reminded myself. I closed my eyes and just shook my head, opening them to take everything in. “So you got all this stuff for me. So, thank you.” I nodded my head to her. This was going to cost a lot. “But do you mind if I just, I don’t know. Take a second.” I thought of another way to put it. A light went off. “I mean, this store is big so really I think looking at everything will help.” I started backing up already, eyes looking around at the rest of the store. At least the shelves didn’t talk. They were much safer right now to me. Levi had moved again so he was standing side by side with me. He didn’t say anything but he was comforting just like that.

“Sure, yeah. Have fun, check the place out. If you need me I’ll be over there polishing some of the glass.” She pointed to the left part of the store and went off on her merry way, humming some kind of song to herself. I moved automatically, getting away from the spot I was at before and trying to wake myself the hell up but my mind was swimming with different things.

I don’t know how she knew who, or what, I was but she did and that was terrifying. People didn’t just come up on the streets and _know_ like she did. They didn’t offer me advice or help. No, it was always me against the world figuring this all out on my own. And while it was great that someone knew enough about this to help me out it was scary. She knew about me as soon as she looked at me so did that mean other people knew I was a freak? That I could see spirits and talk to ghosts?

There was also that comment about whatever she had felt or seen “radiating” from me. It wasn’t like I could see it so I didn’t know what was going on there but if what she said was true that didn’t sound good. Actually, it sounded bad. Negativity getting dragged along with me wouldn’t help anything never mind all the dark ones in the city. Just thinking about it made me shiver.

“Mikasa, what are you thinking about?” Came Levi’s voice once again finding its way into my head and pulling me from the consuming thoughts I was having. I noticed I has stopped and was looking at the floor. How long had I been like that? I picked my head up and brought my hand to wipe at my eyes, suddenly feeling really tired. So much had happened today and now I had to add this to the pile of crap that was my life. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check and keep my emotions from spilling over and making me react to all of this.

“Um, I just think all of this is a little much for one day.” I said honestly. I swung my arms out to motion to the entire store. “All of this is kind of crazy. I have no clue who Hanji is and she knows what I need and who I am and what I can see and… I don’t know.” I left it off there because I didn’t want him to know that scared me as much as it did. There was so much I wanted to say too but I didn’t. For some reason I just couldn’t tell Levi what else was bothering me, that there was a tidal wave of different things all coming at me at once making me feel like I was drowning.

I mean, yesterday I got attacked by a demon and Levi was right when he said I could have died. And then there was Eren this morning, and calming down all my friends. And now I had Levi worried about me so much that he wouldn’t even leave my side, not to mention that apparently he has something to do with all this crazy ghost stuff too. Because he definitely did and that much I knew for fact, what with Hazel and Petra.

I didn’t want to tell him all this though because he was already in too deep to begin with. It was stupid of me to get more people involved than necessary and I couldn’t… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he got hurt in the crossfire. Yet I also couldn’t help the feelings I got when I was around him. He was safe and comforting. He cared about me but he was also protective and I liked that. I needed that much more than I could even admit to myself. But I needed to bury all of that. I did, whether I liked it or not. I was already way too far ahead of myself here. It was all just too much for me to handle.

I could feel myself short circuiting just standing there, everything running through my head and getting muddled by all of the events, trying to fit themselves in chronological order as if pieces to a broken puzzle. Hide it all for now. Hide it and get home. Then I could let it out however I wanted.

I bit my bottom lip and spoke again, hiding everything I felt with fake calmness. “I think I just need to get home.” I decided. I turned so I could look around and find the dried flowers. Rosemary was what I came here to grab. I always needed that on hand as an offering to the dead. I started walking away to find the section of dried flowers. I also had used up my rose, anemones, chrysanthemums, and the lily on Hitch. I frowned just thinking about it.

“You must take me for an idiot if you’re going to stand there and act like nothing is wrong.” Levi wasn’t going away anytime soon. He kept right on with me, looking at me, his eyes almost forcing me to tell him what was going on with his look. I turned away from them, feeling guilty for not completely confiding in him. But this was the tight thing to do, for his sake. I already did too much. I didn’t speak. Instead I found the dried flowers and started choosing the ones I needed, adding a few more that I thought were nice to have along with me. Levi was getting impatient beside me.

“Mikasa, come on.” He brought his hand to stop mine before I grabbed for the anemones. I still didn’t look at him, instead focusing harder on the flowers. “Mikasa, stop it and look at me.” His voice was hard now, not angry but none too happy. I knew if I didn’t he would probably force me to anyway so gradually I looked up, hardening my own expression so that I wouldn’t be too involved or show too much. He still kept a hold on my hand, his eyes looking into my own finally. The way I was though I knew he wouldn’t be able to read me like this. No one could.

“I’m fine Levi. Really. I just need to grab a few things and then we can go home.” I said, letting my words come out harder than usual as well. It sounded like I was trying to believe my own lie though. I fought to have my hand back, pulling it so he would know to let me go. He wouldn’t though.

“Mikasa-” His voice changed, becoming softer and worried for me but I couldn’t let him continue. That would break my resolve. He let go of my hand to reach for me instead and I grabbed the flowers and turned from him just in time, wincing at my own move.

“I’m going to pay for this.” I said and began walking to where Hanji had dumped all the stuff she wanted to give to me. I collected it all clumsily, feeling myself get colder, harsher. This fake iciness was so easy when it saved me from feeling but it also killed something inside me each and every time I used it. It was a double edged sword. It wouldn’t prevent me from hurting those around me but it would prevent me from reacting in a way that would potentially drag people down with me and that was what mattered most.

I paid for the stuff while Levi just stood in the background by the door this time, not saying a single word. That scared me even more than him saying something. Hanji gave me her card and scribbled her personal cellphone number into it, telling me to reach her any time I wanted. I thanked her for giving me it and a discount on all the stuff she threw onto me, then I turned and left. My eyes met Levi’s for a split second and I could see he was contemplating something in that head of his. I just swallowed and exited the store, walking in silence onto the cold city streets.

Levi still followed me all the way home, still toting around that paper bag. We go to the front of my apartment before he finally decided he was going to speak to me.

“Listen, I don’t know exactly what is going on and I don’t think you are going to tell me tonight so I will leave it alone.” He said, making me pause in front of my door as if he had gripped me. I heard him take a few breaths before speaking again. “Here.” I heard ruffling and turned around to see what he was doing behind me. He was holding out the bag he had been carrying this entire time. I raised an eyebrow but grabbed it anyway.

“I didn’t ask for anything though.” I said confused. He looked like he hadn’t even heard me.

“Mikasa.” He said my name, almost in a whisper, the words careful, soft and soothing. It was almost like he was trying to caress me with just the sound of my name. I finally looked at him. I mean, really looked at him. He was trying so hard to not be protective right now and demand answers. I could see the battle in his eyes but I could also see that he cared enough for me to not do that right now. “I’m here for you, whether you like it or not. You can trust me.” He looked right into my eyes. In that moment I just wanted to throw myself at him, to hug him and let him hold me and comfort me. But I didn’t move a single step. Instead I looked down at the bags I was holding.

“Goodnight, Mikasa.” He said to me. Then he turned and he walked away. He didn’t need to say anything more. He showed in his eyes and in the way that he spoke clearly enough that he didn’t need to say it. He wanted to be here for me and support me for whatever reason. He wasn’t going anywhere and I needed to learn to let people in and trust them enough to stand next to me. He made that as clear as day for me to see.

I watched his fleeting figure until he turned a corner and completely disappeared from sight, my breaths coming in white puffs in the cold air. Then I turned and went into my apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, another chapter! And looks like Hanji has made a surprise addition to the story as her crazy self! She will come in handy in the future so stick around to see what will unfold next! As always, I love comments guys so please feel free to leave a message. You liked this chapter? Didn't like it? Let me know! And thanks for sticking with me for so long!!!


	17. Flickering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahahaaa!! Another chapter has been rolled out for you guys! Sorry for the long wait but as always, thank you for keeping up with me!!

The bag Levi had handed me felt like it weighed heavier than the gems and flowers I grabbed from the store as I stood there in the elevator waiting to get to my floor. I was sure it wasn’t because it actually weighed more too because it didn’t. In fact, the bag was pretty light and compact. I was a little miffed to why exactly Levi had given it to me in the first place but also very curious as to what was inside.

The elevator arrived at my floor and before I knew it I was kicking my shoes off in the hallway and putting my keys on the little hook by the door. I hung my coat up on the hook too and went to my kitchen where I dropped the bags onto the table. My eyes couldn’t help but look at Levi’s bag again. Well, it wasn’t going to open itself.

I reached for it and finally opened the rough, brown paper bag, dipping my hands into it. Something cold and plastic touched my fingers. I grasped for it and started pulling it out, feeling something thin graze the back of my hand as I pulled out the little box, like an envelope was in there too. When I got it out my heart dropped and I just stared at it.

Inside a clear plastic box was a single cupcake in red and white cupcake paper. Resting on top of the white, creamy frosting were silver and white circular sprinkles. The vanilla cake popped out of small openings where the frosting didn’t touch it. In the middle of the frosting rested a single candle. I put my hand to my mouth and felt that familiar heat behind my eyes.

I couldn’t believe it. Of all the people to remember my birthday I didn’t really expect it to be Levi. He was just so new, not to mention the fact that I couldn’t even remember telling him my birthday. So how did he even know?

I wiped at the corners of my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt to get the sleeves before they could roll down my face and blinked the rest of them back. I tipped the paper bag to pull out whatever my hand had brushed against earlier and produced a crisp envelope. Scrawled on the front in orderly cursive letters was my name. I bit my bottom lip and went over to my drawer to find my envelope opener. No way was I about to kill this thing ripping it open.

I found the opener and got the letter open, pulling out the card. It was a birthday card, a simple one that just said Happy Birthday on the front, again keeping with the theme of white, silver and red. I opened it up to a written message in the same penmanship that was on the front of the letter and couldn’t help but put my hand to my mouth again.

            _Happy Birthday Mikasa. You might be stuck in the dark now but you are strong. Trust in yourself, but also trust in those around you. ~Levi_

I read it again after the first time just to make sure I got it right. I let my hand fall away from my mouth after I read it a third time, my arm dangling at my side almost lifeless. It was just, it was too much. How could one person care so much when they barely even knew me myself? How was it that Levi, even when he wasn’t here, knew exactly what to say to shake the very foundation I tried so desperately to keep steady, to keep there?

My bottom lip quivered as I put the card down next to the cupcake, standing it up so I could see the inside and the outside. I didn’t cry anymore, no. I had a job to do. I went into another of my drawers and fished for the dollar store lighter I kept in there for emergencies. When I got it I went back to the cupcake and opened the container. The sweet smell of frosting wafted up into my noise and I lit the candle, watching the little flame start out small and unsure. It grew into a good flame, reaching its full potential in due time, flickering and casting a small bead of light on the countertop even when I had the lights in the kitchen on.

I watched the flame for a little bit before bending down and thinking of a good wish. Then I blew the candle out, an overwhelmingly sweet yet sad feeling in my chest.

_Levi…_

*****

 

Reowwwww….

I turned over in my bed, my hair prickling the sides of my face when I rolled over. My eyes were still closed and I was absolutely not ready to wake up yet. But alas apparently my little ghost friend didn’t care.

This time I opened one of my eyes to the sight of a black ghost cat perched right in front of me resting his cute little cat booty on my pillow. Jasper just looked at me with his translucent green eyes not even moving an inch. I blew air up my face blowing my bangs upward and turned to my clock. It was seven in the morning, time to get up. Well, not exactly because I set my alarm clock last night to wake me up at seven thirty but apparently Jasper wanted me to get up now and he most certainly didn’t look like he was leaving anytime soon. Which meant I was going to have to get up.

I pulled my arms out from my sides to lift me up off the bed, bringing my legs to hold my eight on the bed as I went into a sitting position, my blanket falling down me and onto the bed. My room was cold but I didn’t mind it too much. What piqued my interest was the fact that Jasper was in my room, his bright orange soul floating at the center of his lithe body. It was almost too bright for me to look at right now and I squinted my eyes a little at it. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and looked at the little kitty that still hadn’t really moved, except for his eyes of course which were still looking at me as I moved. I puckered my lips out, not really understanding why he was bothering me in my bed.

“Hey,” and now I was speaking to something that couldn’t talk back to me. “You don’t normally come into my room and I haven’t seen you around for a while little guy.” I brought my hand up towards him so I could pet him. My hand went down his fur- yes, I could still feel how soft he was even when he was dead- and I pet him behind his ears. He finally moved off my pillow and sauntered over to me lazily, his red bell jingling. He rubbed his head on my thigh and laid down on the bed purring. I tipped my head to the side, still a little lost. Maybe he was ready to move on?

“Are you ready to move on little guy?” I asked as I pet him a few more times. His ears flicked to me and he looked at me like I had said something really stupid, like that was the last thing he wanted. I put my hands up. “Ok, ok. Got it. No moving on for you. Yet.” I added. He turned his eyes to look away and that was it for that. He didn’t make any movements but to shift his tail close to his body. So he basically woke me up for nothing. Cool.

I yawned and began crawling out of my bed to do my routine morning stuff. Bathroom, brush teeth, fix hair, get dressed, breakfast, the whole works. I was done with everything in almost forty minutes, dressed in black legging, a black skirt and red top. I threw on a cream cashmere sweater and some nice black boots to keep myself nice and toasty warm. Today was going to be a cold one. I was sitting at my kitchen table finishing up the little omelet I made myself when my eyes fell on the little card Levi had given me yesterday. My appetite started dwindling, a bunch of thoughts flooding my head.

I accepted the fact that yes, he cared for me in a way I have never really been cared for before. After receiving the cupcake and the card I would be really stupid not to see that. But it was hard for me to listen to the words he had written on the inside of the card. I trusted few people with my real thoughts and feelings, even people I knew for years. Trusting someone with all this supernatural business was going to take some time for me, especially when it could wind up killing someone.

I worriedly gnawed at my bottom lip and finished my breakfast, putting the dish in the sink to clean later. Then I went to the other bag I hadn’t really touched since yesterday from Hanji’s store. I dumped the contents of the bag out carefully so that the dried flowers wouldn’t get smashed. Then I went to work putting everything away where it needed to be, adding the new things to my purse and keeping things in the apartment for safe keeping.

Restocking my supplies carefully wasn’t too bad but I had to make sure to put things away out of the sight of my friends so they wouldn’t ask questions. The one time Sasha had seen my notebook scrawled with little notes of what flowers worked for what and what holy water did she freaked out. I had to explain to her that it was research for my store to stock up on spiritual books for the customers. She believed me easily and never really brought it up again but it certainly made me careful about my stuff. That day was a little too close for comfort.

After making sure everything was all good in my bag my eyes fell on the compass tucked next to all my paperwork. It was just sitting there not making a single sound, no ticking or anything. I picked it up and clicked the button on the top to open it up and look at the compass’s face. The cursive letters were still there and the little pointer wasn’t moving at all. I turned to see if that would make it move but nope. If anyone got their hands on it they would probably assume the thing was broken. I put it back in my bag, grabbed my keys, and left.

The walk to the store was a cold one, that was for sure. Even with my black jacket I was cold. My red scarf helped keep my neck warm but even with my black gloves I could feel the cold. I reached the store as easily as I had done other days and saw that it wasn’t open. I slowed down upon arrival to the front door. I was so used to Levi being the first one in the store that I didn’t really know what to do. I stood there for a moment just looking at it before realizing that I really needed to get my act together. This was my store after all.

I grabbed my keys to open it, feeling lonely as I swung open the door to the dark store. I stepped in and flicked on the lights, the door swinging shit behind me with a tinkle of the bells at the top signaling someone had entered. Then I went through checking the alarm, the heating system and finally I walked to the back room to put everything down.

I was just coming out of the break room when I heard a noise coming from my purse, a small but angelic ringing. It was so soft I almost didn’t hear it but I knew instantly what that sound meant. My heart dropped in my chest and my body spiked with adrenaline. No, this was not happening right now.

Another one, another demon, probably found me and they were close, too close for comfort. I looked around the store waiting for something to pop out of the shadows, standing my ground at the same time my hand gripped the handle of the door so tight my knuckles were white. My eyes fell on every corner, on every shelf. But just as I was about to run to my purse the sound stopped and someone entered the store causing me to practically jump out of my skin.

Bertholdt had entered smiling shyly. He raised a hand to me. “Hey Mikasa. Are you the only one in the store?” He asked as he made his way to me. I blinked a few times and tried to calm my rapid beating heart while he looked around trying to see if someone else was here right now. I nodded my head.

“Yeah. Actually, Levi hasn’t shown up yet.” I told him, getting out of the way so he could get to the break room. I stayed by the door though, still fearful. That compass was my warning and if anything popped out at Bertholdt because I wasn’t around I would be devastated. “And I don’t really know if he is going to show up today either. I didn’t exactly get a call from him…” I put my hand up to my lips. I didn’t get a text from him either, which also wasn’t expected. If Levi wasn’t coming in I would think, he being the way he is, that he would at least shoot me a text or something.

“Oh, ok.” Bertholdt didn’t sound like he thought anything was weird with this. I mean, again, I am the owner of the store. Levi not being here isn’t detrimental to business but it was just a little too strange for me. He finished settling all his things and turned to exit, meanwhile I had been looking all around the break room to see if I could find anything ominous in there. “Ahhh…” I looked back at Bertholdt, who was standing there awkwardly waiting for me to move. I immediately got out of the way.

“Sorry, sorry.” I said, moving so that I could go to the front desk of the store and get to work there. I didn’t want to seem like some creepy stalker or something watching him. I booted the computer as soon as I got to the desk and leaned on the countertop.

“N-no, it’s fine.” Bertholdt waved his hands to show me that it was ok. He went on his way though and walked behind the counter to grab one of the catalogs. “Um… I think we are expecting a new shipment of books today.” He started on his way through the store, checking and fixing the shelves to make sure everything was in the right place. I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking back to all the papers I had brought home to read through yesterday. Yup, that was actually one of the things I was going to remind myself of that I didn’t.

“Crap, I completely forgot about that.” I said as I typed in the password to the computer. I went and grabbed the folder I had put on the counter earlier with all the bills and such. I have to mail all these too and make sure I have enough money in the accounts and pay the employees. Owning your own store was a lot of work.

Bertholdt turned to look at me. “It’s ok. As long as the store is open and you’re here everything should go fine.” He tried to assure me. He smiled softly. “And I can do a lot of the heavy lifting too.” He brought his hand up and itched the top of his head, giving me a shy but kind smile. I couldn’t help but smile back. His kindness was refreshing and I really needed that right now.

“Yeah, thanks Bertholdt.” I said in response, glad that I had someone as reliable as him with me. I pulled out my phone to see that I had no messages but that a reminder had popped up to get the bills sent and that the book company was come coming to deliver books. A little late now though, I thought. I got back to work on the computer just as a customer entered.

“Welcome,” I greeted them.

 

Eventually Bertholdt had to leave after helping me with the book company, moving boxes of books around in the store for organizing eventually. He couldn’t exactly stay here the whole day and I didn’t expect him to but running a store by myself would be a killer. But I was lucky enough that only an hour went by before Marco showed up. It was such a relief. I had been both terrified of the demon popping up- because the compass had gone off earlier and I was practically freaking out on the inside- and completely overwhelmed with customers here on my own. Without Marco I really would have just closed the store. I probably really needed more people on staff.

A few dozen customers and hours later and we were finally at closing time. I shut down the computer and filed away more papers to bring home with me meanwhile Marco was flitting about the store reorganizing things. I smiled as I watched him.

“You know, without you I would probably have died today. From all the customers and such.” I added that last part for my own sake. Knock on wood here, I did not want to die and I wasn’t about to jinx that. Marco looked at me and rolled his eyes but had a cute little smile.

“You would have been fine Mikasa. Remember, this is your baby.” He moved his arms in a swooping gesture motioning at the whole store.

“Yeah, a big baby. A baby that needs lots of work and attention and is zapping a lot of money and just, ugh.” I raised a hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. It was a lot of work on top of everything else but if I didn’t have it I don’t even know what I would be doing. I would probably go crazy. Like actual crazy.

“Hey, this place might require some good old elbow grease but I don’t think it could have a better owner.” I heard footsteps and then Marco was standing in front of me putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I peeked up to look at him, that bright smile of his able to wipe away any worries. “You’ve been doing really well so far so don’t stress out too much about it ok?” He said, giving my shoulder a light squeeze before letting me go. I smiled back at him, feeling a little better. Marco was really nice to talk to and he always had something reassuring or sweet to say to you. I kind of loved that about him. I stood up straighter and watched him go back to putting the last books from one box onto the shelves.

“I’ve certainly been trying.” I said back, getting out of behind the counter so I could do some myself. There were still two more boxes that hadn’t been opened. Marco had helped out a lot and we took turns being out on the floor and being behind the cash register ringing things up earlier. Now it was time for me to really help out. “But I’m going to need a little something stronger than words to stop myself from stressing out at this point.” I said in a melancholic voice, adding a small smile at the end of it to make it seem like I was joking. Marco got what I meant and shook his head.

I reached over to grab some books and was turning to stock them when the bells rung signaling someone had entered. My heart skipped a beat and for some reason I thought it was Levi. I turned, hoping that it was him but also scared if it really did turn out to be him. I was let down when it was not the short man I came to care deeply about but the guy with the undercut who had last threatened to beat me and Levi up if we hurt Marco.

“Hey Marco.” He said first, then looked at me. He was a little shy at first and raised his hand up to wipe down his face, his eyes looking around the bookstore then back to me. “Hey, listen. About last time. I’m… kinda sorry for that.” He finished warily, almost sounding pained. I was not expecting that at all. Jean was apologizing for what he’d done a week ago. I stared at him for a little bit to make sure he was done and based on his look, like he’d rather crawl in a hole and die, he was done. I nodded my head, books still in hand.

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” I shrugged. I didn’t hold a grudge towards him for what he’d said the other week. It was sweet of him to be so protective of Marco anyway, even if he did come off a little strong. Plus I was certain that I could take him in a fight so that wouldn’t get him anywhere.

I turned around and saw that Marco wasn’t just smiling, his shoulders were shaking and he was biting his lip to stop from bursting out in laughter. I narrowed my eyed and bent a little closer to whisper to him.

“You put your poor boyfriend up to this didn’t you?” I already knew the answer to that. Marco just looked at me all innocently, eyes bright and finding the whole situation hilarious. I gave him a disapproving look but found this kind of hilarious myself.

“Ok, good.” He said. He stayed where he was but now I could feel he was waiting for Marco to be done. It almost radiated that after giving up his pride like that he wanted to get out of my store right then. I nudged Marco’s arm and looked at what he’d done.

“You can go on ahead Marco. I can handle the rest of the books.” I told him, releasing him from overtime stacking books. That was a horrible fate for anyone and Marco had come in today right after school. He needed to leave. He opened his mouth to protest but I would have none of that. I raised my book so he’d know I would whack him with it and that made him stop even before he said a word. “Go ahead. At least one of us can be free of stocking the shelves and it minus well be you.” I insisted. He looked pensive, his eyes going to Jean behind me for a moment. Finally I could see he was giving up.

“Fine, fine.” He raised his hands up in surrender. Just as I’d suspected I won. “I’ll leave, but I’m not gonna like it.” He scowled at me as he started going to the break room to gather his stuff.

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to leave with your boyfriend.” Because if you don’t I honestly think he’ll explode staying here after apologizing to me. I kept that to myself, not wanting to make Jean feel any worse than he already probably did. I looked at the authors and read off a catalog the genre it needed to go with. This particular one needed to go upstairs. I put it to the side for a little later when I wanted to brave the stairs.

Marco popped out of the break room having put on his coat and scarf. He wore a cute beanie on his head and kept his hands in his pockets, a book bag slung over his shoulders. “I’ll see you tomorrow though Miks.” He said, giving me a cute little wave. He had shortened my name for the nickname he had deemed necessary, having told me about it earlier today. It was funny though because that’s also what Sasha called me sometimes too.

Marco took his boyfriends hand and led him outside. Just before he finally left though he looked back and stuck his tongue out at me. The little… I did the same right back and he let out a single giggle before walking out of the store. I watched the door click shut behind them. I was finally alone now.

It wasn’t like I wanted to be alone. I just knew when to let people go do their thing. I could handle organizing books in my own store. What I couldn’t handle was the fact that the compass had gone off and now I was a sitting duck. I took a deep breath and focused solely on the books. Get them done and get home. I could survive twenty more minutes of this.

I finished one box pretty fast. When I got to the second one it dawned on me that I finally had to go upstairs for this batch. I looked up the stairs and something about the room caught my eye. For some reason it was a little darker up there than down here. I weighed my options. Brave it out or leave it be… Yeah, nope. No way was I going up there tonight after what happened with my compass. I put the box on the desk and went to the break room like the good paranormal seeing woman that I was. I could be brave some other day.

I opened the door and grabbed my coat, throwing it on and buttoning it. Then I grabbed my purse and left, turning off the light. As I left I set up the security alarm and made sure all the heat setting were good to go. I grabbed the manila folder and before I left I took one last look upstairs. My eyes widened and my heart dropped. It had definitely gotten darker up there. Like, there was no doubt in my mind. And it wasn’t the lights because they were all still on. No, there was a dark shadow up there, some mass of black that invaded the space. The compass started shrilling, startling me into action. I had to leave.

I reached the door and swung the thing open. Then I closed it immediately behind me and turned around just as fast, looking back into my own store fearfully. The compass stopped its shrill noise and my eyes widened. No. Way. It was normal. There was nothing wrong with it anymore. The black shadow was gone as if it had never been there to begin with.

Something was messing with me now, I could almost feel it. I shakily brought out the keys and locked up the store. Then I turned and was met with Levi standing right there in front of me.

“Oh my god, Levi!” I half shrieked, clutching the manila folder for dear life. He hadn’t even flinched. Instead he stared at me like he had a lot to say but didn’t want to say it right now. I knew something was up immediately and took in the sight of him. He was a little more disheveled than usual, more wrinkles in his clothes showing that he hadn’t taken the time to iron everything out all nice and tidy like. His eyes were hard but showed he was determined to do something right now and under them were bags I hadn’t seen there since the first few days I’d seen him. Something was up. “Are you ok?” I asked, shifting my purse on my arms.

Levi didn’t say anything but he had moved to stand in front of me. He took my arm and turned, forcing me to move with him. His grip was hard but it didn’t hurt. The only thing it did was startle me. He was moving even before I could comment and I was meant to follow. I tried to pull back.

“W-wait, Levi!” I didn’t know what was going on and to be quite honest this was a little worrying. He was just dragging me along like this without a single explanation at all. I tried to pull back again, my eyes locked on the back of his head and not where we were going of the spirits around us.

“Levi, what’s going on? Let go.” I tried to demand answers but none of what I said was reaching him. There wasn’t anything I could do right now or I would make a scene in the streets and that’s the last thing I needed. A flashback from when I was taken came back and I winced at the memory of when the man had gripped me tightly, pulling me to his car before knocking me out. That wasn’t what was happening now, I repeated in my head, my heart thumping loudly from a wave of anxiety that sparked through me from the cruel memory.

I looked around at the crowds. Yeah, having more eyes on me was not something I wanted to do. No need to make a reputation for myself as the crazy bookstore owner who not only talked to things that weren’t there but also made scenes on the street for no reason. So I ground my teeth and instead of digging my heels into the ground I tried to keep up with his fast pace.

I didn’t like the fact that I was blindly being forced to follow him but for some reason I knew that whatever it was was important enough that he didn’t want to explain it outright to me. Whatever it was apparently I had to see in person.

I stayed silent and let him lead me around. The path we took was one I was familiar with. We were heading to his apartment. At the rate we were going it would be in no time that we reach it. And I was right. We got there in less than ten minutes. Levi let me go to pull his keys out and unlock the front door to his building, opening it for me to enter. I glared at him before obeying. At least I had the freedom to do that much. I knew if I hadn’t he would just drag me along.

“So I’m going to guess you didn’t go to the bookstore because you were casually in the neighborhood.” I said with a little attitude, going over to his elevator and clicking the button to go up before he reached me. I crossed my arms as we waited.

“You guessed right.” He stated, looking at me. My eyes fell to the right of me, a bright exit sign hanging by a back door. I contemplated actually running to it out of spite for being dragged around like a bad child. “And don’t even think about running because I can assure you I will catch you before you can even touch one of those doors.” He said with steely resolve. His eyes almost dared me to do it, to even try. I narrowed my eyes at him. I guess I really did have no choice in the matter here.

The elevator showed up and we both boarded. I stuck to the far wall as far from him as possible, finding his demeanor rather unpleasant at the moment. I couldn’t really understand why he was acting like this with me. We arrived to his floor and he waited for me to get off before he did. My shoes echoed through the hallway as I walked down to his apartment number and waited for him to unlock his apartment door.

He opened it and stepped in. I stepped in after him because, well, making a run for the stairwell wasn’t really an option. It was too far anyway and he was definitely in reach to just grab my hand and pull be back. So I indignantly followed him in, closing his door behind me. I didn’t take off my shoes.

Levi didn’t need to turn on any of his lights because his apartment was already lit up. I could only assume he left in a rush and didn’t turn anything off. He finally turned to me, giving me a quick once over.

“Ok, so you wanna explain what all of this was for? Because it’s a little irritating to be forced like that.” I told him. I didn’t make a move to make myself more comfortable in his apartment nor did he. We stood there still in our coats and shoes.

“I dragged you because if I even remotely started talking about what I’m going to tell you today you would have shut me down and ran to your apartment.” He said right back to me as if speaking to an unruly kid. I was getting the feeling that that’s how I honestly came across to him.

“Oh, so that’s how it is.” I huffed, a little shocked. I might come off stubborn but it was for good reason. “You think because I don’t want to get you killed that I just don’t listen to a word you’re saying.” I tried to make sense of this. I seemed to have caught onto something here because I saw some kind of reaction in his eyes. “I’m sorry I’d rather have you alive then dead then.” My voice rose a fraction. I could feel the emotions I tried hard to fight yesterday start to bubble up inside me. No one understood that the reason why I kept up this distance was to protect them. I couldn’t get close to anyone anymore because it was dangerous. I could kill them.

Levi’s eyes looked into mines, his mouth in a line. “Don’t act like that’s what this is about. You know you need help. You _know_ you can’t go at this alone. You know you can’t keep shouldering all of this on your own but you won’t listen to me when I tell you-” I already knew where he was going with this. I stopped him before he could even finish.

“No, _you_ don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said defensively, my voice was hard, ringing with finality. Levi stopped talking and looked at me. “You don’t have a single clue what it’s like to see the dead. You don’t know what it’s like to see their memories and feel what they feel. To feel that fear, to feel anguish, terror. You don’t know.” My voice shook and there was a tight feeling in my chest, of pain I kept locked away. I kept his eyes locked with mines though. “And you shouldn’t have to. You shouldn’t have anything to do with any of this. This is my burden to bear, not yours. If you get involved you could be hurt, you could die.” I looked at him, looked at his eyes, at the way his expression softened looking at me in this moment. He knew what I was saying was very real to me. That was so very real to me.  

Levi stepped forward slowly. “You’re right. I don’t know what any of that is like.” He admitted. I blinked at him, unsure where he was going with this. “I don’t know what it’s like to see the memories of the dead or to share their last feelings. But what I do know is someone that I hold dear to me…” he said the words gently almost as if caressing it on his tongue but I felt a slight pause, like he wanted to say something else but didn't, “is being swallowed up by all of this and there is very little that I can do.” He stopped right in front of me. Having a closer look at him like that I saw something change in his demeanor. He looked at me as if defeated, the words more true than I could have imagined. This was his truth, this was what was real for him. He reached slowly for my hands and grabbed them, holding them tightly.

“And what little I can do I’m not allowed to for fear of, what, death?” He questioned, not belittling what I felt at all but trying more to understand where I was coming from. “Mikasa, what you need to understand is that there are people here willing to help you. You don’t have to trust everyone but you have to trust someone.” He said softly. He lifted a hand to run through my hair and tuck a piece behind my ear. The motion was soothing just as his words had been, having a calming effect on me. The chaos of emotions in my chest subsided and I didn’t say anything for a little while.

I looked down, not able to fully meet his gaze. I was confused both by what he said and what my mind was telling me. It was logical to assume that getting involved with me would lead to trouble but at the same time I was reminded of another feeling that was always there influencing the way I felt.

I was afraid. I was so afraid by the things I saw every day. I was afraid of the memories I got from spirits. I was afraid by the requests, by the dark spirits, even by the bright spirits. I was afraid what people would think of me if they ever found out, if they ever really knew what I could see. All that fear kept me from speaking, kept me from telling anyone so instead I locked it all away and distanced myself from my friends and my family. But it also didn’t make sense why I had trusted Levi with everything.

When I met him I thought he was a self-serving jerk who wanted the run of my store. That’s it. I didn’t get it. I didn’t get why this whole time I had trusted him with my past, with the knowledge of what I could see and what I could do. That was something I couldn’t even tell Eren or Armin about and they were family to me. So why? Why was it that I could entrust everything to one man I didn’t even really know?

Then it hit me. A rush of different scenes played in my head. Levi in the bookstore, the ghosts not touching me when he was around, what Petra kept trying to say to me. Levi was important, he was strong. He was safety even before I realized it. He was broken maybe as much as I was from the harshness of the world around him yet he was still here, still telling me what I needed to hear, still patient with me when it counted most.

I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. I took a deep breath before speaking. “I understand.” I said first. I swallowed hard, a little reluctant to say what needed to be said. “I understand what you’re trying to tell me now. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen before.” I apologized sincerely although my voice betrayed me by still being a little grim about the whole thing. I cleared my throat and decided sharing with Levi some of what was in my head would probably help. No matter how hard it was to share he deserved to at least hear some of it.

“I’ve just, I’ve been afraid. Ever since I realized I could see things that no one else could, that I could see spirits, I thought it was best to be silent about it. I learned that I could see their memories and that I could also capture emotions from their lives and I kept silent about it. When I ran into the bad ones I knew that I could never tell anyone about it because they were too dangerous. It was way too dangerous to tell other people, to get other people involved in it.” I explained to him. I looked down at our hands and entwined our fingers together, holding on to his tightly. None of this was easy to say because all of it was stuff I was so used to keeping locked away inside me.

“But none of that explains why I trusted you from the beginning. None of it.” I looked back into his eyes, desperate to see if he knew why himself. I felt vulnerable standing there bearing all my feelings outright like this but it was necessary.

Levi seemed to not have a clue either. I thought about him now, about why he wanted to protect me so badly. That didn’t make much sense either. He loved me more than I ever thought anyone would and he was willing to do anything for me, including risking his life to join me in the fight against demons.

Levi brought both his hands up to cup my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing across my cheekbones. His eyes searched mines. He smiled, a pure smile I rarely see on his lips. “I guess that means you finally trusted someone.” He said. His words seemed to shock my entire system. A jolt ran through me, one different from dark feelings of my past or emotions I could barely contain. This was love. This was what love felt like.

My vision became blurry with hot tears of happiness. I fought desperately to keep them back but they threatened to spill out over my cheeks. I raised my hand to close around Levi’s and I stepped closer to him so that we were only inches apart.

“I guess it does.” I said back, closing my eyes and tipping my head to the side, smiling at him. It was a bittersweet feeling in that moment, one I didn’t quite understand but that I knew was good. I felt Levi’s breath on my face before his lips were on mine, soft and sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter took three months to make, of which i procrastinated because writers block. This story has been my little baby so I want to make sure I try to get everything as perfect as possible. Anyway... thank you for reading! I love to hear from you guys so feel free to leave a comment teehee.


	18. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So here goes the next chapter of this really long fic! Sorry for making you wait so long but I hope you'll enjoy it! Also I had to tweak a few things in the previous chapter for what's to come next so sorry guys! But I promise everything will all come out good.

“Ok, so what made you drag me here?” I said, going to sit at his kitchen table. It was an hour later and Levi had offered me a few drinks. They helped to calm me down some but I was nowhere near drunk. I wasn’t even tipsy so it was all good.

Levi put his own glass on the granite countertop and turned his head to look at me more fully, pieces of his hair almost falling into his eyes. “Well, for one I ‘dragged’ you here so you would listen to me.” He said giving me an indignant look. I stuck my lips out but I knew he had a point there. I wouldn’t have listened to him if he didn’t force me to. “But I also brought you here for another reason.” He got up and I raised an eyebrow as he started leaving the room.

“And that reason is…?” I asked while he left. He didn’t give me an answer but instead just kept walking out. He disappeared into his hallway. I threw my hands up. “Ok, that’s fine. Leave me in here with a bottle of,” I grabbed the bottle and scrutinized the label, “Bicardi.” I popped the cork and poured myself another glass of the bittersweet, clear liquid. I grabbed one of the strawberries Levi had cleaned and chopped up too and popped it into my mouth. Then I brought my glass to my lips to wash it down.

I trained my ears to listen for whatever Levi was doing over there. There was only a few things I could pick up on like wood slamming on wood- a drawer?- or the sounds of paper being rifled through. Then I heard the sound of him walking back and I just sat there patiently watching him when he decided to grace me with his presence.

“Nice of you to show up…” My mouth fell wide open. What the hell did he think he was doing?! Levi waltz in with a notebook and some books and in his other hand was what appeared to be a shotgun. “What is all this for?!” I looked back and forth from the gun to Levi with wide eyes.

“Let me explain before you think I’m a mad man.” He said calmly. Levi went back to his seat but he didn’t sit down. He just started putting everything down on the table, the gun clinking against the granite. He moved away from the table and grabbed the notebook, coming over to me. “Remember when I told you it’s good to get the information personally? About all this paranormal stuff?” He didn’t look at me. Whatever page he needed he found it. He showed it to me, standing by my shoulder. I was so shocked I couldn’t even speak up. “And I was taking notes. Little by little I accumulated my own information and started getting little things together.” He held out the book for me. I grabbed it reluctantly and my eyes fell to read the cursive, scrawled lettering that Levi had written there. All types of things were written on the pages, from wat I said about silver and different flowers to new information I never told him. I flipped through the pages skimming over everything while Levi moved around.

“You keep saying I won’t be able to handle it but I think you’re wrong.” He said. I looked up at him to see he was holding a brown pouch. It was identical to the one Hanji had given me. “I went back to shitty gla- to Hanji’s store and asked her to help me out.” The words came out like they stung him to say it. Apparently he didn’t like accepting help from others. “Which is how I wound up with all these.” He dug his hand out and produces a few different dried up flowers and stones both similar and different from the ones she had given me. I just sat there speechless with the book on my thighs.

“Then I went and located this.” He put everything back in the pouch and laid it on the table. He reached for the gun and grabbed it with two hands. “It’s not your average shotgun. Looking for this thing was a pain in the ass too.” He narrowed his eyes slightly. “It’s a salt shotgun, which should be pretty useful when we need it.” He explained. His eyes never left me, always looking for my reaction. “So you can’t say I don’t know anything.” He finished. I just watched him in return, truly stunned. He put the gun to the side and started walking to me, his steps light. “I know a few things. But most of all I know I can help you Mikasa. Whether you want to accept it or not, I can help.” He told me, taking the book from my fingers and laying it off on the table behind me. He stood right in front of me now.

He just kept on surprising me. Every move I made, every step I took he was always right there beside me or two steps ahead. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It was so different for me to understand all these new feelings, all these actions. When I pictured telling people I never once imagined they would accept it and try to help me like this. I never pictured someone willingly throwing themselves into this dark path with me, a path that would only lead to turmoil and misery. But Levi… He just kept proving me wrong at every turn.

I looked back to the gun, to the pouch, to the papers and the notebook strewn across the table. Then I looked into those grey eyes I had come to love. I opened my mouth to say something, to say anything but my voice escaped me. There were no words to describe what I was feeling. I was gracious for all of this, for him. I was thankful for the way he treated me. He made me feel special, feel wanted, but more than that I felt safe and protected.

Levi smirked at me and took my hands. “I can see it in your eyes. You don’t have to say it.” He said in a low voice. He was sparing me the perhaps awkward moment of trying to come up with a coherent, understandable sentence. I bit my bottom lip and looked down, shaking my head.

“No, I need to say it.” I said in a small voice. I mustered up whatever little courage I had and met his eyes full on. “Thank you. For everything. For listening to all of this and for accepting it.” I started slowly. “I never could have imagined… I never thought I would be able to meet someone like you. But here you are.” I smiled. But I knew what else I needed to say, no matter how hard it was to say it. “And I’m sorry.” I added real quickly because it felt foreign on my tongue. I felt hot all of a sudden and looked away from Levi’s eyes.

“Sorry for what?” He asked and by the way he said it I knew he wanted me to elaborate. So he’d let me off easy before but _now_ he wanted me to talk, I thought. I looked up at him and back down at my hands.

“I’m sorry for not listening.” There was one but he wouldn’t let me off cheap. “And for not thinking about things more. And for not telling you I was going off to find that demon.” I replied. I looked up at him. “But you can’t blame me for the last one. I really didn’t know what that compass was leading me to.” I reminded him. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Petra didn’t explain to me what it was for but I knew deep down it didn’t mean anything good when it went off like that. The noise was always too shrill to mean something good.

Levi looked like he was going to roll his eyes at me but stopped himself. He seemed to debate everything I said. I scrunched down a little under his gaze, again feeling open and bare to him like this. Whatever he was thinking he decided to just take what he can get. He brought his hand up and tipped my chin down before planting a light kiss on my lips. When he pulled back I whined a little, wanting more.

“I guess I’ll just take whatever I can get from you on this.” His lips quirked up into a smirk and he turned around. That smirk made me narrow my eyes. I kinda wanted more than that but he was backing off, I could see it. Maybe I should initiate then? My desire made me feel more courageous and bold. Maybe I would.

I got up and gathered the glasses, bringing them over to the sink. The least I could do was wash them. I wasn’t a freeloader after all. “You know, I never once said I’d let you tag along still.” I told him as I busied myself cleaning the glasses. It was a childish thing to even say in this moment when everything was said and done here but I still needed to say it. I was finishing the second glass when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me back a little. Levi hugged me close, his body snug on my back. I could feel the heat of him on my skin even through my clothes.

“Who said I was giving you a choice in the matter?” He whispered into my ear, his voice silky. I closed my eyes to the sound of it, the water still running. God, why was I so attracted to him? I snapped myself out of it and opened my eyes to turn off the water.

“That’s not fair and you know it.” I told him as I tried to turn around. He held me tighter, pressing me harder into the front of him to keep me right where I was. It didn’t look like I was going to get the chance to initiate anything myself this time around either.

“Life isn’t fair.” He retorted back. His one hand left my waist and started travelling down my side until he was holding my hip, his thumb moving circles by the hem of my shirt. My heart beat faster with anticipation, loving where this was going. I couldn’t let him think I would just take it all like this though.

I turned around too fast for him to hold me in place and held his shoulders to keep him from moving forward. His eyes were darkening, telling me we were thinking on the same page here. That was good. I liked the page we were on.

“Doesn’t mean you have to be unfair too.” I whispered back, so close to his lips. My eyes fell on them and I couldn’t help but lean forward and press my mouth to his. It felt so good to kiss him, to feel his lips on mines like this. He slanted his head so he could get the perfect angle on my lips and I pressed into him harder, wanting to feel more of him. My hands came up to cup his face, pulling him in closer so that now I was pressed into the sink before my fingers wound their way into his hair. Levi’s arms came up to hold my hips, our bodies pressed so tightly together it almost hurt.

Levi found my bottom lip and licked at it, letting me know he wanted entrance. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. Our tongues clashed as if fighting for dominance, rolling around together. My breath came faster with the desire for more, my tongue sliding up and down his. His tongue grazed over my teeth, tracing them and then going back to rolling around my tongue.

My fingers gripped his hair tightly, desire shooting down my body. I could feel it between my legs, almost pulsating with the need for more. I pulled back from Levi, my eyes closed as I tried to collect myself.

“Think we should-” He started to say which I interrupted him with frantic nods of my head. He gave me a single kiss before he grabbed my hand and led me to his bedroom. As we walked he let me go forward and as I opened his door he slapped my ass.

“Hey!” I said as I stepped into his room. He put his hands up.

“Sorry but it was asking for it.” He said it like that was an excuse. I crossed my arms. But as soon as he closed the door I was on him, our lips crashing together resuming the easy way we had been kissing before. Levi’s hands went right back to my hips, holding onto me tightly. He sucked at my bottom lip causing me to shudder against him. My hands clung to his back, my fingers digging into his shirt. I wanted it off. I wanted my own clothes off. I was so hot underneath it.

As if Levi could hear me he began moving his hands to my shoulders, sliding off my cashmere sweater. It dropped to the floor softly and Levi’s hands moved to grab around my shirt now. He pulled it up while I parted from him so he could take it off. When the fabric was gone I was right back on his lips, the tossed garments forgotten. His hands explored my burning skin while I was able to slip my tongue into his mouth to do some exploring of my own, feeling his teeth and drowning in the taste of him. My fingers wanted to go into his soft hair but I had something more important to do.

My hands wound there was to Levi’s chest and I felt around for the hem of his own shirt. He began pushing me back towards his bed while I did this but I never lost a step. When I got to it I slipped my fingers into his shirt to feel his marble-smooth skin, hot to the touch. He saw where I was going and parted from me so I could take his shirt and lift it up over his head, tossing it to the side. He grabbed for me as soon as it was gone and before I knew it he was picking me up.

I took a sharp breath and was about to protest while he was walking forward when he let me go and I bounced on the bed. “I learned that if I’m fast enough I can forego your complaining.” He said with a little flirty smirk on his lips. I whacked him on the shoulder but that didn’t stop him from crawling over me while I tried to back up. He took my arms and held them down on the bed and I was forced to lie down as he straddled me. I looked at him defiantly.

“So this is how we’re going to play this.” I sad trying to sound like I didn’t want this but my pulse was racing with excitement, loving all of it. Levi raised an eyebrow, leaning into me. He pressed a single, fiery kiss to my lips and went back to gazing at me in that intruding, hungry way.

“Why? You don’t like this?” He asked with a heavy voice as he moved to kiss my jaw. I bit my bottom lip, trying desperately to hold back any of my noises. His eyes didn’t miss my movement. “Really? And here I thought I was making you hot.” He kissed a line to my neck and stopped there. The smallest of noises bubbled up in my throat and I knew he heard it. My face became warm and I rubbed my legs together, an aching feeling between my thighs. He smiled knowingly down at me, pressing his weight harder into my hips so I could feel more of him, feel how hard he was getting beneath his pants.

“See, you do like it.” He smiled and went back to my neck, kissing it. I titled my head and bit my lip harder, giving him a better angle on me although I knew I shouldn’t have. He bit down on a sensitive part and I moaned, the sensation sending another shockwave of desire through my body. “You love it.” He whispered hotly against my skin, sucking a place below the bite and licking an area close to my collarbone. Oh god, yes, I loved it. I loved all of this. I wanted more, god, I wanted more.

Levi let go of one of my hands but I didn’t move it, instead taking some fabric from the bed and bunching it up in my fist. It made me feel better to squeeze that in my hand then to have it free to roam because that would give Levi the satisfaction of having me touch him. Not yet…

 His freed hand slid down my stomach, feeling at the muscles there. He reached my skirt button and popped it open all the while our eyes were locked. With one hand he pulled down the zipper and started taking it off my hips, pulling it down. I lifted my hips up so he could take it the rest of the way down. He had to lift himself off me a little too but before long it was gone. Levi, while still not entirely on me began fidgeting with my legging and I was becoming vastly impatient, wanting him to move along. I didn’t say it though. I just brooded on the bed.

If he was going to go so painfully slow then I could be a tease too. I brought my own freed hand to his exposed shoulders and go down his arm slowly, my nails delicately gliding against his skin. He looked like he wanted to close his eyes in that moment, like he was reveling in the feel of just that one motion. I smiled, enticing him to go on meanwhile I had my own fun.

“You say I’m unfair.” He said as his fingers finally dipped into my leggings. I flinched from the feeling of his warm hands on the skin of my hips, another sensation making me squirm my legs together. I rested my palm against his chest, finally closing my eyes.

“I can be when you’re acting like this. I’m really hot.” I told him. No use in hiding that, he could figure it out just by one touch. Levi made me hot all over yet he was the only one that could cool me down.

Levi brought my leggings down and had them thrown off to the side now. He went back to straddling me without putting too much weight into my hips like last time. I made a small whining noise, wanting to feel him like that. He leaned down and kissed me, his lips ravaging mine and all previous thoughts vanished.

He let go of my hands and instead put them on my hips when I started moving a upwards into him more, wanting to create more friction. I noticed it but was too captivated on his lips to really do anything about it. My hands acted of their own accord and clutched at his back, pulling him down into me further. Here I was in just my bra and panties but he was still in his jeans. I moved my hands to slide down the front of him in the small space we had between us until I felt the metal of his button. I fought to get it off while he kissed me like this, my mind foggy and clouded by the way his mouth took over mine, licking and nipping and sucking. It drove me wild but eventually I got the button open and was trying to pull his pants down.

Levi got the idea and pulled off me. I focused on trying to breathe while he got off me again to take his jeans off. My eyes focused on the frame of his body in the dimly lit room. He was built, his body lithe and capable. I admired that about him having done the same things to my body over the years with exercise. He came back to me while I took in the sight of him.

“You’re beautiful.” I whispered so softly I didn’t think he’d be able to hear me. His hand, which was gliding from my foot to my leg and thigh while he came back to the bed, stopped. He looked up from my legs to my eyes as if startled by what I said, the heat in his eyes dying out. When was the last time anyone told him that? It seemed like he didn’t even know what I was saying.

I tipped my head to the side and smiled at him. He looked so young like that, frozen in the moment. I leaned up and cupped his face now, staring into his eyes with as much love as I could. “You’re beautiful, Levi.” I said again this time so I knew he would be able to hear it. His hand fell from my leg and he just stared up at me wordlessly. Then it hit him that I was being honest and that it was ok, that this was ok. His eyes changed from emotionless to warm and loving. He brought a hand up to blanket over mine and he leaned forward to press a kiss onto my lips that was sweeter than any kiss we had shared before. It felt light to the touch but meant so much more to the both of us.

Levi pulled away and looked at me fully. We brought our hands down together. His hands went to my waist while I kept mines rested between us. The moment had taken a turn to something sweeter and more pure but I could feel that both our bodies had reacted to our earlier passion. I still needed more than this. So this time I acted first.

I went on all fours and started crawling to Levi now. He just watched me as I went into his lap and brought my pointer finger up to trace a line down the middle of his chest stopping right at the waistband of his boxers. He leaned back a little giving me more room to move forward and invade his personal space the way he had done to me.

“You know, I’m still really hot.” I smiled seductively at him. I looked down at his boxers and noticed that he was most definitely still turned on by me from the look of it. “And it looks to me like you are too.” I gave a small laugh and moved my fingers around the skin right next to the top of his boxers. Levi moved back again and I was getting the feeling like I had the advantage here.

I took no chances of being thwarted and grabbed his boxers to roll them down his hips. At first it didn’t look like Levi was going to move and get up for me to take them off. I stared him down until he did and had them off soon after, tossing them with the rest of the clothes strewn all along the floor. His erection was free for me. I looked at him in the eyes first before my eyes wandered over his body and fell on his member. I licked my lips, wanting to please him as much as he did to me.

I moved closer so my lips could reach his neck, kissing a soft trail down to his chest. His breaths became a little faster and I spared a glance to see him watching my every move, his hands balled up in the sheets behind him like they were the only things keeping him steady. I liked the look he was giving me, like I was sexy and tempting all in one, the desire clear as day there.

I moved my kisses down his chest to his stomach, kissing his dark happy trail. Then I moved even further until I had just what I wanted in my line of sight. I licked the slit of his cock hesitantly. Levi flinched at the feeling and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them just as fast but it was too late. I caught the reaction and it fueled me to keep going.

I swirled my tongue slowly around the head of his cock, slickening him with my saliva. Levi shuddered from it, a small moan in the base of his throat reverberating in his chest. I went further still, licking from the base of his cock all the way up and wrapping my lips around his head. I could almost feel the strain coming from Levi at staying still and not moving, a growl coming from him.

“Jesus…” He whispered, his voice gruff. I was turned on so he wasn’t going to get any mercy from me. I stated going down on Levi’s cock, fitting as much of him as I could while also slickening him up. Then when I couldn’t take any more of him in I pulled myself up until only his head was in my mouth and did it all over again. Levi let out another moan and his hands went to my shoulders, holding onto me tightly. The pace I worked up became almost too slow for me so I began going faster, sucking as much of him in my mouth as I could and going down on him before coming back up. My mouth made slurping noises as I worked and it mixed with the deep sounds of pleasure Levi made every once in a while- although I could tell he was trying to hold himself back- and the sounds of our heavy breathing.

I enjoyed every moment I had to make Levi feel this good. I loved being able to take the stoic man and turn him into putty like this. It was something only I was capable of in this moment. I hollowed out my cheeks and tried something a little bolder than what I normally did. I deep-throated Levi, fitting most of him in my mouth and swallowed around him. Levi made a small, choked back sigh and his hand went into my hair, tugging on it.

“Mikasa,” he huffed out. I didn’t look up at him, I didn’t need to. I could already feel that he was close in my mouth. His hips started moving as I kept bobbing my head up and down him. I hummed against his cock and he tugged harder on my hair causing me to keen against his cock that filled my mouth, slick and warm inside me. His breaths came rapidly and I could feel he was so, so close now. I kept doing what I was doing, taking as much of him as I could. I scraped my teeth against his cock at one point and that was it for Levi. He came in my mouth, his cum spilling into my mouth and onto my tongue as his cock twitched. I swallowed what I could and waited until I could feel he was done before popping off his cock. I licked whatever cum was there and looked up at him with amused eyes.

“That felt good.” I whispered, licking around my lips for any trace of the taste of him. I stood on all fours again and pressed a kiss to Levi, who looked so sexy, a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He pulled me closer into him unexpectedly, kissing me hard, forcing my mouth open so that his tongue could roll around mine. I sighed, my eyes shut tight as another wave of pleasure shot down my body. I was still hot and needy myself and giving Levi a blowjob didn’t cure me of the fire that burned through my body for him. My hands went into his hair, clutching onto him. Levi’s other hand snaked up my back and I could feel him fiddle with my bra, trying to get it off me. He succeeded and backed up so he could take my shoulder straps and pull them down my arms. The bra went with all the other pieces of clothes.

“You have no idea what you’re capable of.” He whispered. He moved forward, pushing me back a little so he could have more room. Levi ducked his head right by my ear and my eyes widened. “No idea, Mikasa.” He breathed out sensually into my ear. Levi took my earlobe in between his teeth and nibbled on it, giving it a lick. I cried out against the feeling, shocked but hell, it felt amazing. Levi moved his mouth against my neck, kissing me like he did before. His hands went to my hips and I could feel he was pulling down my panties. The way I was now, it would be a little hard to get them completely off so reluctantly I moved myself, instead kissing him hard on the lips. I swatted Levi’s hands off my underwear and slipped it off the rest of the way myself. I was about to get closer when Levi pulled off my lips. Again with this?

“What now?” I asked, feeling dejected for the hundredth time tonight. He looked at me like I was a kid again and moved off the bed to his dresser. I watched the perfect view from my seat on the bed, still on my hands and knees curious as to what he was doing when he opened it and tore something. Then he came back to me and onto the bed with something in a square plastic package. I understood immediately and felt my face heat up. I was naïve and completely about to throw caution to the wind for my own desire. “Oh.” I said, my voice a little pitchy.

Levi just went to me and gave me a quick kiss on his lips before he moved behind me and sat against the headboard. I turned myself so I wouldn’t have my ass all open and in his face, sitting down in front of him, embarrassed. “This is why you have me around. I’ll be the safe one here.” He smirked. He reached for me and started pulling me towards him so that I was in between his legs again while he kissed my forehead and all around my face. I held onto his arms, smiling. That I could deal with but I too had to remember to be safe.

Levi got the fire in me stirring again and my lips craved his mouth, kissing him with that fire in my chest trying to tell him I wanted more than just kissing. I put my hand between us and gripped his once again hard cock in my hands. He bucked into my hand, growling against my lips as I gave him one pump. “Come on Levi.” I purred against his lips, sucking on his bottom one.

Levi ripped the condom open and I moved my hand so he could do the honor. I watched as he rolled it on his member, my eyed lidded and my body alight with anticipation. I knew I was wet by now which felt embarrassing but all I could think about was Levi, about how he made me feel. He finished and moved his head forward to kiss me again. He pulled me on top of him and I wrapped my legs around his waist holding myself above his erection. I pulled off his lips and pressed my forehead to his as I started sinking down onto his hard cock. I let out a gasp as his head penetrated me until I had all of him filling me up and stretching me. My body shook from the sensation of how incredible it felt while Levi held tightly on my hips, a moan escaping his lips. I only waited for a few seconds before I started rolling my hips on him creating that blissful friction between up. I bit my bottom lip to keep from whimpering and started flicking my hips up and down, creating an easy rhythm between us.

Levi brought one of his hands up my stomach while I moved on him, taking all of him inside me, and found one of my breasts. He pinched the nipple and rolled his thumb across it making me moan, shutting my eyes at the feeling. He dropped his head so he could take the perky nipple into his mouth letting his tongue massage around it while he sucked on it.

“L-levi…” I breathed out, opening my eyes to see him working on me. He looked so sexy, his eyes flicking up to watch what he was doing to me. I moved faster on him, wanting that release we both needed. I moved my hands from his arms up into his hair while he sucked on my nipple. He let it go and started licking up my chest to my neck, his breaths hot against my throat. Moving like this was hot but I was starting to feel it in my legs, getting tired from the exertion of bouncing the way I was.

Levi must have felt my movements become weaker because he gripped my hips and pushed me backwards. I fell on my back on the bed while he hovered over me, still connected. My hair spilled onto the bedsheets and my arms fell to my sides. Levi’s lips collided with mine and I had no time to think before he was already moving, his hips moving back and forth into mine as he thrust into me harder each time. I turned my head so I could breath, bringing my hands to claw at his back.

“Hah! Oh, god, Levi…” I said breathlessly. I hooked one of my legs onto his hips as he pounded into me hitting me deeper until he hit that one spot and I shut my eyes tight. “Huh!” I cried out at the feeling. Levi kissed my cheek and took one of my hands off his back, entwining our fingers together and bringing them over my head. He kept doing exactly that, hitting my sweet spot and making my spine tingle with it. I gripped his hand tightly as I felt that pooling sensation deep in my stomach.

“Mikasa.” Levi whispered my name into my ear. I turned my head to look at him and he kissed me as he thrust into me, angling his head so that our lips molded perfectly over each other. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I felt myself tighten around Levi and I threw my head back, coming hard. I could feel Levi still thrusting into me while I rode out the wave of ecstasy until I felt him shudder on top of me, stopping his movements as he came.

I had to control my breathing before I could open my eyes and look up at him. We were both sweaty and completely spent. Levi was able to hold himself up above me, his arms shaking. I smiled and pulled him closer so that he rested on top of me like a warm blanket.

I didn’t speak, I only kissed him softly to show him how incredible that was, to show him how he made me feel. He kissed me back as if saying it was the same for him. Then we both tried to collect ourselves, my body tensing and relaxing from my orgasm that rocked my whole body. Levi lulled his head into the crook of my neck, his breaths hot and heavy while I combed my fingers through his hair gently.

*****

The morning after all that had been pretty hectic. I showered at Levi’s and found myself stealing his workout pants and a t-shirt to go back to my place so I could dress properly. Before we rushed out the door I was almost tempted to shoot Levi with his salt shotgun. He insisted on bringing it with him, saying you could never be too careful and it was stupid not to when he had a perfectly good case for it. So, to not kill the short man with his own gun, I let him have the stupid thing, saving us time in the long run. That argument would have gone on for way longer than either of us would have liked.

On the walk to my apartment Levi told me how I should just bring some clothes over to his apartment so we wouldn’t have to keep doing such an unnecessary thing so early in the morning. His words made me feel extremely happy at first but the way he said it didn’t. It was an “unnecessary step” to him, you could hear it in his voice that that’s what he meant by his little offer, so I refused.

I got dressed super fast in black skinny jeans and a baggy red shirt with grey sleeves. I threw on a beanie to hide my mess of hair and grabbed my first pair of dry black boots. Then I put my coat on, grabbed my purse, red scarf, and ushered both Levi and myself out of my apartment.

We stopped to get coffee on the way to the store, something that would be very much needed. Levi bought us two croissants at a nearby bread bakery and then we were in front of the shop. I was stubborn and tried to fish my key out while balancing my coffee and the croissant I half ate in my hand when Levi rolled his eyes at me and snatched my coffee.

“I really don’t know why you are so stubborn to relinquish control for once or ask for help.” He chastised while I gave him a look and found the key. I unlocked the door and we both went inside.

“Because I know I can handle it.” I said back, snatching my coffee right back from him as he walked through the door. Then I walked away like I did nothing while I felt his eyes burning at the back of my head. I could have sworn I heard him mumble “stubborn woman” while he turned on the lights but I ignored it.

I got to the break room and took off my coat and put all my stuff down. Then I grabbed my phone and looked through my messages while I drank my coffee and ate the last of my croissant. Sasha sent me a text reminding me tonight was the redo birthday party for me and I both smiled and became a little worried about it. Sasha was always over-enthusiastic about these things and it made for some pretty crazy, albeit fun, parties. Plus there was always the spirits that could wreak havoc, or even worse, demons.

Levi came in after me but I ignored him and stole glances at the long, black case on his back, the one black strap across his chest holding it in place. I don’t know why it felt so weird to me but it truly did. Just knowing he had thought about this so much to go this far was almost startling. Honestly the case didn’t look at all threatening but still. It felt funny to see something like that and know what it could be used for, that it was to help me vanquish the evil undead. He was putting it away though so maybe out of sight out of mind would make me feel better about it.

Levi turned and our eyes met abruptly. I looked away but it was too late, he had seen me. I pretended to be busy on my phone, expecting him to make some sort of comment so when he didn’t I was curious. When I looked up again he was already leaving the room without another word.

So there went my morning.

 

It was late afternoon and things were getting pretty lively in the store. Bertholdt had come in to work earlier in the day and Marco had sent me a text saying he could work too, which was fine to me. Eventually I had to make a schedule of work days and shifts and all that but for now this system was enough for me.

The customers kept coming in today, which really was good for business but it meant I had to be smiley and nice pretty much the whole day. Levi stayed manning the register while Bertholdt and I took turns working the floor and helping Levi on register.

“Seems like we have a lot of people that want to check the place out today.” I commented as I switched places with Bertholdt while the influx of people had dwindled down. I turned to Levi. “You think this place is starting to get popular here yet?” I wondered. I wouldn’t know because I didn’t talk to people all too often about these things but maybe Levi had some kind words. Instead he just looked at me with a rather emotionless expression like he was looking at paint dry.

“Who knows. Maybe word has gotten around that this place has a ghost problem.” He suggested. My heart dropped and my jaw almost did the same but I forced it to stay shut. My eyes scanned the room in less than a second to make sure no one heard that and I punched Levi’s arm harder than usual. His expression cracked and he looked like he was trying not to smirk sarcastically at me.

“You jerk!” I hissed in a low voice. “Don’t say that! People are going to hear you and then they’re going to think we’re all crazy or something.” I looked from him to the customers, too conscious of their presence now. Levi just wiped at his shirt sleeve where I hit him like all I was was dust but he didn’t bring it up again. I leaned against the counter with a disgruntled look until I heard the bells on the front door go off. I looked and there walked in a smiling Marco who looked like, well, a mess. He had a binder and a textbook in his one hand and his backpack was slipping on his arm.

“Hi! Sorry, oh god.” He was only two steps into the door before his backpack that was already only half on his shoulder slipped and went crashing to the floor. Marco put on this shy but tired look like he was annoyed with either himself or his backpack. I couldn’t tell which.

“What happened to you out there?” I asked, surprised Marco was so disheveled. I walked over to help him grab his backpack and collect his strewn papers. When he tried to take it back from me I wouldn’t let him. He looked like he needed more help right now then he was willing to let on so nope, that backpack was mine. He sighed but knew it was probably for his own good.

“I just came back from an impromptu study session with a few of my friends but it kinda turned hectic because… yeah.” Now Marco looked like he was going to burst into flames or something. I had no clue what he was talking about but I wouldn’t press it if the guy was that embarrassed about whatever it was that made him look like that. I let him walk ahead of me.

“Alright. Well, if it was that bad you didn’t have to come in. You could’ve just gone home and relaxed or-” I was walking a few paces behind him when I noticed it. Marco had been walking calmly, not even hiding it so he probably hadn’t even seen it yet but I could see it as clear as day. I bit my lip to stop from saying something outright and to stop myself from the smile that was spreading across my face because on the left side of his neck was a giant, purple-ish looking hicky.

“Or something.” I finished, my voice sounding just a little wobbly from holding back the laughter. I took a breath and released it as we entered the breakroom where I could finally put his backpack down on a chair.

“Thanks for helping me Miks.” He thanked while he put his binder and notebooks down on the table. I nodded my head but took a quick glance out the door to see if anyone was within hearing distance of us. Then I turned back to Marco who looked at me with and eyebrow raised. “What?” He asked. I couldn’t just not tell him he had a huge hicky though. If Levi pointed it out it would be way worse, or if Bertholdt saw it… That poor guy wouldn’t even know how to handle it and probably self-destruct or something. So alas I had to be the one to say something.

I played with the bottom of my scarf and picked it away from my neck like it was too constricting, trying to find the right words to tell Marco without completely embarrassing him. I bit my bottom lip. “Um, I don’t know how else to say this but, um…” I trailed. I finally met Marco’s eyes and I saw a mirror behind him. Maybe showing him would be better. “Hold on.” I walked over and grabbed his shoulders, turning him around. He was as confused as ever while I led him to the mirror.

“Wait, what’s going on? Why are you bringing me to the corner?” He tipped his head to the side. We stopped right in front of it and all I had to do was point at his neck. I knew Marco understood as soon as his eyes fell on the mark because his eyes widened and his face became so red he literally looked like he was going to burst into flames now. He slapped his hand over it and turned around so fast, looking at me with a truly embarrassed expression on his face that it made me feel embarrassed. I put my hands up.

“It’s not that bad, I promise!” I tried to reassure him but it didn’t look like my words were getting through to him. What else could I say, what else could I say! “Um, if you want you can hide it with this?” I gestured at my scarf. That would be a good way to make it non-existent. Marco just looked at me with those wide eyes, blinking as he slowly tried to regain himself.

“I am so sorry, oh my god I didn’t even realize…” He began rambling. I waved my hands in front of him, not at all needing an explanation.

“No, it’s ok. I understand so don’t even worry about it.” I said hoping that would soothe his frantic-ness. I began unraveling my scarf from my neck and handed it to him. “Here. I would offer concealer but I don’t think our skin tones are the same.” I smiled. Marco was darker for sure but even then if he did use it the hicky would just be more noticeable because of a lighter concealer. Your eyes would naturally be drawn to the random patch of lighter skin and it would make Marco feel even worse.

“Are you sure I can borrow it?” Marco asked just to make sure. I smiled, giving a little nod and held it out again to him. He took my scarf and began wrapping it around his neck. “Thanks Mikasa. Seriously you are a life saver. I don’t even know what I would do if a customer or like Levi pointed it out.” Marco frowned and shivered like that was the last thing. He looked at me again apologetically. “No offense to you and him though. He just has this expression.” Marco explained, his hands working to fix the scarf around his neck in a way to hide the hicky. I was more stuck on the fact that he just said me and Levi though. Did Marco know about us?

“Me and Levi?” I couldn’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth. I bit my tongue as soon as I said it though. It would have been better if I just didn’t say anything to begin with because either way I was going to be flustered.

Marco looked at me and nodded. This apparently wasn’t any new kind of gossip to him. “Yeah. You guys are together, no? You act like you are.” He said plainly. I blinked at him and that seemed to make him feel like he had it totally wrong. His face fell. “Oh, I just assumed you were because, yeah…” He stuttered. I opened my mouth and no words would come out at first. Then I tried again.

“Um, actually, it’s not like we _aren’t_ together exactly, if that’s what you would call it.” Now I was confused and utterly lost about that. We never said we were together but our actions begged to differ. Did it need to be said aloud before it was real? Or could I just assume like Marco that we were actually together? The thoughts ran wild in my head and if I had gears in there they would be stuttering and up in smoke.

Marco turned understanding eyes on me now and smiled. I felt like he was looking at me like I was a puppy or something. “I get it. You don’t have to explain it. As long as you’re comfortable with what you two have then that’s all that matters.” He advised to me. He patted me on the shoulder and turned to leave the room. When he was by the door though he stopped and turned to me. “But if you aren’t happy with that then you should grab him and kiss the crap out of him and tell him you love him.” Marco smiled playfully and laughed. MY eyes widened and I grabbed a pen from the table and threw it at him.

“Marco!” I yelled between my teeth so it wouldn’t be so loud. He dodged it easily and ducked by the door.

“What! It’s the truth!” He said back to me, still giggling. I started running after him, feeling like he knew way more than he was supposed to, yelling at him to be quiet about it. We ran through the store like that for a minute and Marco was laughing so much that I couldn’t help but laugh a little myself.

It wasn’t like what he said was outrageous. It made me think more about my relationship with Levi and what we had together. Was I ok with the way that it was or did I want to put myself out there and figure out what Levi thought about all this too? It was hard to think about just by myself so I knew what I had to do. I just didn’t like the idea of having to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this took a little while to write teehee. I've been trying to get myself into adult-shape over here with college and bank accounts and cars and it was a lot so yeah. But there goes the next chapter minna! I hope you enjoyed it! Like it? Leave a comment! Didn't like it? Leave a comment too! I always love to hear from you guys. And as always thanks for keeping up with me!!!


	19. Standing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... hahaha.... I know it's been like almost a year. Seriously tho, I'm sorry for disappearing minna. College and that working life got to me and I had no motivation to write during the year with all the stress of this stage in life called being an adult. It's all pretty new to me haha.... Anyway, if you've been sticking to this fic here goes another chapter! Thanks for reading and please look forward for more to come!!

Closing time crawled at the slowest pace. I was so bored I preoccupied myself with stocking up the upstairs bookshelves by author. Twice. Just to be sure, you know? Yeah, I was really bored, sue me.

“Come on, Mikasa. You can’t stay up there forever.” Came Levi’s voice from downstairs. I blinked, not even realizing what time it was, holding one of the last books in my hand. I pulled my phone out and all but squealed. Yes, closing! Home! Peace and- oh wait. Oh, wait… I frowned and my shoulders slumped at the thought that I would in fact not get the sleep I wanted. Nope, instead I would be hosting a belated birthday party for myself. I groaned and put the book back in the box, grabbing it and heading downstairs to the back room.

“Thanks for reminding me.” I called to Levi before I went to the room and set the box down. I went back out and busied myself counting the money in the register, filling out the days report and that was it for that. Levi had been sweeping the front. “Time to head out.” I said to him and went back to the back room. Levi put the broom down and followed me.

I put on my jacket in silence and picked up my scarf where Marco had left it for me. I let him and Bertholdt go early because the store was basically dead- pun not intended, thank you- so it was only Levi and me. Why make four people miserable watching the store? We grabbed our stuff and I watched Levi sling that giant black case over his shoulder, trying my hardest not to be bad about it or comment on his safety anymore. He was adamant about this and if I was being honest with myself I kind of really liked knowing that I had someone who not only believed what I was saying was the truth but cared about my safety and wanted to help me too. It was so different from what I was used to but I could learn to accept this. It might be slow going but I could put the effort in to accept things the way they were.

I locked up the door this time and together we walked silently to our apartments. It wasn’t an awkward silence, more like a comfortable one. I felt safe standing beside him, a new connection between us formed from yesterday’s conversation. I might not like that he was getting himself into this chaos with me but I liked having someone there for me, who knew my secret and wanted to help. Levi was special. I was being truthful when I said I never thought I would find someone quite like him.

But did that mean we were together?

Levi turned his head and looked at me. “You gonna keep staring at me?” He never smiled but you could see he was messing around with me by the look in his eyes. I shrunk into my scarf and turned my head away indignantly, not even realizing I had been staring to begin with.

“Fine.” Yeesh, I couldn’t even stare at him without him finding out. This guy knew way too much all the time. I took a peek back at him and he was actually smiling now in his cruel, I-got-you way. I did not pout, I swear I did not pout at him.

Eventually we reached the point where we had to part ways. We didn’t have any plans anyway. I didn’t even think twice when I knew Levi had to go down a different road than me. I was just going to let him do his thing and got on with it, but apparently that wasn’t good enough because when I didn’t stop walking he didn’t seem to like that. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back and I was forced to turn and meet him lest I bust my butt falling backwards into cold slush. I stopped myself from falling by grabbing onto his arms while he held me steady and all but laughed at me.

“That’s what happens when you don’t say goodbye.” He chastised. I shot him daggers but they didn’t last. Levi pulled me down a little and kissed me. I wasn’t expecting it at all and my face instantly flushed because I knew there were people around us. The kiss didn’t last long but it felt like forever to me. He pulled back and caught my flustered expression, letting me go gently. “Come on, Ackerman. You can handle a little kiss. You’ve handled way more.” He said with a coy smirk knowing full well I would start thinking about… things. I slapped him away and went to hit him with my bag but he dodged it. Seemed like everyone wanted me to throw things at them today.

“You are a jerk.” I said, fuming, but inside I was burning up. He gave a low chuckle and started walking down the road he had to take while I stared after him. He always left me with a feeling of wanting somehow and I didn’t know if that was normal or more hormones than anything. I felt lonely when he left but I had to go home too. With one last glance I turned and went to my apartment.

 

“Come on, Krista, one more, one more!!” Sasha was laughing like a hyena having had too much alcohol for the night. Krista was standing up with a glass herself laughing and Ymir was on the couch staring proudly at her girlfriend for the dance she did just moments before.

“No!” Krista squeaked in a high pitched voice, coming down off my couch. She looked like she was going to stumble into the pizza box. Ymir grabbed at her hips and led her back to the floor with everyone else.

“Watch out. I don’t think everyone would appreciate me eating pizza off you if you fell in the pizza box.” Ymir stuck her tongue out, giving Krista a wink. Krista grabbed her glass and a pink flush came over her cheeks.

“No, that was great! That was too funny, oh my- oh my god!” Sasha spewed out again between intakes of breath, still laughing her ass off. I picked up my drink and went to my iPod, changing the song to something better for the mood. Yup, just a regular old sleepover with the girls. Pizza and a lot of alcohol.

“Let’s let her catch her breath Sasha. That dance looked pretty taxing.” I thought about the fluidity of Krista’s movements from moments ago and almost shuttered. I swigged down the last of the coke and rum in my cup and put the glass down. “Ok, let’s see what else we can do here…” I looked down at the strewn cards, the board games, the controllers and two game counsels they brought over and almost had a heart attack. There was a floating head half in between my floor and below my floor just chilling there. I looked at everyone else, already preoccupied by something else. They didn’t see it but of course I had the misfortune of having to deal with it. Could I just have one night to myself?

How was I going to deal with this? They needed to move. Oh! Bingo, I knew the perfect solution! I grabbed for the pizza box, a collected ‘hey!’ coming from my friends, and maneuvered my friends.

“Come on guys, follow the pizza to the room, you can do it.” I teased them, waving the pizza box in their faces for emphasis. Ymir tried to snatch for it but I was faster. “Nope. Grab the alcohol, we’re migrating to my room. It’s late anyway.” I said, looking at the clock. The numbers looked a little blurry but it was after three at for sure.

“Come on, you stingy birthday girl.” Ymir groaned as she got up. She grabbed the last of the cheap beers she brought over with her while she stood. I took a step back to assure my- and the pizza box’s- safety. Krista grabbed the coke and Sasha of course grabbed the rum. The rest of the strewn contents on the floor would be staying there until the morning.

“There’s like, two slices left and I’m calling both of them!” Sasha darted for the box but I once again was faster and ran to my bedroom door.

“Nope, you don’t get it yet.” I said, opening my door and going in.

“No, I want a slice too!” Krista yelled, running after Sasha. They followed me into my room and I went to my bed and collapsed on it. Sasha charged me and hopped on, causing me to go flopping around. “Don’t eat it!” Krista scrambled towards us and gracefully landed on the bed hands first. She crawled to Sasha and grabbed at her pajama’s, holding her back. Sasha was only looking at the pizza box and I swear she was drooling.

“Jesus, you act like we didn’t order three whole pizza’s. And one of them went to just you.” I looked at Sasha like she was crazy, holding the box behind me. Sasha came at me again, followed by Krista holding her back.

“Hey, wait! I want one Sasha!” She cried out again. I looked at them like they had turned into wild animals, keeping the box clear of the both of them. I looked over at Ymir who was currently preoccupied trying to make the sofa comfortable for her and Krista. I waved her over. “A little help here!” I yelled for her. Ymir looked at me, the scene, then rolled her eyes and strolled over. She had the pizza box in seconds, opening it up and grabbing the two slices. She sandwiched them and bit them both mercilessly.

“Nooooo!!!!” Sasha cried out, her hands thrown up in horror at her lost slices. Krista made a small defeated noise and her bottom lip quivered. I just couldn’t even right then. I wanted help but I guess her form of help included destroying the pizza dreams of the two of them.

“There, it’s taken care of. Now I’m tired.” She put the pizza box on the chest at the end of my bed. “Come on Krista. Time for bed.” She beckoned the petite blonde over. Krista, sad face and all, went over and got on the sofa bed.

“Fine but you owe me lunch now. Somewhere fancy,” She decided adamantly as she grabbed the blankets. Ymir smiled and got in after her.

“Whatever you want babe.” She said, getting all cozy in the small little couch. “That includes you, Sasha. Sleep.” She turned her head to look right at Sasha who had been reaching for the pizza box. Was she trying to look for pizza in there? It was all gone, what the hell.

“But… pizza…” Sasha dropped the box finally and crawled up onto my bed, making herself comfortable in the sheets. I just looked at everyone. Alright, that was a lot easier than what I thought it would be. Sleep was good and it was late anyway. Ymir finished the slices as Sasha turned onto her stomach. I followed them, turning on the TV and putting on some comedic movie for anyone who was paying attention. Ymir and Krista watched it for a little bit before I saw them doze off. Sasha was the last one to go to sleep and then it was just me in the dark room staring up at the ceiling.

It was a nice night. My friends weren’t burdens, no, they were people that made me smile and made me laugh when I needed it most. Sometimes dealing in my line of work I forgot how nice it was to have people who could make me laugh like this. They reminded me of what my life was before the accident, of joy and fun times. It was nice. And it wasn’t like I couldn’t have fun, it was just harder for me. I closed my eyes, wrapping the blankets around my shoulders and noticing Sasha creeping closer to me on the bed. Oh, Jesus, she was gonna be clingy tonight. I smiled and dozed off finally, recalling a shorter man with hard, grey eyes.

*****

The next week came by quietly. Almost too quiet.  It was an uneventful few days not disturbed by Dark Ones or reckless spirits. Quiet times like these always made me wary of what was going to happen next.

Eren hadn’t called me for a while so I took it as a sign that he was still upset about the other day. Armin did contact me a few times and we texted each other like normal, asking what was going on and how we were doing, the usual stuff. The girls stopped harassing me about my life for the time being because of the belated birthday party but I knew that wouldn’t last long. They were really on my case about the ‘guy I liked’ and one way or the other I was going to have to come clean.

“Another cold Tuesday, huh?” An older customer said with a smile, her hair in slight disarray. She was holding an older book in her hand, having definitely gone through some wear and tear from years of being opened and read. I looked outside at the mid-February grey skies and nodded.

“Looks like it. Heading home?” I asked her as she collected her walker from a nearby chair. She laughed in a muted way and began walking to the door.

“Yup. I will see you again soon, Ms. Ackerman.” She waved a small goodbye to me. I smiled back.

“See you soon.” I said, leaning against the counter over the new box of books we had. She left, a young man holding the door open for her in time so I didn’t have to. It was nice to have an actual connection to your customers. I recalled the first time she had come in asking me for a few older book editions. Sadly I didn’t have a few of them but I ordered them for her and since we have been talking like that. I turned back to the box, thinking of the week I’ve had.

Bertholdt was currently upstairs handling a rather difficult customer request for a few books. I stayed up front so I could watch the store and take care of customer requests. Much to the dismay of Levi I made him take a day off to do whatever it is he needed to do so for the afternoon it was just me and Bertholdt holding down the fort. I swear though, Levi would not let me live that down. Here I was thinking I did a good thing for him and it turned into a nightmare. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Actually, it was yesterday.

_“Why are you giving me a day off?” He asked. I had been at his apartment that night to look into all of the notes he’d shown me the night he thrusted that gun into my face. I didn’t think much of the schedule I made let alone contemplate he would get mad about it._

_“Because you’re an employee just like everyone else and you don’t need to be at the store all the time?” I stated like it was the obvious conclusion. Wait, this note here was interesting. What was this about black salt Levi had written? I grabbed another piece of strewn loose leaf and held the two in front of me on his kitchen counter. Right when I felt like I hitting something here or finding something new out the papers were taken right out of my hands. I looked up at Levi._

_“Can I help you?” I reached for the papers and he took a single step back, just enough to be out of my reach. I let out air, moving a piece of my bangs fly up on my face, and waited for him to say what he apparently needed to say._

_“Did I not tell you just recently that I was going to protect you? How exactly is that going to work if I’m not working with you, Ackerman?” He used only my last name to patronize me. I narrowed my eyes._

_“Why does that matter? It’s just one single day. Let yourself relax, shorty. I think I can afford a day by myself.” I said in a dry tone, reaching for the papers again._

_“The last time I let you out of my sight you were attacked by a foul… thing possessing a human body.” My eyes widened just enough that I knew Levi would catch it, and he did. That Dark One was not just a regular Dark One. It was a demon. Dark Ones could not transform human bodies like that and make them grotesque figments of their previous selves. I looked away when his grey eyes softened. “I’m not about to sit back and ‘relax’ when you have these spirits, these Dark Ones chasing after you and threatening your life.” He said it like I knew he would, meaning everything that came out of his mouth. I bit the inside of my cheek, still not looking at him._

_A day off wasn’t such a bad thing. I wanted to give him time to recuperate, to take his mind off of all the crap I dragged him into. I still saw him as someone who was fragile, as someone who couldn’t handle everything that I had to deal with. Spirits were serious business, business regular people had no clue about. Levi was a regular person. He shouldn’t have to be uptight about everything all the time. No, this burden still fell on me, only me. No matter how much I wanted to let him in I still couldn’t let some of this go._

_“And so you get a day off. Big deal. Enjoy yourself. I’m gonna be at the same spot as usual. Oddly enough, I don’t have many interactions with spirits in the store so it’s fine.” I pushed away his worry and looked back at the other papers on the table. I could feel Levi fuming next to me, his eyes on the back of my head. Nope. I was not going to change the schedule or my mind about it. I was the owner of the store anyway. It was fine._

_“Mikasa,” Levi started and from his tone I could already tell where this was going to go. He was going to make me change it if I wanted to or not, or sweet talk me into doing it. No. I stood up abruptly and grabbed my bag._

_“Actually, I’m tired now. I’ll come by some other time to take a look at these.” I said, already walking to the door. I must have taken him by surprise because he didn’t say anything for a few seconds. That was all the time I needed. By the time he collected himself I had my coat and shoes on._

_“Wait, I’m not taking-”  I cut him off when I opened the door, walked out, and shut it behind me._

Yeah, that’s pretty much how it went that day. I texted him this morning to tell him not to come by the store or I’d be pissed and that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. He hasn’t replied at all so I took it that he was still probably upset about yesterday. If he was going to be such a jerk about a single day off then fine, he could be. I had work to do anyway.

I went through the store cleaning, dusting, and polishing all the wood countertops. As I went through the store I took notice of how tidy it already was. I wasn’t the one normally cleaning the place. Now that I was cleaning it for myself I remembered Levi always with the broom, or always wiping down something or saying how he didn’t like filthy things. He’d been cleaning the store all this time and I didn’t really think about it until now. I felt a pang in my chest, completely unnecessary but emotions could be like that. It wasn’t like I fired him. I’d see him tomorrow. Hopefully…

 

The day went by slowly and eventually closing time rolled in. Bertholdt had been a champ, taking on a little extra work today for the missing person we had. He definitely did his fair share and I would note that on his record for when raises came along.

“Fewww, today was busy.” He said, wiping his brow. I nodded.

“Yeah, it kind of sucks when it’s just two of us here all day. Not that it was bad, it just means more work.” I counted the money in the drawer, leaving some for the next day. I put everything in envelops and filled out the end of the day information. Looked like we were starting to get a steady flow of revenue at this point. That was good.

“What happened to Levi?” Bertholdt asked out of the blue. I looked up at him, emotionless. He put his hands up nervously. “I mean, he usually works everyday like you. I’m surprised he even wanted a day off.” He meant it innocently and I felt a little bad for the look I had given him. I looked back down, writing out the end of the day money we made.

“I gave him a day off. You guys are regular employees. You can’t work here every day all the time. That would be way too stressful for you guys.” I explained. I finished all the paperwork and tucked it into the binder, stashing it under the counter. Then I grabbed my purse and my keys. “That reminds me. I just put a calendar in the back. If you need a day off you can write it on the calendar and I’ll give it to you.” I told him. It was about time I got a system to let them take certain days off when they needed it. I on the other hand couldn’t. At least not until I found an assistant manager, but until then, no days for me.

Bertholdt thanked me and we got to talking about the store and what we had to do for tomorrow. As we started exiting I remembered I forgot to check the back door. I let out an annoyed sound.

“Bertholdt, you can go on ahead of me. I forgot to lock the back door.” I said. He looked like he didn’t exactly like the idea but I assured him it would be fine. He walked along shortly after and I went back inside, irritated at myself.

This is my store and I’m forgetting to do simple things now. Maybe I should make a checklist in my phone to look at at the end of the day. That might be a smart move. I haven’t forgotten about the back door before though.

I got to the back and checked it, locking it with my keys. Then I checked the alarm system again and the heating. Everything was exactly how it was supposed to be. It was nice that so far I didn’t have to deal with stupid crap like vandalism or theft yet. I’d take it as some seriously good luck.

I walked out and locked the door. Then it was off to my apartment for me. I walked the usual path making sure to watch out for my surroundings. I never looked at anyone directly but I always took note of who I was walking towards and any dark, shady looking alleys. Crossing the street to avoid dark places had become a habit for me. I was not going to risk it.

When I took the turn to my apartment I looked at a group of people in front of it. Probably meeting up to do something or hanging out, I thought to myself. One person in particular looked different from the rest and it was only when I got closer that I could tell who they were the second I saw them in the light. Levi was standing there smoking a cigarette, his hand on the thick black strap across his chest holding the salt shotgun. While my heart felt a flutter my eyes narrowed suspiciously. I made a point not to look directly at him when I passed him.

“Seems like you didn’t trust me after all.” I said kind of angrily. Yeah, I was a little more than annoyed at this point and maybe it wasn’t his fault but still. “What, thought something was going to come after me on my way home?” I chuckled darkly like he had to be kidding me. I took my key out and unlocked my door, hearing Levi stomp out his cigarette. Looks like he picked up his bad habit again.

“No. I thought something could have gotten to you way earlier than this.” He said flat out. I looked at him with daggers in my eyes. He disregarded me and waited for me to open the door to the apartment building. “Glad to see your back in one piece Ackerman.” He was being condescending, I could hear it in his voice, but he was trying to let me know he was worried without actually saying it. Sweet as that was all it did was make me feel incompetent, like I couldn’t take care of myself.

I swung open the door harder than needed and tried to close it quickly shut behind me so Levi couldn’t follow me but his hand was on the door in two seconds prying it from me so he could step in after me. I didn’t say anything, just balled one of my hands into a fist at my side and stomped over to the stairs. It looked like the elevator was going to be packed from the herd of people waiting for it right then so stairs it was.

“I have been looking after myself for this long without winding up dead Levi. I can handle myself.” I spoke the words hard, serious so that he knew I was irritated with his concern. I had a few issues when it came to people caring for me. Usually I was the one doing the caring for, like when I grew up with Armin and Eren. I took care of them. It was never the other way around. Levi followed me to the stairs and the door to the stairwell shut hard, the noise echoing up and down the narrow hallway.

“I am well aware of that fact, thank you for reiterating it.” He said behind me, walking up the steps right behind me. He smelled like cigarettes. The stink was potent on his clothes, like he had been smoking all day. Was he that worried or something? “I just wanted to make sure that you actually came back in one piece and it looks like you have.” He finished. I raised an eyebrow. Was that all he needed then?

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m in one piece. If that’s all you needed you can go then.” I was about to say that he didn’t have to follow me to my apartment door for god’s sake when a lightbulb blew out ten feet in front of me. I jumped, my heart thumping loudly in my chest at the sound of shattering glass raining down on the floor. The hallway got really quiet all of a sudden, no sounds of footsteps or other people to be heard. In my argument with Levi I didn’t notice that. I looked down at him, wary.

“Freak accident?” I tried to chalk it up to coincidence but these things usually didn’t happen out of the blue, especially when I’m involved. Another lightbulb exploded closer to us this time and the stairwell lost more light. I flinched, looking back around when another one shattered, inching closer still. Shit, this was not a coincidence. Not anymore.

“Levi, I think we should…” I was going to say we should walk back down to the lobby but the light behind Levi blew out too. It kept getting darker around us, the lights further ahead dimming until it was almost all black. Two more lights and we would be shrouded in darkness. I tried to think fast, my hand reaching for my purse, for the salt and the silver I kept in there. Something was coming, I could feel it on the hairs that stood up on my arms.

“Mikasa, get behind me.” Levi moved past me in an instant and had me pinned against the wall of the stairwell with his back. I froze for a moment, then shut my eyes when the lightbulb not two feet away from us blew out, the glass shooting out around us. Levi grabbed the strap on his chest and whipped it off his body. He leaned down, flicking open the case as my heart pounded in my chest. I shook myself out of my frozen state, adrenaline coursing through me for fear that Levi was going to be involved. It was one thing to think it was brave and completely sweet of him to care for me enough to want to be involved with spirit business and a whole other to see him actually put his life on the line for this.

“No, Levi, don’t! I can handle this!” He had the gun in his hand in the next second, not listening to me when the other lightbulb blew out and shut us into complete darkness. My eyes couldn’t adjust and I fell against the wall, my hand shooting forward for Levi. He pressed himself in closer to me, his body blocking me from the open stairwell and I gripped at the back of his shirt for the connection.

“Shh, it’s ok. The lights are just out.” He said to me, trying to ease my fear. This fear wasn’t for myself though. He was using himself as a human shield and for nothing. He shouldn’t be doing this.

“No, Levi, move. I can handle whatever this is, just please move.” I tried to push him back, to scoot myself out from behind him but he put his hand out, caging me in. I looked up, my eyes slowly adjusting their way in the darkness and saw something coming towards us on the stairs. It was crawling down, the movements rough and jittery, broken as it came down. It was a black blob with something dark in the center, a foul soul damaged through years of anger and madness, wrapped in a shell of grey. I hadn’t come across a two-colored soul before. I stayed on high alert, extremely wary of it.

“Levi, there’s a Dark One coming down the stairs. Please, move.” I pushed against his arm harder. He still didn’t move, holding his gun out in front of him aiming in the wrong direction. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t see them like I could and I had forgotten that somewhere along the way. He could have all the guns and all the salt in the world but if he couldn’t see then he was vulnerable.

I ducked under his arms before he could realize what he was doing and I slipped just shy of his grasping hands in the darkness. “Mikasa, wait!” He shouted out in the hallway but I was too fast and it was dark. I didn’t stumble once, not when the thing was coming closer to us. No, I charged right at it- and right into another floor, trying to lead it away. The floor I was on was pitch black just like the stairwell. I could hear the cracking and grinding of the Dark One. He didn’t care for Levi at all, he was coming right for me. Petra had said that I was a Cleaner so it made me a natural target. When Hitch attacked she said I smelled good so that had to be part of the reason why.

I ran down the hallway as it charged me, becoming much faster than before. It’s spiny, thin limbs- if you could call them that- rotated around, propelling the thing forward. I looked behind me, my hair in my eyes, as it slammed into the wall, bounced off, and came at me full force.

I ducked in time before it hit me, rolling on the ground and skidding to a stop, having slammed down hard. The exit I had been running to was blocked now and I felt a little disoriented from the fall but I got back up. The thing turned back at me and hissed, black dripping from a part of it I assumed was the head. This thing meant business.

I stood up and began backing up. If I ran I would only be giving it my back. Behind me there was a loud bang and I turned my head to see what was going on. From the tiny window on the stairwell door I could see someone was trying to come up, was pounding on the door to force it to open but it wasn’t happening. Levi. He was trying to come up but the door was shut. I couldn’t open it now. I grabbed my purse and forced it open, trying to reach for my salt when the Dark One shot forward like a jumping spider this time. I slid to the side but a part of it hit my shoulder and knocked me into the window, my back slamming against it hard enough to knock the air out of me. I slid onto the floor, my purse flying off my arm somewhere. None of that mattered though. My mind was somewhere else completely right now.

The Dark One touched me enough that I was forced into its memories. Darkness. There was so much darkness. My limbs were heavy with it, my body didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to move. I was me but I wasn’t me. Something kept cracking and it was close. The noise was always near me, always right there. Wait, no, it wasn’t near me. It was me. My body was cracking. Something was broken. I was broken.

It took me a moment for me to open my eyes, my body slow from the hit, but I shook myself out of it, my fingernails biting into my skin. That was _not_ me. That was the memory of the Dark One. It had grown black and volatile from the years it spent in a very dark place, wherever it had died, and now it wanted to cause more misery. I scrambled onto my hands and knees right as it came at me again, my eyes refocusing. My purse was stuck behind it. I would never reach it in time to protect myself, and while I had been looking at my purse I wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way. It had seen me down and it took its opportunity.

The black, oozing mass charged at me again and I threw my hands up to protect myself. It pinned me against the corner of the wall and the floor, snapping at my head. I hissed between my teeth, holding it off from getting me, but my body started snapping back to somewhere else again. No, don’t bring me back! I couldn’t go back now!

Darkness. Fear. Panic. The cracking was in my ears, it was the only thing I could hear. Stop this! STOP THIS!

A single echoing shot and the black oozing mass was thrown out of my hands. Sweat dripped from my eyebrows and I lied there, my mind frazzled, stuck in the past and in this moment. I was in two places at the same time. That anger in me from the Dark One was threatening to paralyze me to the floor, my eyes staring up at the ceiling. My hands fell flat, balled into fists. Come out of this. I can come out of this.

I heard another shot and my body reacted by flinching. A roar filled the hallway, the Dark One screeching in pain. Whatever was happening it was hurting it. I let out short gasps and turned to look over. Levi stood there with his shotgun and his cellphone shining a light forward. The Dark One backed up but it looked like it was recoiling to shoot forward- and right at him.

“Levi…” My voice was weak, the memories still playing in my head, overflowing and bringing me into sensory overload. “Levi, move the gun over twenty degrees down to your right!” I shouted into the hallway. I couldn’t look at him, only at the Dark One about to jump. If it did I would jump first, get in the way, take it down with my own body. I would touch it to save Levi, but I knew if I did again I might not come back up a second time.

There was another shot and more screeching, the Dark One wailing and skidding onto the floor. Black ooze dripped from it, parts going off in different directions. Then there was another shot and footsteps coming closer to me. The Dark One couldn’t move now. Levi had put enough holes in it that it had become immobilized, its limbs shot to hell. I leaned against the wall, my hands gripping at the windowsill, trying to pick myself up while my head was spinning. I needed my purse now. It was still close to the Dark One but I could reach it. I darted for it, unbalanced and teetering from right to left but I grabbed my bag, making a run away from the Dark One. Levi shot again but it missed because the Dark one had moved again, towards me like it wanted. I couldn’t pay attention.

I frantically dumped out my bag of its contents and found the salt pouch and the silver. The deep purple stone skittered against the floor and I remembered Hanji’s words about it. It was good against dark spirits. I grabbed at it and turned around right as the Dark One was about to grab onto me. Levi looked like he was going to get in between us but he wasn’t as close to it as I was. I pushed all my weight forward and hit it with everything I had, throwing down the salt and adding the amethyst and the silver to where its head should be.

“Go away!” I shouted, pushing m will forward. The thing screeched, shaking violently and trying to rip the stuff from its head but I wouldn’t budge. It began to bubble until it blew up, the force of it throwing me backward right into Levi. We went flying across the hallway, Levi skittering next to me as I rolled and stopped on my stomach with a groan. Dark matter rained down in the hallway, plopping onto the floor and steaming away.

It was gone. We got it. The pieces of its broken body turned to smoke and disappeared into the air as I tried to catch my breath, my cheek against the cold tiles. The lights came back on in the hallway one by one, stinging my eyes.

Levi. Was he ok? That was all I can think about in that moment.

“Levi? Levi, are you alright?” I asked, looking at him. His eyes were open, alert. He nodded his head, his gun having gone flying in front of us from the explosion.

“Yeah, I’m ok.” He said. For the most part he definitely seemed ok. That was good. He wasn’t hurt. I was glad. “Where is it? Is it gone?” He asked, looking around him like he could find it. I nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s gone. Usually… Usually normal Dark Ones are not as strong as this one.” I was trying to catch my breath, winded, my head still spinning. I winced, the emotions from the Dark One ebbing inside me, fading away like they usually did when I ceased contact with them. My fingernails were digging into my palms to keep me connected in this world, in the real world and not the spiritual one.

Levi stood on his hands and knees and came over to me. I smiled pathetically, getting onto my hands and knees, my body crying out at me for moving so suddenly. “Don’t worry about me. It’s just… It’s just when they touch me their memories pull me into them, into their pain and misery. I’ll be ok.” I tried to shrug it off without any of it sounding as serious as it actually was. Levi came over and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. He held me in his arms, knowing full well I was in a weakened state. I sighed and just let him hold me up, taking the smallest bit of comfort in just this even though I just put him in danger.

“If they’re not as strong as this then why was it so strong?” He asked a really good question, one I couldn’t answer right now. I shook my head and looked him in the eyes, uncertainty clear in my gaze.

“I don’t know. I do know I’ve never seen a soul like this one before. It had something wrapped around it, some grey mass clinging to it.” I told him. I didn’t know what that could mean or what it was. It could even be nothing, I just really didn’t know. I looked around us, at the gun and my stuff on the floor. We had to get this cleaned up before someone started questioning us. Begrudgingly, I began pulling myself away from Levi. “We have to get this cleaned up or people will ask questions.” I tried to stand on my own but my head was having none of that. It was like being slapped with vertigo and winded-ness all at once. I teetered again and Levi’s arm went on mine, holding me up and steadying me. He stood off the floor first and brought me up with him.

“Let me grab everything. You just stay here.” He brought me over to the wall so I could lean on it and not fall over. I was grateful but I still felt bad for being like this. There was no way I could help it though. That thing left behind some strong emotions that almost had me completely involved in its darkness. It was dangerous, deadly. It could have very well killed me if Levi wasn’t there.

Levi went and shoved everything back into my back, making sure to leave nothing behind. He picked up his gun and came over to me, holding both in one hand. With his other hand he wrapped his arm around my waist and started maneuvering me to the stairwell door we had come out of.

“Come on. Let’s get you to your apartment.” He looked at me, his eyes worried but his demeanor as strong as a rock.

 

"An asprin and some sleep would do you good.” I had undressed myself enough that climbing into bed was not a bad idea. The least I could do was that. Levi did not need to undress me, thank you very much. He went out of my room and I crawled into bed.

He didn’t scold me quite yet. No, it seemed like he was waiting to tell me I was stupid for leaving him behind like that in the hallway. For now he was trying to make sure I was ok, that I wasn’t seriously injured with a concussion. I didn’t think I had one. The Dark One slammed me hard but it was never on my head. What was wrong with my head was not from an injury but from tinged memories blackened from negativity and anguish.

I shut my eyes and turned out the too bright light. My senses felt doubled when I went through fights like this and relived painful memories. Levi came back and forced me to take two asprins and chug water. He had locked away the salt shotgun a while ago, now resting on the chest at the edge of my bed. I handed him the empty glass and fell back down on the bed.

“You know,” I smiled stupidly, “that stupid gun wasn’t too bad. You should have seen it. You left actual holes in that spirit.” I smiled like it was funny and looked at Levi. This was not funny to him. My smile dried up.

“I couldn’t see exactly where I was shooting. I’m glad I actually shot it to begin with. If you hadn’t told me where to shoot it would have been a whole different story.” He looked kind of upset at himself. I shook my head hard, making my mind spin again.

“No, ait, that’s not fair. You can’t blame yourself for not being able to see. No one can see what I can see. No one. And that’s the way it should be.” I shifted to look at Levi’s eyes. “No one should see the things I do. It’s not normal.” I explained softly. He helped enough. He saved my life even. I could admit that. Levi had almost single handedly dealt with the Dark One. The only thing I did was send it off to wherever it needed to go instead of just killing it but a few more shots and that thing would have been dead.

Levi pursed his lips. I didn’t like seeing him upset like that. He didn’t deserve to be hard on himself over that. Not over something he couldn’t help. I tugged on his sleeve.

“Can you stay tonight?” I asked him, sounding way younger than I meant to. I didn’t exactly want to be alone after that and more than that I didn’t want to have Levi sit alone thinking about something like that. He looked at me, contemplating it, before standing up and taking his pants off. He shucked his shirt and crawled into bed with me, going under the covers and pulling them over me. His arms came to wrap around me and I snuggled closer, no words needed to be spoken between us.

This was what I wanted right now. Even with all the fighting we get into I couldn’t help but be comforted by this right here, by the connection we had. I loved him. I really loved him and I just couldn’t believe it for myself but this love made me want to protect him from all this as much as he wanted to protect me from this.

I closed my eyes and let myself relax against him, thinking about that Dark One. Whatever was going on I had a feeling I would find out soon enough. For now. I let myself fall into an easy, dreamless sleep in Levi’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter is starting to get us to the conclusion this fic needs. The pieces will soon come together, don't you worry. With my new-found summer freedom I will get this fic all settled out- hopefully. Homestly tho I had half this chapter written when I just lost all time to do it so I'm feeling pretty crappy about it. But here it is!!! Thanks for reading as always and feel free to leave a comment minna!! (Excuse any typos, I'm writing pretty fast and super late at night teehee)


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